Thursday 26 July 2007

Big Brother 8: 10 Reasons Not to Like Carole

ARGHHHH! Carole is so annoying! She is so damn sanctimonious. I was furious when she was giving Chanelle a lecture, yet seemed to have selected hearing when Charley basically said the rest of the house were her slaves, so tough shit. When Ziggy called her up on it (OK, so I may like Ziggy again a bit) Carole missed the point completely by going 'I didn't hear her say it.' It doesn't MATTER if you didn't hear her say it, Carole. If someone calls me a crap writer, or an annoying gimp, it doesn't matter if I didn't hear them. If they said it, I'd be angry. Got it now, Carole? Good. I also liked it when Ziggy called Charley a twat. Sometimes the simple ones are most effective. The twins did actually look a bit distressed by the arguing today. And what was all that group crying about? Weirdness.
Instant gratification for us anti-Caroleites came soon enough, by a quick skirt round Carole's real house as part of the task. What's this?! It's a fucking grot palace! A five star dump. Charley had to put her hand over her mouth to stop the truth coming out. The silence was uncomfortably wonderful. I loved Ziggy getting a sly dig in. What this proves, folks, is cleaning for Carole is about power: nothing more, nothing less. In the real world, she's happy to live in a house Kim and Aggie would probably condemn.
Big Brother! Give the housemates more booze. I liked the twins looking tiddly in the diary room. I liked Brian getting angry about the honour of Basildon and clucking at Charley. And I liked Chanelle and Ziggy pretend romping in the bed.
BYE CHARLEY. Not long now, my pretty.

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