Monday, 30 April 2007

Metrowords Reading Event: New Short Stories

Is it wrong to write a review of something that I was a special guest at? Only if I write a sugary, glossy review about it, saying I was the star. So here goes... hahaha. Only joking.
It was a very good night (except the boiling hot heat). Anne did a good job setting up and organising. Steve put together a good mix of writers and did a good job comparing (even if some of his jokes fell flat!) and I was very pleased to be invited to read.
As usual some people need to edit themselves a little: I did this by making mine half the length of everyone elses so I didn't have to rush it. I am absolutely terrifed of reading out loud. I hate people looking at me and go bright red.
People were shaking my hand and congratulating me afterwards which was pretty cool- no autographs this time though hahaha.
Not everything was to my taste but it's not going to be at a night like this. I'm used to my writing class where we just rip each other to shreds, not clapping politely!
Everyone read very confidently and it was good to meet everyone and massive thanks to everyone who turned up.
Jeff was ace ('the only black man in the room reading a story about a drugs bust'- his words not mine!): I think we as special guests rocked (but I may be biased). The New Short Stories book looks excellent and the artwork is amazing. Why am I not in it???
The next event is Monkey's Typewriter related next month so we shall be doing it all over again except with our homies (and we might be doing some poems-what a treat! haha). Hopefully my novel will be properly finished by the end of May and then...
I'll start cosmic-ordering Noel-stylee.

Patrick Wolf- Back from the Dead

Good news: Patrick Wolf is not quitting music and says he plans to release a double album, one 'half orchestral: extremely beautiful and celebrating neuroses and mental breakdowns and the other will be hard and techno and almost like death metal.'
That sounds AMAZING.
So I can listen to The Magic Position again now. I knew he was a drama queen. But I also know how it feels to have a tantrum on a messageboard.
Oh, those were the days.

Tuesday, 24 April 2007

Patrick Wolf retires in messageboard strop

Browsing on the internet last night, I came across a story on the NME website saying Patrick Wolf had announced he was to quit music, which was worrying. He's only 23 years old and hitting the peak of his career. This led me to Patrick Wolf's messageboard (I didn't even know he had one) and after a bit of investigation, it turned out he was throwing a strop because someone had posted a video of him punching his drummer and some people had been critical of this.
Firstly, the drummer deserved punching and I found the video very amusing. Patrick Wolf is clearly a perfectionist about his music and takes it quite seriously. He was right to be annoyed when the drummer was too stoned/ high to even attempt to play them. Patrick smacking him the face with a cymbal and kicking him off stage was pretty fair I think. Patrick's live shows are really tight and this guy clearly wasn't pulling his weight. So hey ho.
Anyway: this offended a few babies on his messageboard, which Patrick obviously read, took great offence to, and posted a comment saying he'd had enough of music and was quitting in November. Whether this was directly related to the drummer thing I don't know, but he was lamenting that he was sick of interviews, burnt out, and wanted to embark on other creative projects. He also wrote something very pretentious about his persona being 'like Disneyland' and he wanted to give us Disneyland and magic, and we were ungrateful brats basically. It would have been amusing had I not been pretty concerned that he really is to quit.
This morning I'm still not really any the wiser. Was it just a messageboard strop? If he's that disillusioned with touring and interviews, why doesn't he just cut back? He's signed to a major label now and they are clearly milking him: he was on the Charlotte Church show, for god's sake. He's gone from a little known underground artist to being on The Culture Show, Transmission, The Album Chart Show, Popworld... I've seen him on everything lately. Even I thought he was getting overexposed. If his management aren't taking care of him, he should say so, not threaten to quit music altogether.
Even if he does want to pursue other creative avenues, why would he have to quit music completely? Surely music is a unextinguishable passion, even if promoting and touring isn't.
Hopefully this is all a flash in the pan and he won't be giving up music. Last night I felt very miserable about it all, which also annoyed me, because even if he is just being dramatic, I still feel let down by him, just because he has meant so much to us lately. I have this weird thing of just cutting people off in my head that have hurt me, and that extends to singers too. It reminds me a bit of when Kurt Cobain died. I remember vividly that I felt so betrayed by him I never listened to Nirvana again. I always felt extremely angry with him- even now actually. I just wrote him right off. Perhaps the comparision doesn't quite work, but it does feel like a friend has ditched me, or is threatening to.
The weird thing is, I've been dreaming about Patrick every day for the past couple for weeks. Perhaps I predicted this.

Sunday, 22 April 2007

Quarry Night- Hang the DJ*

*yes, that was too easy

This year has been a relatively Moz-free zone: relative to the last year for example where this happened:

*went to the filming of the Album Chart Show at KOKO
*went to Alexandra Palace (where my boyfriend got a hallowed bit of Moz shirt)
*went to the V festival
*went to the filming of the Russell Brand show
*went to 2 Quarry nights
*went to see The Smyths twice (OK, that's clutching at straws!)
*went to see him at Wembley.

This has definitely been the year of Patrick Wolf and Bright Eyes so I was looking forward to getting my foot back in the Moz door and wiping out Mark Ronson from my memory asap.
The Quarry night is fairly simple, it just plays Morrissey and The Smiths. How can you go wrong?
The venue has changed several times since I went to the first one, which is fine, although the last venue we went to was good as it had a proper dancefloor. This venue was a tapas bar which we were basically in the bottom room of. Which was OK, because only about 30 people turned up.
Normally these things are awash with chrysanthemums (you try spelling that: OK I cheated), posters of Moz everywhere, as well as a video going. This just had a video and a few flowers knocking around. It seemed midly half arsed.
It's weird going to these things, because you recognise people yet don't know them. There's always a few Mozzabees, from the half hearted (a quiff, glasses) to the seriously devoted (seperated at birth). We were super poor: I went with my boyfriend and we were penniless so had smuggled in some vodka. We got very merry and had a dance, so it was all good except:
The music! How can you get it wrong? How about play about 25 Smiths songs in a row initially? There are only two options for the night, try giving us a bit of variety! They also played some odd choices: you don't get more die-hard than me, but I don't think they played ANYTHING off Ringleader. And the only things they played off Quarry were some lame live tracks. Live tracks! They sounded shit! Just play the proper songs! It was very annoying. Live tracks are only good if they sound amazing: and these didn't.
Finally the DJ berated us for not having brought more friends and said it would be closing at 2am instead of 3am. Cool: could we have two quid back then? I guess not.
Needless to say, I could put a Morrissey tracklist together in three seconds that would have made the lesbians all pee their pants for the entire night, not just the last five minutes.
I enjoyed Speedway and Lost, but the girl asleep on the couch for two hours was probably the fairest critic.
Buck it up next time, or only ten people will show up.
It's a shame: these nights are a safe haven and can be truly brilliant.

Friday, 20 April 2007

American Idol

Even though I haven't mentioned it so far in my blogular I have been following American Idol, in spite of the fact it's a personality-free zone. The songs are also weird country/ MOR shit we've never even heard of this side of the free world. The contestants are boring fuckers. Simon Cowell is like Simon Cowell replicated in a Crimewatch reconstruction. 110%? Check! Karaoke! Check! Cruise ship caberet? Check! Child being forced to stand up sing at a garden party? Check!
Randy has stopped saying 'dawg/ in the dawg pound/ a'ight' and therefore is pointless except for being a kind of male Oprah Winfrey yo-yo dieter sideshow attraction. Paula is constantly drunk and pointless.
Tonight I'd read that Cowell rolled his eyes when Chris made a comment about the Virginia massacre and rightly predicted they'd cut it out. Sadly Simon didn't realise we have You Tube, so we watched it anyway. I was less fussed about Simon's eye-rolling and more concerned about Chris 'twitchy' Richardson's blatant sympathy-vote pulling opportunistic display of shoehorning in 'I lost a lot of friends'. Really? Name them. Call me cynical. But I'd rather be a heartless cunt than a naive sheep. Next week it could be a dying grandma to distract from his dreadful singing. Who knows.
Worse than all of this, including mass murder, is Cat 'stroke victim' Deeley's insipid links. If you're a man and you fancy her, seek help: half her face is sliding off. This is a woman who would probably greet the news of being diagnosed with terminal cancer with a sugary 'Fantastic!'
Seriously, drop dead, you pathetic bitch.
Disclaimer: I was drunk when I wrote this but its still true.

Wednesday, 18 April 2007

Beyond Reason

I read today the most twisted logic I've probably ever heard. The aptly-named Larry Pratt declared that deaths could have been prevented at the Virginia university campus because 'if students had not been banned from having guns on campus, they could have fired back.' Just imagine that in your head for a moment.
He also said 'schools being a gun-free zone leaves students at the mercy of madmen'.
Can he really believe that? Does he want to see little Johnny aged seven going to school with a gun in his rucksack? Or maybe the lovely teacher can shoot the fuck out of everyone if needs be instead. Not exactly Goldilocks, is it?
This culture of fear and kill-or-be-killed bullshit explains a lot about the mentality of so-called 'normal' (and in actual fact, blood-thirsty) Americans.
As for the much weilded out 'guns don't kill people, people kill people'- very true, but a fuck of a lot quicker with a machine gun than a wooden spoon, am I right?
I don't think that Cho Sung-Hu could have karate-kicked his way through 30 odd people. Even with a knife he could have been overpowered pretty quickly, I'd imagine.
The disgusting part is how many millions of people have this sick mentality.
Britain is a fucked up shithole, but we should thank our lucky stars we do not have widespread religious mania coupled with the love of guns, or we really would be screwed.
Still, we may all end up shooting the shit out of each other yet. But if everyone started shooting back, as Pratt suggest, it would probably end in a nuclear war.
And then self-defence starts to look like a pretty lame excuse.

Saturday, 14 April 2007

Derren Brown/ Peep Show

Could this be the best hour of TV we've seen all year? It was definitely the most eagerly anticipated by little old me. Derren Brown could basically rule the world and you know it. Instead he decides to just perform increasingly elaborate tricks on students and celebrities whilst looking very smug indeed. Mind you, I'd look smug if I could rule the world yet basically couldn't be arsed. In fact, that might even be true. Nah. Probably not.
Anyway. In his latest show he takes one person who has volunteered and plays an elaborate trick on them. In this one he broke into a guys house wearing murderer gloves (his girlfriend had given him the key), woke him up, hypnotised him and woke him up again in Marrakesh. How you can get an unconscious man through customs when you can't even take an average-sized bottle of shampoo was not explained. It was a good trick, but a bit too much time was spent on it, I guess, I like to get a bit more variety out of Derren. I also wanted to see the guys reaction when they woke him up. I'm looking forward to the car crash one though. Derren is a sick fuck and an evil genius and I demand to marry him.
So if Derren was a slight let down, Peep Show was the opposite. I thought they may have dried up a little as they are on the fourth series, but it really started in style and was absolutely hilarious. Spot on. The pheasant thing was absolutely disgusting! Obviously I'd already seen about ten minutes of it in the many clips they've ben showing, but it was still laugh out loud funny all the way through.
And I was drunk too, which helped.
I've high hopes for the rest of the series. Jonathan Ross, on the other hand, needs to get some decent guests. When Charlotte Church is outdoing you on the bookings, it's time to sort it out, J.Ro!

Wednesday, 11 April 2007

Patrick Wolf at The Astoria

Wow The Astoria is amazing! I've never been there before which seems impossible. I love all the tables and chairs and there's a great view from everywhere. They'd better not knock it down. We got a really prime spot sitting in the middle where we could see really well (but couldn't take a decent picture, dammit!)
As usual the crowd seemed VERY young, either that or I'm fucking old. There were a couple of old folk in there later though (going 'oooh isn't he gorgeous?' hahaha)
The support was a bit strange, some man/woman in hotpants called 'No bra'. This was pure torture, most probably to make Patrick look even better (which isn't necessary). Next was Patrick's friend Bishi who was more interesting with a good voice and a big yellow dress playing the sitar. I was quite happy to sit through the support as we had a nice table and a good view (I cant stand at the front ALL the time!)
Patrick finally came on with a bang, in a spangly gold and black ensemble. He'd also done a Howl and dyed his hair BLACK! No more ginger. He'd also had quite a severe Hitler hairdo but it still looked good. He looked cool as fuck.
People may be mistaken into thinking Patrick is style over substance, but those people are dimlos. He is such a talented performer, an imaginative showman and an incredible voice. He looks so cool when he plays the piano, like a nutty professor, I love it! His musicians are really talented as well, and they seem like a tight-knit bunch (and I even like the female backing vocals!)
The comparison with Bright Eyes was inevitable having seen them so recently; Conor came on with his hair in his eyes, Patrick came out waggling his arse around dressed in skintight gold trousers. I know what I'D rather see! Patrick really bounces off the audience, shows he cares for his audience, and really treats the audience. Both his old and new songs are equally good, which also helps. He mixes folk, pop, techno, classic and doesn't pigeonhole himself at all, and it really works. He pushes himself creatively, chucks himself around the stage and writes great melodies, songs to dance and fall in love to.
Patrick opened with Get Lost and went on to play a whole ream of my favourite songs off the new album. Bluebells was amazing and The Magic Position was unbelievably good, so joyful. Of the oldies, it was really a treat to hear The Libertine as well as Bloodbeat and Tristan (I still wanna hear Don't Say No though!)
He also played a new song called Blackbird which sounded really, really good: how often do you go see a band and really LOVE the new stuff? Was a little disturbed when he started singing 'Sexyback' by Justin Timberlake at the end, but then he did put his hand down his pants, which was enjoyable. He also got his chest out which again, I can't see Conor doing. Moz does though: rargh!
He went off halfway through and changed from his bumble bee outfit into some street urchin look with panda eyes, which wasn't quite as sexy. Bishi (I THINK she's called Bishi) came on and did Magpie which I quite enjoyed as her voice suited it. Patrick also did The Stars which is just beautiful.
For the encore he came on in blue clogs, red ankle socks and gold leggings. He also came on with what appeared to be an orange Oompa-Loompa-esque Vivienne Westwood who shouted through Accident and Emergency which was very surreal. It WASN'T Vivienne Westwood. Maybe I should know who it was. It just seemed like someone's drunk mum or something though, so fuck knows. He finished with a disco cover 'I Feel Like I'm in Love' which was extremely camp but good fun so we owed him that much after all he'd given us.
He gave us loads. You can't fault him live. I want to be his friend and wear clashing glittery clothes and be his fag hag and be at one with nature.
I want to be friends with him and Derren Brown and Ricky Gervais and Mitchell and Webb. One day! All this will be mine. See ya, Patrick. You rock.

Sunday, 8 April 2007

Grease Is The Word

Not much to say about this except I came upon it entirely by accident (honest, guv!) Judges include a Peter Jones/ Derek Acorah hybrid, everyone's favourite jungler David Gest and (Simon Cowell clearly picked the panel) Sinitta wearing a ridiculous pink hat. There was some other bloke wearing a ridiculous pink hat too but he didn't have much of an impact.
It's your usual crushing-of-dreams format, trying to find roles for (you guessed it) Sandy and Danny in Grease. There was a very funny girl who'd come as a tangerine and the judges missed several tricks by not ripping her into tiny pieces. In fact, all the contestants seemed mentally unhinged; a series of OAPs and uglies wanting the role of a 17 year old. Be realistic! As a person of normal appearance but with little self esteem I wonder what these people see when they look in the mirror. How wonderful it must be to be so deluded. I'll have some of that.
Gest should clearly be a judge on the X Factor when it returns. I heard it's going to be Danni Minogue! Danni Minogue? 'Yeah that was bonza, mate.' POINTLESS!
Anyway, I digress.
Will I be watching this shit again?
Anything's possible. Glastonbury ticket= no money= many Friday and Saturday nights indoors.

Saturday, 7 April 2007

Bright Eyes- Cassadaga

I got Cassadaga in the post today, ordered from the US with the Four Winds EP (which you stupidly can't get over here). It was such a treat opening it all, they had sent free stickers and a free mini CD (Susan Miller Rag). There is a little viewfinder thing to look at the (Smashing Pumpkins-esque) magic-eye style sleeve artwork and it felt quite magical, I felt quite sorry for people who download only. It reminded me of the excitement I felt when I first sat down with Wide Awake and Digital Ash; how exciting was THAT for a rabid Bright Eyes fan.
So here I was again. Except slightly less excited. Because I was dreading the new 'country' direction. And was I right?
As usual it opens with the dirgy tuneless talky bit sent to annoy you. Some really great songs have been first on Bright Eyes albums, lost because it's so easy to just skip, skip, skip. It's hard to tell how loud the volume is on these bits, Conor. I want to put my stereo on and get straight back in bed frankly. This song Clairaudients is quite nice, neither here nor there really, but definitely not too country.
Next is Four Winds, which I've heard a billion times now. Like it better than I used to, and some of the lyrics are really clever, although they don't really mean anything to me personally. It's catchy, radio-friendly, but so are a lot of things and it's not a compliment. This is one you just have to put up with at shows really.
If The Brakeman Turns My Way I'd heard was a good one, but the first time I heard it massive alarm bells went off in my head. Conor sounds like he's putting on some weird Southern accent that definitely isn't his and it turned me right off. He holds a note in a way I've never heard him do before and it just sounds odd. There is something really cheesy about the chorus. It could be a fifty year old singing this. Having said that, I've listened to it more and it does grow on you, but still this is the direction I don't really want Bright Eyes to go down. I don't know, 'bullet train, crazy rain': it all sounds a bit cliched to cynical me. This is my favourite band. This song just doesn't make sense to me.
Hot Knives is one of his story tracks. I think I'd like it a million times better if they turned the wank guitar down. Just turn the drums and the guitar down and turn Conor's voice up. This album is heavily over-produced. It reminds me of America's Sweetheart by Courtney Love in a way, in that there was (contrary to popular belief) about four good songs on there, they just needed stripping down massively. I do like this song, the music is just annoying somehow. I pretty much hate all female backing vocals on Bright Eyes records too. I'd like to hear this song live and see how it works then.
Make a Plan to Love Me has got Disney film love-song written all over it to me, which obviously is horrific. By this point in the first listen myself and the boyfriend were feeling very down-hearted. This doesn't seem like a genuine love song to me. I never understood the fuss about First Day of My Life, but that is five million times more meaningful than this. It's just not doing it for me at all! It's one of those ones where it's like I feel like I should love it, but actually it's so cheesy I can't. Boo. At least he's singing in his normal voice though. And no horrible guitars! Hurrah. Lots of female backing vocals though- not good. Don't get me wrong, there's plenty of female singers I like, I just think the femal backing on Bright Eyes albums is just too sugary half the time.
Soul Singer in a Session Band I know quite well from a while back. I didn't like it very much until I heard it live at Koko and it was actually very good live. The album version seems slightly too slow for my taste and I was waiting for the big shouty ending which never really happened, which was a big mistake.
Classic Cars is an awful song title, but the words are pretty good. It's a bit too country-fied for me, but he almost shouts, and at least sounds a bit pissed off. I think this one could grow. Ignore the wank guitar! Honestly, try.
Middleman I immediately recognised as he played it live at Koko last month. The intro also sounds loads like a song on the new Patrick Wolf album. This song is pretty good, a change of pace, a bit darker.
And then...
The album actually gets good.
I know you'd lost hope, and thought I was a bitter old bitch, but here it is. Song number nine! I actually felt relieved. All was not lost. My boyfriend's feet started tapping. Cleanse Song is classic Bright Eyes, Bowl Of Oranges-esque. This could be off any Bright Eyes album. No country! Yay. Just a simple, sweet under-produced song. Hallelujah!
I have had a very pared-down live version of No One Would Riot For Less for about two years. I absolutely loved the song and couldn't wait to hear a studio version of it, but then got a bit scared it was going to be an over-produced mess. Luckily they have played it pretty well, there are times when you think 'don't do it!' with the strings but it is mostly kept quite understated and atmospheric. They lyrics are really beautiful: it's all about the last line. THIS is a love song. This is the song I thought of when my tent got trampled on at V and me and my boyfriend were in sleeping bags under the stars getting rained on. It was QUITE similar to word war! I'd love to hear this live. Best thing on the album by a mile.
Coat Check Dream Song made me remember that Digital Ash wasn't just a collective hallucination: it has beats! If only we could have had a bit more of this. Ecstasy is mentioned! Conor is still a young man, not an ancient old yokel. Thank God. I love the fact there is some sort of foreign hollering on the end of this, I love the fact the country fans will hate this.
I Must Belong Somewhere I have had a live version for around two years as well, in fact I thought this was an old b-side for some reason. Can't fault it, it's a good song. He shouts less than on the version I have. Can you tell I miss the shouting? I miss the shouting LOTS.
Lime Tree I'd also heard was a goodie. It doesn't have much of a tune, but it is very stripped down which is good. The lyrics are actually meaningful and not trite. I kind of wish it would kick in though.
In conclusion, I must stress I've only listened to the album three times, and I'm sure some songs will grow. But first impressions are important too. I miss the ROCK. I miss the anger. Sadness is OK, but I liked the anger. I miss Conor's voice fucking up, because they've airbrushed it out. I think they should lose Mike Mogis, who is not a genius, as some girl shouted at Koko behind me, but rather a smug character riding on Conor's coat-tails. Conor is the genius in Bright Eyes, and his voice and lyrics are more important than any fucking fancy pedal or guitar.
Where can Conor go from here?
Hopefully somewhere else entirely. This can't be it for the next 40 years, can it...?

Wednesday, 4 April 2007

The Apprentice- Doggy Style

Actually, that title is just too graphic. I've got the most disturbing images coming to mind.
Anyway, I was forced to watch The Apprentice again and I admit it was better than last weeks, although for the first ten minutes I was just thinking 'CUNTS!'
They had to invent a doggy accessory- none of which were as good as my boyfriend's snap suggestion of something flashing you put on the end of their tail to make them chase it for your amusement.
The Rory guy was hilarious; making everyone take off their jackets and saying don't speak over each other. What a nonce. And that was before we got to the Moet cufflinks, bhahahaha! I was glad Tre was bugging him. 'You're nuffink to me!' Too right.
The ugly upper-class Jamie-from-Eastenders lookalike was amazing when he finally spoke, every bad American's idea of an English person personified. Keep him in!
The girls seem to be making little impression except the mouthy one on the boys team (should go far). Alan's henchmen scare the shit out of me too- that ghost-faced woman with a red slit of a mouth in particular.
Finally Rory and Ifty were fired (yes, Ifty). Ifty couldn't stand to be away from his son, but would be away from him long enough in the future to become a billionaire. A likely story.
In conclusion, The Apprentice is still shit but it's mindless watchable shit like 'Fuck Off, I'm a Hairy Woman' which I watched on BBC3 recently. Or like 'Britains Worst Teeth' which I sky plussed at the time as The Apprentice. God bless dumbed down digital channels.

Sunday, 1 April 2007

Louis Theroux: God Hates Fags

I'm so happy that Louis is back on TV, and still looking HOT if I may say so. In tonights episode he stayed with 'the most hated family in America' who hated gay people, dead soldiers, people who weren't married, Princess Diana; virtually everyone in fact. These charming (not at all inbred) people picketed funerals telling dead soldiers grieving families their kids deserved to die because they were sinners for a variety of bizarre reasons, all of which made less sense than the last.
They actually had quite an artistic collection of placards, which ranged from 'fags die, god laughs', 'Liz Taylor: Fag Enabler' to 'God hates Sweden'. (don't ask)
My sense of rage whilst watching this was unbridled. I prayed for a drive-by, or at least for someone to get out of their car and punch them in the face. Someone chucked a drink at one of the 8 year old kids which wasn't quite as satisfying.
Louis almost snapped at one point, but managed to reign it in despite being called dumb and being told he was going to hell for having a baby 'out of wedlock' (I feel a hundred even writing those words).
Louis nearly got to one of the younger girls, and her forced smile started to crack a little, but the brainwashing was just too strong. She said if she got run over by a car her family would be pleased because it would be God's will and she'd go to Hell for sinning.
Which makes me wonder... how many thousands of years will it take for us to eradicate religion from society? The day can't come soon enough.

Celebrity Wife Swap- Feltz Vs Daniels

Now, I know it's not a popular view, but I like Vanessa Feltz. I find her opinionated, intelligent and funny. Naturally I don't like Paul Daniels. I saw THAT Louis Theroux. But in actual fact, after watching this, I came away very disappointed in Vanessa.
Her fiance (whom she's been going out with for four months) is clearly a layabout- he moved into Vanessa's house and seems to survive by doing those kind of grotty PAs in alcopop-fuelled chav clubs that Ricky Gervais sent up in The Office. He's living off of one single he released in 1999- he mentioned it about 25 times like he'd created Harry fucking Potter or dreamt up the internet. In fact, he made a pretty undanceable dated pop song several years back. Get over it.
Paul and Debbie are clearly a grotty bitter pair, used up and set in their ways. But Vanessa didnt do herself any favours, taking Paul to the kind of meat market singles bar you stopped going to when you were 18 (and only then if you were a desperate loser). She then proceeded to flirt with men her daughters age and generally made a giant cunt of herself. Does she REALLY consider that fun? I had expected a little more of her.
The final let down was when Vanessa said she didn't want her bloke being given career advice from 'a magician's assistant'. Just because Debbie has chosen that life for herself doesn't mean she should be demeaned like that, and she does seem like a hard-working person.
Vanessa: dont be so judgemental. When the 'Turnaround' dude is snoring on the couch surrounded by dirty plates in a years time you may just have second thoughts...