tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16235277472386577042024-03-13T03:48:50.957+00:00Exitainmentlightupvirginmaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01371404648770257776noreply@blogger.comBlogger1523125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623527747238657704.post-18360114536140955672018-11-06T19:25:00.002+00:002018-11-06T19:27:53.864+00:00Goodbye, Big Bro<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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'I know it's over, still I cling, I don't know where else I can go' as Morrissey once sang, and today, I know the feeling.<br />
I haven't blogged in while but it felt only fitting to use a dying format to say goodbye to a friend of 18 years, Big Brother. I do think BBUK will continue, like Glenn from The Walking Dead coming out from the dumpster 'in one form or another', and it definitely still exists in one form or another internationally, and for that, I'm grateful.<br />
Big Brother has meant so much to me over the years, from making friends, forming relationships, blogging, podcasting, arguing online, arguing in real life, arguing because we care, we fucking care about this thing that yes, IS still on, except now... it isn't.<br />
The ironic part is that it feels like things are just kicking off for our <a href="https://www.spreaker.com/user/lightupvm" target="_blank">BB on Blast podcast</a> in the past year or so, getting to go to the house, getting invited to talk to the producers, becoming mates with Arisa, host of BB Canada, and it can't all be for nothing, can it? Can it?<br />
Big Brother on C5 is often slated, but thinking back over the moments we've had over the past few years, there's been a lot of really, really good ones. I'll leave it for the other fansites to take you on that trip down memory lane, but from Danny Wisker and his canoe to Kim Woodburn's 'adulterer!' madness, it's been a wild ride, both 'civillian' and celeb. I still don't really understand why C5 is killing the top rated show it has, but they have made a lot of bad decisions recently (removing Lewis, for example). I won't be tuning into whatever brain rot they put on instead. BB is life, C5 is not.<br />
Will it go to Netflix? I feel like there's been a hell of a lot of hints. And I don't even mind it having 'a rest' for six months. But come on. We need UK Big Brother. The audience is there, and on Netflix, the international audience is there also. We could have live feed again! I know, I'm a dreamer. <br />
Last night was such a (!) blast. We were invited to the house, met in the pub beforehand, and were sent more free drinks from a mystery benefactor than I should have drunk. Trevor Boris, aka Marsha the Moose, came by to say hi! He didn't have to. Paul Osborne got Lewis and Mollie, hardcore BB fans onto the guest list with us, he didn't have to.<br />
We passed Brooke and Tomasz and got smuggled into the camera runs, and saw the four housemates sat on mental chairs up the corner. It didn't feel real. We went in the task room and Gaz stuck his hand in a mystery box full of goo and probably still hasn't washed it. We were given a Big Coin each; what a treat! We didn't expect these things. We were lucky.<br />
Jarrod and Matt held up signs. I held Garry's hand as votes were announced, and Gaz held mine, too. Mollie, Lewis, Gaz and I sipped on contraband vodka from my hipflask (wannabe edgy). Alfie was there, Chris, Jonnie... all friends I didn't have but now have, thanks to Big Brother. We sang to All These Things That I've Done which played over the highlights, my favourite Killers song, and one I'd just put on my Desert Island Discs for work the week before. How did you know, Big Brother? How did you know? It was magic.<br />
The old housemates were all there, right by us, all except Ellis, Isaac
(what did he have to do that was better?!) and you know who: the real
winner, Lewis.<br />
Emma cried. Half the grown men I was with cried. My eyes were watering all the way home, but I think I was just drunk! That's my story and I'm sticking to it. <br />
We watched and I booed Cameron and called him a misogynist, but I didn't really care anymore. It was all love and light on the night, probably because I was so hammered. It was about more than who won last night. It was about a story ending.<br />
OK: so now I'm going to watch the episode as it's such a blur when you're there. It was a peculiar final, too short, the wrong finalists (debatably) and little fanfare or nostalgia, really. If I hadn't been there, I'm not sure how it would have felt to watch on TV alone. Looking at Twitter, the overall feeling was rushed, but I've sat through finals that have been too long, too.<br />
OK, so there were some token throwback highlights at the start, including C4 stuff. We were screaming for Kinga! I note the prick in tinfoil also got shown, and even Aaron Allard Morgan! <br />
First up, let me clarify, I have never 'whoop whoop'ed in my life and never will. I feel like that's important to state.<br />
It's mad to think Big Brother started in the year 2000, when I was 20! I remember it like it was yesterday, specifically the Nasty Nick times. We had a Nasty Nick shrine, FFS. It's no wonder I've never grown up, maybe I've just been stuck being 20 since then. It would explain a lot.<br />
Emma IMO did not look that emotional, but I'm not keen on her anyway. I thought her velveteen robe dress made her look a bit Cruella De Ville too. See how she said, 'Quite possibly the last champion'. They have been saying shit like this the whole way. <br />
OMG I totally heard Lewis (my friend Lewis, not Lewis F) shout 'Netflix' as to what the future holds for Big Brother, ha and Emma giggled.<br />
Emma saying 'time is most definitely not on our side' = C5 shade. The eviction outfits aren't great, I must say. We've seen them all before. Zoe looked the best, Akeem just looked like he had his work shirt on. I was surprised they had to do a two by two eviction on the final night but it was the right two to go first. Cian was fourth and Zoe was third. She seemed very happy to be going with Cian. When you're there, you can't hear a word they say in their interviews, so I was interested to see this.<br />
Ugh I hate Emma's hair so much (might as well say it for the last time). Blonde does not suit her and nor does the Donald Trump bouffant. She used to have the coolest short hair when it was dark and slick. FAIL.<br />
Wow, there was 1% between Zoe and Cian! Not surprising, they are replacement level housemates. He is bit fake and a bit of a buttkiss, whereas she's real, but a misery guts. <br />
Not much of interest in their interview, Cian was a bad friend, Zoe has periods.<br />
Was interesting when Emma told them it was the last ever series and Zoe went 'flipping heck.' That made me sad.<br />
Ooh the housemates going in to The Killers. How GOOD does Lewis look giving that peace sign, DAMN. Btw, shout out to Sian's red hair, it looked fabulous. Nice to see all these clips of Lewis. Criminal he wasn't there because of a joke (admittedly a really bad taste joke). Still gutted we were denied his best bits and interview. I paid good money to keep him in this house. Mind you, this highlights package is pretty Lewis heavy. At this point in the crowd we were SCREAMING 'I've got soul but I'm not a soldier!' (Ooh, I just found a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=128&v=U-3K5or4mBY" target="_blank">good fanmade Lewis best bits</a> on YouTube)<br />
That was actually a really good clips package of the entire series Big Brother did there.<br />
Why they gave Lewis G the airtime to promote his single, I don't know, but I enjoyed chanting 'off' and 'who are ya.' Disgusting to see Hussain there and not have Lewis there. Yuck. The only clothing line Hussain will be bringing out is in his mum's back garden (sorry if someone already did that joke on Twitter, I haven't looked that far down yet!)<br />
Cameron was shaking like a shitting dog waiting for that announcement. Well done mate, great gameplan. Now fix up your YouTube if you've learnt anything in the house. Hopefully it's that equality isn't being allowed to punch women in the face and coming out (one of the times) by calling yourself 'bent' isn't a great look. <br />
I voted for Akeem to win, but I wasn't bothered about him coming second. He was a nice guy but he's no Lewis. His best bit was probably when his dog went in. Doing the two thumbs up for the photographers too, dearie me. That is so Akeem. <br />
Lol at Emma saying Akeem gave it 110%. Emma: 'You have been phenomenal' to Akeem and him going 'I have.' Ha! Bold.<br />
Ah, Akeem seems quite emotional in his interview! Emma telling him his parents are on holiday, ha.<br />
Akeem: 'I do a lot of training and delivery for my job.' No shit!<br />
The most exciting thing about Cameron winning was seeing Tony Dadley walk right by me in the audience. I booed and tried to get me giving him the thumbs down on camera but I'm too short! Haha.<br />
Tony Dadley going, 'Do you know what you've done?' If the answer is, 'Played the idiot general public?' The answer, I'm pretty sure is, yes.<br />
Cameron: 'I thought I was going to be irritating, annoying, I moan a lot..' Weeellll. Emma right up his arse. Well, we know she's a misogynist too (just ask Hazel). It's just 'his storm'. Like going 'Kill all Jews' was just Lewis's storm another year. Funny how it works, isn't it.<br />
Don't get me wrong, I actually think Cameron was a good housemate, and an interesting and entertaining one. The only downside is his previous behaviour, blatant gameplaying (coming out three times, please) and fake storylining (seeing a ghost, for example). But he was good to watch and bitch about. There, I said it. I hope he has learnt something, I really do and I hope he doesn't spend 100 grand on Brexit stickers and Trump colouring books.<br />
I'm glad Emma actually ackknowledged Lewis's existence in Cameron's interview and the importance of their friendship.<br />
Emma going 'You have won Big Brother not Lewis'. Yet he would have had he been there.<br />
Cameron had only come out to five people before (and Twitter). This crap that he never planned to come out in the house is one of the most bullshit things I've ever heard. Don't insult my intelligence.<br />
Emma telling Cameron he won the last Big Brother. He genuinely looked upset. Yes, genuine emotion at last !<br />
Was amazed Emma mentioned Davina and Brian at the end. Brian! First bit of respect he's been shown in a while.<br />
Oh Emma did actually look upset at the end there. When she said 'it's time for this house to find a new home' you can hear Gaz scream, haha. Apparently they're demolishing it this week. Rubbish.<br />
I feel they could have done more with the end. The voices bit is a good call back but could have gone on for a few more minutes.<br />
'Big Brother will get back to you' - well, you'd better. I had to cuddle several weeping grown men at that point, you don't know what you've done, Big Brother!<br />
I just watched a BBBOTS too and Emma and Rylan's emotions seemed very real. I actually blubbed. They are right that it seemed like the most Big Brother series for ages. The production values were on point, and the tasks were fantastic.<br />
I think you'll find BBBOTS was Russell Brand's baby though, let's be real. Big Mouth was so fucking good.<br />
Cameron in his BBBOTS interview on coming out: 'I couldn't have written it any better.' That's because you did write it, duh.<br />
Wow to Rylan saying 'Me, Marcus and Emma will make sure Big Brother will get back to you.' Strong words! Yet why all the tears then? It's hell to hope. <br />
So will I do with my evenings now? Wait for CBBUS? Watch old BBUKs (must be time to do a new 'Blast from the past' episode... even if it is BBUK4, eek)? Have a social life?<br />
To all my BB fam, I know we'll stay talking. I've genuinely made some of the best friends I have from people I've met, to people I haven't, who live an ocean away. It's the way we met and our common connection, but we will be friends regardless. We've been lucky to have the show for 18 years, nearly half my life. We'll be lucky if it comes back. And if it doesn't? We've got each other.<br />
<br />
-----<br />
<br />
PS: Keep listening to BB on Blast! We'll cover US and Canada. Send in any bbuk finale feedback to <a href="mailto:bbonblastpod@gmail.com">bbonblastpod@gmail.com</a> before Friday. Love you! <div class="blogger-post-footer"><script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://rpc.bloglines.com/blogroll?id=lightupvirginmary&target=http://lightupvirginmary.blogspot.com/"></script></div>lightupvirginmaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01371404648770257776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623527747238657704.post-60358598420318266642018-08-17T16:47:00.003+01:002018-08-17T16:47:37.538+01:00Celebrity Big Brother 2018: Launch and backstage goss!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Sorry there was no launch night blog or podcast, but we invited at the house yesterday so was a bit hard to blog from the crowd and we were too tired to podcast on the way home. So this blog will cover a bit of pre-show info, as well as my thoughts on the housemates.<br />
Once again, we were so lucky to be invited to the house with our fellow superfans. As usual I had actively avoided seeing house pics or housemate rumours so it was all a surprise to me on the day.<br />
This meant actually going into the house was quite disorientating as we weren't allowed into the living room or garden this time and the layout had changed quite a bit.<br />
The house looked divine though, very me, with lots of ornaments and chintzy rugs, plastic chandeliers etc (that's basically my house). The only other major change was the enclosed staircase. We didn't get to see the diary room this time, but when I saw the chair, I was pleased with it.<br />
We had a great time poking through the cupboards and taking loads of photos. There's a <a href="https://www.facebook.com/bbonblast/videos/270230360470765/" target="_blank">house tour video filmed by my podcast co-host Gaz here</a> where he explores every nook and cranny as well as tons of photos from the house <a href="https://www.facebook.com/270723766408426/posts/1096209983859796/" target="_blank">I took here</a> and <a href="https://www.facebook.com/270723766408426/posts/1096211993859595/" target="_blank">here</a>.<br />
Rylan was lovely as usual, taking group photos for us and posing for selfies (and also added us on Twitter, cheers!) They treat us very well when we're there - although where was the Prosecco this time? *insert Kim Woodburn waving a bottle here*.<br />
In the bar waiting to go in the launch, we got interviews with Chelsea Singh (I know, right) and Staci Francis (Gaz's doing) which will be on the next <a href="https://www.spreaker.com/user/lightupvm" target="_blank">BB on Blast podcast</a> (coming on Sunday!) And don't worry, we'll still be podding BBUS, too (I know all two of you were worried there).<br />
When we finally got in the audience we were in our usual spot, and only the superfans were allowed to tweet, not even the friends and fam (exciting). We were told jokingly this was because Twitter would dry up without us, haha.<br />
The set looked great outside, too, I loved all the neon and the cars driving the housemates in was decent, it just meant there was less room for the crowd. But it was a nice old skool touch. Seeing the same car reversing out of a very tight space for each housemate was quite funny, too.<br />
I will comment on my experience just from watching live, and then I will watch the show and comment on the housemates. My live observations were that Emma's hair looked more bonkers than ever and the drone is really fucking noisy and irritating.<br />
The friends and family interviews before we even had a chance to meet the housemates properly was unforgivable. The amount of time we saw housemates meet and greet each other was the shortest I've ever seen. I mean, that's a massive part of the joy isn't it, seeing these different characters come together and interact? Friends and families belong on BBBOTS. I do wonder whose idea this was and why it happened. It's missteps like this that make me think 'huh?' After being invited to the Q&A with the producers last week, who were extremely clued up and experienced about the show, it's quite baffling.<br />
OK, I'm going to watch the show now and see what I missed in the throng of the crowd! I heard there's a new theme tune! I'm nervous!<br />
Watching the intro package reminds me I had to stop Gaz from 'ooh oohing'. The title sequence and the set looks great on TV too, all the neon is very visual.<br />
It's funny in the script they still have all the references to fake news, the president etc which were obviously related to Stormy Daniels who never showed up. God bless 'em, they tried to cover it a bit but... not really.<br />
The house looks soooo much bigger on TV. The kitchen looked huge with Emma in it but it's quite poky in there. Weird the kitchen backs onto the bedroom, will no doubt cause some rows. Only one bedroom, too. It's funny seeing Emma pointing out things Gaz already pointed out on our house tour, haha. First!<br />
Emma: 'You've all seen the pictures.' I hadn't! (Bad superfan).<br />
Imagine if they had that lattice wall on BBUS! The whispering would have to turn up a knotch. Ooh, I like that mirror with the monkeys on. I love the colours in the garden and the living room, too. Blue and yellow reminds me of the splish splash room in BBUS, haha. Couch looks nice.<br />
The superfans were a bit torn on Emma popping up on the screen to evict people, but I don't care about that. We're used to it with Chenbot! The pool looks bigger than normal, at least you can do (short) laps.<br />
Emma's house tour seems long as fuck both IRL and on TV.<br />
I love the diary room corridor! So kitsch. I think this might be the most 'me' house ever. I would love to have sat in that DR chair! Looks so good.<br />
OK, onto the housemates. First up, <b>Kirstie Alley</b>. She used to be in Cheers. I barely remember that, but I remember her as an actress when she was younger. I hope her storyline goes beyond her weight. I think she should be quite a fiery character and she's a big booking. Shes not Stormy, but Big Brother will try and squeeze her into that role of 'don't fuck with me older lady' anyway, haha. Let's hope she's more Kim Woodburn than Ann Widdecombe. Oh who am I kidding, Ann was a great character, too.<br />
I liked Kirstie's pink shoes and purple coat. Definite Ursula from the Little Mermaid vibes. That's some big old hair she's got there. Nearly as big as Emma's.<br />
I'm not really a fan of the more jazz piano incidental music, to be honest, even though Gaz was digging it on the night. I don't like change!<br />
I do like the dynamic of them going down the corridor in complete silence and you can hear their thoughts there, too. Kirstie likes the house '1930s Hollywood, exquisite...'<br />
Then the stupid twist commenced (more of a waste of time on launch night when I want to get to know the housemates). So Kirstie because the BB President (isn't that someone on Twitter?) She's hoping she doesn't get assassinated.<br />
Hold on, the public had to vote based on Kirstie asking questions of the other housemates? I don't remember one question she asked! They showed fuck all from inside the house! Not much of a twist, as a new housemate will ask questions of other housemates anyway.<br />
Next in was Ryan Thomas aka Jason from Corrie. I always liked him in Corrie and I think he's probably a decent bloke. I could see him winning it. I do wish he'd sort his hair out though, it's gone a bit David Platt. Just let it go, Jason. Sorry, I won't call him Jason as it's confusing. His on-screen brother Todd (Bruno Langley) would be a better booking after he got sacked for groping women. I'd love to witness that mess of a redemption story.<br />
Ooh, in car footage! Cool.<br />
That was very smooth of him to say 'Look who's talking now' to Kirstie. He's done his research ala Perez.<br />
Next in is footballer <b>Jermaine Pennant</b>, a footballer and bad boy (aren't they the same thing?) He was charged with drink driving while banned from driving and went to prison for three months, then wore a tag on the pitch. He later crashed his car drink driving. Um, mate, stop drink driving! He'd never do it again. Of course he won't, not until the next time (bit of Morrissey for you there).<br />
Ah he got a couple of boos and now he is shook, lol. I booed him and the people in front of me looked upset but they weren’t with him. Drink driving is gross. Kill yourself by all means, but don't put others at risk. Also: no socks on. Wrong 'un.<br />
Had a strong Sezer-esque intro statement: 'Let the games begin.' Bhahahaha!<br />
Next in is <b>Chloe Ayling</b>, someone I predicted would go in the house about a month ago when I heard the theme was notorious people. She looked like Lauren Harries in silhouette. She basically got kidnapped and they tried to sell her on the dark web but no one believed her, they just thought she was a glamour girl and magazine dealer. To be honest, I saw her being interviewed and she didn't seem very plausible. But I think she's just one of these people that comes across a bit impassive, even when describing her own kidnapping ordeal. I like her, I think she's good casting. She seems sweet and a good fit for BB. Are people really moaning she's not a real celeb? Get in the sea. I like the 'scandal' type people.<br />
Chloe has a new twist on the boob laces, as pointed out by Gaz: the thigh lace. Sophisticated. Ooh they go up the side, too.<br />
Emma is doing the voiceover on these VTs like she's Trevor McDonald.<br />
I liked when she said she was 'looking forward to the tasks' - she must have heard Trevor Boris was coming. We've got a gamer on our hands here! Hold on, she's never seen an episode of Big Brother before?! Lies.<br />
Jermaine looked her up and down when she came in like a right lech.<br />
OMG next in was the Human Ken Doll! <b>Rodrigo</b>! And they played Flawless (absolutely flawless!) Many lols. He's my winner pick. He will be great TV. He is amazing to even look at. He doesn't even need to speak. How old is he?! He had four ribs removed so he looks better when wearing a blazer, ha (and he carries them round in a jar?!). He is a 'real person with emotions'. They just don't show on his face. If I'd put a bet on last night, I would have put an ill placed bet on him, just like I did with India. Omg look at his baby pink suit! Look at his frilly shirt! Look at his white hair! He said 'what a beautiful crowd' haha. Cheers mate. I like the fact he was boasting they'd been trying to get him on for years. I wonder what he looks like first thing in the morning. He likes to have his dinner at exactly 8.30. Maybe he likes to play HQ at 9. Going down the corridor he said 'what a crowd' (thanks again) and 'I need a drink'. I did too!<br />
Why so little footage on the housemates meeting and greeting each other? Did they run out of time? Did the house tour run too long? I don't get it. I know we'll see it tonight, but it's not the same.<br />
Next in is <b>Dan Osborne</b> from TOWIE (I thought he was from Hollyoaks) who left a voicemail for his ex (who he left when she was pregnant for Lauren from Eastenders) threatening to put her in hospital if she got a new boyfriend. I listened to it and it's terrifying. And I'm told not to boo? It's my legal right to boo this motherfucker. Then the plot thickens as he and Ryan have both dated the same person, this Gabby from Love Island (coming up next).<br />
Dan: 'Most people say things when they're angry.' Er, not that they don't. Just his smug face is already bugging me. He is an absolute cunt. He'll probably win. A vote for him is a vote for domestic violence as far as I'm concerned. Threats to kill a woman? No redemption story for him, thanks. Not on my watch.<br />
Ryan and Dan will be friends. In fact I could see all these guys in so far being bros.<br />
Next is <b>Gabby Allen</b> from Love Island. Do we have to put up with this Love Island detritus? Stay on your own show! We don't want you. She's whining about being cheated on. Well done, you're a human being. We've all been there. You're not relatable. Go away. Mind you, if that's the extent of the UK reality TV jetsam I can deal.<br />
OMG her suit as well. Disgusting. She looked like a pearly queen. Emma immediately slut shaming 'that is a very pretty bra'. Stop. Gabby is a huge 'health and fitness fan'. Yuck. She looks like a knob, I can see why she was attracted to Dan.<br />
Jermaine also eyeing her up like a piece of meat. Urgh, footballers.<br />
I had to take my headphones out for the friends and family bit, I can't watch that again. Who cares what the Poundland Andrew Brady thinks!? It actually makes me angry that we're denied first night footage (essentially live feed) for this sub-BOTS bollocks. And I had several voicemails saying the same!<br />
Emma looks like she's just going through the motions to me. I really wish Rylan was the main presenter. I want his BOTS enthusiasm and kindness to housemates on the main show.<br />
Then Emma tells us Kirstie is interviewing everyone in there... but doesn't show us it. Great.<br />
Next in is <b>Hardeep Singh Kohli</b>. I don't know who he is but sounds like he felt someone up. Let me investigate for one second. Oh, apparently he sexually harrassed a researcher. That's nice. Me too plus power dynamics. But he's a comedian! What if he's funny? We could have a new Jim Davidson on our hands, people. SIGH. 'It was a challenging time'. For her even more so, I'm sure.<br />
He’s interested in people. Too interested, apparently. he says, 'The BB house is a commune' and 'It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never gone in the CBB house.' Good soundbites, it's a shame he's a creep (at the very least). Also wearing a kilt. Cultural appropriation? Oh no, he's Scottish, haha.<br />
I like the fact he bored himself talking to Emma and then went 'blah, blah, blah.' Indeed.<br />
As he went in someone asked him 'what’s your name?' And he said, ‘Whatever you want it to be.’ He's been practising that one, along with 'Hardeep is your love.' Apparently 'it's an honour' to meet drink driving footballer Jermaine. Isn't it great how all your sins get written off if you can kick a ball? Must be nice.<br />
And if you thought he was trouble, you haven't met this full time DICKWAD from Married at First Sight yet. <b>Ben Jardine</b>. For my sins, I sat through the entire programme, and he never wanted to be married. I felt really sorry for her as she had feeling for him and he cheated on her AFTER A WEEK. He is the biggest magazine dealer on the planet and talks like a high pitched Danny Dyer without the wit. Yes, imagine that. Even his face is annoying.<br />
He said his former 'wife' ‘kiss and telled on me’. So he's a moron, as well as a twat. I did enjoy, 'I’m not a love rat, I’m a love mouse’ though. His 'scared of living with 12 strangers instead of one’ line was good, what cue card did he read that off? I do like his shirt though. He feels 'judged' by Emma. It's OK, you're a man, you'll be alright. Ben 'Let's Carpe Diem this shit.' God, I hate him. Argh, his voice!<br />
The show was kind of downhill from here (except for Natalie), with <b>Roxanne </b>from Emmerdale (me neither) who is a potential fencesitter, so I'm told. Apparently she had an argument with Jason Gardiner on This Morning cos he called her bland. That's not a good sign. I guess it's a good sign she argued against it.<br />
She was in a car crash (so what?) and is engaged (zzz). I like her fringe. When she 'unravels' it's like 'Disney gone wrong.' Did some odd high kicks as she went in.<br />
She appeared to have some dust/ cocaine on her boobs going down the stairs which she then licked off. That was quite amusing. Does she think there's no camera in that bit? She doesn't drink. I'm always suspicious of that, ha.<br />
After that we got 'psychic' <b>Sally</b> (come back Derek Acorah) from whom we can expect ‘honesty fun and ghosts’. I like the fact she took her heels off to go down stairs. I liked her weight loss joke about being a medium. You ARE a liar, though. She says someone's about to walk! Let's see if that's true.<br />
Now we have who should have gone in last, <b>Natalie Munn</b>. I didn't know the name, but I recognised her from marriage boot camp. We were stood behind her friends who made us vote for her for vice president. I wanted to vote for human Ken doll (HKD).<br />
Natalie is a self proclaimed queen, who said 'If u don’t like it turn the channel' I like her crown and feathers. She's like a more messy Ika - and if we can get Natalie, why not Ika or Omarosa? Good TV is good TV, who cares how famous they are? She enjoys a Twitter beef and told Paris Hilton to 'eat her pussy.' She takes a shower and brushes her teeth in the morning, so that's good to know. <br />
Emma goes to her, ‘You know in Britain were more reserved.’ This is why I don’t like Emma - why say that to a messy housemate? We want the mess! Came out to Aretha Franklin which may have been a bit much for some tastes (RIP).<br />
It's funny because I like the American scripted reality people, but I hate the UK scripted reality people!<br />
Oh Paul Oakenfold remixed the theme tune. I still hate it. He must be about 60 now, ha.<br />
And finally we get <b>Nick Leeson</b> (a dead ringer for James Whale - James Fail?) who made a bank collapse, losing 800 million quid. I vaguely remember the story from when I was a kid, but really WHO CARES? Chloe was kidnapped and put in a bag. This guy is dry as toast. His interview with Emma was PAINFUL. He has lots of stories to tell. Thankfully, they'll never make the edit. Fair enough, be notorious, but at least be INTERESTING! We were nearly falling asleep in the crowd so God knows how you felt at home.<br />
We were crying out for Stormy at this point. Did this guy replace her? I'd love to know who was the late entry.<br />
And then back to this dumb twist. The BB President (shout out) will have (Stormy's) private residence and can go in the garden. Great.<br />
Then we got to vote on the app with zero information about what Kirstie actually found out about them, plus no footage of them, so the public just voted for arguably the most famous (in this country), Ryan. Well, that's going to make for a dull week.<br />
And that was about that. Overall, I think it's a good mix of housemates. They might not be big names but there are people to hate without them being too annoying, and some quirky characters. There's not tons of deadwood. I'm cautiously optimistic.<br />
Thanks again to Big Brother for the invite and check out our podcast on Sunday! Thanks for reading.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://rpc.bloglines.com/blogroll?id=lightupvirginmary&target=http://lightupvirginmary.blogspot.com/"></script></div>lightupvirginmaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01371404648770257776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623527747238657704.post-63941170477125005252018-03-08T00:29:00.002+00:002018-03-08T13:22:24.223+00:00Review: Save MeIt's been a long time since I've been inspired to write a blog (or anything, to be honest) out of nowhere, so cheers Lennie James. The only decent thing I've watched recently was also on Sky Atlantic (and was also available in one long binge), which was Tin Star, with the amazing Tim Roth. And I didn't write a blog about that. But I literally just finished watching Save Me and have not read a thing about it, so here are my pure thoughts.<br />
Save Me had something special. Firstly, do not read this blog if you haven't seen it, because it's really fucking good and the less you know, the better.<br />
At first glance from the advert I thought, oh a drama starring Lennie James (of Snatch and Walking Dead fame) and Suranne Jones (of Corrie and Doctor Foster) about a missing girl, that could be worth a watch as they're both good actors. I was totally off with my idea of what I thought it would be and what it was.<br />
I watched the first one and was gripped. It was a combination of things, the acting, the characters, the world Lennie James had created (did I mention he wrote it, too?) It felt truly like a story about Londoners, about real people.<br />
Lennie James's character is very interesting, a man about town, sleeping with half his tower block. I love the iconic yellow coat he wears throughout; something about it just adds to his quirkiness and charm (and when they give him the yellow snooker ball... fucking hell). I've been looking to invest in a mustard coat all winter, and in swaggers Lennie James with all the panache in his yellow bomber jacket, while I'm already moving onto 'spring jacket' territory (well, hoping to). His character is charming, a wide boy, a user... and feels really real. It feels like he's based on a real person.<br />
We're first introduced to Lennie's through his various women, but Suranne Jones doesn't feature for quite a while, until her daughter goes missing, and the police arrest Lennie (well, Nelly as he's called in the show).<br />
When they are together on screen, they are fantastic - in fact every character in it is a brilliant actor and unique. What is going on with Nelly and the woman behind the bar? Did the Avon deliveries ever get done in the end? What were those mysterious caramel eggs and where can I buy them? (Serious echos of the yellow pool ball there... a LITERAL Easter egg, as much as I usually hate that expression when used about secret clues/ codes in films or programmes - although I fucking love real easter eggs, obviously.)<br />
Talking of shows with 'easter eggs' how can Lennie show up for work as Morgan on The Walking Dead and read out those drossy lines and scripts and play the wooden character he's become. I can only guess he must be getting a huge paycheck he must be getting for Fear The Walking Dead (Is that even what it's called?! I think he called it Fear Of The Walking Dead on The Talking Dead, ha) And that huge paycheck went towards making this brilliant series. Scott M Gimple, read Save Me's screenplay and go take a long hard look in the mirror, mate.<br />
I digress. There are too many characters to delve into (this is how you do an ensemble cast, The Walking Dead) but one of the most intriguing was Nelly's paedophile mate, who Nelly has to use to try and find his daughter. Their relationship (and the relationship between the paedophile mate and his younger girlfriend) was so compelling. When Nelly has to go to the paedo club to try and track down his daughter, you can feel the disgust in the air, yet his friend is on his own turf, conflicted, but tempted. It is horrific to watch, and fascinating. I would love to know where their friendship stood at the end. It seemed to me Nelly actually did care for him, and his relationship. I mean, that's pretty brave, to have a paedophile as a character you (almost) want to root for, who is helping someone find his daughter... but also capitalising on the situation by getting to 'do stuff' (barely, as he said) with young girls... that is dark, and that is very, very interesting. It's something you don't see very often as most shows wouldn't touch it.<br />
So many more interesting sub plots and characters; the transvestite/ drag queen neighbour, the indie kids, the paedo drug owner, Nelly's various bits on the side... just so good. Some of Nelly's speeches were so powerful, even his ringtone was a character - 'you what, you what, you what' - and if you're not answering your phone with 'who dis?' from now on, why not?<br />
This is the first thing I've watched in over a year that made my put my phone down, and that in the final half an hour had my heart beating through my chest (only Big Brother US HOH competitions and Breaking Bad's last series have done that to me in the last five years).<br />
Which brings us to the ending. I was so hoping for the ending I wanted, I could see it in my head, the rescue mission, the reuniting. Of course, I suspected it wouldn't be that easy, or that schmaltzy for a show that had been pretty gritty. When Suranne Jones' character Claire nearly gets raped by the indie kid trying to get information out of him and ends up nearly raping HIM, I was on the edge of my seat. When Nelly was at the auction to buy his daughter and Adrian fucking Edmonson was the auctioneer, I was gripped. But when he found her... I knew it wasn't her straight away! Why didn't he! And then I got scared. I got scared when I typed 'save me' as a hashtag and 'save me ending' was the first thing that came up. I got scared we were going into dream sequence territory. Or that he was going to be talking to a dead body. And I didn't like the little flashback things. It felt cheap. It felt Walking Dead. And it felt like it was setting up series two.<br />
The music playing at the end was perfect though, something it also had in common with Tin Star.<br />
And like Tin Star, this would have been SO GOOD as a one off series. That last episode of Tin Star also went off the rails, although way worse than this.<br />
So what happened? Obviously Sky Atlantic wanted to do another series. I don't blame them, with such an excellent cast and fantastic writing. But it leaves us unsatisfied, and after such a thrill ride, we deserved a pay off, be it good or bad. It felt too much like bait and switch, and was not in keeping with the integrity of the rest of the show. But on the whole, it was NEARLY perfect. It was 9/10.<br />
Will I be watching series two? Of course I will! I'd watch it right now if I could! Who dis?<br />
It's Lennie fucking James and he's a legend.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://rpc.bloglines.com/blogroll?id=lightupvirginmary&target=http://lightupvirginmary.blogspot.com/"></script></div>lightupvirginmaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01371404648770257776noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623527747238657704.post-76378886511955598202018-02-01T22:12:00.001+00:002018-02-01T22:12:52.707+00:00Celebrity Big Brother 2018: Feel good finale eve!So I kind of gave up blogging this series because it went a bit quiet and <a href="https://www.spreaker.com/user/lightupvm" target="_blank">podcasting for three plus hours a week</a> felt like enough. But I wanted to do a general overview and final blog.<br />
I have really enjoyed the series and the casting was good on the whole. The triple eviction of Andrew, Dapper and Jonny was really stupid and made the final week a lot duller. To give one side power, have four up and kick three out is not good (quick) maths. I really misssed Andrew as a character (although I've heard we'll see him tonight - mixed feelings on that) and I thought the way Emma treated him in his interview was so disproportionate to what he actually did (called Ann a cunt - which she is) that it was offensive in itself. The fact that Daniel came out and didn't get pulled up on his continuous casual sexism (probably because he was going to propose to his girlfriend) was disappointing yet entirely predictable. I personally thought Andrew was spot on with what he said to Ann and with her 'protector of the unborn' crap last night, that was the final nail in her coffin for me. Do what you want with your withered womb Ann, but don't tell me what to do with mine. Ever.<br />
As we predicted. Ann vs Courtney has become the story of the final week, and will be the the story of the final, with the result shining a light on us as a nation. Are we going to tolerate (and reward) the intolerant? My fear is that the answer is yes. Please say it aint so. Yet, Jim Davidson. <br />
So in tonight's episode all the old housemates are coming back, which is fine and will be entertaining, and I'm here for it... as long as it doesn't blow up Shane/Courtney's game.<br />
Ginuwine is waking up the housemates, as opposed to putting them to sleep for once.<br />
Where did these strippers come from! Wayne grabbing his crotch I can live without, although I do like Wayne (especially when he's drunk). I hope one of the strippers sits on Ann's lap.<br />
Wayne after Ann scarpered: 'Ann is such a spoilsport but more for us.' Ha!<br />
Male strippers are so gross. I couldn't look at them first thing in the morning either, to be honest. But I would... just because it was something new to look at.<br />
John 'kick them out of the club' Barnes is now making Ann and Jess play football. That is a bad punishment. Sports bra needed for Ann, please. I put a sports bra on to play Just Dance earlier. You gotta keep those boobs in check.<br />
I really HATE Ann talking to the camera. She's no Dan Gheesling and it's such an airtime grab. Just cos she can't interact with human housemates. She is a true gamer, which I don't mind, it's just her odious views she can keep.<br />
India is reading the CBB news. I like her haircut. Fun watching them show Courtney's (fake) fall going in. You can tell it was fake because Shane J didn't look appalled, but who cares if it was fake? (Yeah, fuck off Amanda). It was hilarious. I like them watching clips of themselves. Shane L making a sandwich is literally his highlight of the series.<br />
Amanda bathing Wayne, ha! Jess's 'cucumbers have salmonella' crap was the fakest shit I've ever seen (even though apparently it was true, I don't believe it). Also, Jess should have spoken up for herself yesterday when they were talking about sex on TV. Instead she sold her mates out. Not cool.<br />
Ha, they are showing Dapper's proposal (one of the most cringe TV moments of the year so far... one step up from getting engaged on The Jeremy Kyle show).<br />
India is summarising them all at the end. Said Shane J could risk 'becoming preachy'. Leave him alone. Watching Shane J get ostracised over the past week has been hard to watch as his heart is in the right place. Unlike someone in there who doesn't have one.<br />
India mentioning her gender to Ann, ha. Ha, Ann throwing shade at India saying the public wasn't behind her. Then saying 'thank heavens the public don't have gender dysmorphia.' Oh dear.<br />
Ann: 'India has a persecution complex.' That could be partly true but I still think she was a great housemate.<br />
Dapper is now talking to the house. How is Jess so good at the 'yes/no' game when she's so 'dumb', hmm? I'm crap at it.<br />
Shane J is soooo happy to see Daniel, aw! Shane J would like a night with Andrew where he couldn't talk. Me too!<br />
I love Andrew talking from the memory wall, that's proper Tree of Temptation territory. My heart actually soared. It was proper Big Brother magic there. Like William going down the tunnel or Surly in the fishtank. It was such a good idea.<br />
Wayne thinking Courtney was kissing Andrew's picture on the wall was so cute. I saw on Twitter Andrew gave Ann the finger when she walked past but I missed it! Legend.<br />
Ha, Courtney confessing her 'love' for Andrew to Jess and then 'flirting with Wayne'. She looks ten foot taller than him.<br />
Shane J then has to get Ann to try on one of her wigs. Haaa to Andrew giving it the thumbs up in the background! I wish Ann had seen it. Courtney; 'I don't think it's you' to Ann. Lolllllll. I'll say.<br />
Wayne and Courtney are both dressed quite gaudily and similarly!<br />
Andrew looks the best I've ever seen him inside the wall and he's coming across the nicest he ever has. Plus he's not had a go at Ann yet. Oh hold on, 'You smashed it, every single one of you. Even you, Ann.' Great passive aggressive stuff there! Just the right tone.<br />
Oh no, they're making Rachel rap again. Why! 'Shane L did all the cooking but did you ever open your mouth' was a good line, though.<br />
Ah all the old housemates coming back in. India: 'Ann, we will have a hug.' Jess sobbing to see Ashley! Why!<br />
Aw the boys are in the hot tub! That's really cute actually. Another good idea from the task team. Ahhh Andrew's hug and kiss for Courtney brought a tear to my eye. Love them!<br />
The housemates must be getting sooooo much info from this lot. This is why we don't have nice things - I mean live feed.<br />
India is like the ghost at the feast, ha. She's counselling Courtney, bloody hell. Her advice is actually good. 'Your work is done' to Courtney. That seemed pretty genuine. Courtney looks stunning tonight.<br />
India to Andrew and Courtney: 'Love comes in many forms.' True. Andrew, India and Courtney 'would be the craziest threesome in the world.' I liked India's 'I'm not being the jam in your sandwich, though.'<br />
Rachel is trying to get the goss out of Andrew and Shane. Rachel saying Andrew's sign to Shane 'broke the internet.' Stop, Rachel. You're too old for memes.<br />
What is this fake ass crap between Ashley and Ginuwine. Way to ruin my buzz. Scripted or what? Have they not spoken since they've been in the outside world?! Take your fake shit back to Made in Chelsea, bitch. <br />
Courtney and Andrew in the loo. Andrew is DEFINITELY getting a blowjob tomorrow night. His goodbye to Courtney: 'You are the most amazing thing I've met.' Thing! I have to hand it to him though, he didn't go in and tear into Ann. Much as I'd have liked to see it, it was best for Courtney's game that he didn't.<br />
Malika going 'just win' to Courtney, aw.<br />
Aw that was cute when the old housemates were at the top of the stairs. What a feel good episode! I wasn't expecting it, especially since this week has been a bit flat. Bringing the old housemates back could have easily gone another way, so well done to Ted (aka the producers) for keeping it light. We've had enough debates to last us the whole of 2018.<br />
BB on Blast listeners, please give Shane J a vote! See you for Celebrity Big Brother US, which starts on 7th February. If you've never watched a BBUS this could be a good introduction to it. Enjoy the final, thanks for reading.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://rpc.bloglines.com/blogroll?id=lightupvirginmary&target=http://lightupvirginmary.blogspot.com/"></script></div>lightupvirginmaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01371404648770257776noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623527747238657704.post-15224777656847574132018-01-11T22:17:00.001+00:002018-01-11T22:17:18.740+00:00Celebrity Big Brother 2018: Playing the victim for strategyTask! Is this the first proper task? They have dressed them all up like Stepford wives and 50s husbands and the men have to go work in the factory. Looks like they've had a proper makeover. Hmm. Outside contact?!<br />
The women are waiting on the men and cooking them breakfast.<br />
BUT THE REAL TASK IS. The women have to work in the factory too and beat the men. They seem quite happy about it, even Ann!<br />
I'm not really paying attention to this task. Do they girls have an advantage because they know they're in competition with the boys?<br />
The task is OK to watch not very good to blog about. Everyone is raving about it but I'm like 'meh'. My standard is people hanging off a wall on BBUS. Courtney is given a cue card (I imagine) saying 'What do you think about Donald Trump's locker room talk?' Andrew's obviously been given another cue card saying he has to say 'allegedly' before he says anything about Harvey Weinstein. Sigh. 'Innocent until proven guilty!' Tell that to Jimmy Saville.<br />
Ginuwine is saying women might be making up some of the claims. Courtney is there to set him straight: 'The statistic of people misreporting sex crimes is very small. That's blaming the victim.' Oh my God, I love her so much. She is one of the only people on Big Brother that I not only enjoy watching, but that I'd also love to be friends with. I feel like I'd learn such a lot, and also have a bloody great time. He/she HAS to win.<br />
Ashley is apologising to India for something. I don't know what for. I blinked and missed it.<br />
Amanda: 'India's playing the victim is a strategy.' India: 'Where did that come from?' Where indeed! Who grassed up India? I think she was talking to Dapper about playing up her role, wasn't she? Snitch!<br />
All the boys came back into the house and the women pretended they cleaned it, but were thwarted by Shane/ Courtney's questions about extension cords and the length of the cord. He wanted to know ALL the details. Jess is not a very good liar. Thwarted!<br />
Ashley talking about women messing with the milkman back in the day. Ashley: 'Just so you know, I don't cheat.' Ginuwine: 'I've got more than enough for you.' Yuck.<br />
Maggie is trying to get the dirt: 'You two look very cosy.' Ashley: 'I hug everyone.' Bitch, please.<br />
They are now recycling stuff. Topical. Ooglies! Wayne Sleep is channeling Leslie Jordan with those glasses. 'Get the fuck outta here!' I like Wayne Sleep though! He seems sweet.<br />
Dapper: 'Do you have feelings for Ashley?' Ginuwine: *laughing* 'I don't even know her.' Nice. Dapper has a great way of bringing out the worst in the men. Also, I don't want to look at his bum crack.<br />
The men are talking about shaving their pubes. Wayne is interested in doing it cos it makes your dick look bigger. Thanks for that image, Wayne. Men who shave their pubes are girls. I'm not a fan.<br />
Shane L is talking about Stephen Gately's coming out story. Poor Steo. RIP.<br />
Did I really just heard Andrew from the Apprentice use the term 'cis women'? I have officially seen it all. That is some futuristic shit. I think I have only ever read that online (oh no, we did discuss it in my office actually). Andrew is discussing vaginas with India. India chose hers from a book.<br />
Malika says Jonny has come out of his shell. But Ashley knows what the British crowd are like, and we like the drama of India. Malika doesn't have a clue how this show works! She'll get a shock when someone gets booed to hell and then stays and the winner gets booed. That's how it works in Borehamwood. We keep you on your toes.<br />
Andrew likes a bit of lip, a bit of labia on the vagina. Not good news for Courtney, as hers is made of masking tape.<br />
The boys think Ashley and Ginuwine are going to kiss tonight. But they have to say it in such a laddy, horrible way.<br />
Interesting that India said she likes Ashley and that Ashley 'is patient with her.' I wouldn't like to have a personality where people had to be patient with me.<br />
India is regretting going on about gender too much. India is gaming now. I love it. India is in full game mode. 'Everyone is banking on me going out.. but maybe there's still time.' YES. India must stay. What is Jonny doing? Smiling and dribbling?<br />
Ashley is perving on Ginuwine through the bedroom window and he's beckoning her into bed. But she didn't go. Their relationship is quite old skool Big Brother as well, it's very slow moving, but the difference is, I don't care what happens as I don't care about either of them. I don't hate them, I'm just blah on them. BLAH.<br />
New BBonBlast coming tomorrow night! If you like the podcast SAVE INDIA. Cheers!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://rpc.bloglines.com/blogroll?id=lightupvirginmary&target=http://lightupvirginmary.blogspot.com/"></script></div>lightupvirginmaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01371404648770257776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623527747238657704.post-10335219017636622012018-01-10T22:13:00.001+00:002018-01-10T22:13:14.743+00:00Celebrity Big Brother 2018: I straddle the gender divideI just noticed for the first time Marcus not saying 'day 8'! That is odd. Bit I only just noticed. So how odd is it?<br />
Who are Wayne and Maggie mad about? India? I enjoyed them bitching about people 'holding court.'<br />
Racism talk! John is right, they wouldn't put 'white' in front of the word 'paedophile gang.' Interesting to hear about the press regulations.<br />
Malika from KUWTK giving Ann Widdecome a haircut. Whatever next!<br />
Marcus: 'India is bringing the conversation back to her favourite subject - herself.' SHADE.<br />
India is annoyed that men would feel more comfortable flirting with Shane/ Courtney. The Shane's saying 'it's your attitude' to her. Shane/ Courtney is very astute to say it's not coming across well to us at home too.<br />
Shane L: 'Don't be angerfied.' To be sure.<br />
Ann's haircut looks great! I like Ann's pride about her thick hair and hair colour. Not so sure about her make up though. She looks like she has pink eye. Can't they do her some smoky eye!<br />
Ahhh Ann was happy to get wolf whistled therefore good looking girls who get harassed daily should be OK with it. Ann saying women are easily offended and po faced. Yes, we know you are, Ann.<br />
Ginuwine mentioning his name is Elgin Lumpkin. I already knew that! I have a Ginuwine fan in my office.<br />
Secret mission! Malika is on a task to do some things. Swap beds, give compliments, play pranks. Yes as usual, I wasn't listening, ha. Someone won some shortbread.<br />
Ginuwine and Ashley might be my least favourite showmance ever. Stone cold.<br />
Ann prefers Shane as Shane. She thinks Courtney is a tart! Courtney: 'I straddle the gender divide.' Ann: 'Courtney is a tramp.' Poor Courtney! Don't let her get abused like that, Shane! Stick up for yourself, ha.<br />
Ginuwine asking Wayne when he came out 'as it was hard back then.' Wayne didn't want to come out while his mum was alive. It's nice Ginuwine is taking an interest. Not good at pretending he knows who Queen is, though. Americans are always flossing their teeth!<br />
Wayne is doing his jungle tales. Wayne thinks Big Brother is tougher than the jungle. He said, at least in the jungle you see Ant and Dec every morning. I could like without that, to be honest. Wayne got annoyed because Rachel got distracted while talking to him and he wanted the attention, ha. Rachel is kind of annoying. She's in the middle of every fucking thing.<br />
At least they're racing through the face to face noms. The editing has been really good this year, they're not treating us like memory-less five year olds.<br />
Why did Ann nominate Andrew! I thought she liked him, Maybe she finds him flirting with her a bit cringy. Ann actually looks good in the red, sparkly dress. She scrubs up reasonably!<br />
Ann: 'I hope India goes and not you' to Jonny, ha. 'You weren't even on my radar.'<br />
Courtney: 'Are you going for redemption or panto villian?' to India. They edited that from yesterday and actually made India look a bit better as India said she was going to wage war.<br />
Dapper pointing out that the crowd didn't like India. I don't like India's pearly lipstick. I hate glossy lipstick! Keep it matte.<br />
Courtney asking Malika if she would be OK going out with a guy who has slept with men. She said no. I guess bisexual men should be pleased when they get a girlfriend who doesn't mind (ie. me!)<br />
Andrew and Ashley are bitching about India having a go at Ginuwine.<br />
Courtney had a threesome with two girls who were lesbians. How does that work!<br />
Dressing gown watch: I like Maggie's dressing gown and India's dressing gown.<br />
India has actually taken being nominated pretty well. I would not have called it. India: 'What do the people who push the numbers want to see?' I want to see more India. India: 'People have done very well out of that.' GAMER!<br />
Malika says India is a ticking time bomb on the sofa. Doesn't seem that way to me, but I've only seen about three minutes of it, I guess.<br />
Rachel is sorry for giving a stupid reason for nominating Jonny (because she fancies him). She's planning on getting off with him in the toilet ha.<br />
Ashley is washing Ginuwine's clothes. 'I nearly folded them and thought I'm not his wife... yet.' No, but you could be his next babymomma. Give it a week.<br />
I saw this sexual harassment chat on the live feed. Malika was making some good points. John: 'Men haven't got worse, women are just not accepting the behaviour.' Interesting.<br />
Dapper bringing it back to the men like the little misogynistic prick he is.<br />
Courtney is so smart. I love her challenging Dapper's stupid views. 'It's not just about intent... a woman can't go up to men and challenge them.' Dapper thinks men would be all cool with it. What would actually happen is instead of them wolf whistling you, they'd call you a frigid or an ugly fat bitch.<br />
Jess and Ashley are pissed in the bath talking shit. I don't know what the fuck they're on about. Secret code? Look at that glittery, smoky eyeshadow on Jess. Christmas is over!<br />
Andrew likes flirting with Courtney. Maybe she can help him come out. Dapper's stories whenever they show Ashley and Ginuwine holding hands are so awful. I would vote him out in two seconds flat if I was in there. I can't believe he didn't get one vote!<br />
Jonny telling Courtney to 'break Andrew's metaphorical walls down.' I think it might go a bit further than that. I hope it does! Mantub redux! Dragtub!<br />
Courtney didn't think she'd be friends with the laddy lads. She probably wouldn't be if she heard the way they talk in private.<br />
I'm still really enjoying CBB. It just feels so fresh this year. I don't want it to end! And BOTS on straight after? It's almost like someone who cares about the show is making the show again!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://rpc.bloglines.com/blogroll?id=lightupvirginmary&target=http://lightupvirginmary.blogspot.com/"></script></div>lightupvirginmaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01371404648770257776noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623527747238657704.post-32009991236654311592018-01-09T22:41:00.002+00:002018-01-09T22:41:10.747+00:00Celebrity Big Brother 2018: 'Go back to Love Island'My friend whose girlfriend is trans told me today that her girlfriend and other trans people she knows are getting more abuse (than usual) because of India being in Big Brother. She said, (and I don't think she'll mind me quoting this part): "It's deepening the divide between binary and nb trans people, and between the trans and drag communities." You open the trapdoor to the bigots, and they take it onto the streets. Scary when it's a real person, my friend's real girlfriend, and not just a TV character, isn't it? Scary when you say something awful on Twitter and see others say it on Twitter, you then think it's OK to shout it at someone in the street. This is people's reality, not a scene on a show.<br />
Which brings us onto the face to face nominations, in which every person will nominate India. I actually wish she was immune because I don't want her to go out first, even though she gets on my nerves. I just can't bear the booing.<br />
That background version of the Big Brother music still sends a shiver down my spine, unlike those idiots going 'woo woo' who need slapping. I like Emma's pink coat.<br />
Only the women can vote... but they can vote for each other. And they will. Ann will delight in nominating two women.<br />
I wish Big Brother would stop showing this same old conversation. There must be some other shit happening in the house.<br />
Shane/ Courtney says newly trans people go through a short of adolescence. I can see that.<br />
John Barnes gets what India is scared of - the same thing I've been saying all week! Who'd have thought it, a thoughtful footballer! *Mind blown*<br />
Shane is doing the Boyzone files. Ronan thinks he's is clearly a cut above the others. I despise Ronan Keating. I haven't a strong idea of what I really think about Shane L yet. He seems a decent bloke so far.<br />
Ginuwine says Ashley is going to come to the states and see him. That was fast work! 'You might find us kissing in the spa... who knows.' Hope not.<br />
Ann is talking to Rachel about why Boris withdrew from being Conservative leader. Apparently it was because there wasn't many people backing him (or as Gaz just said, in rather a good tweet, even I must admit, Boris's alliance didn't have the numbers). Rachel gave something away there... that Boris is not really chaotic. You don't say! It's all an act.<br />
Dapper 'If you had to pick one of the girls to hook up with for one night, who would you? Ashley knows how to handle herself.' Andrew: 'They're all fit, I'd bang them all, but why just for one night?' Prince Charming, is that you? Dapper needs to 'recover afterwards.' In your fucking dreams, mate. Reminiscent of 'Absolutely fantastic' Ash's 'slutbuckets' chat with Marlon. YEAR OF THE WOMAN.<br />
Dapper is telling a story about his crappy horror film 'Fanged up' but we're only hearing about it because Ashley and Ginuwine are holding hands during it. They have about as much chemistry as Peter and Toyah in Corrie.<br />
Jonny wearing a onesie covered in birdshit there. Have to bring back eek or chic for that one.<br />
Rachel doesn't want to leave her bed for Ginuwine and is being accused of 'cockblocking.' I prefer to think of it as keeping the population down.<br />
Ann Widdecome thinks Meghan Markle is trouble. Is it because she is black? Yes. Meghan Markle seems nothing but lovely. Not compliant enough for you, Ann? Own career! Scary! Oh strong woman! Not a little mouse like Kate.<br />
Courtney's balls are tucked up inside! John Barnes and Shane L aren't impressed. 'my balls wouldn't go inside' says John, ha.<br />
Ashley has put eye make up on Ann! She looks nice! I likes Ashley saying 'should I tone it down?' even though there's none on there. That was considerate.<br />
Even John Barnes has to ask Courtney if he wants to be a woman! See, people are so confused. Big Brother is educating people. I love 'it's a rich tapestry.'<br />
TALENT SHOW TIME. Shane's singing is fucking dreadful. I can sing better than that. The women crying at it! It was shit!<br />
Malika looks like she's had botox in the house. Outside contact!<br />
Andrew did juggling cos he has no talent. I like them playing John's song. They should have got him to sing it. OMG he's actually rapping to it. Karaoke classic. John is in his element. I love what I've seen of him so far.<br />
Jonny is chatting people up as a talent. Is that a talent? Actually, it can be. But not in this instance.<br />
Tap dancing. Oh Lord, Dapper's stand up comedy. I'm not calling him Daniel anymore as he's clearly just Dapper. Are his jokes written down? Writing materials! And he slutshamed Ashley!<br />
Andrew on Ginuwine: 'He's got 9 kids, he doesn't wear condoms.' Yuck.<br />
Courtney's song was great. I LOVE her outfit. I can see the Kylie Minogue thing now. India and Ann's faces: standard. BODY PARTS!<br />
Ginuwine is singing his song Pony, which is aptly named. Crap!<br />
LOL Malika voted for Shane L to win the talent show. Pity vote! Courtney was the clear winner. Ashley being her usual do-gooding self and voting for Dapper after he slutshamed her. Dumbo!<br />
Ann nominated Wayne, ha. Old people's entertainment. Pity votes for Jonny, too, as he has no talent. Good of India to nominate Courtney. True gaming! Ah but she wrote 'Shane' on the board and not Courtney! Courtney does not miss a trick. 'People are feeling eggshelly. Drag-queen-o-phobia.' Great turns of phrases! Went to bet on her today, but the odds were no good. She was favourite to win. Remember when I put that bet on India! Oops.<br />
Courtney is showing India her chicken fillets and her gloves with nails. Gloves with nails! I could see them on Dragon's Den.<br />
Ginuwine is regaling Ashley with his showbiz tales of nearly ponying Janet Jackson.<br />
Dapper thought Courtney was a woman when she came in. Did he just say, 'I could have fucked it!' I can't rewind it right now! Courtney's pink wig is gorgeous.<br />
I think Ginuwine must smell really great because I don't see the appeal myself. And I'm sure he won't mind me saying, as he did about India, ha.<br />
Do women REALLY get offended by men opening doors for them? Let's see... I'm a woman... I'm a feminist... no, we don't. Urban myth!<br />
Courtney in the hot tub in her earrings and wig! Love it.<br />
Dapper is nervous about the first eviction. I hope he should be.<br />
India is worried about 'the coven of witches' nominating her. But then said 'Bring on the real Big Brother where the knives come out... bring it on.'<br />
OK then!<br />
Emma is talking to the house. Nice to see them all dressed up for once!<br />
The women are now losing control and the sexes will battle for power. HOH!<br />
Emma is in the house. I bet the women turn on each other. Cannibalism time! Ah, those gold bubble envelopes. 10 for £1 in Poundland.<br />
Emma enforcing the rules and chatting to them. The rules don't seem that hard tbh. Two pics in the envelope. Get on with it.<br />
Malika nominated Andrew for not cleaning the toilet even though he's not the 'toilet person.'<br />
Ann saying Malika's reason for nominating her wasn't valid 'because they're torturing her.' Fuck off Ann. You don't want to know the real reason.<br />
Rachel nominated India and Johnny for being good looking. India nominated India and Johnny because of something in the outside. Don't think that should be allowed. The crowd are cheering when India gets nominated. Yuck.<br />
India nominated Ann for not taking part in the tasks and Ginuwine because he doesn't fancy her, basically.<br />
Amanda also nominated Jonny for being 'on the outside edge of the group' and said 'Go back to Love Island.' Best words ever said in the house. Love Island-ist! And Amanda nommed India.<br />
And Maggie nommed India about the beds. And Maggie nommed Jonny. What's Jonny done to deserve it! He seems OK. Pointless, but OK.<br />
Jess nominated India for 'not respecting her elders' and Ann. Why is Jess talking so fast?<br />
Ann nominated India for causing too many rows and Andrew for being laddish. I thought she was sweet on Andrew! That didn't last long.<br />
It's good no one is being evicted until Friday. We're definitely getting our money's worth from the housemates.<br />
The housemates up are India and Johnny in a head to head! OMG. I love a good face off. I hate it when there's twenty odd up.<br />
Ooooh! That little snippet of Courtney saying to India 'are you going to be the panto villain now' because India said it was easy to nominate. Just five seconds and there's so much there! Delicious.<br />
I liked the way Emma said 'thanks for watching and have a good night' at the end. It made me feel like the night wasn't over. But is basically is.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://rpc.bloglines.com/blogroll?id=lightupvirginmary&target=http://lightupvirginmary.blogspot.com/"></script></div>lightupvirginmaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01371404648770257776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623527747238657704.post-39841902045776162018-01-08T22:22:00.001+00:002018-01-08T22:22:46.661+00:00Celebrity Big Brother 2018: You were attracted to a Dalek?We did an <a href="https://www.spreaker.com/user/lightupvm/celebrity-big-brother-2018-gendertainmen" target="_blank">epic podcast</a> last night, woo. Check it out if you have a spare three hours. Yes, three hours.<br />
I think I might be getting a bit sick of gender talk now. Can we have some other storylines please? But that might be because I talked about it for three hours, right.<br />
India and John are talking about guys coming out in football. That's why I don't like football. It closets people. India is living in la la land if she thinks a gay footballer will get a standing ovation.<br />
Andrew calling gay people 'weak' basically saying being gay could be considered a sign of weakness? Why! Are gay players not going to be able to kick straight? Are women footballers too busy doing their hair?<br />
I like Shane (Courtney's) sex tales. Shane says Courtney is more than an act, it's 'part of her gender expression.' That's interesting.<br />
India's vagina works and she can orgasm. She was watching Doctor Who on Christmas Day and got a flutter down there while looking at a Dalek. Whatever floats your boat! Festive fun. Interesting hearing the difference between the male and female orgasm from someone who's had both.<br />
Rachel is looking for the next step of what to do in her life. Oh, Ann actually gave Rachel a compliment saying what she does is just as valid as her brothers. Fuck me.<br />
Shane Lynch doing the Stephen Gately tales. I'll never forget Jan Moir and how she spoke about him in the Daily Mail. Absolutely unforgivable and despicable. She basically said he died because of drugs (not true) and asked for it because he was gay. Disgusting. I do genuinely wish an early death on her for that.<br />
What is this task? Oh they're all telling embarrassing stories. I can't write all these down. Ann is not too happy with stories about shitting yourself. Big Brother people are obsessed with shitting and pissing.<br />
Oh, they have to tell who's lying! I always miss the task instructions and get lost halfway! I need Gaz here to help me.<br />
The Michael Jackson impersonating was fun. I could live without all this wank talk as well. This feels like boring barrel scraping Big Brother to me, like one of the bad old seasons past.<br />
Ginuwine is hating on Trump. Ann of course, hates Hillary, because she hates all women.<br />
Andrew is getting dragged up. He wants a 'PC' drag name for Ann's benefit. 'Betty Swallocks' doesn't sound THAT PC. to be honest.<br />
India saying 'before it turns up' about Andrew as a drag queen. India doesn't want it to look homophobic that she doesn't want to see a straight man in drag. Um? Malika is right, India could just go in another room, but she'd rather have the storyline. Dapper: 'I have a phobia of ex Love Island contestants.' That was actually half funny.<br />
How strong is that sellotape? I can't even get a plaster to stick to my foot. Andrew's ass cheeks are stuck together cos he's taped his dick between his legs, ha. 'It's going to hurt when it comes off.'<br />
Andrew does look good in drag. India is pretending she's freaked out. She is a serious attention seeker. Jess and Rachel are right to comment. Mind you, I have an actual phobia, and I could not confront it, and other people would find it irrational and call me stupid, so there you go.<br />
I do think India is insane. But I feel protective over her because of how much shit she gets on Twitter.<br />
Andrew seems very comfortable in drag. I like the fact he enjoys looking ten out of ten, ha.<br />
Andre is taking his make up off to appease nutty India. That's nice of him. Ooh, I wouldn't relish pulling that tape off. Ebay?<br />
Andrew just spoke to India like she was five. But then she is acting like she's five, so. It's getting really hard to defend her, except against transphobia. She is acting up a lot.<br />
Dapper thinks one of the guys should get with Jess, because he wants to but can't.<br />
Ashley is talking to Ginuwine about her future career and how she wants to have a baby. Number 10? You could be stepmum to one of his?<br />
Ginuwine wants more kids! How the fuck does he keep track of nine! With five women, I think I heard on the radio today. Dog!<br />
India comes back to the living room with mascara all down her face. 'I'm not a special type of woman. I'm a woman.' Malika walks off. India doesn't like people laughing at a man dressed as a woman. Actually, if you put it like that, it makes more sense.<br />
India is driving Malika up the wall, ha. Malika is right though, India was given the option to leave the room.<br />
India is comparing drag queens to the black and white minstrels. Oh fuck. You can see Ginuwine trying to understand what the fuck is going on.<br />
Andrew: 'I'm a hetrosexual male but I'm camp as fuck.' His eyebrows look very well groomed for a straight man. He's cute, though. I see his side, he was breaking boundaries for himself as a straight man. He actually made a good point, too. God, these people are at such cross purposes. It's exhausting.<br />
India accusing the men as not seeing her a woman. They haven't said anything to suggest that. 'It's what you think in your head.' How the fuck does she know what they're thinking! Mad. I would be livid if someone presumed my thoughts to me! The truth is, they're the thoughts inside India's head.<br />
India: 'On your bike!'<br />
Andrew: 'Dickhead, fuck you, you prick.' Not a nice way to talk to a woman, is it? Nasty side to Andrew at the end there and he's dumb because he did have the moral high ground. And that's what good about characters like India and Ann. They bring out the side of you Andrew doesn't want you to see.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://rpc.bloglines.com/blogroll?id=lightupvirginmary&target=http://lightupvirginmary.blogspot.com/"></script></div>lightupvirginmaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01371404648770257776noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623527747238657704.post-63135068056964286312018-01-06T22:25:00.002+00:002018-01-06T22:25:30.520+00:00Celebrity Big Brother 2018: Anything's a dildo if you try hard enoughRight, let's see if the men going in ruins the show or not. I think we have the most old school CBB on our hands since C4... and the male casting was OK (despite obvious minus points). So fingers crossed.<br />
I can barely remember watching the eviction last night I was so hammered so apologies for yesterday's blog. And in advance for this one.<br />
India has her boobs out in the bathroom. Well, that's quite Big Brother-ish isn't it. I wish I hadn't put that tenner on her to win. That was the worst timed Big Brother bet I've ever done. I think it's good India is body confident. I'm sure Twitter doesn't. The amount of abuse she is getting is disproportionate to her actions in the house. So I can only think the truth: transphobia.<br />
Ha, the women are getting a sneak peek at the men and assigning them jobs to do. Ann is hoping to see Harrison Ford. You'd be lucky to get Jar Jar Binks. Malika can't understand a word Shane is saying.<br />
Ann 'didn't take to' Dapper Laughs. Me either. Finally, we agree. Ha, her face when Ginuwine was on the screen. Malika used to fancy him at school.<br />
India was not happy to see Courtney go in. I just had to write down 'gender queer pansexual polyamourous vegan athiest feminist blonde Australian.' What a delightful intro. I didn't have the motor skills to write that last night.<br />
They made Daniel the toilet cleaner. Ann thinks it's disgusting. It seems she prefers rape jokes to athiest polyamourous vegans. Why am I not surprised?<br />
Ann is upset that the task is about women humiliating the other gender. Just like men have done to us throughout history. Boo fucking hoo.<br />
I think it's fair Ann doesn't want to sleep in the room with then men. Didn't India say she'd give Ann the bed back after a few days? Ah, Big Brother SHOWED IT. They are really throwing her under the bus. India, you did say you would move and go in with the men.<br />
India: 'Some people are more equal than others.' I think I'm done with India now... except when she's getting trans bashed. I will always stick up for her on that one. 'Ann Widdecombe is a miserable old bag'. Truth.<br />
Bedgate! India is fed up with the 'OAP Mafia' and doesn't want to move beds. Big Brother is tell her she has to move! Is Big Brother taking sides?! If it was Ann's bed, they should have given it to Ann on night one.<br />
Does Courtney have an invisible cord attached to her dress to make it fall off all the time? It's very Carry On, isn't it.<br />
Daniel looks like a potato. But has less charm. Rachel is not liking the men. Courtney trying to win Ann over, ha. Good fucking luck.<br />
Wayne pirouetting in. He seems nice! He'll probably turn into a complete terror. I'm a terrible judge of character.<br />
India telling Courtney she has a phobia of drag queens. I think India just has a phobia of people thinking she's a drag queen.<br />
John wants to share a bed with Andrew because he's skinny. That's my policy on sleeping with men, too.<br />
Aw, Courtney and Wayne sharing a bed! Oh no, Shane is sharing with Shane! I like them clarifying what to call Courtney. I would do the same. The answer was quite simple, wasn't it.<br />
It's great that Courtney isn't sensitive about being called he or she... because she plays BOTH roles. India DOESN'T. But the idiot general public are too dumb to work out the difference.<br />
Ooh the women are in a secret room! The power room. Power trip!<br />
The women assigned John and Shane to be chefs. They assigned Wayne and Ginuwine to ve the butlers.<br />
Malika has come out of her shell since the men entered! I like it. The house cleaners were picked as Courtney and Andrew because they both look hygienic, haha.<br />
Jonny and Daniel were chosen as toilet cleaners. At least it's quicker than having to clean the whole house. I'd be a bit annoyed at cleaning a toilet I haven't even peed in yet.<br />
Daniel: 'My missus makes me do a bit of cleaning.' Heaven forbid you do it off your own back.<br />
Andrew saying he likes Ann's 'dark salmon nightie.' Thanks for the shot of that.<br />
India likes 'a cocktail of genders on the house.' Courtney: 'Anything's a dildo if you try hard enough.' I really wish she'd said that to Ann. Mind you, Ann knows.<br />
Daniel doing his rape joke story. 'I was teaching men how to pull birds.' His rape joke was 'out of context' haaaa. Good one! Now that's a funny joke. Him winning Big Brother during the 'year of the women' - that's not. I hate Alma and Maggie coddling him. They're not getting my vote. Apologists!<br />
I'm getting Sean Maguire (old person reference) vibes from Jonny and Daniel is a cut-price Jamie O Hara, if you can imagine such a thing. Yes, cleaning up shit is your appropriate role.<br />
Daniel saying he'd be 'second knuckle' into Jess. And Dapper was just a character, hey? I think you forgot to take him off. Hardly going to be a feminist vegan underneath that sort of comedy character, which is why I also despise Leigh Francis/ Keith Lemon.<br />
Any airtime Jess gets reminds me of the bad old days of Big Brother. She makes my IQ drop.<br />
Courtney sleeps with anything. If a woman says that, they'd get shit.<br />
Ah Ann in the DR, let's see what she thinks of this crap. Ann, don't you have a dressing gown! Ann didn't like Courtney losing her skirt. You don't say.<br />
Why does India use the word 'transsexual?' As far as I was aware that was an outdated term, but you think she would know? I find it puzzling.<br />
She's asking the guys if they would go out with a transgender person. They're saying no. But lots of guys would. Courtney is right... it is about fragile masculinity.<br />
Ginuwine has massive hands. He says who he sleeps with is a choice. He's right! India, you can't nag someone into dating you. I have been with guys who have been with trans people. They are out there.<br />
India is a bit too much. Courtney: 'He's just not that into you' is correct.<br />
I'm glad Courtney is challenging India on her views. India doesn't see herself as LGBT. But she doesn't really have a cohesive argument. She's as fixed in her views as Ann.<br />
Poor Ginuwine coming into this! Malika: 'I'm 100% sure we're dealing with a victim.' She's right. I like fiery Malika! Victim blame! But... OK in this case, ha. India has skulked off to bed.<br />
Courtney is wearing a onesie! Is that still a thing in Australia? I haven't seen one of those in five years.<br />
Rachel cuddling India. I feel Rachel enjoys the drama tbh. I do agree with India though that people just pretend to accept she's a woman. Several people in the house do.<br />
New BBonBlast podcast tomorrow! Stay tuned. Dapper fave to win, apparently. God bless the UK. Snowflakes! Brexit!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://rpc.bloglines.com/blogroll?id=lightupvirginmary&target=http://lightupvirginmary.blogspot.com/"></script></div>lightupvirginmaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01371404648770257776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623527747238657704.post-74566746078550178652018-01-05T23:08:00.004+00:002018-01-05T23:08:41.607+00:00Celebrity Big Brother 2018: Who's the man with a plan?Who's the man? Brandon Flowers, collecting his royalties. So will the show be royally butchered when the men go in? Let's see.<br />
I like Emma's furry sequinned coat but not her crappy windswept hair.<br />
Standard Big Brother twerking and slut dropping. Have they not even dabbed yet? So retro.<br />
Amanda calling India 'he'. That's Ann, Rachel and Amanda who's done it now. Not acceptable.<br />
Amanda was not very apologetic. Ann: 'An apology is always enough.' Who the fuck are YOU to say that! It's NOT for you to judge it. You're not transgender!<br />
Eek, gone right off Amanda in two seconds flat. She did not sound sorry at all. Ann chipping in with her two pence worth, yuck.<br />
Ah, Amanda is drunk. Fuck Rachel too, saying India's reaction was 'performative.' Fuck these old bitches. Bigots. Gross. Ann just stirs it up. Poisonous.<br />
India having to tell them she's a real woman. They will never understand. They will never get it. Small minded. I can't believe how much hate India is getting on Twitter. I don't know why! I think she's good! I think she's in the right. Even my mum tweeted me that 'India is getting nasty.' How! She's no Phelan!<br />
Sad piano/ guitar music. India hiding in the garden under a blankie. Imagine going through all that and having people just call you 'he' still. How undermined must you feel.<br />
Side note: I like Amanda's orange coat.<br />
Ooh then men are going in already!<br />
<b>John Barnes</b> the footballer is first in. I have never minded him as far as footballers go. And I hate 99% of footballers. I like his crappy song.<br />
Yuck, I hate these inside interviews! Annoying. Save it for the eviction. John is anti homophobia and racism and judges people based on their character. I hope so! Minorities should support each other.<br />
John Barnes- the new Ziggy.<br />
Next in is <b>Courtney Act</b>, a feminist vegan drag queen. I loved his description of himself. He looks great as a woman. I love his name too. I don't know anything about him but I know people are excited about him going in. He's Australian! Interesting.<br />
Confusing hashtags - are we calling him Shane or Courtney! The difference is, it doesn't matter like it does with India.<br />
OMG Courtney falling over. And no pants! Best entrance since Gary Busey. I don't care if it was fake, it was amazing. It did look like he tripped on his dress. No pants and covering up his junk. Oh my. I'm speechless. Rewound this at least five times. Emma was cracking up. Wish I'd been in the audience for that.<br />
Next up <b>Shane Lynch</b>. 'I think the world is disgusting for the way they treat women.' Me too! You can open doors for men and women though, Shane. Shane has been watching! He knows the house dynamics. Can't we just call him Shane and Courtney Courtney? I can't deal with another Luke A/ Luke S situation.<br />
Next in is <b>Jonny Mitchell.</b> 'Feminism has gone too far. - no point being a feminist then saying you don't want to split the bill.' Good point. He looks like Bo Baskoro, a singer I like, haaa. Nice for a villian to have a lisp. Good for the podcast, haaaa. He's gotta be from Essex! I do think he's not bad looking despite the hair.<br />
Next in is <b>Dapper Laughs</b> who said women are 'gagging to be raped.' Oh, he's trying to be a reformed character. Emma: 'It's time to hear him out.' Fuck off! Oh he's had a baby girl, let's hope she never gets raped. Did he just make a joke about his dead dad fiddling his baby? Oh you've got a dead dad and you've had a baby. Fuck off!<br />
So we have to call him Daniel now. Ha, and now he's bragging about being given loads of money! NICE. He even looks like a complete cunt. Jamie O Hara vibes!<br />
Ooh John Barnes looked a bit uncomfortable when Dapper came in! Interesting. I would grill the fuck out of him! And he goes straight to Ann and talks to her. I can't believe there's no live feed tonight! Fail.<br />
And we're back. Nice to see Dapper Laughs getting cheered by the crowd, isn't it?<br />
Next in is <b>Wayne Sleep</b>. I don't know much about him but the older gay trope can be quite entertaining... as long as it's not Louis Spence. He's already friends with Amanda. I like the fact he's five foot two. So am I! He's dancing on the way in. I hope he's fun.<br />
Who's drunk all the champagne! I'd be fuming.<br />
<b>Andrew</b> from the Apprentice is cute. Looks a bit gay though. Feminism means women should spoon men. Yes, that's the cause we're fighting for. Look at his shoes with no socks and meggings though. And his friends in their coats. Shameful. He does seem quite friendly though.<br />
Ok, I'm drunk now. Next in is <b>Ginuwine</b>. I do remember his song Pony now I just replayed it on YouTube. Does he know what 'pony' means in the UK? He looks a bit greasy. Sisquo! Fatman Scoop! I loved Fatman Scoop though. I think he's more Sisquo that Fatman Scoop. Racist! I just called Fatman Scoop 'Fatboy Scoop' on Twitter because I'm drunk. That's like the worst mash up ever. Right here! Right now!<br />
So only the women can vote and the women have to assign roles for the men to do. Haaa! So the men have to crawl to them. Dapper Laughs for toilet cleaner!<br />
Again, criminal there's no live feed now. Yes, I am still beating that drum. When we visited the house, they had channels for different rooms, so they COULD show it, if they wanted. But they don't. They burnt their own house down.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://rpc.bloglines.com/blogroll?id=lightupvirginmary&target=http://lightupvirginmary.blogspot.com/"></script></div>lightupvirginmaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01371404648770257776noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623527747238657704.post-81222035908078592502018-01-04T22:14:00.005+00:002018-01-04T22:14:56.657+00:00Celebrity Big Brother 2018: It's CBB, not PanoramaI don't think Ann slept on her own because she's a snorer. I think she slept on her own because everyone hates her, including me. Unpleasant person. I don't think there's much excuse for misgendering someone when you're in a house with ONLY women. Ann is doing it deliberately to be mean, in my opinion.<br />
India is talking about her transition. It only took place two years ago! I like how confident she is. A far cry from the horrible Kellie Maloney.<br />
Rachel asking Ann what she thinks about gender reassignment surgery on the NHS is a bit naughty as she knows she's gonna dig a big hole for herself. Ann's priority is children going blind. I don't think Ann really cares about mental health. Ann has the face she deserves. Bitter woman.<br />
I like how Amanda knows herself so well, and I guess by 82, you would. I like the fact she just doesn't give a fuck.<br />
Jess didn't understand what way to vote for Brexit so didn't vote. I think it's probably better not to vote than to vote for something dumb, which she obviously would have, because she's dumb as a rock. Ann digging her out for not voting, but what's the point in voting if you don't know what you're voting for? I'd rather thick people didn't bother, and then I wouldn't have to hear the non-word 'Brexit' seventy billion times a day. Yeah, thanks for that, old people.<br />
Another patronising task. Having to go against stereotypes against women. Patronising claptrap. Ann's attitude to tasks is like my attitude to life. Why is she even there? How much did they pay her?<br />
The axe throwing actually looks fun but dangerous. India's throwing was horrendous. I'm glad Malika is winning. I like her and I think she's vulnerable if it's a vote to save.<br />
Jess wants to 'come out of her comfort shell.' Fake Jade Goody of the week! Maybe she will learn something in the house. Anything. Please.<br />
Ooh, Ann to Rachel 'what is the point of working and getting someone else to look after your children?' Gauntlet thrown! It's easy for Ann to say 'if you have children they come first' when you have NO FUCKING CHILDREN. It's none of your business! I wish everyone would just let other people live their lives the way they want to. If it's not affecting you, butt the fuck out. Ooh, butt fuck.<br />
India has never been with a man. Interesting. But she's not attracted to women. I'm guessing it can be hard to date when you're transgender. You have to be with an open minded guy.<br />
India's son is not speaking to her at the moment. It must be hard for family when people transition. You have to get used to a new reality, I guess, but it's really sad.<br />
Drone shots! I do like the editing on the new show, and the social media is better too. Hello, Alfie Green. Could do with some more GIFs though. I guess we'll have to make our own!<br />
I like Ashley's earrings while changing the tyre because I'm just a simple woman, focused on trinkets. This is the most patronising thing I have ever witnessed in my life and I've seen Fearne Cotton present Top of the Pops.<br />
I'm scared to look at Twitter because of the abuse India is no doubt getting for having an 'unfair advantage'. This task is a transphobe's dream. I swear this theme is stirring up more hate than any normal series towards women.<br />
Rachel bitching about Ann in the DR. Thinks the decor is 'fine'. I've been in there, and it's lovely. I love all the copper. John Lewis plates. Whatever.<br />
The look of joy after Ann 'accidentally' called India 'she' says it all. Rotten to the core. India is very tolerant.<br />
Amanda has so much knowledge because she's so old. But she doesn't seem doddery at all and she looks great! Pensioner goals.<br />
Ann is against female priests. I can't wait to vote to evict her. Amanda 'religion causes more wars than anything else.' So true. That was a bit of a sour dinner. I enjoy the political chat!<br />
India has a lot of cleavage on show at the dinner table. I bet Ann is fuming!<br />
Ashley is so annoying and I don't even know why. I would react like Ann to someone telling a story about shitting themselves. What is she, Scotty T? Oh, was it about her period? I switch off when she talks. Same thing. Bodily fluid talk. Equality!<br />
Maggie likes younger men but ageism is alive and kicking in the UK. True. Jess: 'Madonna's done it.' Madonna has a lot of backing dancers to choose from.<br />
It's actually tragic that Ann has never been in love. I pity her but I'm not at all surprised.<br />
Malika is right that Ann is cold and that she's not interested in anything she doesn't agree with. India says Ann has a heart of gold. She really doesn't. She's hateful. India is so nice with Ann and Ann is just curmudgeonly towards her.<br />
Malika is looking forward to seeing how the women change when the men come in. Interesting. I think the women will be super territorial when the men arrive. The bed situation is going to be carnage. In fact, the whole thing might be carnage.<br />
I know everyone's worried about ratings, and I think they should be. Every night on Twitter I search 'CBB' and 'people I follow' and it normally takes me about 10 minutes to scroll through the tweets. Tonight it took me about two. No one is tweeting. It's not trending. It's a shame because it's been good.<br />
If they put Dapper Laughs in tomorrow, we could have another fight night on our hands, and THEN we'll get the headlines, and THEN it will be trending.<br />
But THEN don't pretend this is about feminism. It will be about exploitation and shock value. And if one of the women smacks him one, I don't fucking blame them.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://rpc.bloglines.com/blogroll?id=lightupvirginmary&target=http://lightupvirginmary.blogspot.com/"></script></div>lightupvirginmaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01371404648770257776noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623527747238657704.post-77665793358642575142018-01-03T22:11:00.002+00:002018-01-03T22:11:29.749+00:00Celebrity Big Brother 2018: No umbrage will ever be taken We went to the live launch yesterday and went in the house and met Rylan again! There's loads of pics and <a href="https://www.facebook.com/bbonblast/" target="_blank">some videos on our Facebook page</a> including a house tour and a <a href="https://www.spreaker.com/user/lightupvm/cbb-2018" target="_blank">podcast we did on the train</a>, including two exclusive interviews with people you've never heard of. It was a gay old time.<br />
But how was the launch! Rainy and patronising. Men were offended. Women were offended. Old women were put in the house. It's a big risk, I think. But it was nice not to see the usual Geordies and Towies. Is Big Brother really getting serious? Do we want them to? I don't think they can win either way, can they? There will always be complaints on both sides.<br />
I watched last night's live feed just now and it was interesting seeing women debating. I was surprised to hear many of them say they hadn't experienced discrimination before listing all the ways they are discriminated against! India understands the issue truly, as she has seen it from both sides.<br />
Recap! 'Isn't this ghastly!' Probably the best line of the night about the delightful house which actually looked wonderful. I loved all the copper and the couches are really lovely. Kitchen was cool, bedrooms were nice, I don't see what the problem is! They've even got the DR chair right.<br />
I love the fact India knows the feminist history. I don't! I'm a bad feminist. I like the way they're cutting up the interesting tidbits people are saying.<br />
Jess's eyes freak me out! Cat eyes.<br />
Amanda and Ann are both snorers. Get in the other room, quick!<br />
At the moment India has this in the bag. No one is even close. I think I'll put a bet on actually. Just did it, put a tenner on her! Not even seen the men go in yet! That's how confident I am! *throws money away*<br />
Ann is bed blocking!<br />
That's weird they didn't even reshow the daggy sexist task with the wires. Don't blame them, though. Jess and Amanda get to give two other housemates immunity, too.<br />
Malika calling herself a TV personality, aw. I like Malika! She's better than Jonathan Cheban. I think she comes across quite well on KUWTK, but mind you, everyone else on there is such a cunt, it's quite easy to.<br />
India doing her transition story straight out the gate, Luke A style. She doesn't agree with Ru Paul calling himself transgender. He doesn't, does he! He's a drag queen! Uh oh.<br />
Maggie seems an interesting character, even though she's not a celebrity. Not sure she's mastered putting on lipstick, though.<br />
I hate Ann Widdecombe as much as she hates positive discrimination. Her views are so warped.<br />
Women talking about make up. Empowerment!<br />
Ah here's the bit from yesterday's live feed. I have seen female directors in my own workplace treated like PAs so I know it happens.<br />
Ann is so dogmatic that her opinion is right in every circumstance and it's so annoying. People have different perspectives.<br />
Ann cites ONE top police officer as being female as being acceptable. NO, IT ISN'T. So people are equally paid in parliament. But there aren't as many female MPs as men! So it's not fucking equal, you thick old bat. Don't you get it? There are 50% men and 50% women on the planet.<br />
I'm not really interested in the posing naked debate. It's entirely a personal choice.<br />
Rachel posed naked to 'celebrate women's whatever' but 'it didn't really.' Enough said. Still none of Ann's fucking business though.<br />
I don't like Ashley, I find her quite annoying and I'm not sure if it's because she's posh. I normally like a posho.<br />
The diary room looks great on camera! It's a bit hard to sit on. Looks fucking cool though.<br />
Jess is scared of Ann. I would be if I was her, too. Jess is out of her depth. She needs some more Scotty T type housemates to rub up against.<br />
Amanda and Jess chose to save Maggie and give her immunity.<br />
Rachel: 'No umbrage will be taken.' Umbrage is taken mere minutes later.<br />
What, Ann gets to sleep on her own because she snores? Oh, she just gets a specific bed. India doesn't want to give up her bed. 'It's normally first come first served.' True story.<br />
Ann wants to win a task. How about she wins the first eviction because she's been grinding my gears. Is she good TV? Not for me so far, but I was anti Woodburn at first, so I can be wrong.<br />
Ann is against all women shortlists, but doesn't mind being on an all women Big Brother.<br />
Jess doesn't need to wear a bra because her boobs aren't real. Amanda doesn't wear a bra cos she 'has no tits'. Bras are annoying. Having boobs is an impediment. I'd like to be able to run for the bus.<br />
Oh, I see, Ann is going to sleep in one of the bedrooms on her own until the guys come. I wouldn't mind that if I was her, but then again, it's not wise to isolate yourself.<br />
Rachel's hair is a bit Rick Parfitt. I like her so far though. She seems pretty smart. 'Big Brother is always here.' Rachel: 'That's the story of my life, really.' Very quick.<br />
India has some good legs on her. I think it's interesting that she likes Ann because I don't think Ann likes her one bit. I like people with strong opinions, but not people who are rude and inconsiderate.<br />
Ah, toothbrushing, a Big Brother staple. Rachel has forgotten her deodorant. Stand back!<br />
Malika looks good without her make up on! Make up chat... because I'm a girl!<br />
Malika: 'We don't have the same language... at all.' We do. It is annoying when she talks like a baby though.<br />
I just texted my mum that Ann is annoying and she texted back 'she's old and she's a virgin.' Haaaaa. Maybe she'll get laid once the men arrive! OMG, Big Brother... you've made me a sexist.<br />
Nah, I'm actually enjoying this so far. Feels very old school! I wonder what the ratings will do? The old fans are loving it... the young 'uns probably hate it. Maybe Big Brother realised there were more of us, after all.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://rpc.bloglines.com/blogroll?id=lightupvirginmary&target=http://lightupvirginmary.blogspot.com/"></script></div>lightupvirginmaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01371404648770257776noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623527747238657704.post-2214380098005058092017-10-25T01:02:00.001+01:002017-10-25T01:02:34.202+01:00Placebo live at Brixton Academy - 20 years<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAjsGnw7b7zvBNa08ssuXgCPqu5cRRldA6L-lhGIaYncvoxXFecG6HCRLf0OXew6OwtlJ1uVEvsoTVywMTJj6OZqqVMTvJG24enuS1OU5tmoAjIMGb8xLKJgfNGay8pwWSk8azBLqD62kM/s1600/IMG_2289.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAjsGnw7b7zvBNa08ssuXgCPqu5cRRldA6L-lhGIaYncvoxXFecG6HCRLf0OXew6OwtlJ1uVEvsoTVywMTJj6OZqqVMTvJG24enuS1OU5tmoAjIMGb8xLKJgfNGay8pwWSk8azBLqD62kM/s400/IMG_2289.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Brian and Bowie</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Disclaimer: much of this blog is about my personal life and idiosyncrasies as much as the gig. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I think I've only gone to see a band on my own three times, and each time has been really great. No one to worry about, just get to the front and have your one on one time with the object of your musical desires.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Going to see Placebo on my own was a bit of a weird one, though. You know when a band is so entwined into your relationship that every song is your song and then that relationship ends horribly and you have to try and rebuild your relationship with the band because you don't know how to rebuild the relationship with that other person and a relationship with a band is easier to manage. That.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have a really weak bladder so employed my strict 'no fluids after 4pm rule'. I took Smint, Fruitella and a packet of Randoms instead of a drink. Randoms are actually pretty good, even the foam ones. I need to invest in a large bag of those. The only sweet I would have also liked was orange Tic-Tacs. They are great for gigs. Top tip there for you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So the queue was massive but as usual it's full of short girls (hello, me) so not too bad, except the woman in front of me with what looked like a <a href="https://twitter.com/lightupvm/status/922887593431392257" target="_blank">dead Labrador on her head</a>. So I got into the venue and went straight to the barrier. Left seems to be my preferred side. The first layer of the barrier was taken but there was a gap just the row behind where you can still position yourself so you're standing on the metal and you're quite immovable. However, the young Grotbags tapped me on the shoulder and said her friend was standing there but would be back in a minute. Those two things are not like the other! I went 'Er OK' with no intention of moving for the next four hours. The friend comes back from the toilet and I hear Grotbags Junior go 'I tried'. Barely. Toilet girl then taps me on the shoulder and asks me to move. Now help me out here, but do people have the right to guard invisible spaces for their friends? The answer is 'fuck no.' I went 'how can it be your spot if I'm standing in it?' Which I feel was a good point. There was much whining and complaining. I said 'I'm in here on my own and didn't go to the toilet.' i.e. I planned ahead, bitches. They continued to moan and groan and my final word on the matter was 'are we still talking about this?' God I miss arguing with strangers since I stopped driving. Thank god for the internet. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm only small anyway so it's easy to see over me. Plus if you're guarding the barrier, stand on the barrier, dummy. Never cared. Later, drunk men come lolloping in, punching women in the face a foot from me. Worry about that shit, not an imagined turf war with me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The support band were called like The Musty Hoops or something (yeah it wasn't that) and were a bit proggy. They had something about them (I'd fuck all three of them if it was the Apocalypse or something - sorry to objectify skinny young men but welllllllll) but they were no Silversun Pickups (a previous Placebo support band I'd seen and enjoyed.) </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So I'm just going to do this review from memory and not look up any facts from it. Placebo are celebrating 20 years (woo) although that does give them the excuse to play the song Twenty Years (as if they needed one) which I despise. There was a video package first with a video for Every You, Every Me I'd never seen before where Brian is mooching about the ladies loos. It was REALLY good! Have they dug that out from somewhere? I'm sure that's not the real video. Unfortunately that was all the Every You, Every Me we were going to get tonight, sad face. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So they opened with Pure Morning, which I was sure Brian had stopped singing because he said the lyrics were crap. Did I dream that? I feel like that was a thing at one point. Great song, though. Second song was Loud Like Love, which was brilliant! His voice sounded good. It was only after that when he stopped and told us that he had a bad throat: 'I woke up sounding like the guy from The National then lost my voice two weeks ago' that I noticed his bad throat. He said he was going to have to sing some of the songs a bit differently, which was not good news. Brian is a one for reimagining (code for 'ruining') songs at the best of times. But he said it was going to make the night special. And in a way, it did, because him not being able to hit the high notes, made me appreciate all the times he DOES. Which I just took for granted before as he is so fucking good live. I cannot tell you the amount of days I have spent watching Placebo gigs on YouTube. He just always delivers. Even tonight he delivered as much as could, while sick, which is more than you get from Morrissey, ha. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Brian also asked people to help him sing along (no problem) and to put away phones as they distract him (good call).</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This pic would be better without security guy's head</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Did I mention Brian's hair? It's an interesting look he's going for at the moment - sort of a Friar Tuck vibe. I wish he'd shave it off, he looked so good in the Meds video. I was also struck by how little he was tonight! Weird because I've seen him a few times. I do like my popstars diminutive: see also Conor Oberst. Another thing I noticed was he changes guitar after every single song! Talking of guitars, how cool is Stefan? I just love their relationship. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So the next song (and I will forget some) was Jesus' Son which I really like but he had to sing it one key down so it was really hard to sing along to. I noticed his voice was properly shot then and was wondering if he would change the set list accordingly and sing loads of dirgy ones. Sure enough (not in this order) we got Twenty Years, Soulmates Never Die (that was actually good), Special Needs (not too bad) and the dreary Devil in the Details (no). Too Many Friends should have been amazing but he just couldn't get up there - that song is ALL about the high notes. The music sounded great and I felt for him and I love that song so much. I'm glad he didn't cancel the gig because there was still a great atmosphere and it was good fun. For me it was very emotional. Exit Wounds in particular was painful because that is from my relationship break up album and lyrically that song is very apropos so I just got transported back a year and a half and it fucking hurt. There's no getting over some songs, even if they helped you at the time.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The best songs Brian sang were ones without too many high notes (which is a shame as my favourite thing about him is when his mouth flips in two like a muppet and you can see all his fillings). There were glimpses of high notes but not many and it was sad because I know how brilliant they would have been and I had a great view where I was (haha).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A lovely surprise for me though was I Know, which I looooooove, and they did a really good section where they played Protect Me From What I Want (although I do prefer Protege Moi cos it's sexier and the lyrics feel less stupid in French), For What It's Worth (go no butter!) which his vocals sounded good on and Without You I'm Nothing, where Brian was forced to sing the David Bowie part because it's deeper. Pictures of David Bowie were on the screen behind him and I cried, but it was nothing to do with Bowie. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They tried with the big hits: Special K and Slave to the Wage sort of worked with a lot of audience participation, The Bitter End held up reasonably (thank God for all that guitar) and Infra Red struggled but is always a joy. The crowd seemed mega into it and supportive the whole way though. The saddest part was no Every Me, Every yoooooooooouuuuuuuuu because you can't go 'yooooooooooouuuuuu' when you have a bad throat. But that's my favourite. So that was really disappointing. But I just don't see how he could have done it because he just couldn't hit the notes. You could see him struggling. He still put on a fantastic show and the band were really great. The light show and graphics always look brilliant at Placebo gigs (take note Morrissey). </span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Oh and he also sang Nancy Boy for the encore but the tune/ vocals was all over the shop (but then that long deviated from the original version anyway). I still love 'eyeholes in a paper bag' though. Magic.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Should Brian have cancelled the gig? The crowd seemed to love it from where I was (in that girl's spot!). I personally needed to see Brian and I don't regret going. I know on my next YouTube Placebo gig binge, it will make me appreciate those high notes and fillings all the more. I realise now how important his voice is, and the aspects of it I appreciate, and how it's something that helps me get by. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So as we left the bar very handily put cups of water on the side, which was much appreciated, so here's the shout out for the water. Fruitella can only get one so far in life.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm not sure this review even was a review or relevant to anyone else, but I felt like I needed to document it somehow, so here it is. Now I really need to go to bed. PS: My feet hurt. Night!</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://rpc.bloglines.com/blogroll?id=lightupvirginmary&target=http://lightupvirginmary.blogspot.com/"></script></div>lightupvirginmaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01371404648770257776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623527747238657704.post-17924612887800606452017-08-24T22:22:00.004+01:002017-08-24T22:22:47.240+01:00Celebrity Big Brother 2017: Bitch, you're lying<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkoMJIrBvwv6FUpcXLH7uUh_sgVlbLSv9Bv3zKVAPmshNOIJz3Irhfju9K_KGxIEUQCvucN-ncwginCG1-D5vVkx22OBGErNBRVkoD39K6ZaGEWcyth_vDFntBL2trTtXpc_CJVdgQk6zQ/s1600/IMG_9988.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkoMJIrBvwv6FUpcXLH7uUh_sgVlbLSv9Bv3zKVAPmshNOIJz3Irhfju9K_KGxIEUQCvucN-ncwginCG1-D5vVkx22OBGErNBRVkoD39K6ZaGEWcyth_vDFntBL2trTtXpc_CJVdgQk6zQ/s320/IMG_9988.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Vote Chad! </td></tr>
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It's the penultimate episode! Ex housemates hikacking the house = ran out of ideas again.<br />
Karthik is on the mic doing more of his c-raps. Chad making him say 'titty sprinkles'! Chad has some amusing turns of phrase. <br />
Sam is flirting with Jemma in the shower. She's getting her arse out for airtime but has her hand over her vagina, so that's decorum, at least.<br />
God, Marissa has a sexy voice. She's putting Barry in Ian Terry from BBUS's old dog suit (they obviously picked that up at the yearly conference).<br />
Sam is wanking off about getting to speak to Jordan again. 'I want to hold you... I'm wearing your old boxers.' Um... ick? Their enthusiasm for each other is annoying. Glad they got split up, but wish we'd kept Jordan instead of Sam and his broom of doom (and I don't mean Jemma).<br />
Sam and Amelia's staged date. Not exactly Surly the fish with Ed and Jade from BBAU, is it? He never did play those cards, did he? Probably still got them in his back pocket as we speak. <br />
I disagree with this task on the principle that Amelia has feelings for Sam and him and Jordan are making a dick out of her. Mean. <br />
Sam: 'She felt the prick in my ear.' That's no way to talk about Jordan. Did dummy Amelia really not know he was on a task until she saw the earpiece?<br />
Why is Jordan allowed to counsel Sam in the DR? Is this part of the task?! Dumb. Kind of funny in a way that Amelia was mocking Chad and Sarah but at least they get off with each other and appear to have some sort of drink-laced feelings, or at least attraction. Sam doesn't even want to touch Amelia. I realise I've just felt three different ways about Amelia in three paragraphs, which is quite a feat considering how dull she is. <br />
Uh oh, Chad is getting in trouble for making eggs and mince. Chad loves to eat. 'Goddamn these people are fucked in the head.' Weeellll. Amelia: 'You can't say people are fucked in the head, that's really mean.' He can if it's true.<br />
Jemma is being psychotic. Chad is not allowed to snack! He only wants a tiny lunch. Hope he's not mincemeat by the end of this episode. <br />
Jemma saying he's 'a selfish little prick with a little prick, we all seen it in your Taco outfit.' We all seen - I mean, saw - it in bed the other night when Sarah was rubbing it, too. Aw, poor Chad and his little Johnson. <br />
Brandi is now shitstirring over the airwaves. Calling Derek out for saying bad things about Jemma. Derek said he said it in the first week. Brandi: 'Bitch, you're lying.' He said it in the Vault!<br />
Brandi going 'no conferring, it's cheating' to Sarah, haha. Chad going 'you're playing your American reality TV card' again, haha. Brandi: 'I'm pushing buttons, I'm pushing yours right now.'<br />
Brandi is being brutal! I like it. I don't agree with what she's saying to Jemma, though. Jemma can be friends with Sam. They're not that flirty. I think they're fine. It's weird when Sam says they're 'basically the same person.' I bet his parents don't agree.<br />
Amelia coming into the convo: 'Is it about me?' No it isn't. PS: You look gormless. Barry: 'They're just shooting the breeze.'<br />
Woo, Dangerous Danan is back. He's making them point and laugh at people they think will be evicted next. Is this the new face to face nominations?<br />
Chad to Jemma: 'Everything about you is shitty, your aura is shitty. If you were a Spice girl, you'd be shitty Spice.' This went down very well on Twitter. Jemma actually looked a bit hurt.<br />
I really wouldn't kiss Jemma or Sarah just because Paul told me to. Desperate!<br />
Oh all the other housemates have come back in now. It's not exactly Raph and Chanelle reunited, is it? Karthik to Chad: 'They can't show anything you haven't said or done.' Ha!<br />
Paul: 'It's one of the best Big Brothers' ever.' What year did he start watching? Halfway through 2017? <br />
Sarah: 'We've not done the deed.' Paul: 'It didn't look like just a kiss. In the toilets it looked like you were banging.'<br />
Sarah: 'I swear down. We've obviously had a grope.' So Sarah remembers rubbing Chad's dick! I guess it was for airtime after all, then. She can't really complain then, can she?<br />
Amelia is getting relationship advice from Paul Danan. End of days. He's discussing Sam's indiscretions on Made in Chelsea, haha. Harsh! Paul was watching it at 2.30 in the morning. Sniff!<br />
Marissa is bagging out Jordan! Why! Look at Marissa's caged boobs with her nipples showing! She's sexy! Did she go out with Calum Best that night? If so, grim. Jordan pretending he's not slept with anyone outside the house, ha. RIP to Jordan and Marissa's magazine deal. That's 20K down the swanny. <br />
Brandi is telling Amelia what's what with Sam. Brandi: 'He even jokes about it... about how all in you are.' Amelia: 'That's a prick move.'<br />
Why is Amelia wearing a kimono? Ken Barlow? Now she's crying and saying she's not desperate. This is great for her game! A bit of sympathy!<br />
Amelia: 'You've made my experience in here.' Sam: 'You've made half of mine... you, Jordan, a bit Gemma, and Paul.' Let me just fetch my calculator, because that doesn't quite add up.<br />
Amelia: 'I think you've just met me at the wrong time.' Um. Sam: 'I think that's a very good way to end it.' Dodged a bullet there, didn't he? JOKES. Prick. <br />
Jordan and Sam, no one gives a fuck about your friendship! Get lost. Why are the ex housemates doing stirring speeches! Stupid. Get out! We evicted you. Meet you outside the Holiday Inn!<br />
Backdoor eviction time! Barry got the boot. Someone ruined it on Twitter about 15 minutes ago. Should have known people couldn't keep their mouths fucking shut. I'm not bothered about Barry going, but he deserves it more than Derek, Amelia or Sam. I'm still baffled how Derek has lasted this long.<br />
Imagine if Chad or Sarah had gone out like that with no interview?! Not even any handcuffs ala Jamie O Hara! No Emma coming into the house! What a dud. It's so half arsed. Did they run out of budget? Spent it all on the marble laminate in the Vault? So do we have to sit through a Barry interview tomorrow now, when there's still six people left in the house? I hope it's gonna be a long show or they're gonna have to evict these motherfuckers in threes.<br />
Oh well, hopefully Sam will be coming out sixth now. My dream order to go out would be Sam, Amelia, Derek, Sarah, Jemma, Chad. So wait for that to not happen!<br />
I'm busy tomoz so won't be blogging but we'll be podding on Saturday (<a href="http://www.spreaker.com/user/lightupvm/celebrity-big-brother-2017-socket-and-se" target="_blank">our most recent one is here</a>) and going through all the last few days of horror and the no doubt outrageous outcome. I just wanna see Chad beat Sarah. And Jemma beat Sarah. And Sarah's face. But I do think Sarah deserves to be in the top three. She's done a lot in there and has been very entertaining. I keep reading it's a dud year, but I've enjoyed it with no Geordie Shore idiots ruining my experience.<br />
Enjoy the final! See you on the other side. <div class="blogger-post-footer"><script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://rpc.bloglines.com/blogroll?id=lightupvirginmary&target=http://lightupvirginmary.blogspot.com/"></script></div>lightupvirginmaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01371404648770257776noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623527747238657704.post-28480553069611000792017-08-22T22:16:00.001+01:002017-08-22T22:16:05.688+01:00Celebrity Big Brother 2017: Kitchen sunk<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZlh-7ALL3iCtlh-nGDCwHs1BNW-pHk_eIRCMiQWJUd1DPn4Ac7C5DK0q6xXUr9wES2k0D5xK6ebGiLvAzMn2TZpvyU5kiURlruX17fBwTCqN4XwQbc7TNoKJ3fkN_293AbWzQQxycUVWy/s1600/IMG_9937.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1432" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZlh-7ALL3iCtlh-nGDCwHs1BNW-pHk_eIRCMiQWJUd1DPn4Ac7C5DK0q6xXUr9wES2k0D5xK6ebGiLvAzMn2TZpvyU5kiURlruX17fBwTCqN4XwQbc7TNoKJ3fkN_293AbWzQQxycUVWy/s200/IMG_9937.JPG" width="178" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Vinnie Jones</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEsdcdoM0STKFyQT6u6pmg5B5ip1Rn18RsWPCgNFoNNDHnqYl1GoAetERYgKkcchF-2l0mbBskT9JhvMWWleT0wufjf54yxI_Nmqw3qexvRZCLoUXdHBZ3GYMqpgvhzn4fdwzix6hoHM04/s1600/IMG_9938.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1558" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEsdcdoM0STKFyQT6u6pmg5B5ip1Rn18RsWPCgNFoNNDHnqYl1GoAetERYgKkcchF-2l0mbBskT9JhvMWWleT0wufjf54yxI_Nmqw3qexvRZCLoUXdHBZ3GYMqpgvhzn4fdwzix6hoHM04/s200/IMG_9938.JPG" width="194" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">James C</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
A double eviction! Ooh, who will it be? As it all ends on Friday, the drama isn't that exciting. There's still life in this old dog but they're putting it down too soon! <br />
Who goes, you decide? Shouldn't that be 'who stays, you decide'?<br />
Hope Chad doesn't go, but Americans haven't fared well so far. Up for eviction is Chad, Helen, Jemma, Sam, Sarah and Sandi. I hope Sarah, Chad and Jemma stay. The others are deadweight. <br />
There's not really the cameraderie of Rose Cottage and Thorn Cottage this season, is there? <br />
Jemma wants a role in Helen's sitcom. Two things that are never going to happen.<br />
Sarah wants to travel and have a family. Perhaps stop smoking and drinking non-stop first.<br />
Chad on their fictional daughter: 'We shall name her Megatron. Or Laquesha.' Why is he not running in the other direction? Chad is a masochist, I believe. Who would put up with that?<br />
Who spray tanned Sam? I just switch off when he's on screen. He 'looks like a racoon'. He looks like a buffoon. Oh it was Jemma, ha. <br />
Sarah is quizzing Chad on his relationship history. His longest relationship is one year. His shortest will probably be this one with Sarah.<br />
Sarah and Chad are off with a bottle of red. Jemma: 'she's off with her second boyfriend' haha. <br />
Jemma: 'The alcohol stealers.' Derek: 'I had a little drop. They're holding onto it.' Shut up, Derek, you drip. They offered you a glass. Then Jemma goes and swipes it, ha. Jemma is just constantly on the look out for a row. Now Paul Danan has gone, she's lost.<br />
Jemma to Chad: 'You're secluding yourself as people don't want to sit with you. Go sit in the bedroom.' He can sit where he wants. I don't get why everyone is so grumpy with their relationship! Let them be. <br />
Big Brother is playing Girls Aloud to get Sarah out of bed. Her dancing with a broom, well, it's not much different to Cheryl, is it? Positive Sarah airtime just before the vote closes, nice one, BB. <br />
Derek's getting in the pool in his speedos, phwoar! Lol.<br />
God, what is Barry and Helen's problem with Sarah and Chad? I'd rather watch Sarah and Chad's mental relationship than Helen and Barry moaning about it. They're even grumbling about Derek going in the hot tub with them. Moaning about Derek's speedo airtime! He's not even up for eviction, you boring old bags, leave him alone. <br />
OMG the crowd chanting 'get Sarah out'. She's going to melt! Why cheer Sam and Sandi! They're useless. Sarah is being entertaining! Although, what is she wearing?<br />
OMG, it was Sandi and Helen evicted! They both look so shocked to go! They are so smug! I love it when the cheers don't reflect the votes. And they get the old Janice Battersby and Mario Falcone treatment! Two by two, the ultimate indignity! And the others acting like it's not real. It's real! Sandi: 'Keep the kitchen clean!' It's not your kitchen, so bye! <br />
Sandi and Helen both thought they were a cut above and annoyed the hell out of me, so I think it's great the entertainment has been kept in.<br />
Sandi saying she was shocked to go, how vain! I guess Helen didn't sell her wares well enough at the trade fair.Then admits she's dull. How is the sitcom going to get made at this rate?<br />
Sandi going on about the kitchen... no one cares! Saves us sitting through two boring interviews, I guess. I'm surprised so many people on Twitter are upset Sandi went. What did she actually do except Vinnie Jones up the kitchen? She did nothing! Helen did less than nothing. Byeeeeeee.<br />
Helen can't even remember Sandi's name. Says it all.<br />
Haha Chad livening up Helen's best bits: 'Helen's awesome but I probably wouldn't date her.' Lol. <br />
They both got paid thousands to be in there and weren't entertaining. Say what you like about Sarah: she's carried the show. Her, Chad and Jemma deserve to be in the final. <br />
PS: <a href="http://www.spreaker.com/user/lightupvm/celebrity-big-brother-2017-socket-and-se" target="_blank">Check out our latest podcast</a>, it's had over a thousand listens (fuck knows why). Oh, I think it was because I forgot to put it on iTunes for half a day. But still. That's a shitload of listens. Thank you so much if one of them was you, although you've now given me stage fright for the next one!<br />
Chad to win! <div class="blogger-post-footer"><script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://rpc.bloglines.com/blogroll?id=lightupvirginmary&target=http://lightupvirginmary.blogspot.com/"></script></div>lightupvirginmaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01371404648770257776noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623527747238657704.post-12099732147336710052017-08-20T22:22:00.003+01:002017-08-20T22:22:52.346+01:00Celebrity Big Brother 2017: No Netflix and no chill<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKFBdi_hygjIwXUvA0-ighD6v-d3qnTYQfpbl3EC61yxyFBUb5TBiHu_uniccOFs-Hx86tSk-WUsWrDwbbK5GNLBXJrONY2MSj0n7sBdIPq-w7SIJUq5KjRKIgNjZ5pVKzRaK08OkZWz4E/s1600/FullSizeRender.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="414" data-original-width="619" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKFBdi_hygjIwXUvA0-ighD6v-d3qnTYQfpbl3EC61yxyFBUb5TBiHu_uniccOFs-Hx86tSk-WUsWrDwbbK5GNLBXJrONY2MSj0n7sBdIPq-w7SIJUq5KjRKIgNjZ5pVKzRaK08OkZWz4E/s320/FullSizeRender.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oh, wow</td></tr>
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Oh my God, guys, yesterday's Big Brother was too good! After the idiot general public voted out Brandi and Paul Danan in one night, I lost faith in you. I lost faith in us as a society, as I saw Barry and Helen circling the garden, complaining about the only people providing any entertainment.<br />
But then we had Chad and Sarah announcing they were ON. And while I'm not a fan of showmances, I am a fan of people acting like drunken fucking messes and making dicks of themselves. Their drunken row was magic, from the singing, to the egg eating, to the 'miss you' and 'fuck off'. Boy, is Chad in over his head. And Sarah is making SUCH a fool of herself. Mentioning marriage? With Mr Flirty Pants off the Bachelorette? She's not so much drunk as in-fucking-sane.<br />
Seeing the truth slowly dawning on Chad's face was just delicious too, but I think as long as he's getting his belt unbuckled in the bathroom, he's down (literally). It's a shame there's only a week left and it's a shame we only have one villian left as I think there's at least another two week's worth of drama to go. Barry, Helen and Derek need taking to the glue factory. Boring bastards. Helen going it's not 'the time and place to be funny' in the house. You're getting a platform every night for a month! If that's not the time, when is the time! Fail! Casting fail. Personality fail. Get out. <br />
Anyway, onto tonight's show. Barry: 'Eating doesn't bother me.' Liar! Barry doesn't look like one of these 'too busy to eat' people. He's not a 'square of chocolate' man. <br />
Sarah to Chad: 'Are you still in a strop?' Chad: 'I don't know what that means.' Haha.<br />
Sarah is mental. That dog dressing gown needs BURNING. I'll burn it with her in it if needs be. Sarah hugging Chad and saying she's the bigger person. She is a piece of WORK. <br />
Chad in the DR: 'I wasn't going to eat the meat, she's acting like a fortune teller.' He doesn't have trust with Sarah. They only started going out yesterday and he doesn't trust her already! He's not going to eat for a couple of days (except some random eggs in the storeroom, no doubt). He doesn't want to eat too much butter and potatoes that Sandi makes. <br />
Why is Sandi stirring about Chad! Shut up. Sandi gets on my nerves now. I didn't like the way she was with Brandi either.<br />
Sarah is accusing CHAD of sulking. Sarah is a one woman sulk.Sarah makes Cheryl Cole look friendly. <br />
Sam to Amelia: 'You're a ray of sunlight on a rainy day.' You're a twat ruining my programme.<br />
Big Brother has called housemates to The Vault. That used to be a crap nightclub I went to in Northampton. I can still smell the dry ice and poppers now.<br />
So they are just nominating, so what's all the palaver about? They have to put their two noms in the safety deposit boxes. Why? Why not just the normal DR noms? They have spent about 100 times more on The Vault than the Diary Room chair, that's for sure. <br />
Amelia nominated Chad for eating and Sarah for shouting at her. Derek nominated Jemma for saying disgusting words, haha. At least she doesn't defraud grieving people. And Sarah for drinking alcohol. Women hater. 'She can't help it, poor love.' Snake. Sorry, ssssssnake. <br />
Chad nommed Sandi cos of foods and Jemma for causing rows.<br />
Helen nominated Sam (woo!) for putting the horses head in her bed. She's disappointed in him. I'm disappointed in her as a housemate. She also nommed Sarah for being a different person 'in the evening' (ie. when she's shitfaced).<br />
Sam nominated 'The Harding' for lying that she and Chad were just friends and 'The Chad' for needind to smell Sarah. Mmm. What must she smell of? Fags and rum, I reckon.<br />
Sarah basically saying that Sarah should nominate Sandi to make him happy, what a sneak! She didn't rise to it, though. <br />
Sarah nominated Helen (good!) for not cleaning and Jemma for causing friction. So she didn't do what Chad wanted, haha.<br />
Jemma nominated Sarah for saying horrible things and being unstable (like herself) and Chad. Aw, Chad is my favourite.<br />
Barry nommed Sarah cos she has her partner in there! She has her NEW partner in there anyway. Don't be bitter, glitter, Barry. And Chad for the same reason. What is Barry's problem with the showmances? Does he not love love? He's only in there for another week! Chill the fuck out.<br />
Sandi nommed Chad for late night eating and Sarah for moaning about everything. 'She's happy go lucky but she's not taking full advantage of it.' How can you be happy go lucky and moaning all the time?<br />
Helen is feeling lonely. Well, you know where the door is. I have no sympathy for her. You're getting paid well to do a month in there. It's not a particularly volatile house. You're not in there with Bear. Shut up.<br />
The oldies are talking about pop socks and petticoats, FFS. The highlights feel thin tonight. It's a shame as last night was so good.<br />
Jemma is asking Sam to choose between his ex and Amelia. I don't know who his ex is but I don't care about Amelia, so whatever. She is saying she likes him in the DR. Honestly, I couldn't care less.<br />
Sam admits he still likes his ex to Jemma. The only thing Sam likes is the sound of his own voice. <br />
Ok, they are showing them the noms now. The little doors are opening in The Vault. At least they are showing them how many nominations they got each. Jemma got three, Chad got five and Sarah got seven. <br />
Lol, all housemates who got one nomination are up, haha. What a fix. I fucking love it. Get someone (boring) out. So up is Chad, Helen, Jemma, Sandi, Sarah and Sam. Helen makes James C look exciting. Derek and Barry are just as bad.<br />
Chad is going a bit Karthik saying to Sarah: 'Go put on a dress'. Ha. Sarah: 'It's what's inside that counts.' You're fucked on that front, too, then. Chad: 'Go put on a shiny dress.'<br />
Amelia to Sam: 'When did you realise you first liked me?' I don't think he does, mate.<br />
Sarah has realised everyone nominated her, even Derek. 'It's a witchhunt, I feel so deceived.' I liked it when she said she assumed Chad didn't nominate her. Give them another two weeks in there, and I think he would! <br />
Sam is 'scared of underpromising and overdelivering.' Has he worked in a call centre? More shades of Karthik!<br />
Time for Sarah and Chad to 'Netflix and chill' with no Netflix and definitely no chill. More like Prosecco and regret.<br />
Night camera sexy time! Chad: 'This is hard.' No doubt. 'Can you feel that there? Yes that there.' What there? <br />
How can you get it on with Derek snoring like that? Not sexy! Hardly a conducive ambience. And why the eye masks? Kink?<br />
The worst part was Sarah rubbing his cock NOT EVEN under the covers. Even Steven Goode did 'open it' with his robot wife undercover. It just looks seedy, and I am NOT in the habit of slutshaming. He should have known better, too. And the way they cut to the others snoring and sleeping is just the anti sexy, haha. Still, I am enjoying watching the utter car crash of it all. They're the only two in there doing anything, and if anything means rubbing cock while wearing eyemasks, I guess that's what we'll have to deal with!<br />
Hopefully podcast tomorrow! Fingers crossed. Thanks for reading. <div class="blogger-post-footer"><script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://rpc.bloglines.com/blogroll?id=lightupvirginmary&target=http://lightupvirginmary.blogspot.com/"></script></div>lightupvirginmaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01371404648770257776noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623527747238657704.post-14435936385699283852017-08-15T22:24:00.002+01:002017-08-15T22:24:33.175+01:00Celebrity Big Brother 2017: Hunting for witches (and snakes)<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhordd7L0Utff-Pid0Nc3DY0P8-QsdgPgDpjn8sZW5l1e8PuMuSCtDd0ayFkoViEq8Lzg8etIfD_rLeIW5er9fbo2xELrnz6RuKQThzWkRFbBlYtwF7ARLUTkc6D040gqCH1UAKU_ehvoCE/s1600/WhatsApp+Image+2017-08-15+at+22.05.59.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="755" data-original-width="813" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhordd7L0Utff-Pid0Nc3DY0P8-QsdgPgDpjn8sZW5l1e8PuMuSCtDd0ayFkoViEq8Lzg8etIfD_rLeIW5er9fbo2xELrnz6RuKQThzWkRFbBlYtwF7ARLUTkc6D040gqCH1UAKU_ehvoCE/s320/WhatsApp+Image+2017-08-15+at+22.05.59.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Out here drinking allllll the tea</td></tr>
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Apologies to anyone who <a href="http://www.spreaker.com/user/lightupvm/celebrity-big-brother-2017-something-kin" target="_blank">listened to our last podcast</a>, I was dying on air. Thanks to Gaz for holding things together. I'm still not feeling great, but I seem to be blogging the evictions at least!<br />
Wow, if you did a drinking game for every time someone says SNAKES on Big Brothers' worldwide, you'd be Gazza right now. Snakes everywhere! Sorry, sssssssnakes everywhere! But where's the sound effect, BBUK? You need to have a word with Julie Chen and the guys at CBS.<br />
Brandi is getting annoyed with Sandi. I think I am as well. I don't think the pairing of Jemma and Brandi is particularly pleasant but at least it's entertaining. Everyone else is being fake nice or putting on an act or some bullshit. God, it's such a unlikeable house than when you slag off one person on Twitter, people end up presuming you like Paul Danan or something. I mean, come on. All the fencesitters in the middle are driving me mad, and everyone else
is a cunt. It's slim pickings! Who is there to root for... Barry?<br />
Paul getting Sandi to tell Jemma to leave him alone, what a fucking baby. <br />
Jemma: 'Paul wants to stir his little pot and stroke his pet rat.' I think Paul wants to smoke a little pot, that's for sure. Where's the pet rat at? Oh, his top knot, most likely. Paul's the oldest hipster on record.<br />
'The housemates are playing a game of celebrity spin the bottle.' How is that different from regular spin the bottle? Oh it has a bit of glitter on it. <br />
Sam and Barry re-enacting his death scene... well he said he wanted to when he went in. Or was that Jordan? I get the two over-excitable muppets confused. <br />
Sarah doesn't want to snog everyone in the house... just Jemma and Chad. Sarah didn't look that annoyed when Chad snogged Jemma, it was no Nikki Grahame watching Pete and Aisleyne kiss. Jemma 'You're basically Chad's bird.' Jemma stomping off and kicking something because Sarah wouldn't kiss Sam for a dare? Why?!<br />
Jemma: 'You've got a boyfriend and you're fucking kissing Chad anyway.' That much is true. <br />
Sarah has had enough. She's been tested to her limits. I don't know why she's even angry. She's having a go at Sam and Jordan for some reason. She's a total nutcase. At least Jemma owns being a lunatic. Sarah pretends she's actually decent when she's the dodgiest one in there, in more ways than one. Trying to redeem your image by getting shitfaced and snogging someone who isn't your boyfriend isn't exactly what your agent would suggest, I'd imagine. <br />
Jemma: 'Get the fuck off me' to Jordan, haha. Sarah: 'You need to stop drinking' to Jemma. So do you. Sarah is pissy cos she snogged Chad, end of story. 'Enough is enough!' Yes, enough with you pretending to be Miss Innocent. OWN YOUR SHIT. <br />
Oh, Sam is saying Sarah's annoyed cos Jemma snogged Chad during spin the bottle. That makes sense.<br />
Sarah in the DR: 'I've got my own stuff to deal with, I don't need it thrown in my face on TV. What started off as fun, ends up in a tragic fucking war and I'm in the firing line every time.' Cos you're the root of it all, you psychotic bitch! God, she's driving me up the wall. You're making me feel sorry for Cheryl racist Cole at this point!<br />
Big Brother has decided not to give the housemates anymore alcohol cos they're all alcoholics and mental and they're probably worried someone's gonna do a Kim Woodburn or a Deborah. <br />
Jemma is dead right that Sarah plays the victim. Sarah to Sam: 'This is becoming a witchhunt.' Let's hold her under the water in the hot tub just to make sure. Haha, her calling Sam and Jordan warped. They haven't done anything! Sarah is a mental. End of story. I hope she watches this back and realises. Sarah: 'You guys have to change your tunes.' They're just two immature little dickbrains! You're ten years older and having a breakdown. You need to change your tune. <br />
Jordan: 'You get too pissed every night.' Haha. Sarah nicking her fags back. 'I was out here drinking tea last night.' If you don't have a problem with drink, you don't have to point out the nights you didn't drink. Because you don't notice. <br />
Jordan: 'None of us can drink now because of you. You're ruining everyone's night, every night.' Look at Jordan's too short trousers with his little red socks. Hard to take him seriously, really. And he has a bandage on his arm. Wanking? <br />
What does Chad see in Sarah exactly? She's just awful. Even Amelia Lily has lost her shit. Amelia zero storyline Lily has lost her shit with Sarah.<br />
Amelia: 'Well, we're not allowed anymore alcohol.' Sarah: 'GO AWAY! I'VE HAD ENOUGH!' Amelia: 'It's fucking disgusting being spoken to like that, talking to me like a piece of shit, fucking arsehole.' I think Amelia wanted another can of rum and coke. <br />
Poor me, poor me, pour me another drink (oh you can't, as they've had it confiscated cos Sarah is loopy). Then Chad snogs her in the loo trying to comfort her and she says 'let's get back in the friend zone.' I mean, he's in the wrong taking advantage of a drunk, crying mental case, but she is mixed messages galore. Their 'relationship' is fucked and a half. Chad looks genuinely bemused. <br />
Looks cosy in that 'friend zone' in bed, doesn't it? Kissy kissy! Oh, they're just keeping warm, I'm sure. <br />
Nice to see all the women getting booed and the men not, as usual. Eww.<br />
Ooh, the two safe are... Helen and Gemma. OMG Sarah and Chad's FACES. It was like the anti Ika and Demetres crab eyes of joy when Neda was finally up on BBCAN. Amazing moment. Chad knows he's in for a night of moaning now, haha.<br />
Sam and Jordan are no more! Cry me a river! Fuck off, fake reality twats. OMG the crowd are chanting get Sarah out. I can't believe it. They actually agree with me! Makes a bloody change!<br />
It's a shame Jordan went over Sam, but let that be yet another message to BB that we don't want these scripted reality people in there. I mean, how did Helen get more votes than him?! I know she's more famous, but who is ringing in? <br />
OMG at Jordan's embroidered jacket saying he was the winner. He's no Roger Federer, is he? Fail. The yellow socks and the yellow suit, too. Why!<br />
Emma: 'I've never seen Ex on the Beach.' Burn. <br />
Jordan: 'I thought going in there... everyone hates reality stars.' Weeeelll.<br />
It's a shame for Jordan (not us) that he went in a way, as no one would have bothered nominating him if he hadn't been up due to that task. But I'm glad not to watch the bullshit bromance crap anymore.<br />
I just realised I haven't been paying attention to this interview. Oh well. I did hear Emma say 'predictament' instead of 'predicament.'<br />
Jordan saying Sarah is a nightmare and he hates her, haha. 'She's meant to be a role model, getting pissed, kicking off and hiding fags.' I hate Emma trying to turn it back on Jemma. He wasn't talking about Jemma! Jordan: 'This whole Chad thing is bullshit.' Yes!!! Emma can't deal when someone decides to speak the truth for once. <br />
Ooh, just noticed Emma's outfit. Quite nice. Makes a change. That was fun! I'm enjoying the Sarah/ Chad/ Danan/ Jemma dynamic. It's an absolute car crash, but it sure does make good TV! <div class="blogger-post-footer"><script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://rpc.bloglines.com/blogroll?id=lightupvirginmary&target=http://lightupvirginmary.blogspot.com/"></script></div>lightupvirginmaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01371404648770257776noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623527747238657704.post-70522890233443601712017-08-11T22:04:00.003+01:002017-08-11T22:04:52.178+01:00Celebrity Big Brother 2017: Two birds, eight pack, cock outBlog fans! You'll be happy to know I can't podcast right now because I'm sick and have lost my voice! I can only make victim croaks. But I have a fab new laptop so I'm going to be blogging my little socks off. But first! Let me get a vodka. You can put vodka in Lemsip, right?<br />
Emma has a repreating pattern on but I'm not sure if I like it yet. <br />
It's the morning after the nightly Sarah vs Paul smackhead crackdown. Derek is worried Sarah is 'sitting in the negative corner' ie. the smoking area. Kartik is brushing his teeth IN THE GARDEN. This is a new low! Where is the sink? Is he going to spit it onto the astroturf? ANIMAL. <br />
Trisha: 'If I have to stay in this house with Sarah I'm going to self evict.' I can see her point. Sarah's one woman pity party is tiring. Even Derek and Barry nommed her. I just wish they told them the totals. She would have gone nuclear. All these bitches on Twitter feeling sorry for her! Fuck that. That's what she wants! And no, that doesn't mean I'm on Paul's side. I'm on no side, as they are all uncivil as fuck. I've seen politer arguments outside Wetherspoons.<br />
Trisha: 'I know some vampires.' Jemma: 'So they kill people?' Trisha: 'You have to go on the dark web to find out about them.' Well they wouldn't be on the light web, would they?<br />
Helen can't be bothered to talk in sentences anymore. I know the feeling.<br />
Jordan telling Chad he did well to stick up for Sarah. Narcissists stick together.<br />
I liked Jemma at first but she's constantly bitching. She moans about Sarah being negative but she's just as bad. <br />
Trisha could do with some Dove Summer Glow. I'm a similar colour to her and it just makes you look less translucent. It's not tan, just a body lotion. I recommend it to pasty people.<br />
Chad is 'just going to not wear pants today'. I like Chad best when he's just chatting to Trisha.<br />
Sandi has to do a task where she has to be the best at everything ie. one upping everyone and winning Tina Turner songs in return.<br />
Sarah bragging about her massage skills, her 'strong thumbs' and then singing her past hits with Sandi. She's quite tragic at times. <br />
Trisha saying she wants to be boring so she gets evicted. I just voted for her! Wish I hadn't now. Zzz. Sandi is trying to make her twerk. What is it with Big Brother and twerking. They are more obsessed with it than cats ears.<br />
Sandi now has to make Barry do something but I wasn't paying attention. I can't be fucked to rewind. Doesn't seem worth it.<br />
Karthik has never met anyone like Trisha who just orders in food and makes her living off YouTube.<br />
What happened with Chad and Amelia? Now he's after Sarah but he's playing the long game, ha. 'If I go home tomorrow it won't happen.' Is he storylining to stay in?!<br />
Trisha's underboob looks sore.<br />
Sarah and Paul are making up AGAIN. Sarah is blaming Jemma for everything. Eek, Paul Danan's top knot. Yucksville.<br />
I just saw the bottom of Emma's dress. Fuck NO.<br />
We're about to hear 'highly offensive language that is not for the faint hearted'. Ooh. Let's see if my heart can take it. Pass the smelling salts. <br />
Sam said 'Trisha looks like she's permanently about to have a download.' What does that mean? Did I mishear? <br />
Then Brandi said to Sam 'you're such a little a cunty whore'?. He sure is.<br />
Chad has 'fashioned himself some new hooves.'<br />
Why is Brandi apologising to Sam so hard? Who cares? He IS a little cunty fame whore and a nipple flicking twat. He wouldn't even still be there if Jemma had complained about him, as she should have done. I think Sam is dragging the idiot Jordan down, and that's saying something.<br />
Tina Turner disco! Derek's dancing is good. Not really. Looks like he's about to take off. Are there too many oldies in the house? I think one or two in their fifties is fine, and people in their thirties are good, but Barry, Derek, Karthik, Shaun, Helen... it feels a bit top heavy. I'm not ageist, I love old man Jerry and Kim Woodburn. I just don't want to hear a bunch of oldies moaning about their arthritis. We have Christmas in BB19 for that. <br />
Paul on Chad: 'Two birds, eight pack, cock out.'<br />
Why is Trisha jealous about Chad smoking with Sarah? He smoked three cigarettes straight, haha. Trisha sounds mental. She's got Chad on lockdown. <br />
Trisha calling Chad a fake. Jemma's ONLY storyline is hating on Sarah. I like Sarah's dress today. Is Amelia still on the show? Now her fake love triangle has died I haven't seen her.<br />
The rose cat ears are next level grim. BURN THEM, BIG BROTHER.<br />
Jemma could start an argument in an empty room. I still don't know what about. Oh, cos someone said 'are you still going on about it?' Was it Paul? It's not worth rewinding is it. This episode is just not worth rewinding on any level.<br />
Jemma is bitching to Derek. Perhaps he can put her in a more positive seating area. Calling Paul 'a fucking little rat', haha. I actually feel sorry for Derek having to deal with these neurotic bitches (that includes Paul).<br />
What is the drunk mess Jemma wearing? A wonky vest, bra and some weird jogging bottoms. Paul: 'Don't threaten me, you're not a bloke.' Ha. Jemma: 'You're a little snakey rat.' *cue snake sound effect* Paul: 'Don't step up to me like that, you aint no gangster.'<br />
Jemma: 'Take your silly little shades off.' Haha. There's no prison sentence long enough for Jemma and Paul's collective fashion crimes.<br />
Paul: 'All this rat shit? If someone steps up to me like that they'd be on their fucking arse.' Rat shit? Rachet more like.<br />
Those were actually entertaining highlights for an eviction episode, the last part, anyway.<br />
Safe are Sarah and Chad! They didn't even hear it at first. Was nice when they hugged although I do think he's playing up the showmance because he knows she's popular. So it's out of Karthik and Trisha to go. Ooh! I wonder who will go? God, Sam is such a knob.<br />
Not another American woman out, please! Ooh it was Karthik. Oh well. No loss. I haven't found him entertaining or interesting but Trisha needs to do something now. <br />
Karthik's probably happy to be out of the mad house. Are there going to be more adverts now? What a joke.<br />
Karthik doing 'just got off the boat' jokes. I think his heart is in the right place, he just seems a bit of an odd duck. But apparently he was good on The Apprentice but I don't watch it anymore.<br />
I heard that Sarah has a boyfriend actually! Interesting. She does seem quite chummy with Chad now. Does HE know she's got a boyfriend?<br />
Karthik doesn't know if he's going to be a celebrity or going back to being an IT guy. Let me see.<br />
We never even got to wax his monobrow. I don't mind his turquoise jeans, though.<br />
WTF Big Brother is on at half ten tomorrow because of the football but is showing on 5* at 9? WEIRD. I wouldn't be surprised if they just stuck it all on 5* like they did with BOTS the other night. I missed BOTS that night! Dumb. They don't give a fuck. <br />
The pod will be back when my voice is back! Love ya.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://rpc.bloglines.com/blogroll?id=lightupvirginmary&target=http://lightupvirginmary.blogspot.com/"></script></div>lightupvirginmaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01371404648770257776noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623527747238657704.post-16699795822456451092017-08-08T22:06:00.001+01:002017-08-08T22:06:36.976+01:00Celebrity Big Brother 2017: I don't know what the public wanted from me <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
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So I'm back, baby, for the first eviction. I hope it's not Marissa! She does't deserve to be up. Or Trisha, but that goes without saying. I also hope it's not Karthik for obvious reasons, although I don't like him as a person generally (just dropped my lady card there), I felt for him as a human trying to reason with an erratic, racist, ranting and orange Paul Danan.<br />
I have been enjoying the series on the whole so far EXCEPT Jordan and Sam's pathetic friendship AND the Chad/ Amelia and Sam 'love triangle.' I have been entertained by Sarah Harding's meltdowns and the racist and sexist bits because it's real world stuff, not fake reality BS. That's the Big Brother I enjoy.<br />
Emma looks a bit 'end of pier Elvis' tonight, not great following last week's vavavoom. <br />
Karthik and Chad both getting heavy boos. <br />
Have you noticed Sarah has a fake posh DR voice like when you're on the phone at work?<br />
I'm not sure what Danan is even moaning about when he says Sarah took it too far. Sarah: 'I have eyes in the back of my head and one beady eye on Paul.' Is that one from the back of your head or one of your front two? Eww, Sarah's cats pee on things. That's unusual cat behaviour. Cats don't normally do that unless they're old or ill. Get Jackson Galaxy in. <br />
Jordan is bitching because Marissa said she openly wanted a showmance with him. His fake principles make me lol. He wanted a 'real casual kiss.' What even is that? A kiss is just a kiss, Jordan! Then: 'My nan always said why stick to one book when you have a library?' Is your nan a goer, Jordan? Paul: 'she was never going to move to Wales' before perving on Marissa's 'box splits' (eww).<br />
Ha, they just played the first clip again because they're dumbos. I'm surprised Emma could style it out so well without her cue cards. <br />
I really want to get on board with Karthik but he's annoying as fuck. Marissa's accent is amazing! I feel like they just put a different chip in her. 'These people aren't going to be your friends.' I believe it when she says it, unlike when Josie said it. 'Sometimes you have to flex to get respect.'<br />
Paul went down to Compton 'why do you think' and pretended he had a gun in his pocket. 'I mean, Iove NWA and all that.' Tsk, white people!<br />
Derek is asking Sarah about 'the Irish one' from Girls Aloud. Sarah: 'Yeah we FaceTime.' At least SHE'S not in the house. That accent only works on Jamie Dornan. Sarah, just say they're a bunch of cunts and none of them speak to you anymore, we don't care. In fact, we'd like you more.<br />
Jemma is bitter (not glitter) because Sarah once had a career but now she's just like them, with a month free in the summer.<br />
Oh I remembered why Paul is upset now, cos she said about him being an addict. Does Paul Danan still drink, or is he still drunk from back in the day?<br />
Sandi is getting so little airtime! Ooh, Sandi is saying Sarah is 'drinking and behaving in a certain manner.' How long before they show this on the screens. <br />
Sarah: 'I'm trying to change people's perceptions of me.' Paul: 'Then don't drink then.' If Paul Danan is telling you this, listen. Paul: 'You wouldn't drink on a job.' Maybe she would. Sarah drinks 'in moderation'. She obviously needs it to cope. Paul: 'You're going to get that mash up..' Mash up, ha. 90s talk! Paul is worried that he made a fool of himself on Love Island. You're making a fool of yourself now, fucknut. Paul: 'I see myself in you.' Maybe he is trying to help her, in his own way? I'm not sure, but I think he might be. Twitter says otherwise but if you're an alcoholic you CAN'T have one drink, that's the point. One leads to two, just ask George Galloway. <br />
How can Paul be sober yet still sound so fucking drunk?! Telling Amelia to have a rebound relationship with Sam. Please don't.<br />
Sam saying Marissa wore tighter clothes and cuddled up to Jordan to stave off eviction. Sam wouldn't mind her cuddling up to him, though.<br />
Marissa 'just wants to vibe' with Jordan and be in the moment (and then in the magazine deal). Jordan: 'It sounded like you just might be using me.' I'm sure a lot of guys would love to be used by her, what is this idiot's problem? Did he want to marry all of the 1,500 girls he shagged? Was he 'just using' any of them? Tool. <br />
Chad booed, Karthik booed, Marissa half and half, Sarah cheered (and emotional), Trisha booed. I like Trisha's glittering sea cape. Chic!<br />
Safe are Trisha, Chad and Sarah! So it's either Karthik or Marissa to go. I hope it's not Karthik now, argh.<br />
Karthik has his coat in his hand. I wish I'd voted for him now. Lol, someone in the crowd shouted 'get Paul out' and Paul went 'alright dude'.<br />
Marissa got evicted! Trisha's face at that point was a picture, lol. In fact, I'll use that as my picture. Karthik 'what the hell?' Marissa: 'I fucking knew it.' Oh well, fuck that showmance. Let's have some more racism for me to get angry about, it's more interesting. At least the public voted the right way.<br />
Marissa is dragging her feet. You're gonna get no interview at this rate. Ooh, Marissa ia grumpy. I actually voted to save her but then regretted it, haha.<br />
Marissa looks stunning but is a bad loser, and I guess we're tired of showmances. Self proclaimed underdog. You weren't!<br />
'I didn't know what the public wanted from me' and nor should you! You have no fanbase out here. Ooh, that is true, Barry put her up. I don't think she would have been up otherwise.<br />
Emma mentioning the American version like she knows. She doesn't know these BB streets.<br />
I like Emma's glittery eye make up. Marissa's lip is twitching like she wants to cry.<br />
Hopefully this is a trend, that we'll get rid of the dull showmancers. I would love to see Sam get the boot next.<br />
Marissa: 'Do you guys want something to happen?' about her and Jordan. Will you fuck him if we ask you to? Honestly, make up your own mind!<br />
And then going 'should I have started arguments?' Argh! No! Just be normal.<br />
Ooh this end bit with Jordan still carping about the magazine deal and it not being 'real'. You're riddled! Stop acting, you little bitch!<br />
I do think it's a shame to lose Marissa, but it's a shame to lose most people at this point. The person we really don't want to lose? Paul Danan. Yep, you heard right. We need the madness.<br />
<a href="https://www.spreaker.com/user/lightupvm/celebrity-big-brother-2017-secret-titty-" target="_blank">Our latest CBB podcast is here</a> for those who listen! BB19 coming tomorrow.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://rpc.bloglines.com/blogroll?id=lightupvirginmary&target=http://lightupvirginmary.blogspot.com/"></script></div>lightupvirginmaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01371404648770257776noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623527747238657704.post-24649898742140903592017-08-02T22:56:00.002+01:002017-08-03T15:55:23.826+01:00Celebrity Big Brother 2017: Launch night and first night epicness<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Early boot(ies)</td></tr>
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Sorry I missed blogging launch night, but I was AT launch night! A bunch of podcasters and Twitter peeps got invited down for a house tour and to meet Rylan and watch the show live, and it was really nuts and fun and exciting. Rylan in particular was very, very cool and definitely a massive Big Brother fan. If you want to know more about how the day went, <a href="https://www.spreaker.com/user/lightupvm/bb-on-blast-behind-the-scenes" target="_blank">have a listen to this</a>, as it talks you through the whole thing. Was so lush seeing the house and meeting other supergeeks like myself.<br>
But because I was there I felt like I didn't really watch the show, which is mad because I watched it in person. So now I'm going to watch it again and see all the bits I missed and how it looks from another angle!<br>
I have to say I'm feeling a bit Big Brothered out right now, so wish me luck, haha.<br>
First let's make it clear, we did not go 'whoop whoop'! OMG look at those fireworks! From the drone! That's mad, we saw that hovering all about! It's mad seeing everything from a different angle.<br>
Emma looked GORGEOUS last night and no, I'm not toeing the party line, she looked fucking ace, hair, dress, everything. The colour of her dress is beautiful. Her and Rylan are both so skinny! <br>
Basically where we were stood was behind the friends and family, directly behind Emma. The lighting and staging etc looks really cool when you're there. Being in the house was TOTALLY surreal, especially because Rylan was in there. It was mental. I still feel like it was just a dream.<br>
First in is <b>Barry from Eastenders</b>, aka Shaun Williamson. We'll be calling him Barry, I'm sure. It was a bit hard to see and hear the VTs from where we were plus there's loads of cheering and noise, so it's great to watch this properly now, ha. Was fun booing and cheering people! You don't really care whether you're booing or cheering, it's just making random noise to be honest, but that might just be because it's launch night and we're not invested in anyone yet.<br>
It's mad when you see them come out though, because you realise they are just real people, not characters off the telly. I like Barry. He seems nice.<br>
It's really FUCKING WEIRD seeing the house now I've been in there, like trippy weird. Because it didn't look like last week. It looked like a furniture showroom. The Diary Room is well duff though, looks like it's got my nan's old sofa in it. And the fields still?! Insane.<br>
Next in is <b>Sarah Harding</b>, a singer from Girls Aloud. I always kind of liked her (except when she was in Corrie). Her face used to look a bit melted but she kind of looks OK again now. She used to be really gorgeous. I think she'll be a good character. Is she quoting Ronan Keating? I did NOT like her hair or outfit when she went in. Ooh, she's got her bra out. That scraped up hair looks icky. Her and Amelia Lily both had bad launch night hairdos. I think she's going to be good in the house, though.<br>
Barry's task is annoying. I know his earpiece fucked up but it just looked such a dud on TV and there. Why do they do all these cringey first night twists?! Just let them mingle!<br>
Next is some dick from posho scripted reality crap Made in Chelsea, <b>Sam</b>. 'It's the best job in the world.' Doing what?! Reading off cue cards? He came out to the new Killers song! He doesn't deserve The Killers! Knob! I was booing him. I am now officially the idiot general public. I was trying not to boo the women though. He looks like a cross between James Blunt and Chris Martin, which is the poshest mash up ever, with highlights. Lol, I did like it when he said 'we are definitely reinacting that Janine moment' to Barry. Sam's got a dry mouth *coke head*.<br>
The fourth housemate is <b>Derek Acorah</b>. I used to watch Most Haunted quite a bit in an old relationship of mine and it was pretty stupid but fun at the time. I loved it when he used to abuse and assault Yvette Fielding and pretend it was a ghost doing it. Sam! His invisible friend (sorry, spiritual guardian). But there's already a Sam in the house. This is going to get confusing. He likes being booed cos he likes ghosts, right? Derek thinks there might be ghosts in the Big Brother house. Jade Goody? Derek is not going to use his secret powers in the house. Probably because the cameras would catch him wiggling stuff around in the dark (oo-er).<br>
Barry then had to do some more stuff (hug Derek and pour water over himself) which he didn't do because he couldn't hear - convenient!<br>
Next in is <b>Marissa</b>, a mob wife. She's a lot more attractive than the previous mob wife. Why is she wading round in water? She looks gorgeous, a bit Neve Campbell and someone else as well, but I can't quite put my finger on it. Her figure looks amazing. I hope she's going to be an absolute cunt.<br>
<b>Sandi</b> from Gogglebox was in next. I thought it was going to be Sandra going in, not Sandy! I like them both, though. I can't believe that was her twerking on all fours in her VT, I love it. She's either going to be brilliant or annoying as fuck. She was MILKING the crowd reaction but why not.<br>
Her entrance outfit was mad! The braids! The side boob! Also you can see me and Gaz in the audience during that bit, lol. I look like a right gorm. <br>
You may know <b>Chad</b> from the Bachelorette. No, we don't know you. He's basically perfect. Ew, veiny arms. 'I can't have sex with all of you but I promise to keep trying.' Eww. STDs. Hopefully he'll be a good villian, cos he's deffo sexist. I like the fact he said 'I've seen a couple of clips online'. He's 100% going to be out of his depth then!<br>
I don't like <b>Helen Lederer</b>. Annoying! It's like putting Sandi Toksvig in there, as far as I'm concerned. Yawn.<br>
Next in is someone from The Apprentice with a monobrow. <b>Karthik</b>. I hope someone gives him a good waxing in the house. I don't know anything about this guy. He explained you say his name like 'carsick... go kart.' Ha.<br>
Why has Sandi got hold of Derek's ear?! Maybe she's on a task, too.<br>Next up was<b> Brandi</b>, who looked like Jenna Jameson's mum. 'I'm best known for saying fuck a lot and drinking a lot of wine.' Fair enough. She said her husband married a 'cunt... ry music star.' Ha. Her husband left her for Leanne Rimes. 'I don't have a drinking problem, I have a drinking solution, rose all fucking day and go fuck yourself.' I can get behind that, tbh. She looked great IRL when she came out, very sexy in that outfit. I think she might be wearing Relentlessly Red lipstick from Mac that I was also wearing yesterday.<br>
This <b>Jordan</b> idiot is Megan McKenna's ex. Absolute knob. All the superfans were annoyed about him going in because Ellie was in civillian. These Ibiza Weekender twats shouldn't be in civillian OR celebrity, in my opinion. Detritus. He seems high as a kite and looks like he's dressed for a wedding. He wants '15 girls in there and just me.' Haha, he says he's slept with 1,500 women. ONE THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED. Kieran, you're slacking. His local VD clinic must be working overtime, what an absolute skank. Well, if he wasn't a total liar, that is.<br>
<b>Trisha</b> has one billion views on YouTube. 'How to lick your own vagina.' Sounds good. She described herself as 'sexy, smart and slutty.' I would pretty much describe myself the same way. I like her! She's going to be a character. Why are they all sitting in a puddle? She's self proclaimed good TV. And her dress! OMG. She looks like a hippo in a tutu. I love it. This is infinitely better than Trisha Goddard going in. I cheered!<br>
On her YouTube channel: 'I cry, I eat, I break down.' That sounds brilliant. Aw, she thinks we don't like her. I like her! Look at her boob buckles and her hair and her glittery eyeshadow and red listick. She's out of breath from just going down the stairs! Sandi looked agog.<br>
Next up is <b>Jemma Lucy</b>, a tattoo model, whatever than is. She has a very puffy face and a tattooed face and neck. She's bisexual. 'Of course I'm going to be a good housemate, I've got tits, teeth and tantrums.' I like all these little mantras they have! I think she seems alright. I don't like those old curtains she was wearing though, and her hair looked gross. I'm glad she got cheered, though.<br>
<b>Amelia Lily</b> is in next. I think she's a bit bland but she has a good voice. I used to like her pink hair. I definitely don't like people (especially women) proudly proclaiming they're thick. She's coming onto some hard house! I don't like her hair up AT ALL. Looks so mumsy. The tassles are not good either. Looks like she's been raiding Hannah and Deborah's wardrobes.<br>
They saved the best for last, reality stalwart Paul Danan! Woooo! He's been on the CBB bucket list of me and my friend Dawn for about a decade since Celebrity Love Island. He is Bear-esque but he was doing Bear's schtick while Bear was still sucking lollipops. <br>
But what the fuck was he wearing? His powder blue suit seems to have a skirt attached. And those shoes! Why is he so orange?<br>
Paul: 'Are we allowed to mention Love Island?' Emma: 'The old version, yes.' Lol. OMG Paul's son is called Deniro Danan. Amazing. <br>
So the last bit of Barry's awkward task happened next but I can't bear to watch it for a second time, it was so embarrassing. Also, even if it hadn't fucked up, stopping someone from going into the garden? Who cares! What are the stakes? Lazy as fuck as an idea. Terrible.<br>
That was mad watching all that again. I think I'm mad for sitting through it twice anyway. Then again discussing it on the next pod. Argh! I am being eaten alive by Big Brother and I'm just going with it. <br>
Ok, now we're onto tonight's show! Ooh the credits/ opening titles are very glitzy.<br>
And they didn't over egg the recap from last night of everyone going in! Well done, Big Brother, treating us like we have a brain and can remember a day ago, encouraging. Just don't ask me to remember a week ago. <br>
Barry passed his secret mission. God knows how, he was shit. Ooh! He didn't pass. He just won a killer nomination and not immunity. It's a bit unfair as he only met people five minutes ago.<br>
Ooh, he nominated Marissa for making him nervous by saying 'don't get in my space.' Ha. She's going to kick his arse. Shaun/ Barry is in a grump. 'Thanks for nothing.' Marissa doesn't seem too bothered. <br>
Amelia Lily loves Prosecco or as she calls it, 'lady fizz.' Chad thinks that sounds dirty. God knows what he's confusing that with.<br>
I could see Barry and Sandi becoming good mates.<br>
Sarah is talking about living in the country. Paul Danan is asking inappropriate questions already about her ex. He seems drunk out of his head. Paul: 'I know you had issues like I did.' She's magazine dealing already! Shameless. <br>
Jordan is very hyper (ie. coked up). The sugar plum fairy is calling him extra and he thinks she means he's an extra in his show, haha.<br>
Trisha: 'Are you an escort? Europeans have skin on their dick, right?' This is a good line of questioning. Imagine NOT having skin on your dick. Horrifying. Brandi is a Tom Jones fan. Jordan: 'I'm from Wales.' Trisha: 'Like Princess Diana.' Haha.<br>
That astro turf feels so thick under your feet, it's mad when you're in there. Have I mentioned I've been in there, haha. I love Paul Danan already.<br>
Marissa is using the words 'chopping block', ha. Very American.<br>
Jordan: 'You've tooken it well.' You're thick as fuck.<br>
Marissa is saying everything is OK to Barry. But is it? She seems annoyed still. I like her line: 'I'm not sensitive.' I like her, I hope she doesn't go.<br>
Marissa is 32 but 'looks younger' according to her. I think she looks great. Sarah is bitching about her ex. Get over it! Shit happens. No one cares. Keep that to yourself.<br>
Paul is not single. He's 'with the mother of his child.' That was weird phrasing. His girlfriend? Chad and Jordan are single and ready to mingle. Did someone just say 'slide into my DMs'? Dearie me.<br>
This girl has tattoos ON HER FACE. Rotten. Sallie Axl! Her flirting with Chad is disgusting. I wonder if he goes for girls who look like Jeremy McConnell's neck double?<br>
Chad saying he's 29 to Amelia Lily. 'I used to smoke and drink a lot.' A hell of a lot, you look 40, mate. 'My last partner was 21.' I think you're in there, Amelia.<br>
Jemma can't fall in love with a girl. Trisha can lick pussy but can't 'get down with a girl.' Isn't that getting down with a girl? Gemma wants the girl to go home after sex. Are these two coming onto each other?<br>
Jemma knows she'll end up with a man. Trisha is not so sure. Trisha used to be an escort, but then found Jesus. That's nice.<br>
Helen doesn't want to share a bed with anyone. I wouldn't either. <br>
Jordan and Sam are asking Jemma who she fancies. She doesn't fancy Chad because his vibe is too cocky.<br>
Brandi on Chad: 'He's a boy man.' Haha.<br>
Chad is chatting up every girl in the house. Total fanny rat.<br>
I pressed the Diary Room button. But Paul Danan pressed the fire alarm. The button is at the bottom of the stairs, dummy! It is a bit of a stupid place to have it, right outside the door.<br>
He's recounting the tale of him setting off the fire alarm as if he's just come back from war.<br>
They are now claiming all the beds and asking Derek to tell them ghost stories, haha. God, Jordan and Sam are annoying already.<br>
Paul doesn't want to be in the crazy room. Any room with him in is the crazy room. Paul wants to get some sleep. Try doing less cocaine.<br>
Helen is storylining about the beds. Bedgate! Derek cannot sleep with a lady.<br>
I love those kitchen chairs! I discussed them with Rylan. And I took a picture of the handwash. I'm not sure why.<br>
Gemma actually seems OK, despite her poor life choices with those tattoos. She seems friendly and interested in people.<br>
Karthik wants to talk to Derek about spirits tomorrow. Derek: 'I can't conjure them to me.' Isn't that what mediums do?<br>
I love that pastel pink geometric duvet cover. Sam: 'If you get voted out first, you look like a prick.' Haha. Let's make his dream come true!<br>
Paul doesn't know 'which girl to shoot for.' And 'They're all hot enough for me to date right now.' Chad: 'But not the old lady, even though she's awesome. And they all seem open to me.' Imagine if a girl was talking like that about the men in the house! If he's 29, I'm 5. He's probably the same age as Helen Lederer.<br>
All in all, I'm happy with the housemates who went in. There's not too many reality TV slags (and I mean both men and women) and I think there's a few firecrackers in there.<br>
Fuck me, I've been blogging for about three hours. I'm absolutely knackered. I'm off to eat some crisps. Listen to BB on Blast! Love, peace and harmony! I'm out! <div class="blogger-post-footer"><script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://rpc.bloglines.com/blogroll?id=lightupvirginmary&target=http://lightupvirginmary.blogspot.com/"></script></div>lightupvirginmaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01371404648770257776noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623527747238657704.post-26872535119399865072017-07-26T23:54:00.001+01:002017-07-26T23:54:06.203+01:00Big Brother UK 2017: I'm at the Holiday Inn, meet me outside<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Loud motherfuckers unite</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I thought I'd do one last blog before the final for those who care (and I know there are two or three of you still out there!)<br />
Can you believe we're here now! I can't believe that there are FOUR people I like in the final week. Chanelle going was a shocker. Ellie going was a joy. So here we are.<br />
I think Raph is getting a bit desperate to win this week, Isabelle is unphased, Kieran and Hannah are ready to leave, Deborah is still having fun and Tom... well, Tom improved in the attic. But that's like saying Tom's spelling has improved since he left school. Not a high bench mark.<br />
Ooh tonight looks like fun! A wedding. And Chanelle! And Sukhvinder. Don't come for me, bitches. <br />
Kieran and Deborah are getting married (for a task). But first they have to go on a first date. They are being waited on my some ginger dude in an ugly suit.<br />
I think Deborah does the Nigerian accent when she gets nervous sometimes!<br />
Hannah: 'Did Kieran bring you strawberries?' to Isabelle. 'No, he gave me an STI.' I'm glad that's been mentioned again!<br />
Deborah has got more charm and personality in her elbows than Kieran could ever dream of. He is so INFERIOR to her. Angry little man. Hitting people with pillows, whining about his mattress, moaning about noise. Grumpy, vain little twat. Not even good looking. STD riddled! And he likes being peed on! Just no.<br />
Hannah doesn't want Deborah to 'marry' Kieran. I don't blame her! <br />
All this airtime for Kieran is making me twitch. I bet it's making Raph twitch too, ha.<br />
Hannah looks very pretty as the bridesmaid. Kieran looks an absolute twat in that hat.<br />
Ooh, Sukhvinder has come in for the wedding. Where's Imran! She looks great, too.<br />
OMG! Calling Kieran a 'backseat finalist' and Tom a letdown as the people's housemate. 'You should have just owned it' to Andrew is correct about taking the cash. He should!<br />
Rebecca calling Kieran 'her winner' then going 'you're losing this. People keep coming up to me because of how disloyal you are.' No, they don't. Unless it's your mum and your other clients/ rent boys.<br />
Rebecca: 'Everyone thinks I'm in love with you.' I wonder why! 'It's so hard watching you.'<br />
Keiran doesn't want to stand up for right and wrong. 'What happens if I'm wrong?' His game in a nutshell. Rebecca saying she banged Kieran two hours before they came in the house. Isabelle's face! I LOVE ISABELLE. But Rebecca's not in love with him, lol.<br />
Rebecca calling Hannah selfish and immature. What a dog! Disgusting. Rebecca has been FUCKING LOTAN. How dare she say the public hates Hannah! Hannah: 'My mum loves me.' Rebecca is a gremlin! Straight up racist! 'You're completely out of the running.' Shut up! Jealous! 32 years old! LOL! Get out!<br />
Kieran: 'You've got to take a bollocking on the chin.' You can if you like. I wouldn't. <br />
Hannah is right, Rebecca does discriminate. 'What kind of stupid human being does she think she is?'<br />
Kieran and Tom shitting their pants on the couch about Rebecca. Kieran thought that was 'tame.' It was not. He should have stuck up for his BB Fam.<br />
Isabelle: 'I've got Rebecca's shoes on.' *hides feet* Remember the way Rebecca used to talk about Isabelle, too? Hannah: 'Look what the cat dragged in' about Rebecca, ha. <br />
I can't believe Kieran has a topknot to the wedding. Eek! Tom's best man's speech was balls.<br />
Chanelle has come in singing Florence and the Machine. Aw. How romantic...? Raph is crying. <br />
I loved Chanelle telling Isabelle not to put herself down. 'Young girl's look up to you. You are a backbone to people in this house.' Aw. Hannah: 'That's how you do it.'<br />
Haaaa Chanelle calling Andrew 'sly and snakey. You look like an oompa lumpa. I don't know what you've come dressed as today.' Lol.<br />
Haha, Kieran and Deborah now have to break up and the others have to pick sides.<br />
Deborah, Hannah, Raph and Andrew have won a party with really bad fucking music.<br />
Ooh, Chanelle has come back in! Ooh, Imran! Sue! Rebecca (ugh). Raph and Imran hugging was the cutest.<br />
Imran: 'The other clique didn't win. They lost their members.' Yes!<br />
Andrew is looking for reassurance from Rebecca and Sue that he's not a snake. Rebecca saying Chanelle has an agenda! I have literally heard it all. Oh Sue, I have not missed you one bit.<br />
Chanelle to Rebecca: 'Don't start with me bitch, biggest slag around!' to Rebecca. 'Fucking whore.' OMG.I actually love unfiltered Chanelle. And the look on Raph's face.<br />
'Love, peace and harmony' kills any argument! Chanelle on Rebecca: 'Just because her ten minutes is nearly up, she's trying to get airtime.'<br />
Rebecca saying about Chanelle having sex on TV. Andrew's 'Guess what, three fucking days, and hell's coming' had me laughing for all the wrong reasons.<br />
Who's being called a hippo now? Ellie's already left! Oh it was 'hypocrites'.<br />
Chanelle calling Rebecca 'fame hungry' and 'we'll talk outside.'<br />
Rebecca: 'You want to call me a whore on camera.' <br />
Chanelle fronting her out: 'Yes, you are a whore. You shagged Lotan for a magazine interview. You should know better at your age than to act the way you do, baggy fanny, fuck off, mate. You're embarrassing.' How are we spelling embarrassing, Tom?<br />
Chanelle did not FLINCH! Hannah dragging her away, haha.<br />
Rebecca: 'That's the real Chanelle. You're such a fool, Raph.' Leave Raph alone! <br />
Rebecca is a straight up, lairy strumpet.<br />
Chanelle: 'Come to my hotel tonight, bitch, I'm at the Holiday Inn, meet me outside, see if you're gobby then, silly slag. I can't see no hoes with my hate blockers on.' That's sunglasses to you and me. Class and a half. My heart soared, ha. You can threaten people once you've been in the house and been evicted! 'Move you silly cow, your expiry date is GONE!' <br />
I like the fact Rebecca has gone yet Chanelle is still there. Haha, Sukvinder is now starting on Andrew. Isabelle just sits there, ha. How come she does it so much better than Kieran? <br />
Chanelle is right about Andrew not fighting his own battles. Minions! But I don't really see how he's a snake. The snake noise doesn't even come on when he's on screen.<br />
Raph doesn't want to end their time in a negative way.<br />
Andre calling Chanelle a 'loud motherfucker.' Welllllll.<br />
Andrew to Hannah: 'You and Raph can fuck off out my life.' Hannah pretending to cry. LOVE IT!<br />
Andrew: 'Be prepared for fucking vocal truths.' Andrew is making me cry with laughter. What an absolute knob.<br />
Andrew coming for Isabelle now! Saying she wouldn't sit next to him after he was called a snake! Don't come for Isabelle, you little wally.<br />
Kieran: 'Don't be too over dramatic in the last few days' to Andrew. Well there is a happy medium between being Kieran (wallpaper) and being Andrew (town jester).<br />
Andrew stop making things all about you!<br />
God, I loved that episode. But the fact they had to drag in old housemates to liven things up speaks volumes.<br />
I thought there was going to be a double eviction tonight! What happened?<br />
So who to win? I wouldn't mind out or Raph, Hannah, Deborah or Isabelle. I don't think I've EVER had FOUR people I like in the final, which is weird as I hated EVERYONE except Raph and Arthur at first. The sisters didn't kick into gear until all the misogynistic men left. In my heart, I would love to see Isabelle take it. But I would also be so happy for Raph OR Deborah. So you know what this means. Your new winner is... Tom or Kieran. The vote is too split the other way! Argh.<br />
Thank you so much if you've left me a comment on the blog, sorry if I haven't replied, I read<br />
everything, I'm just super busy with work <a href="https://www.spreaker.com/user/lightupvm" target="_blank">and the podcasts</a> and it's a faff to sign into Blogger and then I forget. But I appreciate you, thank you for reading and sticking by me when I'm so sporadic.<br />
For those not watching the excellent US Big Brother (BB19), I recommend it. Otherwise, I'll be in the CBB streets in a day or three. See you there.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://rpc.bloglines.com/blogroll?id=lightupvirginmary&target=http://lightupvirginmary.blogspot.com/"></script></div>lightupvirginmaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01371404648770257776noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623527747238657704.post-70575294000671602232017-07-18T23:09:00.003+01:002017-07-18T23:09:45.252+01:00Big Brother UK 2017: 'Thick as fuck and desperate for fame'Why, hello again! Back so soon? Oh God, it's the aftermath of Chanelle's £400 shag. Chanelle is still missing Raph, and Raph got drunk without her. They're in LOVE! Not like that. But they love each other and it's sweet. Who cares if he's a consultant! <br />
Jake: 'Your gran's gonna watch this.' Chanelle: 'It's my boyfriend so make it look romantic and cuddly.' It wasn't bad. It was just the moaning I could have lived without.<br />
Jake is saying Charlotte is poisoning Andrew against Chanelle, which is true. Chanelle got the whole night to talk to her boyfriend and Charlotte only got five minutes with her mum, so who wins?!<br />
Hannah on Sam: 'I just feel like he doesn't really stand for much.' I'll say. He stands for jack shit. Hannah: All they want to do is become reality stars.' To be fair, you are on Big Brother. Still, I guess no one watches it these days so you won't become a star.<br />
Finally there's a hairdresser in the house, an increasingly orange Andrew, rather than Helen Wood doing her usual moody undercuts. The haircut he did for Ellie looks OK.<br />
Chanelle has some bed hair going on. 'I feel like a proper dirty stop out.' She did get chicken, and a shag and breakfast in bed. Sounds great. Who could ask for more? A whole night of outside contact, too!<br />
Chanelle prefers Raph to her boyfriend as he doesn't snore but she wants to get her end away at the weekend with Jake. I believe Raph and Chanelle's friendship will endure in the outside world.<br />
Chanelle dishing the dirt to Isabelle and Raph about Charlotte trying to 'attack her character'. <br />
One of the boys has to agree to have a 'back, sack and crack' done. I already know who has it, as I saw it on BOTS, it's Andrew and it looked fucking HILARIOUS. I once tried to wax my own legs and the only thing I've waxed since are my eyebrows. It was excruciating. I cannot imagine the pain of getting your ARSEHOLE waxed. In fact; I thought that was just a made up thing, to be honest. But now I've seen it with my own eyes. Cannot unsee!<br />
I half wish Tom had pressed the button first. I think I'd want my butt doing before my legs because legs are a large surface area! Men shouldn't have shaved legs. Well, not ones who want to sleep with me anyway (form an orderly queue, hairy guys).<br />
Charlotte 'gets her fanny done every month.' I'm just imagining the grow back time in between now. One word: Nair.<br />
Beautician: 'We'll get you up on all fours to do your bum crack.' The housemates are watching! Raph is actually walking away, haaa. What is his problem! I don't think he's in touch with the grooming side of the gay thing. You must suffer like women do, Raph, haven't you heard?<br />
Tom: 'He looks like a roast chicken going in the oven.' That's the funniest thing he's ever said.<br />
Kieran's face watching it all unfold was amazing, like a me watching childbirth. The noises Andrew was making were sublime. You gotta hand it to him; he went the extra mile there. I can't imagine people doing that in a private room, let alone on TV.<br />
Raph is getting to meet a 'Big Brother legend.' Shame it's Josie. Helen Wood would be better, haha. Second Helen Wood mention of the blog. I'll try and get another one in before the end. <br />
Raph singing about combine harvesters to Josie, I love it. He's the cutest. He's such a fangirl.<br />
Josie's advice is awful. 'These people aren't your friends.' THEY ARE! And telling him to do pranks. Fucking pranks! Let Raph be Raph, Awful advice. Should have got crab eyes in.<br />
Chanelle saying 'I just went in the room for chicken.' Haha. <br />
Raph is reporting back what Josie said about Charlotte and Andrew and aligning the outside contact advice with Raph's. Chanelle: 'I don't feel so bad about how red Andrew's balls are now.' Ha.<br />
Chanelle discussing having 'old married couple sex that didn't last long' on TV. Hardly seems worth it.<br />
'Deborah and Kieran are talking about cats.' Finally. That's like when I find a fellow cat lover once I start a new job. That magical moment when you're in the company of people like you. Raph is teasing them about moving in together. I think if they were gonna get it on, they would have done it by now.<br />
Chanelle's vagina is throbbing and she's not had a shower. Sounds like a recipe for thrush to me.<br />
Sam and Ellie have been offered the chance to have sex in the boudoir. Well, it worked out well for Daley and Hazel didn't it. Actually I wouldn't mind seeing Ellie get throttled.<br />
Chanelle: 'Make sure they've changed the sheets.' Ha. Why is BB so obsessed with seeing Sam and Ellie get it on? It's not sexy, it's not interesting, it's disgusting. It's not Love Island. Not one person on my timeline wants to see it and I think I'm pretty much following everyone left watching Big Brother at this point. <br />
The housemates are banishing Raph and Keiran from each team. Not sure what that means. Oh, they can't take part anymore or win any money. I'm worried Charlotte will evict Chanelle as part of this task if she gets the chance. That could really happen! Imagine. Wallpaper evicting the star of the show. And don't get me wrong, Chanelle does get on my nerves at times. But she's genuinely funny and entertaining. Charlotte is neither.<br />
Hannah is doing pranks now. Enough with the pranks, everyone! We're not 12 year old boys at boarding school.<br />
Ellie to Sam: 'You are the six foot three funny guy I've never met before.' Six foot two showmance shit! They are pretending they're having their first date. Bit of a weird first date when you're explaining away your jealously and psychosis.<br />
Ellie looks like she doesn't want to sleep with Sam. Big Brother is basically forcing her to.<br />
Charlotte on Sam: 'When he first came in I thought he was thick as fuck and desperate for fame.' So, what's changed? Charlotte: 'Neither of them are too bright.' Nice thing to say about your BFF in the house! Charlotte: 'This task isn't going to end well.' True.<br />
Sam is having an existential crisis in the boudoir because he likes Ellie. What's the problem? <br />
Ooh they're either not having sex, or they didn't show it. Ellie's nana can come out from behind the sofa now.<br />
PS: Big Brother is 17 today. Happy birthday. I still love you, baby. We don't all age well.<br />
PPS: <a href="https://www.spreaker.com/user/lightupvm/big-brother-uk-2017-the-woodland-distrus" target="_blank">BBUK podcast</a> and <a href="https://www.spreaker.com/user/lightupvm/bb19-ribbit-of-replacement" target="_blank">BBUS podcast</a>, if you fancy 'em.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://rpc.bloglines.com/blogroll?id=lightupvirginmary&target=http://lightupvirginmary.blogspot.com/"></script></div>lightupvirginmaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01371404648770257776noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623527747238657704.post-22138097275400971892017-07-17T23:13:00.002+01:002017-07-17T23:13:33.079+01:00Big Brother UK 2017: Vivid magazine dealingI have picked up the old blogging boots again! Two weeks to go! It's gone slow/fast, hasn't it. How are they going to get rid of everyone? They always manage it, don't they?<br />
VIVID VOMITING, guys. If that doesn't keep you tuned in, what will? It's normally us viewers vividly vomiting about Ellie and Sam's kissing.<br />
Ooh, they are testing them about the money! This should be interesting. The Steal. Like share or SHAFT. <br />
It's mad that Deborah sleeps with Charlotte in Rose Cottage. Shocks me! What about the Exiles? Still, I guess she does have one eye on the other alliance in there.<br />
God, they love a button pushing task on Big Brothers' worldwide, don't they? Job lot of buzzers every year from China, sorted!<br />
The gold team vs the black team! I can't be bothered to write down who is on which. Do you really care? Me neither. In three days time one team will be able to steal all of the money they accumulate, up to 20K.<br />
I love how humpy they are about having to swap bedrooms (each team has to sleep together). Kieran in particular has shown more of an opinion about bed swapping than anything in the house ever. Even Lotan throwing a drink in a woman's face. He is taking his mattress into Thorn Cottage with him. Keiran would rather leave than sleep on someone else's mattress. Leave, then, and take your STDs and bouffy hair with you.<br />
Raph is like a rat up a drainpipe to get the money. Basically you have to press a button anytime an alarm goes off.<br />
Kieran: 'I give you one guess what's wrong' to Big Brother. Big Brother: 'Big Brother doesn't play guessing games.' No, Kieran, you can't sleep in the garden or the lounge (not sure why, think BB is just grinding his gears now). Kieran is risking money from his team's 'prize pot'. Like a pension pot, but probably worth more. I love the way Big Brother is speaking to him. Kieran scuttles off and does as he's told, ha.<br />
I can't watch this task with them eating manky old eggs and vomiting. NOT TODAY. Not any day. I actually feel sick. It's going on FOREVER.<br />
Tom won. But I saw a glimse of vomit coming out of Hannah's nose, so I think she should have won for that, really. Even the vomit GIFs on Twitter are too much for me.<br />
Tom is on the black team. Tom is comparing himself to David and Goliath. 'Don't underestimate the little one.' He must be small if he's calling himself little. Pocket sized prick.<br />
The teams are on 'buzzer watch'. Why are Thicky and Thicky on the same team? So we can still watch them slobber all over each other?<br />
More button pressing! Raph vs Andrew, who blinks first! Andrew, no doubt. Raph did a Luke S with the button and left it too late, but so did Andrew, cos he's a copycat. Don't be too greedy!Mind you, it worked for Jason Burill. And Derrick Lavasseur.<br />
It's interesting watching the housemates eating while button pushing. We don't get to see them eat that often. I'm surprised they can eat after all that egg vom.<br />
Isabelle has been called to the DR and her sister is on the line. Answer the phone, Isabelle! £150 is nothing.<br />
The phone is bronze. Isabelle is bronze. I love Isabelle's scream on the phone. Paris Hilton follows Isabelle on Twitter. Getting to the real gossip there. Paris Hilton is so irrelevant these days she could virtually be on CBB. If she wasn't so loaded. Aw, Isabelle misses her mum's spaghetti bolognese. Cute.<br />
Hannah is missing her mum. Hope Andrew doesn't catch her crying! He'll be furious. Deborah: 'We've taught the world, love your family over everything.' Um, no you haven't. That's a big ask!<br />
'Big Brother has a surprise for you.' Chanelle: 'What is it, chicken and chips?' £400 to spend the night with her boyfriend! Sounds cheap. Can they have chicken and chips with that? Chanelle: 'Oh my God, I've not shaved!' Ha. Is she planning to fuck him! It's basically a conjugal visit. I like the fact they're all shy with each other. I used to be like that sometimes if I hadn't see someone I liked for a while. Sometimes you need ten minutes to get used to them again.<br />
Charlotte to Chanelle: 'Ride that dick!' She learnt that from Mandy.<br />
Jake (Chanelle's boyfriend) is telling Chanelle he doesn't trust Charlotte or Andrew. Might as well just bring in her phone or the paper. He seems a bit boring for her, but who am I to judge true love when I'm just a mean old cat lady?<br />
Isabelle and Sam are talking about life in the outside world and going out in Manchester. Ellie is listening in. Isabelle: 'It's better to go in pairs.' Haaaa.<br />
Chanelle: 'I wish Raph was here' to her boyfriend. 'Have you followed any girls? Have you been on any nights out?' Him: 'No.' Is he locked up or something?! Is he not allowed out?<br />
Ellie is in the DR moaning. 'Other girls make me feel like shit.' You make my favourite programme dogshit. You're absolutely insane.<br />
Raph chugging wine! Hope he goes mental. Oh, he's missing Chanelle. Aw. She missed him too!<br />
Can't they turn the lights down in Chanelle's love nest? I could not sleep without mood lighting. I could not snog under strip lights.<br />
Lol, Raph is shit faced. Raph, don't drink and diary room. It's worse than drunk texting. Oh, he didn't even make it! <br />
Sam likes Ellie. Ellie doesn't want to like Sam. I don't like either of them. All I see on Twit is people complaining about Ellie and Sam. And still they foist it on us.<br />
Oh they've finally switched the lights off in the love shack. OMG Chanelle moaning and groaning! GRIM! It's not so much Love Island as Love Dregs. Not long now. Watch BB19! <a href="https://www.spreaker.com/user/lightupvm/bb19-ribbit-of-replacement" target="_blank">Listen to our BB19 pod</a>! Then <a href="https://www.spreaker.com/user/lightupvm/big-brother-uk-2017-the-woodland-distrus" target="_blank">listen to our BBUK pod</a>! Once you've done all that, Big Brother will be on again. Thanks for reading, you're the best.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://rpc.bloglines.com/blogroll?id=lightupvirginmary&target=http://lightupvirginmary.blogspot.com/"></script></div>lightupvirginmaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01371404648770257776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623527747238657704.post-56842524457424528522017-07-11T23:07:00.002+01:002017-07-11T23:07:23.506+01:00Big Brother UK 2017: Save your energyEarly morning dancing montage! How original. I just watched BB19 again so I'm again pissy with BBUK for being so shit in comparison. Losing in front of your home crowd, indeed!<br />
Deborah getting her message from her baby was cute (and the little girl was gorgeous) but I already saw it on BOTS! Can't they show different stuff on BOTS to the main show? <br />
Charlotte boowooing in the DR that she's not going to get a message from home, you came in with your mum, FFS. She thinks the late entries should have sacrificed their temptations. I kind of see her point, but it's a bit late now. They should have used the energy saving lightbulbs, I guess.<br />
Oh God, Ellie's turn for some first class actressing. Big Brother is going to 'shine a light on it'. Is it Lotan? Is that her mum? Please tell your daughter to get a fucking grip. Why are they always proud? What are they so proud of?<br />
Ellie: 'I'm sorry I took you for granted. Did you get train here?' What about the lightbulb! No time for small talk.<br />
'Have you got a tshirt with my name on?' is vainer than 'Are we being funny, mummy?' Get over yourself! If Ellie wins, I'm emigrating. What am I saying, JASON BURILL won last year. Da fuck.<br />
Charlotte and Sue are seething. Ellie 'forgot to ask about her instagram followers.' My heart bleeds.<br />
Kieran's hair, though! Stop that. OMG his mum has come in clutching a picture of a cat. I didn't have Kieran down as a cat lady. If he is, it makes me like him more. Hold on, he wasn't holding the photo when he came in! Is he ashamed of his pussy? Back to hating him again then.<br />
Sue and Simone: 'They're tolerating us.' They're barely doing that.<br />
I was hoping Andrew was going to get reunited with the ferret. No such luck. Drat!<br />
Andrew turned down the letter! Good man. Strong gameplay. Andrew is now making a funny noise. 'Oooooooooh.' Like an old lady with a knee problem. Victim noises! <br />
OMG that's so cruel to do that do a dog! Oh, she took it! Haha. That's not going to go down well. The dog is gorgeous! I'd take the dog over Charlotte's mum. In fact...<br />
Sam: 'How did the dog get here?' Same way you did, but with more elegance and a better vocabulary.<br />
Ellie is not really a pet person, she's just mad for dick. Sorry to slutshame, but who doesn't like animals? Sicko.<br />
Charlotte and Isabelle have to choose between them who can see their temptation. Bit cruel, isn't it?<br />
Charlotte had her mum in there. But Isabelle came in later.<br />
Isabelle is good to let Charlotte do it. She's so strong! Isabelle didn't look when they showed her mum, ha. Oops.<br />
Mandy telling Charlotte not to sit on the fence. Fuck off! Mandy, she needs a cuddle, not a lecture.<br />
I hate Mandy saying what Chanelle said! 'Daddy says, you gave up your job for this. Take them out one by one, start with Chanelle, move onto Sue, then onto Simone.' She shouldn't be allowed to say that! Get out! <br />
Charlotte: 'That was the best fucking five minutes of my life.' Seek help. Has she never had an orgasm or been to an above average pop concert? <br />
Charlotte piping up to Chanelle cos mummy told her to! Pathetic! Ugh! OMG! 'I'm speaking.' Shut the fuck up. Tragic.<br />
Charlotte: 'That's just my face.' About her resting bitch face. Well, that's true.<br />
Charlotte: 'My job is vocal, all I do is argue with people.' Where can I apply for this? I literally just noticed Charlotte's accent for the first time. I've been watching her on TV for weeks!<br />
Kieran and Raph are arguing about a can of spiced rum and cola. Kieran: 'I'm not going getting it, you go get it.' That's the real Kieran. 'Very selective' - just like his personality. 'Goodwill gesture'? Here's a man who's worked in customer service. A goodwill gesture would be fucking off and not looking back, you fake piece of crap. I don't blame Raph for not shaking his hand after the way he spoke.<br />
Simone is admitting about the bottles. Does anyone care about these bottles!? I don't. Oh, Hannah does. Simone: 'I'm not a liar, and I'm not a bad person.' Not so much debatable as untrue.<br />
All the women keen to have balls tonight. <br />
Kieran giving it the old 'fool me once' George Bush fail speech. I was surprised he managed to get it right.<br />
Charlotte crawling to Isabelle. Isabelle: 'I know I'll be out sooner.' Sooner than Charlotte? Actually, on a vote to evict, she will. And that ain't right!<br />
Chanelle and Charlotte are clearing the air. Charlotte doesn't like being referred to as quiet! What the fuck. Try speaking, then. I prefer Charlotte without a personality. What Chanelle said wasn't malicious in the slightest. It was just a sarcastic comment.<br />
You never see the night cameras anymore, do you? Ellie drawing attention to herself and Sam's dick. I hope they have some condoms in there, cos they're not the brightest sparks, are they? The last thing we need is them reproducing.The only temptation for viewers at the moment is the amount of hype about Love Island on the other side. If I didn't despise showmances, I'd be on it like a Sam up a magazine deal.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://rpc.bloglines.com/blogroll?id=lightupvirginmary&target=http://lightupvirginmary.blogspot.com/"></script></div>lightupvirginmaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01371404648770257776noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1623527747238657704.post-35747283036666833452017-07-10T23:06:00.001+01:002017-07-10T23:06:25.736+01:00Big Brother UK 2017: 'You're the best big brother ever' I just watched Big Brother US and watching BBUK straight after is such a comedown. It feels dirtier than Simone after draining the drink dregs. It's rough as old boots. I'm like Kieran down the clap clinic watching this.<br />
I still find it odd that Sam sleeps in the room with Hannah and the Exiles. He's clearly part of the 'clique'.<br />
Simone is upset she was called 'dangerous', even though she's clearly dangerous as fuck. She will be bundled out like Kim Woodburn within the week, and not just to the David Gest suite. To the bus stop or the court house.<br />
I kind of like Andrew's skinny body, shameful as that is to admit. Shame about his face and voice and personality.<br />
Charlotte sipping that drink and smirking when Andrew mentioned Simone's modelling is your GIF for tonight.<br />
Chanelle and Raph walking off when Simone sat down wasn't cool, even though they're not bitching too badly. They are bitching a little bit.<br />
Oh fuck, I never pay attention to the rules of the shopping task so I've just rewound it. OK, they have to keep the lightbulb lit up but they'll face a range of temptations (sounds familiar). They can also light up a dancefloor. What?! Is this some recycling shit? Some eco-friendly message here, like Ooglies?<br />
Chanelle saw her nana and went 'waaaaa'. Nana: 'You're doing so well.' Chanelle: 'I know.' Ha! I liked Chanelle asking about her rabbits first, then her boyfriend. 'Does he still love me?' I'm glad he does.<br />
Kieran's hair is getting a bit 'Winston' from Steven Goode's year. And that's not a good thing.<br />
Raph's sister is the cutest! Gorgeous. 'You're the best big brother ever.' He might be, but this show isn't. His reaction was cute.<br />
Sue: 'I've had one kick off in the house and you won't see another one.' Okey dokey. Cut to Sue's next kick off in 30 minutes time.<br />
Simone pleased with herself that she can control her anger. Well done, you're a sentient adult (just)!<br />
I keep forgetting Tom is in there now all his lackies have gone. His girlfriend couldn't even be bothered to come in then? No cutch for him! Wales is a bit of a way away, isn't it? 'You need to handle your drink a bit better.' Tell off times! Everyone on Twitter is moaning that Paris was meant to have dumped Tom
but then she phoned him. I do not give a fuck about Tom and his
lovelife. Zzzzz.<br />
Simone digging Tom out for draining the energy out the lightbulb, ha.<br />
Hannha is seeing her sister Mary. She already has one sister in the house! Greed! Can't Deborah see her as well?<br />
Mary: 'You and Deborah are killing it!' I love Hannah crying. Mary: 'Listen to Deborah!' Mary talks exactly the same! Haha, Mary saying Deborah should get with Kieran. I'm glad Mary said Raph and Chanelle are cool.<br />
I love Hannah telling Deborah her mum is happy with Kieran! Then running to tell Kieran! Then Kieran running after Deborah! Aw! He's not good enough for her, but that was cute. But what about the STDs, bruv? NOT GOOD. Put something on the end of it.<br />
Housemates dancing montage! Standard.<br />
The Exiles and the Clique are united in their hatred for Simone. Sam: 'I've got to get her out, she's doing my head in.' Noms talk! As soon as Simone goes up, she's a goner.<br />
Simone doesn't even get a call, she just gets a letter! 'Dear mam, it was great when you stuck that bread up your arse.' Whatevs, no one cares. Bring back Calum Best's letter from home. Legacy.<br />
Simone's kids are proud of her! Is it because she's not punched anyone in seven days?<br />
Kieran going 'she's still a mother'. So cynical! He doesn't give two fucks about Simone. Andrew saying he's happy Simone got her letter. Lies!<br />
Is Simone reading her apology off a cue card? Andrew is being quite sanctimonious tonight.<br />
Simone admitting to Sue she 'did the bottles'. Sue will rat on her, deffo.<br />
Look at the state of Ellie. Jesus. What is she even crying about? Desperate or what? I thought she'd seen a clip of Sam saying he liked Isabelle but not even. That'll be next. Give your head a wobble! Lay off the Smirnoff Ice. What has Sam even done?<br />
Hannah needs to become a counsellor if she's not already. JOURNEY! Check.<br />
Sue is right that Ellie requires a lot of mollycoddling and it's tiring. Ellie whining that Isabelle is better than her. Yes, she is. Also, put a duvet cover on that bed, you filthy beggars.<br />
Sue criticising Chanelle to Raph. Know your audience! Chanelle has good relationships with the sisters and Isabelle. That would bug the hell out of me if someone said that about me. Most of Chanelle's friends are girls, except Raph.<br />
Hannah having to counsel Chanelle now! Poor Hannah, who counsels her? Chanelle: 'No one sticks up for me.' That is so me, haha. It's horrible when you feel like your friends don't stick up for you.<br />
Isabelle's counselling isn't quite as good as Hannah's. 'Who gives a fuck what a 50 year old woman has to say?' Haha. 'There's a lot of people who look up to you.' Let's not go too far.<br />
Sue comes in the room and Chanelle goes off bawling. Oh, put a sock in it, Sue. I don't really get her strategy, going in there and targeting one of the favourites? Is she trying to topple the favourite to become the favourite? She's trying to take down a dictator but she doesn't have the back up. She doesn't have an army. You can't do it alone, Sue. It doesn't work that way. Not even during hurricane season. <div class="blogger-post-footer"><script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://rpc.bloglines.com/blogroll?id=lightupvirginmary&target=http://lightupvirginmary.blogspot.com/"></script></div>lightupvirginmaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01371404648770257776noreply@blogger.com0