Louis Theroux: America's Most Hated Family in Crisis

Some things are so provocatively odious (Richard Littlejohn, Amanda Platell, Jordan) that you become desensitised to the dark heart of evil because it just seems like nothing could be that awful without it being some sick joke. That's how I feel about this shower of shitbags.
Louis has covered this family before, and I've seen them on talk shows, with their whole 'god hates fags, people with cancer deserve it, we're really fucking thick and ugly, blah blah blah.'
Wearing a bandana that says 'thank god for cancer' is like someone getting a Swastika tattooed on their forehead. So ridiculously provocative, that if you're shocked by it, you're the moron, and they've won. But also you've won, because you're not having to grow an overnight fringe before a job interview. It's all fun and games.
Look at her showing off her silly signs. Their comms materials are appalling, they need a brand redesign. Everything looks like a David Icke powerpoint presentation. I honestly feel like she's taking the piss. It doesn't feel like genuine malice to me. It's just a giant attention seek.
LOL to that guy telling Louis he's up there with Pontius Pilate. I don't know who that is, but it don't sound good.
Do these guys hate Muslims, too? I mean, they must, right? Why don't the Taliban go take them down! Fight extremism with extremism! Which is better? I'd like to see that fight on Harry Hill.
This family who've disowned their daughter is tragic, but they're no more bigoted than Zainab and Masood. Hate is hate.
Jack weasel! Sad when he went to visit the daughter who left the cult and she said her dad used to be liberal and in a rock band. It reminded me of how my dad looked in photos before he got into his stupid religion. The power of religious indoctrination can turn the strongest people into mindless sheep; I've seen it happen, and more than once. It's the hardest thing to argue with in the world.
The daughter seemed very wise and knew exactly what that religion was all about; control. As with most religions (if not all). Cults are worse than cancer or car accidents in lots of ways, because the way out is there, they just won't take it. It's a living tragedy, like someone you love with incurable brain damage.
LOL I like her Lady Gaga 'fornicating' remix. Why wont someone shoot that cunt (not Gaga, this old hag)? There's enough people with guns out there. Why aren't people gobbing on her or knocking her out and saying 'it's God's will'? Gift horse times!
This pop video parodying thing is just another attention seek. They'll be parodying pornos next.
This girl with the tsunami wallpaper (very cute- can I get some child abuse curtains to go with that?) looks like she's got fucking ugly since 2006. Proves you get the face you deserve as she's turning into the mother crone before our VERY eyes.
LOL to hearing an 11 year old saying 'they're just a bunch of filthy fags' and telling Louis to shut up. What a well-brought up young man! Delightful child.
So is Louis culpable for feeding the trolls? I don't know. He's not exactly on their side, is he, but do they need the publicity? Should we put them on TV? I don't see why not, really. They're hanging themselves.
It was weird to hear Louis say 'you're deeply wrong and offensive'. I prefer it when he just raises an eyebrow, personally. We KNOW he thinks that.
LOL to them calling the Koran an 'piece of trash'. The Daily Mail would love this bitch! She's a piece of work. Beyond. Oh no, they got to me, because I did just start to feel angry! ARGH! I was rising above it so well!
On an aside: look at the size of the houses these people have in America! I'm jealous.
That realisation the 2nd girl who left the cult had who just had that feeling 'I've got to get out of here'- THAT'S the feeling that you can't force someone to have. That's the feeling a battered wife has to feel, and that you can never talk into her. That's a real epiphany; and some people get one- and some don't, and die, or rot. It's the human spirit- and sometimes you can claw it back. But often not. Thank god she did. Poor thing.
The loathing I feel for parents that don't give a fuck about their children is beyond words. They are the ones going to the 'hottest part of hell'.
'I'm a human being'? Not so much. That wife is a dickhead- 'what he said'. Moron features. Why would God want you to live forever? You're a fucking mess! You're an (un)emotional disaster.
It was interesting when he pulled that girl (who looks like Amber off of Big Brother USA Season 8, incidentally) apart a bit about that boy that she basically has a crush on.
LOL to Louis going 'well, the Bible would say that, wouldn't it'. He's getting feisty in his old age.
Note to Lady Gaga: you need to sue these cunts. They are making your music sound even shitter than it already is. No mean feat.

The Truth About Online Anorexia/ Louis Theroux/ Slumdog Millionaire

Forgive me, folks, I'm about a week behind on TV at the moment, thanks to my stupid aerial, but you can probably still get this stuff on catch up, innit, if it's that bloody good. This is my mish-mash blog, with something for nobody.
And so another asinine TV presenter makes a 'serious' documentary (hi there, Alesha Dixon and Louise Nurding). This time it's crow-faced Fearne Cotton checking out 'pro-ana' websites (good advertising for them, right?) in The Truth About Anorexia.
Fearne looked at an anorexia messageboard and said 'how is this even online?' How naive is she? There's kids being raped online, Fearne, you can download anything in your wildest dreams. It's a free-for-all! It's the INTERNET. Best friend to the mentally ill and the grotesquely lonely. Plus, you're advertising it.
Fearne then went to visit some schoolkids to tell them not to worry about being fat, whilst being very thin herself. What a good role model. It was sick hearing children talk about calories, but all children are doomed now, anyway.
As usual in these programmes Fearne took the hypocritical step of 'trying out' an anorexia 'diet' (again, what a good role model).
She read on a messageboard, 'Fat people can't fit anywhere'. They can fit some places, just not through turnstiles. Fearne then made a collage of thin people to provide 'thinspiration' (giving them ideas) and said 'the last time I made a collage was when I was about 7.' Really, you're missing out, my collages are the talk of the town!
Woah, anorexia is the biggest killer of any mental illness in the UK and one in five girls with it dies of the condition! Wow, that's a lot.
Fearne then went to meet the mother of a girl who died of anorexia aged 19. Her mum told her to 'just eat more food' which is my general feeling towards anorexia. But I'm not so stupid that I think it's that easy. But how can they look in the mirror and think they look nice when they look like frail old women? It truly is a mental illness, like you go blind or something. The pictures are so horrific. It's like a horror-show.
But I don't believe celebrity causes it. Yet I don't believe it helps, either.
How awful to watch your child die of a self-inflicted illness like that.
When I was researching my novel I visited a lot of self-harm sites and they were pretty grim.Those galleries were not pretty, but they were proud of the mutilation. There's fucked-up people out there. In a way it's good they have a community that isn't the whitewashed media, but actually content with no filters is dangerous, too. I'm forever glad there was no internet when I was a young teenager.
Also, Fearne, you're not a children's TV presenter anymore (are you?) Could you stop talking in that patronising voice. Thanks.
Oh I also saw Louis Theroux's show on paedophiles which was excellent, obviously. There's not much to say about it, just watch it. Louis says more with one raised eyebrow than Fearne could in an entire lifetime. The woman in control of the bloody place was worse that the paedos! She was so stiff and robotic she made you side with child molesters. That's not right on any level.
PPS. I was going to do a whole blog on Slumdog Millionaire as I finally watched it, but what's the point, everyone has already seen it, so I'll just say a few irrelevant words. I thought it was beautifully shot, put together well, and I enjoyed it greatly. It deserved all the acclaim. I liked the British call-centre, plus my boyfriend found the Millionaire music playing over a dramatic scene near the end very funny. The dance was a nice touch, too. Probably the best bit was when he 'phoned a friend'- it was a real heart-stopper.
I thought the woman love interest was slightly miscast as she was a little too glam for Dev's character, and the film was a bit depressing at times, (no shit given the subject matter), but those were my only niggles. The children in it were excellent (don't sell her, you bastard dad git) and super-cute. The evil Chris Tarrant figure was really horrid, and excellently realised.
Next: Deal or No Deal: the feature film? I live in hope.

Entertainments: Louis, Louis and Choke

I'm gonna do a mash up because I've got a little to say on a few things, and you know, I've missed you a bit.
I have to say I've not been enjoying the Law and Disorder series of Louis Theroux as much as I thought I would. Am I shallow to want him to go interview Heather Mills or Posh instead? I do like it when he covers serious subjects, but I prefer it when he's in silly mode. It seems like it could be any film maker doing these documentaries; Louis' personality is getting diluted. Maybe I just want a bit of light relief.
Talking of which, my enjoyment of the X Factor semi-final was marred somewhat by an accidental text telling me who had gone out before I got the chance to see it. The X Factor without suspense is justt a bunch of dickheads singing rubbish cover versions. Having said that, it wasn't a bad night. Alexandra has come on miles, and should probably win it. JLS have also improved. But the real talking point was the 'friendship' between Eeeeeeoooghhhhannn and Diana. How many times did they repeat the word 'friendship' on the Xtra Factor? It was blatantly obvious they are in love. It was like watching Hollyoaks on anti-depressants when Diana got the boot. It was half traumatic/ half hilarious watching him sobbing and mewling and running on stage, ruining her final song. Ah, it was kind of sweet though. Or would be if she didn't look ten years older than him, yet still looked her age, which is 17. I personally thought OWEN's rendition of that Busted song off Singstar was absolutely dreadful, and when he declared that it was the sort of rocky (?!) style he felt comfortable with, I really did have to resist the urge to open a vein. As for Diana doing Dido, bad move. She should have done Kate Nash or something, the tweenies voting would have lapped that up. It made me laugh when Cheryl Cole said Diana's fans were 'probably too cool to vote' therefore declaring the entire X Factor audience 'uncool'. Nice.
I'm sure you're keen to know, the reason I missed the X Factor was because I was at the cinema watching Choke. Now, I listened to the audio book of this Chuck Palahniuk book earlier this year. I enjoyed it, but by Chuck's standards, I thought the plot was holey; I never understood why the people who saved Victor's life sent him money in the first place. I also accidentally put my IPod on shuffle at one point and heard the twist at the end... a twist that was inexplicably, completely left out in the film. Yet they kept in the utterly ridiculous son of god schtick which made very little sense. Chuck gets away with some ridiculous plot devices/ twists, because of his convincing writing style. When his style is removed from the equation, and his ideas put into the wrong hands, it's just left looking a bit silly.
So I KNEW the plot and I still found the film inexplicable in parts. The main character, played by Sam Rockwell, was irritating and reminded me of Tom Cruise (urgh). There wasn't enough of the whole choking thing (it is the title after all). It was meant to be a comedy, which threw me, as the book wasn't, and I don't remember laughing. There probably wasn't enough sex in it, for a film about a sex addict. Why would Cherry Daiquiri go out with Denny when he was so bloody ugly? And as for the whole rock storyline; if you're going to take out the end scene of the book (i.e. probably one of the most interesting and dramatic parts, and one which was infinitely better than what the scriptwriter did here, which was go for the easy option), why even keep the stupid rocks in? I thought the rocks were dumb anyway, but at least they had a dramtic purpose in the novel.
There was also excessive use of flashbacks; always bad in films, as 12 million bad Stephen King adaptations can testify to. Anjelica Houston was OK, but that's about as much as I could say.
If you liked Fight Club, run a mile from this. Chuck is one of my favourite writers, but I'd love to know what he makes of this. If someone murdered my novel in this way, I'd go boot them in the face.

Louis Theroux: Under the Knife

It's always good to see Louis Theroux back on our screens, and I heartily enjoyed last night's subject matter, especially since I used to work for a plastic surgeons, as a bookings co-ordinator/ receptionist. We had a surgeon who could put breast implants in in 20 minutes, and like the practice Louis went to, the main receptionist had taken FULL advantage of all the procedures. I was never tempted. If I'd stayed there for years, though, who knows? Working in that environment does normalise surgery, and vanity. And it does take some of the fear away... although less when you see how many re-dos of bodge jobs are carried out on a weekly basis.
The receptionist at the surgery that Louis visited had a tummy tuck which left her with a bloody great scar that looked like she'd been cut in half and a deformed belly button. And she was happy with that. She was mutilated!
Like many other people, I initially half saw this show as an excuse for Louis to get liposuction. I mean, he didn't have to go the whole hog, did he? The surgeon decided Louis had flabby flanks (he didn't) and that he was disproportionate and it couldn't be solved by diet and exercise (it could have in about two weeks).
But you have to give him credit for asking the surgeon why he'd chosen plastic surgery as a career over saving lives whilst the surgeon was operating on him. However, he did rather dance round asking them the obvious question: do you do it just for the money? But he did get the surgeons to admit that they were feeding a superficial lifestyle, designed to make normal people feel insecure about their appearance.
Then there was a woman who's boyfriend had left her, she had plastic surgery and he came back to her! Wow, how romantic. Then when they were marking her up like a cow at the butchers Louis said, 'dont you feel objectified?' That's what offends me most about plastic surgery, that you just become a piece of meat, to be cut and prodded.
Louis also met two men who had pec implants and both ended up looking like they had boobs! And bicep implants! It's just cheating. I really feel it's cheating. (Oh and they had plastic death-masks)
Ultimately I think surgery, like tattoos is a slippery slope and people can get hooked. But unlike tattoos, you can actually die from surgery. So will we see Louis with a perfect little button nose on the future? How freaky would that be?

Louis Theroux: God Hates Fags

I'm so happy that Louis is back on TV, and still looking HOT if I may say so. In tonights episode he stayed with 'the most hated family in America' who hated gay people, dead soldiers, people who weren't married, Princess Diana; virtually everyone in fact. These charming (not at all inbred) people picketed funerals telling dead soldiers grieving families their kids deserved to die because they were sinners for a variety of bizarre reasons, all of which made less sense than the last.
They actually had quite an artistic collection of placards, which ranged from 'fags die, god laughs', 'Liz Taylor: Fag Enabler' to 'God hates Sweden'. (don't ask)
My sense of rage whilst watching this was unbridled. I prayed for a drive-by, or at least for someone to get out of their car and punch them in the face. Someone chucked a drink at one of the 8 year old kids which wasn't quite as satisfying.
Louis almost snapped at one point, but managed to reign it in despite being called dumb and being told he was going to hell for having a baby 'out of wedlock' (I feel a hundred even writing those words).
Louis nearly got to one of the younger girls, and her forced smile started to crack a little, but the brainwashing was just too strong. She said if she got run over by a car her family would be pleased because it would be God's will and she'd go to Hell for sinning.
Which makes me wonder... how many thousands of years will it take for us to eradicate religion from society? The day can't come soon enough.