Yesterday I went to the Wireless Festival, the only kind of festival I will ever go to again, one that lasts one day and doesn’t involve a tent. In fact I'm not sure a bit of park even counts as a festival. But believe me, I’ve done my share of the other kind, and realised it’s not for me. I can say I’m too old, but the truth is, I’m too miserable. I get tired of being outdoors after about 8 hours. Of course, Wireless lasted more than one day, but I didn’t go see the Black Eyed Peas. Call me crazy.
The weather was perfect; hot but no sunshine, so I didn’t need so much as a cardie, but didn’t come home red. The queuing system was a bit annoying- not enough queues, very slow moving, and they binned the small bottle of perfume I had on me (my other alternative was to buy it back for £6- why the fuck should I buy back something I own? I’d rather bin it! *cuts of nose to spite face*
Once in my friend ran the schedule for the day, we started off with a shot of Jagermeister (no I’m not looking up how to spell it) and an ice cream (trying to avoid greenfly sprinkles) and went to see Metronomy. They were pretty good, but what was with the paper plates stuck to their lapels? We unwisely sat near the front, in a load of dust that was once grass, and there were greenflies everywhere. You had to hold your hand over your pint to keep flies and grass out of it, or as my boyfriend put it, ‘It’s like being in Ethiopia.’
A couple of vodka red bulls (£6 each) later I was forced to endure that great gonk fronting The Horrors, shambling around like he’s looking for thruppence. Tuneless and you can barely hear his vocals, yet this feels like a blessing. Still, it was nice just kicking back in the cloud, now we’d found a more suitable spot on the left. We also spotted Lauren Branning from Eastenders around this time. Yet despite about a million people I know in attendance, I didn’t see one person I knew! Peculiar.
Next we went to the Pepsi Max (blergh) stage to watch Naked and Famous (I think they’re called this, but dare not Google those two words at work). By this time we were onto the cider and quite merry. The last four or five songs in their set were pretty excellent, plus we saw a guy in a red shirt doing some AMAZING dancing. Hats off.
I think we saw TV on the Radio after this, but it could have been before, I’m a bit confused now. En route I had some chips (£3) undercooked and vile. My friend had a burger, so who knows if she’s even alive today. On the bright side, the toilets weren’t too bad, and anyone with half a brain could jump the longer queues.
I didn’t like TV on the Radio much, they were a bit shouty but not in the way I like. Another thing I didn’t like: Huey from the (alleged) Fun Loving Criminals doing annoying adverts on the big screens between acts. Truly gutted I missed StooShe and Dot Rotten on the Friday though, they sound amazing(ly awful).
Around this time I bought some donuts (5 for £4, and one was stale). Next (is it next, I don’t remember, although I did stop drinking around this point) we went to see Foals at the Pepsi Max (blergh) stage again. They were alright, but I only know and like one song (Spanish Sahara). Luckily they did it and it was ace. Although too much dry ice and a packed tent meant you couldn’t really see the stage.
After that, we went back round to the main stage to await Pulp. Now, Pulp and I have a long and intimate history, although Jarvis may not know it. I discovered Pulp when I was 14, and His and Hers was pretty much my sex education. Common People came out when I was 15 and was my favourite song of all time for well over five years. Jarvis was everything to me, I had Pulp posters all over my walls, went to arenas and forests to see him. He meant so much to me, but I fell out of love with him a bit when he seemed to shoot his own legacy in the foot, and then disappeared from the scene for a while. Still, those memories mean a lot.
Can you recapture that moment? Can you be 15 again, dancing to Common People in the Roadmender in Northampton, or seeing them live in Birmingham singing Acrylic Afternoons? Well, no, as it turns out. And it’s not really Jarvis’s fault; it feels more like mine. But it was also the crowds.
They came on to Do You Remember the First Time? Which you can’t really go wrong with, followed by one of their best songs ever, Pink Glove. Unfortunately halfway through this we were basically bystanders to an enormous ruck. A girl in a stupid hat was sitting on her boyfriend’s shoulders, when a short girl came and asked her if she could get down because she couldn’t see (er, there’s about 50,000 people here, why not move elsewhere where you can see? Don’t get me wrong, shoulder girl was an inconsiderate prick, but I think that was a requirement of being let into the festival). Shoulders girl refused. Short girl and co threw empty cups at her. Shoulder girl doesn’t respond. Then short girl and co throw a full pint at shoulder girl’s back (about a millimetre away from us, I might add). Shoulder girl gets down. Her boyfriend (a terrier in a denim shirt) turns round and goes ‘who threw that?’ Short girl’s boyfriend proudly declares, ‘me’. To which terrier boy charges at him and attacks him. I’ve never seen anything like it. They were just on the floor attacking each other and wouldn't let go, and about ten other people got involved. There was half one guy’s watch on the floor. My friend then went to shoulder girl and/or short girl, ‘you happy now?’ In the meantime, Pink Glove goes pretty much out the window. I wouldn’t say this was indicative of the crowd as a whole, but there sure were a LOT of idiots there. Also, because there were so many idiots there, we didn’t have the best view, even though we were near the front.
About three or four songs later, I turned to my boyfriend and said, ‘I’m not really feeling it’ and he said, ‘I know, it’s rubbish.’ Pulp! Rubbish? But no, Pulp weren’t rubbish. But the crowd were. This empty feeling also co-incided with me stopping drinking, which may have had something to do with it.
But Pulp did drop one or two clangers. Doing Mile End as the second or third song was pretty uninspired (me: ‘I don’t like Mile End’. My boyfriend: ‘No one does, not even Begbie’.) Ten minutes of This is Hardcore was unbearable then and unbearable now (that goes in there… yeah, we know. But why drag it out over ten minutes?). Following that with the sub-par Sunrise was also a setlist cock(er)-up.
Where was Lipgloss? Where was Razzmatazz? Where was A Little Soul? Acrylic Afternoons seemed a dim and distant memory (it is, it was about 15 years ago I saw it live). It did warm up towards the end (we moved, which helped) and Common People was brilliant, of course, but there was no encore. It felt like the set was half done. In the time Jarvis spent prattling nonsense between songs he could have snuck in Dogs are Everywhere. Also, Jarvis’s Stars in Your Eyes transformation into Rolf Harris is now complete. There’s no going back through that smoky door. And it's funny seeing the rest of Pulp, those cardboard cut-out friends of old, all lined up in a row. But life has changed.
Maybe all reunions feel a bit like this, a bit cold, a bit cash-in (even though Pulp never really broke up). What I'd really have liked is a new album from them, to show us that they do care about us and the music, and not just the cash. Maybe that will come; I hope so.
Disclaimer: I know YOU had an amazing time at Pulp, but this MY blog. And I did really enjoy the day, I just enjoyed the earlier parts more. And that's not right.
On the walk to the tube my friend said it's like going to see your old auntie and her giving you the same biscuits they have you 15 years ago, and they've gone a bit stale. Yet my aunt Morrissey's biscuits never go stale. Because she never went away. Well, she did for a bit. But then she came back guns blazing and got a number 2 record. I want Jarvis to do the same.
Showing posts with label idiots. Show all posts
Showing posts with label idiots. Show all posts
Monday, 4 July 2011
Tuesday, 5 April 2011
Louis Theroux: America's Most Hated Family in Crisis
Some things are so provocatively odious (Richard Littlejohn, Amanda Platell, Jordan) that you become desensitised to the dark heart of evil because it just seems like nothing could be that awful without it being some sick joke. That's how I feel about this shower of shitbags.
Louis has covered this family before, and I've seen them on talk shows, with their whole 'god hates fags, people with cancer deserve it, we're really fucking thick and ugly, blah blah blah.'
Wearing a bandana that says 'thank god for cancer' is like someone getting a Swastika tattooed on their forehead. So ridiculously provocative, that if you're shocked by it, you're the moron, and they've won. But also you've won, because you're not having to grow an overnight fringe before a job interview. It's all fun and games.
Look at her showing off her silly signs. Their comms materials are appalling, they need a brand redesign. Everything looks like a David Icke powerpoint presentation. I honestly feel like she's taking the piss. It doesn't feel like genuine malice to me. It's just a giant attention seek.
LOL to that guy telling Louis he's up there with Pontius Pilate. I don't know who that is, but it don't sound good.
Do these guys hate Muslims, too? I mean, they must, right? Why don't the Taliban go take them down! Fight extremism with extremism! Which is better? I'd like to see that fight on Harry Hill.
This family who've disowned their daughter is tragic, but they're no more bigoted than Zainab and Masood. Hate is hate.
Jack weasel! Sad when he went to visit the daughter who left the cult and she said her dad used to be liberal and in a rock band. It reminded me of how my dad looked in photos before he got into his stupid religion. The power of religious indoctrination can turn the strongest people into mindless sheep; I've seen it happen, and more than once. It's the hardest thing to argue with in the world.
The daughter seemed very wise and knew exactly what that religion was all about; control. As with most religions (if not all). Cults are worse than cancer or car accidents in lots of ways, because the way out is there, they just won't take it. It's a living tragedy, like someone you love with incurable brain damage.
LOL I like her Lady Gaga 'fornicating' remix. Why wont someone shoot that cunt (not Gaga, this old hag)? There's enough people with guns out there. Why aren't people gobbing on her or knocking her out and saying 'it's God's will'? Gift horse times!
This pop video parodying thing is just another attention seek. They'll be parodying pornos next.
This girl with the tsunami wallpaper (very cute- can I get some child abuse curtains to go with that?) looks like she's got fucking ugly since 2006. Proves you get the face you deserve as she's turning into the mother crone before our VERY eyes.
LOL to hearing an 11 year old saying 'they're just a bunch of filthy fags' and telling Louis to shut up. What a well-brought up young man! Delightful child.
So is Louis culpable for feeding the trolls? I don't know. He's not exactly on their side, is he, but do they need the publicity? Should we put them on TV? I don't see why not, really. They're hanging themselves.
It was weird to hear Louis say 'you're deeply wrong and offensive'. I prefer it when he just raises an eyebrow, personally. We KNOW he thinks that.
LOL to them calling the Koran an 'piece of trash'. The Daily Mail would love this bitch! She's a piece of work. Beyond. Oh no, they got to me, because I did just start to feel angry! ARGH! I was rising above it so well!
On an aside: look at the size of the houses these people have in America! I'm jealous.
That realisation the 2nd girl who left the cult had who just had that feeling 'I've got to get out of here'- THAT'S the feeling that you can't force someone to have. That's the feeling a battered wife has to feel, and that you can never talk into her. That's a real epiphany; and some people get one- and some don't, and die, or rot. It's the human spirit- and sometimes you can claw it back. But often not. Thank god she did. Poor thing.
The loathing I feel for parents that don't give a fuck about their children is beyond words. They are the ones going to the 'hottest part of hell'.
'I'm a human being'? Not so much. That wife is a dickhead- 'what he said'. Moron features. Why would God want you to live forever? You're a fucking mess! You're an (un)emotional disaster.
It was interesting when he pulled that girl (who looks like Amber off of Big Brother USA Season 8, incidentally) apart a bit about that boy that she basically has a crush on.
LOL to Louis going 'well, the Bible would say that, wouldn't it'. He's getting feisty in his old age.
Note to Lady Gaga: you need to sue these cunts. They are making your music sound even shitter than it already is. No mean feat.
Louis has covered this family before, and I've seen them on talk shows, with their whole 'god hates fags, people with cancer deserve it, we're really fucking thick and ugly, blah blah blah.'
Wearing a bandana that says 'thank god for cancer' is like someone getting a Swastika tattooed on their forehead. So ridiculously provocative, that if you're shocked by it, you're the moron, and they've won. But also you've won, because you're not having to grow an overnight fringe before a job interview. It's all fun and games.
Look at her showing off her silly signs. Their comms materials are appalling, they need a brand redesign. Everything looks like a David Icke powerpoint presentation. I honestly feel like she's taking the piss. It doesn't feel like genuine malice to me. It's just a giant attention seek.
LOL to that guy telling Louis he's up there with Pontius Pilate. I don't know who that is, but it don't sound good.
Do these guys hate Muslims, too? I mean, they must, right? Why don't the Taliban go take them down! Fight extremism with extremism! Which is better? I'd like to see that fight on Harry Hill.
This family who've disowned their daughter is tragic, but they're no more bigoted than Zainab and Masood. Hate is hate.
Jack weasel! Sad when he went to visit the daughter who left the cult and she said her dad used to be liberal and in a rock band. It reminded me of how my dad looked in photos before he got into his stupid religion. The power of religious indoctrination can turn the strongest people into mindless sheep; I've seen it happen, and more than once. It's the hardest thing to argue with in the world.
The daughter seemed very wise and knew exactly what that religion was all about; control. As with most religions (if not all). Cults are worse than cancer or car accidents in lots of ways, because the way out is there, they just won't take it. It's a living tragedy, like someone you love with incurable brain damage.
LOL I like her Lady Gaga 'fornicating' remix. Why wont someone shoot that cunt (not Gaga, this old hag)? There's enough people with guns out there. Why aren't people gobbing on her or knocking her out and saying 'it's God's will'? Gift horse times!
This pop video parodying thing is just another attention seek. They'll be parodying pornos next.
This girl with the tsunami wallpaper (very cute- can I get some child abuse curtains to go with that?) looks like she's got fucking ugly since 2006. Proves you get the face you deserve as she's turning into the mother crone before our VERY eyes.
LOL to hearing an 11 year old saying 'they're just a bunch of filthy fags' and telling Louis to shut up. What a well-brought up young man! Delightful child.
So is Louis culpable for feeding the trolls? I don't know. He's not exactly on their side, is he, but do they need the publicity? Should we put them on TV? I don't see why not, really. They're hanging themselves.
It was weird to hear Louis say 'you're deeply wrong and offensive'. I prefer it when he just raises an eyebrow, personally. We KNOW he thinks that.
LOL to them calling the Koran an 'piece of trash'. The Daily Mail would love this bitch! She's a piece of work. Beyond. Oh no, they got to me, because I did just start to feel angry! ARGH! I was rising above it so well!
On an aside: look at the size of the houses these people have in America! I'm jealous.
That realisation the 2nd girl who left the cult had who just had that feeling 'I've got to get out of here'- THAT'S the feeling that you can't force someone to have. That's the feeling a battered wife has to feel, and that you can never talk into her. That's a real epiphany; and some people get one- and some don't, and die, or rot. It's the human spirit- and sometimes you can claw it back. But often not. Thank god she did. Poor thing.
The loathing I feel for parents that don't give a fuck about their children is beyond words. They are the ones going to the 'hottest part of hell'.
'I'm a human being'? Not so much. That wife is a dickhead- 'what he said'. Moron features. Why would God want you to live forever? You're a fucking mess! You're an (un)emotional disaster.
It was interesting when he pulled that girl (who looks like Amber off of Big Brother USA Season 8, incidentally) apart a bit about that boy that she basically has a crush on.
LOL to Louis going 'well, the Bible would say that, wouldn't it'. He's getting feisty in his old age.
Note to Lady Gaga: you need to sue these cunts. They are making your music sound even shitter than it already is. No mean feat.
Wednesday, 24 February 2010
Reality! : Tool Academy
Remember that bit in Borat when he's on the bus with those moronic, braying, racist 'frat boys' (whatever that is) watching the Pamela Anderson porno? Well this show is like that, but on a loop, like in A Clockwork Orange.
Tool Academy puts a bunch of 'tools' (yes they really are using it in that sense) nominated by their partners on a reality show where they think they're there to 'party and win 100K' (yeah like that show exists). Apparently in previous years all the tools were men, but this year there's some women tools (yes this is the third series). Actually, they are being revealed as absolute pricks.
Grown men and women bragging about not having jobs, sleeping around, having rubbish tattoos and generally shouting and causing a scene like the worst party you could ever imagine. That's what this show is. They are so wholly unpleasant that it's almost unbearable to watch. ALMOST.
In the first show (which may well be the only one I watch) the partners watch as the tools 'party' which seems to involve trying to get off with each other, shouting into the camera about how brilliant they are, and finally, having a punch up.
Incidentally, one of them looks exactly like SHEA LE BOOF and no, as ever, I'm not looking up how to spell that. One guy is about 5 foot. Oh, that's the same guy. His name is 'Chasyn'. One guy said 'look at this body' so I did; it was fat. One is a lesbian who looks a bit like Maggie Gyllenhaal (also not looking up how to spell!) with a rather pretty girlfriend. One other girl said she grew up in a brothel, so how can she be faithful?!
If you saw your partner ON TELLY saying they were SINGLE and were going to fuck everyone in sight, really, what more is left to be said? Even Cheryl Cole could get that message.
Remember when Noirin's boyfriend on Big Brother did that kind of weird sexist doggy-style dance thing (it must have a name- I'll call it the twat dance) in the mirror where you mime kind of slapping someone around? Someone just did that.
One girl cried when they saw the video; the rest were just angry. Why bother, just leave! Oh, then there's no TV show.
So then they told them they were on Tool Academy. So probably then, outed as a tool, you'd leave. But no, because it's a TV show.
Oh, here's the host from Tool Academy. What's he going to be like, I wonder? Ah, a cardboard cut-out of a man.
They had this anti 'counselling session' where they show then videos of their 'tool' partners saying they are single or their partners are idiots. Lovely. More fighting! Jacob, the fat tool, then called the straight girl tool a 'ho' and talked possessively about 'his girl' who he didn't give two fucks about two seconds earlier. Nice. Oh then he called her a 'whore'. Delightful.
He was just insanely jealous about nothing! Even though he's the one who was in the wrong! What an arsehole. The straight girl tool looked smug when they showed the video of her being awful. Urgh.
I think I've heard the word 'tool' about 75,000 times in the past hour. I don't believe I know any men who talk about women behind their back like these people do. I'm not even sure these people exist.
So mini-Shea walked out because 'he's not a tool'. I hope he watches this show back in ten years time and weeps. Or gets AIDS. One or the other.
Apparently Mexico rhymes with 'Sexico'. In it's defence Mexico looks absolutely BEAUTIFUL! The beach looks gorgeous. I wanna get married there.
I'll leave you with some words from Brian Molko: 'I'm a fool, who's tool is small, it's so minuscule, it's no tool at all.'
Tool Academy puts a bunch of 'tools' (yes they really are using it in that sense) nominated by their partners on a reality show where they think they're there to 'party and win 100K' (yeah like that show exists). Apparently in previous years all the tools were men, but this year there's some women tools (yes this is the third series). Actually, they are being revealed as absolute pricks.
Grown men and women bragging about not having jobs, sleeping around, having rubbish tattoos and generally shouting and causing a scene like the worst party you could ever imagine. That's what this show is. They are so wholly unpleasant that it's almost unbearable to watch. ALMOST.
In the first show (which may well be the only one I watch) the partners watch as the tools 'party' which seems to involve trying to get off with each other, shouting into the camera about how brilliant they are, and finally, having a punch up.
Incidentally, one of them looks exactly like SHEA LE BOOF and no, as ever, I'm not looking up how to spell that. One guy is about 5 foot. Oh, that's the same guy. His name is 'Chasyn'. One guy said 'look at this body' so I did; it was fat. One is a lesbian who looks a bit like Maggie Gyllenhaal (also not looking up how to spell!) with a rather pretty girlfriend. One other girl said she grew up in a brothel, so how can she be faithful?!
If you saw your partner ON TELLY saying they were SINGLE and were going to fuck everyone in sight, really, what more is left to be said? Even Cheryl Cole could get that message.
Remember when Noirin's boyfriend on Big Brother did that kind of weird sexist doggy-style dance thing (it must have a name- I'll call it the twat dance) in the mirror where you mime kind of slapping someone around? Someone just did that.
One girl cried when they saw the video; the rest were just angry. Why bother, just leave! Oh, then there's no TV show.
So then they told them they were on Tool Academy. So probably then, outed as a tool, you'd leave. But no, because it's a TV show.
Oh, here's the host from Tool Academy. What's he going to be like, I wonder? Ah, a cardboard cut-out of a man.
They had this anti 'counselling session' where they show then videos of their 'tool' partners saying they are single or their partners are idiots. Lovely. More fighting! Jacob, the fat tool, then called the straight girl tool a 'ho' and talked possessively about 'his girl' who he didn't give two fucks about two seconds earlier. Nice. Oh then he called her a 'whore'. Delightful.
He was just insanely jealous about nothing! Even though he's the one who was in the wrong! What an arsehole. The straight girl tool looked smug when they showed the video of her being awful. Urgh.
I think I've heard the word 'tool' about 75,000 times in the past hour. I don't believe I know any men who talk about women behind their back like these people do. I'm not even sure these people exist.
So mini-Shea walked out because 'he's not a tool'. I hope he watches this show back in ten years time and weeps. Or gets AIDS. One or the other.
Apparently Mexico rhymes with 'Sexico'. In it's defence Mexico looks absolutely BEAUTIFUL! The beach looks gorgeous. I wanna get married there.
I'll leave you with some words from Brian Molko: 'I'm a fool, who's tool is small, it's so minuscule, it's no tool at all.'
Wednesday, 20 May 2009
BT= Idiots
Exitainment reserves the right to go a bit Watchdog, but only on occasion. Did you hear Anne Robinson's coming back? Hurrah, she has ended the Campbell tyranny. Aw, I kinda liked him a bit though. And Julia. Not that charisma-void android woman off the One Show though.
Anyway! This month my BT bill came for three times the usual amount; not surprising as it was quarterly, when normally I pay monthly. I called up to be told I had set up the quarterly direct debit! That must have been the other side of my split personality, right? So can I change it back to monthly, which I have been paying happily for the past year? No.
I can however pay the quarterly amount back in three lumps. But if I change the direct debit now 'people will get confused and it will be a whole lot of hassle'. When I got a bit angry, he said 'I'm working with you, can you work with me?' No because I've worked all fucking day and I just want life to run as it was before someone pressed the idiot button at BT towers! What does BT stand for anyway, Bastard Twats?
So now I have to wait until the 17th august to reinstate my monthly direct debit, for no particular reason I can ascertain (except he couldn't be fucked).
Conclusion: BT are wankers. Oh and their call-back system is nice in theory, but if your battery goes, don't expect them to ring you back a couple of minutes later, because they DON'T.
And no I DON'T want to take your customer survey, here's my thoughts, though, you can have them for free!
And relax.
Anyway! This month my BT bill came for three times the usual amount; not surprising as it was quarterly, when normally I pay monthly. I called up to be told I had set up the quarterly direct debit! That must have been the other side of my split personality, right? So can I change it back to monthly, which I have been paying happily for the past year? No.
I can however pay the quarterly amount back in three lumps. But if I change the direct debit now 'people will get confused and it will be a whole lot of hassle'. When I got a bit angry, he said 'I'm working with you, can you work with me?' No because I've worked all fucking day and I just want life to run as it was before someone pressed the idiot button at BT towers! What does BT stand for anyway, Bastard Twats?
So now I have to wait until the 17th august to reinstate my monthly direct debit, for no particular reason I can ascertain (except he couldn't be fucked).
Conclusion: BT are wankers. Oh and their call-back system is nice in theory, but if your battery goes, don't expect them to ring you back a couple of minutes later, because they DON'T.
And no I DON'T want to take your customer survey, here's my thoughts, though, you can have them for free!
And relax.
Tuesday, 17 February 2009
Freaky Eaters: The Return!
Here's the news: when people call you bubbly, it's not a compliment. It means you're fat.
They have new presenters now; good, the old ones were really intimidating and weird. The new ones are more kid's TV and bearable.
Tonights subject Nikita was addicted to burgers and bacon; mmm, dead flesh. Her mum said 'you hair has gone stringy from your diet'; no that's just a bad bleach job, love (I should know, I have one!) Then her partner of 11 years said he was going to leave her 'if things didn't change'- aw.
Mmm, the dead pigs hanging up were a nice touch. The statistics of her eating in a year were: 300 rashers of bacon, 1875 slices of bread, 200 cans of beans and sausages, 60KGs of chips and 250 beefburgers. What a waste of food to have that all splodged all over the place just to prove a point. There are people starving in the world you know (believe me, I do).
As usual, I could relate to the poor unfortunate freak, especially in the psychologist's chair, because I am one. Recently I had counselling about my own eating disorder and it was very obviously linked to me needing things to be safe, familiar and heavily controlled by me. Sadly I only had 6 sessions and she told me I needed a year or two with a decent psychotherapist. So my stupidness lingers on.
I felt physically sick when she ate that tomato and cucumber together. Tomatoes have runny stuff in them! Eek! *childish*
What was that bit where they tried to force her to have a conversation with a stranger about? I'd run screaming if they did that to me.
Then she tried natural yoghurt. Yes, the smell is familiar from the LAST TIME YOU HAD THRUSH. Who would EAT THAT??? It makes me want to cower in a corner.
Oh my God, I don't want to get gout. I had a swollen ankle the other week! Panic stations!
Ooh, the nutrition guy said 'schizm'. That was sad when the burger and sausages girl's mum said she was still harking back for the old Nikita. My mum will get the lightupvirginmary she is given. It's her bloody fault I'm nutritionally inept! (It's not actually; I'm a grown woman and need to get a grip)
It was telling when she went out for Tapas and just didn't like anything. That's how I feel; I just DON'T like anything. And also, I wouldn't eat in public like that if you paid me. Even less so with a TV camera down my mush.
That was both cruel and embarrassing when they made her sing; I used to do gymnastics when I was 9, but it doesn't mean I want some pushy gimp to stick me in a leotard and tell me that's when I was most happy.
Do you think I'm getting my own issues mixed up with the programme much? I thought her boyfriend was a little hard on her; but I guess you do get sick of it after 11 years. I'm definitely sick of it after 25-odd (I actually ate OK up until I was 3).
How fucking scary is the end bit of that show, where you're forced to eat a whole mean, with everyone piling on the pressure and a camera in your face? I'd rather run naked down the street than put up with that shit. She was BRAVE. Harry Hill may laugh (and I do too) but it's fucking hard being nutritionally retarded. It's a social and logistical nightmare that never ends. And it is all just in your head; but so's anorexia, and that kills people regularly. People say 'why cant they just eat?' or 'why can't you just try something?' But it's just a mental headfuck. It's just something hard to understand and easy to mock.
And then her boyfriend was like 'I think deep down you're enjoying it, you're just unsure, push on.' Don't tell her what she does and doesn't like. It's not her tongue's fault it tastes funny, it's her BRAIN.
I guarantee she'll be mainlining tins of burgers and sausages within two weeks. No one would put themselves through that hell every mealtime. It must take years to undo the damage. I think I'll probably just take the heart attack/ diabetes/ high cholesterol. I'd rather die of that crap than get Alzheimers for twenty years.
Low energy... always ill... yes, that does sound like me. And I have stringy hair. But don't you dare call me bubbly!
They have new presenters now; good, the old ones were really intimidating and weird. The new ones are more kid's TV and bearable.
Tonights subject Nikita was addicted to burgers and bacon; mmm, dead flesh. Her mum said 'you hair has gone stringy from your diet'; no that's just a bad bleach job, love (I should know, I have one!) Then her partner of 11 years said he was going to leave her 'if things didn't change'- aw.
Mmm, the dead pigs hanging up were a nice touch. The statistics of her eating in a year were: 300 rashers of bacon, 1875 slices of bread, 200 cans of beans and sausages, 60KGs of chips and 250 beefburgers. What a waste of food to have that all splodged all over the place just to prove a point. There are people starving in the world you know (believe me, I do).
As usual, I could relate to the poor unfortunate freak, especially in the psychologist's chair, because I am one. Recently I had counselling about my own eating disorder and it was very obviously linked to me needing things to be safe, familiar and heavily controlled by me. Sadly I only had 6 sessions and she told me I needed a year or two with a decent psychotherapist. So my stupidness lingers on.
I felt physically sick when she ate that tomato and cucumber together. Tomatoes have runny stuff in them! Eek! *childish*
What was that bit where they tried to force her to have a conversation with a stranger about? I'd run screaming if they did that to me.
Then she tried natural yoghurt. Yes, the smell is familiar from the LAST TIME YOU HAD THRUSH. Who would EAT THAT??? It makes me want to cower in a corner.
Oh my God, I don't want to get gout. I had a swollen ankle the other week! Panic stations!
Ooh, the nutrition guy said 'schizm'. That was sad when the burger and sausages girl's mum said she was still harking back for the old Nikita. My mum will get the lightupvirginmary she is given. It's her bloody fault I'm nutritionally inept! (It's not actually; I'm a grown woman and need to get a grip)
It was telling when she went out for Tapas and just didn't like anything. That's how I feel; I just DON'T like anything. And also, I wouldn't eat in public like that if you paid me. Even less so with a TV camera down my mush.
That was both cruel and embarrassing when they made her sing; I used to do gymnastics when I was 9, but it doesn't mean I want some pushy gimp to stick me in a leotard and tell me that's when I was most happy.
Do you think I'm getting my own issues mixed up with the programme much? I thought her boyfriend was a little hard on her; but I guess you do get sick of it after 11 years. I'm definitely sick of it after 25-odd (I actually ate OK up until I was 3).
How fucking scary is the end bit of that show, where you're forced to eat a whole mean, with everyone piling on the pressure and a camera in your face? I'd rather run naked down the street than put up with that shit. She was BRAVE. Harry Hill may laugh (and I do too) but it's fucking hard being nutritionally retarded. It's a social and logistical nightmare that never ends. And it is all just in your head; but so's anorexia, and that kills people regularly. People say 'why cant they just eat?' or 'why can't you just try something?' But it's just a mental headfuck. It's just something hard to understand and easy to mock.
And then her boyfriend was like 'I think deep down you're enjoying it, you're just unsure, push on.' Don't tell her what she does and doesn't like. It's not her tongue's fault it tastes funny, it's her BRAIN.
I guarantee she'll be mainlining tins of burgers and sausages within two weeks. No one would put themselves through that hell every mealtime. It must take years to undo the damage. I think I'll probably just take the heart attack/ diabetes/ high cholesterol. I'd rather die of that crap than get Alzheimers for twenty years.
Low energy... always ill... yes, that does sound like me. And I have stringy hair. But don't you dare call me bubbly!
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