Wednesday, 29 January 2014

Celebrity Big Brother 2014: The Final - He wouldn't say boo to a ghost

Well, here we are. I'm not as excited about this final as the whole world seems to be, as it's boring when you know who's gonna win, especially when it's a ruddy-faced bigot. But imagine if there were a shock? Then we'd be talking. I'm going to vote for Luisa and Dappy, as I don't think there's much point voting for Casey. OMFG I just voted for Jim by accident then I had to vote for Dappy and Luisa twice to cancel it out. Fumble fingers.I probably just sealed Casey's fate.
It's raining. God is displeased with the potential Jim win. Liz got cheers! Put that tongue away, Lee. Finally, our chance to boo him. Where's Evander?
The last supper! Nothing will ever beat 'my England, my kryptonite' with Heidi demanding more wine.
Casey's speech: 'Dappy, you have a lot of goodness in your body.' OK. Sam's speech: white noise.
If Ollie really likes Sam, why doesn't he try and get off with her? It's not that hard to do. Just pucker up!
Dappy's speech was cute. I believe he does love everyone there. That was nice what he said to Jim. 
'Follow this shit' is a good point: they need to cast the next Big Brother wisely and capitalise in this one's success. 
Aw, it was Casey. Interesting outfit she's got on. She looks beautiful. No people getting evicted two by two like last year at least. No Janice and Mario shame! No vote closing before the show even starts, hehe!
LOL to Jasmine's face when Casey was talking! What a sourpuss. The eye is open! No one is booing Casey, but they're booing Lee and Jasmine! Good, glad he's getting his abuse at last.
Casey is being charming and lovely. I'm so glad the crowd are backing her. I was expecting the interview to be shorter, too, so I'm glad she got a reasonably decent amount of time. Bit mean of Emma to say go and see your friends and 'fam-LEE' though.
Why is Luisa getting booed tonight. Sam's cheers are quite lacklustre. YES, Sam is out next. That was the right result. I don't like her dress, she looks like Jackie Collins. This interview is going to be SO BORING.
We're timing Sam's interview. It was five minutes long. How come they never mentioned Sam being ill in the whole time she was in there, apart from the boils? I feel a bit sorry for her, because everyone's been so hard on her and maybe she was really sick? I mean, who is entertaining when they're sick? I'm not.
Mind you, illness is no excuse for that interminable fauxmance. She said she'll go Borough Market, but I don't think she'll be up for the Tate. Are we going to have to sit through these 'highlights' again when Ollie goes? Save us!
Jim said he didn't hold hands but he's holding Dappy's hand now. I knew it would be Luisa next somehow. My boyfriend just said, 'who on earth is voting for Ollie? That's a real worry.'
I like the fact Luisa booed the crowd right back. 'Let's talk about sex.' Pathetic eviction song. Luisa's giving her 'no bullshit' speech. It's like a mantra. She kind of reminds me of Rachel Reilly from BBUS in a way, just no filter, doesn't give a fuck, totally herself, obnoxious, entertaining.
Me and James just cried with laughter at 'wouldn't say boo to a ghost'. Ghosts don't mind if you say boo to them! That's the international language of ghosts. I missed most of her interview because we were crying with laughter at that.
Luisa: 'I love Dappy's dick!' They should have asked her what she thought about Evander Holyfield's homophobia.
Dappy is doing the 'I'm next' talk. Ollie's third! What is Ollie wearing, he looks like he's got his dressing gown on. It's got a bow on the back. Aw, sappy Ollie. How does he cope in the world?
I like the way Jim and Dappy are sitting on the couch cuddling. Who'd have thought those two would be there at the end.
This interview is going to suck. I think the word 'nice' has been said about 50 times. 'It's all about Ollie, baby.' Ollie should go, 'At least I beat you, Luisa.' WOULD Ollie say boo to a ghost? Depends what the cue cards say, I guess. Ollie as downgraded his epic London date to 'dinner'.
That meant so much to Dappy, you know. He was desperate to win. I don't think I've ever seen the final two so close, kissing each other and everything, are they gay or what, ha. 'I told you.' Jim look pissed off when he won. I like Dappy's zebra trousers. LOL Tulisa is there.
My boyfriend just pointed out that Dappy did come a close second after all. Dappy's going on about his mum and his dick again. Jim's gonna check out all Dappy's DVDs and videos when he comes out.
Jim and Dappy's fishing show FTW.
Dappy: 'I'm more of a softie than Lee Ryan.' Dappy's interview was too cute. It actually feels like he did go on 'journey' from dickhead to sexist to softie. He actually is 4 Real, in his own way.
I feel NOTHING seeing Jim in the Big Brother house on his own, but it's the same way I felt when Charlotte won six months ago. Goodbye house, goodbye stairs. Compared to watching Tim win Big Brother Australia a few weeks ago, which was magical and moving, this is empty and embarrassing. This is a country-wide humiliation.
As I typed in my final labels, one that came up was 'jim davidson is a cunt.' I clicked on it, and up came this blog by me:
In case you're too scared to click, here's a quote from the man himself, about Brian Dowling, two times Big Brother winner: 'He might be gay, poof, shirtlifter, sausage jockey, whatever, it wasn't the fact he was gay, it was the fact he was an arsehole.' These are words from JIM'S MOUTH, you can look up that Piers Morgan show and watch him say it HIMSELF.
OMG, why didn't I find this sooner?! ARGH! That blog ends with the words: 'Jim Davidson; another thing from the 80s to put in the dustbin.' I guess you can't keep a good man down, right?
I also found this one about Hell's Kitchen: which isn't even THAT edition of Hell's Kitchen, but I also tagged Lee Ryan in that post, which is peculiar. Was he in that season? People make you doubt your own mind but if I'm calling Jim a sexist, racist wife-beater in 2007, and it's now 2014, it's not like I fucking DREAMT IT. Stop erasing the past already.
I've heard too many people say that housemates should be judged on their time in the house, and largely I agree, but NOT in this case, and NOT when a comment he made, that had 300 complaints, was about the ultimate Big Brother ALL STAR. Don't pretend you like Big Brother, those who voted for him. You didn't do your research and you made a mistake. And you know what? He will fuck up. He won't keep that act up indefinitely. And then I'll be the one like Dappy saying, 'I told you.' You know I will!
I note Emma did not mention Frank Carson's dressing room and him besmirching the name of a dead man. I notice a lot of things, actually. All of them bad. A sad end to a brilliant series. What you gonna tell your daughter?

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