Sunday, 19 January 2014

Celebrity Big Brother 2014: How could this evening be improved? I could die.

Greetings, Earthlings. Stop arguing with me on Twitter already! I used to have a policy that I didn't look on Twitter when I was writing my blog as I didn't want it to influence my views. Now I have to go on Twitter just to get a restraining order against all the people who have a different opinion to me. We think different things! Our experiences shape our views! We are unique snowflakes! I don't MIND debating about things, but the amount of blind Jim support, blind Luisa hate, etc, is tiring. ALL of the people in there are multi-faceted. Lee Ryan probably has a couple of redeeming features. Now let's all just RELAX OURSELVES. I will never vote for Dappy or Jim, due to their offensive views. If you can vote for them and sleep at night, go right ahead, cos I still want them in the house! Everyone's a winner. Cheers, bruv.
Anyhoo. On with the show. LOL to Jim pointlessly bashing toiletries around to annoy Luisa. That's some low level warfare right there.
Luisa is being pathetic trying to keep Jim awake, but to be honest, they're both arseholes. Luisa's got the pots and pans out, Evel Dick stylee! They were doing this on BBAU this year too, making lots of noise to irritate the fuck out of each other. Noise pollution. Jim needs to keep the moaning to a level where it's amusing and not just annoying, he's just coming off depressing right now.
As I suspected, any alleged entertainment between Sam and Ollie is part of a task as they can't work without a script.
Why does Casey have to defend being a glamour model? Annoying. Jim showing her how to be sexist against herself. Nice.
Jim is being a spiteful cunt as usual and pretending it's humour. Why is Liz doing stand up? Oh, she's slagging off their style. Liz is unleashing her inner bitch here. Haha, she's slagging off New Look and Primark. That's what I want from my Liz Jones!
Aw, Lee is pretending he can play the gee-tar. He needs someone to squeeze his ballbags before he can sing in his usual register. Thought Linda was a bit cruel in her voting as Lee was obviously going for the sympathy vote there and it didn't pay off.
Good on Casey getting the boobs out, they are impressive. They beat Dappy's singing, anyway. Oh Jim, get out of Dappy's butt. You know you don't like it up there, no matter how much you pretend to.
Sam and Ollie's scene reminds me why I don't watch structured reality shows. I just went to get some chocolate. Sexting Jim? Fucking hell. Is that Digitalism or MGMT playing? They deserve NEITHER. WTF Ollie and Sam won? Liz and Casey were both better. Even Lee was better. Even Lionel was better and he's gone.
Is Luisa trying to push Jim to the point where he punches her? If so, I hope it works, so he gets thrown out and she gets a slap*. *NB: This is a joke. Because they're both driving me mad right now. I don't see the 'Luisa is bullying Jim' thing. Jim is no wallflower, is he?
Jim checked out the party spoils and decided to go bed. What a curmudgeon. He's not in the mood for dancing. Nor is Liz, by the looks of it. I wish we could just give Liz a big hit of MDMA. It would change her life forever. Anti-anxiety and then some.
LOL to All Rise being played. Classic. 'How could this evening be improved for you?' Jim: 'I could die.'
Luisa is always teasing Dappy sexually! He's a lamb to the slaughter. He's sozzled again. Dappy's liking Luisa and Casey's 'knockers'. He really thinks Luisa has got hard nipples for half an hour. No one in that house is that sexually arousing.
Lee and Casey go to psychics, which says it all really. Gullible twats. Jim to Casey: 'He could have you whenever he wants.' Nice. True, though.
I like Casey again, actually. She's sweet and lovely. It's a shame she's so forgiving as people could take real advantage of her. Like Lee for example. Maybe she'd be better off with Dappy? Or Ollie? My friend made a very good point today that Ollie has it all, looks, good personality, style, but he just has no sex appeal whatsoever. And it's true! I bet if you took down his pink trousers, there'd just be a plastic mound down there, like an action man. And that is how this blog ends.

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