Monday, 27 January 2014

Celebrity Big Brother 2014: I rest my Casey

I was saving that title for when Casey got evicted, but as she won't get evicted til the final now, I'm wheeling it out. Hope you like it.
The unravelling of Lee Ryan, hey? I think that rat's already unraveled. There's just a tail left. 'Why am I suddenly being perceived as a love rat?' Suddenly?! I see he's already been doing the apology tours on Twitter, probably at gunpoint.
Lee Ryan's pasty body makes me sick. Dappy's skinny one don't look much better. 
Casey's mum! Lee's doing some crab eyes. That was really sad. I don't know if that is going to help her or not. Sometimes it's best not to know. 'He's mugged you off, darlin'!' Casey's mum is lovely, too. When she said 'I've got one thing to say' I thought she was going to say something to Lee! She should have stuck it to Lee. But she complimented Jim! Not more fuel for his popularity fire, please. Oh, Jim and his strategic tear drop. I love the way Lee comes over and goes 'it was nice to see your mum wasn't it?' Well, sort of. They're not doing very well at keeping quiet during this task, are they? I bet Ollie's pissed off he never stroked his dog now.
Lee: 'I'm going to have people proper hate me now.' People hated you anyway, tbh. Lee's still trying to wheedle out of it with Casey!
Stop making Lee look like some love rat player! Ha! He DOES know that Casey has feelings towards him! Twonk. 'I'm the only wanker looking like a fucking dickhead.' Well...
OMG! Jim to Casey: 'If you were my daughter I'd still be bathing you.' NOT CREEPY AT ALL.
Who's this rabble who've come in for Dappy? Where's Tulisa and Fazer? Nice of megaphone guy to say he loved Ollie. At least someone does. And they made fun of Lee.
I like Luisa's mum too! LOL why did she tell Jim she loved him?! What is going on? Why is everyone kissing Jim! I thought she was going to have Dappy over 'LOOSE' gate. That would have been my priority as a mother.
Lee's doing a Nick Bateman under the covers. 'That mamma ting really threw me.' Stop speaking like that, Lee! You sound like a twat. I love the way Dappy comforts people. He's really sweet. I might forgive him for 'loose' gate, you know. Has he repented? I might even vote for him again?! I can't decide!
Lee: 'I'm just a cunt.' Dappy: 'I hear you, bro.'
Jim's wife is absolutely stunning and his daughter was beautiful. Trading in five times obviously works. Giving the shirts to Luisa was quite cunty though. Keep your subjugation to yourself.
They are SHIT at this task! They must have about 12,000 fails. Ollie looks nice when he's enjoying himself dancing and not weeping his fake tan off.
Lee's in the toilet crying because Casey's not speaking to him anymore.
Isn't it a bit of a giveaway when they gathered them all on the sofas? And why WAS Lee wearing his coat indoors? Luisa's only thought on Lee's eviction: 'He's gone dressed like that.' He didn't look too bad! Jim is gaming caring about Casey again. Pervert.
Jim wants to know why he's sexist from Luisa so he can change. Hilarious. Oh now he's like, 'You shouldn't have been influenced by that woman.' Did Jim ever find out if he was sexist or not? Didn't think so.
Oh, now onto some power play in the garden with Ollie. 'Are you seeing a fella?' No. 'It doesn't bother me ONE BIT.' One, you're lying. No normal person would have to state that. Two. It's none of your business, so fuck off, you red faced prick. It's like going 'I know a black person!' It's fucking transparent.
Who's cap is Dappy using to cover his knob during his naked pool dive? I hope it's his own.
I'm not even going to comment on Sam and Ollie, it's so fucking dull, I could stab myself silly.
Aw, Casey misses Lee! Shame. Luisa is not very good at counselling. Her cake eating skills seem quite honed though.
Two more days! Bring it on. I want a final three of Luisa, Dappy, then Casey. Don't think I've got much hope though.

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