Monday, 13 January 2014

Celebrity Big Brother 2014: I will look after you

We just watched the Heidi and Spencer After Shock show and now my boyfriend is comatose so I'm watching this alone. Thanks Speidi! To be fair, Jim can't help that he snores. Luisa and Jasmine can help being a pair of old harpies, touching each other's bits over the vodka mix.
Lee going for the Abz vote, befriending one of the butterflies that were formally in his stomach. Granddad butterfly. Oh, the poetry. Swoon.
Jim is confirming my point that he has no choice about snoring. Luisa is inconsiderate. What is 'having fun'? Giggling under a blanket? Waking people up?
Lee says Duncan is gay. I thought Duncan was bi. I like Simon the best, he's very handsome and he didn't make a twat of himself in the jungle.
Liz is twitching about cruelty to animals because a dog has been sent in to steal a string of sausages. I would be, too. If she thinks that's bad, she should have seen the year they had the gorilla in there, HA.
This task is stoopid. That was the dullest task ever. How can they follow the knocking shop - sorry, strip show - with this?
Face to face nominations equals easy targets and controversial characters up, which can work out badly. At least they can't fiddle it this time.
I like the frankness of Luisa's nomination: 'I'm nominating Jim because he's a fucking arsehole and he gets on my tits.' It's better than 'they don't clean the kitchen', isn't it?
Luisa nominated Liz for taking about her dogs. Does she remember this small chap called Dappy, called her a slag, a fucking hoe, and loose two days ago? Remember him? He's sat right there.
Jim is seething! I don't think I've ever seen such enthusiastic face to face nominations. Luisa didn't like what she said about him.
Can someone explain to me why Jim is nominating Liz and not Linda? Do not get it. Poor Liz.
Jasmine's nominations were a bit more wishy washy. Ha, she called Jim sexist.
Dappy nominated Liz! That's his homegirl. Why is Dappy doing the same nominations as last week? Boring. Dappy also nominated Luisa for mentioning his mum. Mummy!
Ollie nominated Liz, too, aw. I feel sorry for Liz. Ollie was quite brave to nominate Jim.
Lee: 'Liz, you bitch. I'm joking.' Ha bloody ha. Lee is nominating Sam for fencesitting, basically. WTF BB won't accept his nomination and is making him change it! You've got to be kidding me. He could vote tactically now! That's cheating. That's a bunch of BS.
Ooh, Liz nominated Linda because she reminds her of her older sister and she makes her nervous. That's a bit unfair on Linda. Liz on Jasmine: 'I look at her and I literally want to kill myself.' Oh, because of her self esteem issues. I thought it was something else. This is like a Lauren Harries nomination: 'I'm nominating you because you remind me of my auntie Jill who we don't speak to...'
I don't think Liz meant to use those words to hurt Jasmine about her dad. Jasmine is crying again. DOES she have feelings? Jasmine is right, though, it's not her fault the way she looks.
Sam nominated Liz for loving animals. Is that an OK reason? Shouldn't Big Brother be saying, 'Are you going to end someone's game over that?' Talk about favoritism! And she dared nominate Jim. I'm surprised.
I'm glad Linda nominated Dappy at least. Why didn't Dappy get more votes? Is it OK to speak the way he did at the weekend?
Not more votes for Liz, poor Liz. Ha, Casey nominated Jasmine. At least she dared. I like Casey's lips jumper.
I hate Lionel! He nommed Jasmine and JIM! I'm surprised he nominated Jim face to face. He's a shrewd one.
So up is Liz, Jim, Jasmine, and Luisa only on 2 nominations.
I don't know why Dappy is grovelling round Luisa. Own your own vote. Bad atmosphere in the house now. Luisa is certain she's going to go. I think she might get some votes off the back of her Dappy wars. I will vote to save her and Liz.
LOL to Jim saying Lionel didn't make him famous. I actually feel almost SORRY for Jim!
Liz should apologise to Jasmine for her choice of words, even though she didn't mean them. Casey is coming off a bit one-dimensional again, except for instead of 'boobs', it's just 'Lee'.
I haven't seem Jasmine be 'over the top nice' to Liz. Or anyone. Jasmine is on the warpath after Casey now. Oh dear. I have a feeling Casey will be eaten alive. Oh, get over it, Casey. You're really stringing this out now.
Good on Jim for sticking up for Liz. He is so right. That was a power move, right there. I'm glad Liz apologised, too. Jasmine: 'It's almost like racism voting for me because I'm beautiful.' No it isn't.
Dappy and Luisa bonding is somewhat sickening.
Taps on time! Lee doesn't want Jasmine to go back to her bat cave. 'I will look after you.' I don't think she needs looking after, I really don't. She's hard as nails. Lee, on the other hand...

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