Wednesday 15 January 2014

Celebrity Big Brother 2014: Do we have to form a queue to have a fucking argument?

So CBB has been extended for four days? I've never seen that happen before. They must be giving them more money, right? They extended Big Brother Australia by two weeks and it was a mistake, the last two weeks were quite hard going. A bit more CBB shouldn't hurt, tho, as long as it's not the bloody love triangle. I like the fact that so far they have only evicted Evander, and he was useless, so we've had pretty much the full spectrum of entertainment we could have had. Compared to Carol McGiffin, Mario, Les and Janice, this is a legacy season.
Only women nominees getting booed tonight, then, even though the man they're up against is a wifebeater, racist and homophobe. Par for the course, really.
Ollie is scavenging crusts out the toaster. It's not like this in Made in Chelsea. MIC meets Superscrimpers. OMG Lee and Jasmine in the bath first thing in the morning; horrid. Those ducks are getting their fair share of sexual abuse in there.
Luisa is right: men and women hate her because she knows herself. Sam doesn't find Jim funny. Did she used to find Joey Essex funny? I'm trying to decide who I'd rather be trapped in a lift with.
Ollie is doing an Aden. Shameful!
Why does Lee look happy he's not up for eviction when he voted for himself! Gorm.
I don't get why they failed that task. They guessed right? I wouldn't give two shits about no electrical items or no hot water.
Removing 'beauty products' is sexist in my opinion, because 'beauty products' means make-up and the majority of the time it's women who wear make-up. 
Sam looks rough without her make-up on, so no wonder she's carping. Why is Lionel getting on his high horse? Lionel needs his meds. 
Lionel DID say 'get the chocolates'. Ollie: 'If you feel that way...' It HAPPENED, OLLIE. Ollie doesn't want to seem like he's bitching. What a baby. That's a new level of fencesitting. A self-declared fence-sitter.
Ha to Lionel getting out of his pram! Don't point at me, you old cunt. 'Selfish bitches'. He's the selfish bitch. What's Lionel come as today with his silly hat and his fag holder?
Luisa: 'He just argues at me.' Ha. Luisa: 'Part of being a man... or any person.'Luisa is always saying things like 'man up.'
Jim: 'Do we have to form a queue to have a fucking argument?' No, just take a ticket from the machine.
Jim: 'She'd make Mother Theresa knock her out.' Charming. Lionel: 'She's dangerous.' Why, because you want to punch her? She really isn't. She's just a gobby, self assured, cocky woman. How awful! Get a grip, old man.
Did Lee tell Luisa to grown up? Luisa: 'A grown man.' She should stop throwing the pronouns around, if she's going to be a self-proclaimed strong woman. It's getting hard to defend her against everyone desperate to demonise her; and they are getting more desperate than Dappy.
What is that thing Emma is standing by that looks like a bit off a pirate ship or a hot air balloon? Ooh-aaaaaaaaaargh!
LOL Luisa is 'cooking for everyone except Lionel and Jim'. That's a power move. I like Luisa digging her heels in. It's petty and funny. Sam and Dappy worrying about what they're gonna eat. Jim guilt-tripping: 'I'll just have a bit of toast.' What, just the crumbs out the bottom, or a whole piece?
Lionel: 'Give me your lips.' Lionel sees women as either whores or horrors, and he can see that in the same woman. There's no middle-ground. It makes me laugh the way they always make friends after all the animosity in the day! I'm like that though, I can't hold grudges. I'd be like, 'aw, alright then.'
Liz: 'The water is black in London.' It isn't. Perhaps Liz is that girl who comes out of the TV in The Ring. The edit she's getting from BB is ridiculous. It's just so stupidly biased that they're not showing her that I'm glad she's getting support from the public.
Dappy telling Jasmine what's what. Ha. Jasmine's got her Cruella coat on. Dappy is constantly funny, even when enraged. Why is he talking in an American accent? He's like Jedward. Lee just made the international sound for oral. *tongue wiggle* Is Dappy drunk, he's gone very sincere all of a sudden. Lee: 'I hear dat.' Dappy: 'I'm not just drunk.' Dappy is definitely drunk. That conversation was the lols.
Lee and Jasmine need to knock the PDAs on the head - and people say Liz is boring.
Ooh, 'Get Luisa out.' Jim has a photo: communication with the outside world! Liz looks cute. I see they got their make up back, then.
Jim is loving getting the most votes. Luisa will be safe. As much as people don't like her, people will support her.
Dappy kissing Luisa is DIRTY, DISGUSTING AND LOOSE.
LOL to Ollie saying Sam is 'far more beautiful without make up.' What a smoothie. So not true!
Jim not understanding why Casey is upset, ha. Hilarious. Casey, please talk about something else. Boobs! Lee!
OMG Is Luisa REALLY letting Dappy lick her nipple?! WHYYYYYYYYY? She must be mental. She REALLY doesn't hold a grudge.
I like the way Luisa laughs when she gets booed, I would too.
Yes! Jasmine is out! I didn't think anyone would vote for her. Why would they? Liz powers on like the dynamo she is! Jasmine don't even get a umbrella.
Ha to people carping about Liz being saved on Twitter. Maybe people are sick of watching Lee and Jasmine dry/wet humping? Huh? Liz has more entertainment in her little finger than Jasmine. Liz thousand-yard staring into space is more entertaining than Lee and Dappy's whole musical back catalogue combined.  
Jasmine will be back in America before Lee even gets back. Ha, I'm glad they're showing Jasmine this Lee bullshit.
Casey has got a screwface in the background. Do you think Lee will walk? He said he never would but he's so soft on this hard-faced woman he probably would.
Jasmine seems a bit cool on Lee in her interview. Can't really blame her, though.
Ha, Jasmine wouldn't put it past Lee to go back to Casey. Jasmine is a tough cookie. She's 'doing a Tully' as someone did in BBAU - all over a guy in there and then denounced him because she had a girlfriend when she came out. Why is the idiot crowd shouting 'who are ya?'
I will miss Jasmine a bit, but not the 'romance'. I can't bear the groping. Ha, Jasmine wants Ollie or Sam to win. What about Luisa and Lee? She IS a reptile!
Everyone is up, but Jasmine gets to save two people! Nominations superpower, y'all! That was weird them seeing the evicted housemate.
Haha to Jasmine saving Casey and Linda because she wants everyone else out with her. Never mind saving Lee. LOL. What a crazy bitch. Oh no, I was hoping we might get rid of Linda soon! Jasmine saved the two most boring housemates. Epic fail. Liz FTW.

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