Thursday, 28 January 2010

Celebrity Big Brother 7: To posh to plush

Why is the last mile the hardest mile? (because you kicked out Stevie B- dur).
The tree's task for Vinnie was good. OMG! Vinnie defied the tree. And thus his chances of winning are gone. What a spoilsport! Don't argue with the tree. Don't give that tree attitude like Lady Sov when denied her purple hair dye.
Ah Vinnie is going to do it to protect the house. What a saint. Notice how Vinnie gets the task right before final night. Fiiiiiiix!
Vinnie dropped that cross-dressing thing into conversation about as subtly as Melinda Messenger puts blusher on. Vinnie, were you out with the lads, or in the bedroom? Or in the bedroom with the lads? Get your story straight, you gorm.
Anyone would think the tree asked Vinnie to line up the housemates and rape them with with a spatula the way he was carping over that task.
Vinnie! Acting! Give the man a Oscar. Alex is so stupid it's unreal, he contradicts himself from the start of the sentence to the end! Idiot-hole.
Vinnie, you can't speak American, you doofus. Get out of that elevator and off the sidewalk.
Who are Alex's 'work buddies'? The guy from human resources? Aw, he is sweet though.
I hope Vinnie's football team LOSE! And I hope yours does too! Football is RUBBISH!
Those costumes they gave them looked cheap as fuck. Don't they get that they're putting you in costumes BECAUSE it's eviction night?
Jonas was panting like a paedo under that pig suit. And goats don't have long curly hair! Get Attenborough in there, never mind Davina.
Davina-gate. Is it going to make any more sense than last night? No, because they are just fumbling in the dark as usual. What was the point?! It was a day-trip for Davina and that was about it. And no day-trip can beat David and Lisa's from regular BB! Their day out in London was the stuff of legend.
WTF is Stephanie doing? Too posh to plush? Get over yourself, lady muck. Punish her!
Cockadoodledo-her! Davina flirting with Alex was quite funny. 'I wanna bash it up' 'clothesline it'! WTF! Cruelty to chickens. This makes Colonel Sanders look kind. Stop acting the goat, Dane. Vinnie, a woman doesn't become an 'it' because they're in a costume.
Don't ignore the chicken in the room. OMG they are gang-raping her. This is fucked up.
Rip Davina's head off! Do the nation a favour.
'And she's drunk... and she walks like Quasimodo'. Jonas offering her a fag was funny. Fire hazard! Oink oink... tweet tweet. Jonas feels sorry for the lonesome chicken.
Davina don't fart, it's unladylike!
Alex getting the joke about three hours after everyone else was pure joy.
Jesus, if that was the best night of Davina's life her drug dealer must have been USELESS back in the day. Was kind of sad when she said 'she's gone' about Nicola.
Why is Dane dressed like a snooker player? Jonas check your back for a knife after that cuddle from Martha off Corrie.
It did make more sense tonight. But still not that much.
So tomorrow is final night- and I am going out! But I might take my laptop with me. However, if a friend came to my house and asked to watch Dancing on Ice or something, I'd tell them to fuck right off, so it might not quite pan out. Either way, it will be blogged. Bear with me!
Oh and vote ALEX or Dane. :-)

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