Tuesday, 19 January 2010

Celebrity Big Brother 7: This is Europe, baby

I was watching the live feed last night, listening to Stevie B bludgeoning Sisqo with the Bible and thought; BB have really scored an own goal here. By not putting anyone in that house capable of standing up to him, they are just providing a platform for him. It's just the God channel. He's converted Sisqo. He's half converted Alex. Job done.
How long before Vinnie gets his very own birdwatching task? I predict before the end of this very show. Talking of tits...
Vinnie, I have had these two weeks to judge you. You're an a-hole.
It's funny that Sisqo and Alex are both jealous of each other. My abs are bigger than your abs!
Alex laughing about Jordan's books! Supportive! Mind you...
What pop career has Jordan had? She released that song off Aladdin with Peter 'Dignified Silence' Andre, and failed to get on Eurovision in that rank pink catsuit. That's a 'career' best swept under the carpet.
I don't want Nicola to get a 'column'! I want my own column! I'm a writer! Get off my territory.
What is WRONG with Stephen? He is obsessed with things happening that didn't happen. He is obsessed with the men's physiques in the house. There is something unhinged in his mind. Europe don't need Jesus! And nor does England! Heh.
Jonas is pining! Ahhh.
I don't blame Ivana not wanting to strip off, she's fucking 60 odd! Have a fucking heart, Vinnie. He didn't like it when Steph disagreed with him, did he? He's a sexist prick. As for Nicola moaning about her cellulite, there's nothing worse than skinny people complaining about their bodies. Zzzzz. OMG she is SO skinny without clothes in. I don't think she knows how to spell cellulite.
Ahhhhh! Vinnie mentioned the cheque Ivana's getting. NOW we get to the crux of it. He didn't like it the other day when they said Ivana got the biggest cheque! So now he's got to humiliate her! I see!
When's YOUR half an hour of humiliation going to be, Vinnie? Oh I forgot; in all the 'films' you're in.
Aw, did Stephen do a rubbish picture because he was scared of getting a hard-on looking at Ivana's craggy old dellocatage (is that how you spell that? I guess not as it only gave me 4 results on google!)
Stephanie's drawing was good! Stephen's was pathetic. Alex's seemed to lack Nicola (maybe Jordan forced him not to look via a contract before he went in the house). Dane's was also good, as was Sisqo's. Jonas has a similar level of art ability to me: i.e. very little. Vinnie's was kind of sexy/trashy and I liked Sov's.
Aw Stevie B's getting a ticking off from Daddy! 'That's not like you'. Are you disappointed in him? Is he grounded? Yeah, Stephen, no TV and no leaving the house for the rest of the week! That'll learn him!
If Vinnie called me 'dear' like he did Nicola, I'd tell him to go stick it up his arse. They thought Sov was bad? I'd fucking sort him aht!
On yer bike Sov, you little gimp. She's got the key! She's got the secret! Well if they aint going to bother to look for a keyhole, fuck 'em.
I liked Stephen's blind supporting of Sov! The others were unbecoming in their slating of her straight after; that just doesn't happen on the regular BB.
I'm not sure about those speed nominations; face to face nominations are better and more shocking.
I do find Sisqo a little duplicitous, and a little too eager to agree with whoever he's talking to. I just wished SOMEONE had stood up for her after she left. Just one person. Ah- that person is Stephen! Go Stevie!
OMG Vinnie just did a Sov and sloped off when Stephen was talking! What a fucking hypocrite this man is!
Despite everything (and it is a lot); there is just something inherently likeable about Stephen, that is just lacking in Vinnie. He's controversial, and that makes him interesting in a sea of dead wood.
Interesting that Nicola was the only one who agreed with him! Evil Nic! 'It is what it is!' Just shoot me right now.
Oh God, Bible studies. I saw Nicola get this photograph of her husband and kid on the live feed, and she was TRULY grateful, because here's some of the many things she said about it: 'I wish my baby was smiling/ I wish my husband was looking at the camera/ it doesn't really look like her/ She looks freezing/ That dress is too small for her/ I wish it was a different picture'. Nice!
But Sisqo and Stephen both said her husband was hot, so that's OK.
OMG Vinnie 'I need more competition'. His ego is OUT OF CONTROL! TWAT!
Vinnie: 'my wife's had a heart transplant'. When? '22 years ago.' That's one dusty old sob story. Even Simon Cowell might not bother to rubber stamp that one.
Dane's face when Stephen was laughing about them going to hell was amazing! I think BB does need to get tougher. Confiscate the Bible! That'll do it.

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