Friday, 22 January 2010

Celebrity Big Brother 7: I want to talk to my solicitor

I can't believe they cut it all out, but I was watching the live feed last night and Jonas was basically crying because he found out his manager taking FIFTY percent off him was a bit of a piss take. Poor Jonas. He's learning a lot about life in that house, but I think it will make him a better person. My favourite part of that conversation was when Steph was asking if Jonas's manager pays for the venue and posters. Jonas said yes. Then she said, 'And does he pay for the bunting and balloons?' LOL! Now THAT'S a rave-up.
The fact they cut ALL of that out to focus on Vinnie stomping round looking like a bulldog who's stood on a nail and then got kicked in the cunt says everything you need to know about this show.
Anyway, on with tonight. Vinnie you little snitch! What a fucking loser. 'Hard man' Vinnie Jones! Upset by little old Sisqo! Dane was 'lying there with Vinnie in his bed'! Ugh! Vinnie is being threatening. Sounds like Sisqo told the truth to me. Vinnie is as out of touch with his own personality as Sov is.
Are you really going to keep in a man who said 'I want to speak to my solicitor' over some drunken chat (which can't have been that offensive as I don't even remember it, and it was only yesterday).
He's projecting all over that situation. What a horrible man! I thought I'd seen it all from Vinnie, but he's really plumbing new depths of patheticness today.
I just want to say a big FUCK YOU to Vinnie's family. Hope that didn't offend them (much).
Sisqo, why are you grovelling to Vinnie? Fuck him! He's a tool. Furthermore, why is Sisqo dressed as a nun?
OMG I think I'm going to vomit about Nicola squeezing Alex's spots. I wouldn't do that for my boyfriend, let alone Neanderthal Tan.
Dane slapped Stephanie's arse with style! He's good at these tasks, isn't he?
Stephen's party was good! No more bad language. 'Fuck yeah!' I like their montages to music, it's a bit like Eastenders, but more cheery.
Pass the parcel! Nice. Alex's panties looked alright!
The name of that game with the sticks and the marbles is Kerplunk, you ninnies.
I liked Big Brother playing a trick on them, it was cute. Stephanie took it quite well, I must say.
Alex doesn't condone the fake poo gag! Don't rummage through the bin for fake poo, there's no chocolate cake in there, Geri Halliwell. Stephen doesn't condone it: 'put it down by her feet!' Haha.
Jonas timed that fart quite well with poo-gate. Ew, Alex chewed it!
Second show! Sisqo must survive. Stephen hasn't got a hope in 'Hell'! Ho ho ho.
Stevie B's out! He got loads of cheers actually. His highlights were amazing! He looked quite sharp I thought.
Oh god, he's representing Jesus! I think Jesus is displeased with Stephen's representation.
Davina: you're going straight to hell, girlfriend!
Stephen gave good interview. Even Davina restrained herself from talking over him for most of the time.
No way, I can't BELIEVE Ivana beat Sisqo! I even fucking voted for Ivana. This is bullshit; another victory for Team Vinnie. No doubt it was Vinnie's straggly old wife with Sisqo on speed-dial because she was so offended by his non-existent behaviour the other night.
Vinnie is going to walk this fucker now. HE'S NOT A NATIONAL HERO!
I think the votes WERE strategic for Sisqo. He was done- he's a decent guy.
So it's a vote to win now? Vote Dane! Don't let that fucking prick Vinnie Jones win or I'll come kick your arse. I mean it!

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