Friday, 20 August 2010

Big Brother 11: Time you fucked off out of this house

This is it, kiddywinks, tonight's the night! Let's face it, the show is dead whatever happens from here. Just crammed in a bit of live feed and Josie was running out of patience BIG TIME with John James. He was going on and on about Big Brother humiliating him and taking precisely zero responsibility for his own actions. He also said he would not go on Big Mouth to have the piss ripped out of him! And he means what he says. Dave and Sam trashed the house! Did that not even make the highlights? It was funny! Sam got a water balloon right in the mush too.
John James is still in the house, I see! Oh my god, he's such a giant SCROTUM. They shouldn't be passing on a message from Nathan to him anyway.
The fact that Big Brother is basically throwing the rulebook (tm. Vinnie Jones) out the window to let John James have a little chat with Nathan.
JOSIE. CORRECT. She deserves to win for that comment alone ('you should be apologising to Rachael') Why does he want to speak to Nathan anyway? What century is this? Is Nathan Rachael's dad? He's like a caveman dragging her along by the hair.
I literally can't believe what I'm seeing in the diary room. What's next in Big Brother? Conjugal visits? Email? WHY IS THIS LITTLE PRICK GETTING SPECIAL TREATMENT! The shark has been flown into space with John James's name tattooed on it's ARSE!
If I was in that house I would be LIVID he just got that phonecall. He treats Big Brother like his very own bitch, and he's right to. It's like he's in My Super Sweet 16 not Big Brother. 'Oh I got a party! Oh I got a car! OH I GOT A FLAT!' FUCK OFF JOHN JAMES.
Steve's task! Bovvered. I wish 'Titan' would tear John James's head off. OMG Andrew Stone. No thanks. Is this the best they can do? Bring on the evictions.
Who's this dude in the task room? Oh, it's Jesus. Aw, Andrew's all red singing. I fast forwarded most of that.
John James: has a 'guyliner' instead of a soul. It's a fair swap.
Sad for Josie a bit tonight. I think she really does love him, the good part of him. I think he loves her a bit in his own way.
Josie doesn't drink champagne? You're in the BB house, drink EVERYTHING you can get your hands on.
HERE WE GO. Is he going to refuse to be interviewed? Is he FUCK!
Aww Andrew. But it's not because anyone actually likes him. LOL to Steve being evicted. It's the first chance we've had to get that boring bastard out. That was funny they didn't hear what Davina said. I think Steve thought he was safe.
OUR HERO. Now fuck off. He's got his own special door! STEVE'S BEST BITS! Oh, they're finished.
This interview is going to suck shit. 'It is what it is!' Profound.
Steve: 'I am a flirt.' And that was the end of the Keeley inquisition!
Dave seemed quite cheerful in his interview. Very happy to be out, I think.
I want to call in and talk to John James! I want to see that guyliner run.
What is Keeley's agenda? Bugger off.
Ooh I've nearly caught up now. Hurrah.
I don't want celebrities in the ultimate big brother! I want just the civillians.
Dave is wearing the t-shirt! I'm so pleased Mario is through. He deserves it.
OMG CORIN is out! That means either John James or Sam is safe! WTF!!!!
I can't fucking believe Corin has gone. We're loving it, loving it, loving it!
John James outlasted Corin! What is going on? Just as I started to like her. Did she have her wig on?
Anything could happen now.
Forshaw is one cool surname. I feel for Corin, she had a hard time this week. I hate the thought of John James thinking he outdid her.
Corin's interview- dull. Ask about the girlfriend.
Corin didn't look that embarrassed about JJ-gate. I don't think she'll be going back to her girlfriend, do you?
OH NO, Sam is out! Please don't tell me Dave is safe. It's either Dave or John James next! Did John James's fans get Corin out? Surely Dave can't have beat
Is Sam coming out as Super Mario? LOL. Aw thought Sam was going to make it then. And instead we've got DAVE OR CRAB EYES. WELL DONE YOU FUCKERS.
Sad Sam's gone! What a gigantic fuck up this is. What a monumental shit-storm.
Does Dave have like a million people in his religious cult?
Is she not going to make him take that moustache off? Oh, Sam. You could have been good in all-stars.
After EVERYTHING I've said about Crab Eyes this week, Dave should walk out that door over him. Crab Eyes has given me all kinds of entertainment.
Sam to Dave: 'time you fucked off out of this house.' That is some good shit.
Sam wants Andrew to win? WTF? Life has gone mental tonight.
OMG did that really just happen? Dave in the final? This is the worst Big Brother final EVER. WHY DIDN'T YOU DO A VOTE TO SAVE YOU FUCKING CUNTS?
Really felt for Josie then. How many fans does Dave have? Could he win this fucking thing? Imagine that bastard in all stars?
Mardy bum! LOL.
John James, you appear to be doing your interview. My boyfriend just said he'll be doing Nuts next week.
'The worst housemates in history' was about right. 'An absolute privilege to be here'. You didn't show it!
Crab eyes is twiddling his hair. Aw he didn't deserve to be there! He's playing Davina like he plays Josie!
I've never seen such a fake smile on a housemate as John James. He couldn't give a r.i.p.
Mario: 'a bee in his bonnet'. LOL. That's a good way of describing it.
John James isn't a stupid man. I think deep down he knows he's not going about things the right way.
OMG they are playing that song they played at Kylie and Jason's wedding! I used to have that song! Sob.
Their love is real! REAL! (I bet Josie is slagging him off RIGHT NOW).
OMG IS HE BACKTRACKING ON THE MAGAZINE DEAL NOW??? Oh crab eyes, you're such a hypocrite. He's going to be on the front of Angler's Monthly, that's about it.
Who wins? You decide. Out of this useless fucking bunch that everyone hates.
I think I'm going to vote for Mario. I just feel an affinity towards him lately.
PS. DAVE. IS. STILL. IN. THERE. What have you done?

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