Saturday, 7 August 2010

Big Brother 11: I think he thought it was Halloween

Can't believe I have to suffer another week of that prickfest Dave - are these people loons? They must have misprinted the phone numbers, that's the only rational explanation. Ergh, I'm fucked off with this Scrooge task- there's only one feat of endurance being achieved here, and that's by the viewers. What is this bullshit with Corin and JJ? 'Tickling his front' yeah, the front of his knob. What's in it for either of them? It's like watching an acorn have it off with a corpse.
Who sits in the bath EATING? Is that acceptable in Australia?
Ah, gruel. FUCK OFF. Ergh, that close up of Corin in the mirror was grim - I swear she ages a decade every episode. Tim Burton should take this show over once C4 have done with it, most of the work's been done for him already. Oh Jo, please fuck off - you're about as badly conceived as that cunt who tried to get off with Lucas at the church jumble sale in Enders the other week. 'I hate arrogance'- lol, I've got a poster of it on my wall you stupid old bint.
Well done JJ, you just read out a list of food items- better than his usual schtick. Despite John James's constant hollow threats to flounce out, his recent militancy does actually ring true. He don't like wearing that dress much though, does he? Walliams he ain't. Sam is such a relentless pisstaker it hurts, but he is just about the only thing that makes this show worth watching in the absence of Ben. Why was he just being nice to Andrew? Probably cos he can see how much he sets him on edge. I think C4 would do just about anything to keep Sam in, and quite rightly so.
Good god, John James swears a lot doesn't he? He's getting the opposite of the Hira edit tonight. I think he's just miffed because he's still got to wear THAT dress. Strokegate! The National Stroke Association. Fuck me, he'd go mental if he knew they were cussing his breathing technique in the bedroom. Crab lungs, lol. Sam Pepper is like a young Mick Jagger fused with that Angelos cunt off Shooting Stars. John James- 4 real, lol. He's right though, Sam is a bit like a viewer in there, and so's Jo; they commentate on everything but don't give us anything of themselves.
Can you believe 177,000 goons watched that Dickensian bullshit on the C4 website? Have these people not been on the internet before. Fuck me, thanks christ that ask is over. Pepper rulebroke over a helping of pepper, lol. Do you think Steve will 'face swap' Sam next week? It'd be a good trade.
Funny how John James says he's never seen this show but seems to know the viewing figures! That guy has got the whole thing pegged; heartthrob, showmance, drama. And do you know what, I think Josie's almost onto him, if only she could see past the attraction. By the way, widger up arsecrack? She IS gagging for it.

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