Tuesday, 23 January 2007

Wii: The Latest

So we've had the Wii for a couple of months now... and I still haven't tired of making minature representations of friends and family alike (as well as Hitler, Conor Oberst, Morrissey etc). In fact I prefer dealing with my friends on this level; choosing their favourite colour, mulling over the exact shade of their hair, wondering how tall they are in proportion to Jesus. The only Mii I can't get right is myself: I just can't make it look like me. I tried making a less cartoony, uglier one, and my boyfriend said it was just wrong wrong wrong. So I dunno. Maybe I jus cannot be represented through ovals, funny lips and jaggedy haircuts. Maybe I'm just SPECIAL!
Sport is cool, of course, truly groundbreaking: the tennis is amazing but I'm crap at it. Bowling is too easy. Golf is the best.
On the games front, they're a bit slow on releasing them, aint they? I want a good proper golf game! I hate gold in real life, but gold on the computer is mellow. I want Wii aerobics! That sort of thing. I want Mario Kart but with decent steering. Is this possible?
Raymans Raving Rabbits was kind of a let down, except the game where you draw round the food, or make the rabbits play a funny tune you have to memorise. I like those two. but is this worth £39??? Not of my money!
The Wii controls are of course, supremely cool. We have Wario Ware: Smooth Moves now, and all the different ways of controlling it are super cool, but it does rather take away the POINT of Wario Ware, which was not knowing what the FUCK was going on and just winging it for two seconds. I like the dancing boss level. I like the darts.
We have Monkey Ball and the only thing we play on it is the darts! I fucking HATE the concept of Monkey Ball, wiggling round these stupid, infuriating levels. Just fuck off. The darts though? Genius.
Perhaps most tellingly (and embarrassingly) my favourite Wii game is one of the games on the Play disc that you get with the spare remote. I don't even know what it's called, but basically you have to look for lookalike Miis on levels that get harder and harder. My brain is good at this, and I can kick my boyfriends arse. Also, I think it's a good work out for your mental faculties. I like spotting three Simon Cowells on the escalator, or four Eminems in the swimming pool. It appeals to me.
But yeah. Bring out some new games, Mario. I know you run the show. The technology is amazing, so bring it on. We're waiting!

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