Monday, 29 January 2007

America's Next Top Model: Series 1 Million

It feels like about three months ago that the last America's next top model ended. In fact, I'm sure it WAS three months ago. I feel like i've watched six series in about a year. Is Tyra a workaholic? Should they rename the show America's Next Top Model (for five seconds)?
Now Tyra is back with another line up of walking skeletons and as usual we settle down to watch and say 'Urgh! She's ugly!' about 45 times. There MUST be some better looking people in the whole of the USA. Where do they GET these people? I can't decide who's the ugliest, the freakish asian girl (after three weeks of looking at Shilpa, she is just unacceptable) or the twins who look like a pair of rednecks. Seriously, have any of these 'models' even been laid? If so, how?
I'm not saying there aren't some good bodies there. These women's legs are so different looking to mine theirs may as well be slivers of moonbeam and mine buckets full of sludge. It's a different stratosphere of legginess and skinnyness.
So far I like the cute alternative one with short hair. She'll no doubt get kicked out quick sharp cos the ones I like aways do.
About halfway through the show I panicked and suddenly thought, 'Where's Nigel?' We need his English sense of reserve and reason. I hope he shows up in the next show or we're stuck with Tyra's ever growing sixhead, 'Miss' J's Pocahontas schtick and that gay guy with the silver hair whom I always think should be on Queer Eye. I take it Twiggy's fucked off back to Marks and Spencers as well.
I like the bits where they cut off all their hair and make them even uglier. Isn't it weird though, how the most distorted face can take the coolest pictures? Very handy that!

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