Last week less-than-flattering pictures of Tyra Banks emerging from the water like the Loch Ness Monster were published in various low rent magazines of the variety I read. This was followed up by a bizarre online video of Tyra (presumably on her show) ranting about how 'all women are beautiful, whatever their shape and size'.
Except, of course, if you're a contestant on America's Top Model. You'd better be thin, and you'd better be prepared to get naked/ make a fool of yourself/ hack your hair off. I thought they'd be hacking their hair of this week, but alas, no.
But Nigel was back! Yay. And Twiggy. Hmm, whatever.
'Miss' J looked as bored as Simon Cowell is looking on Seasion 476 of American Idol.
The girls moved into Tyra Towers, a narcissistic delight festooned with billboard-sized posters of Tyra looking airbrushed in a variety of different ways. What a vain bitch.
Later Tyra did some weird thing where she pretended to be a superbitch model (like you're not). Her gurning is getting worse every week. She told the boot-ugly Asian girl that she should learn to love her dark eyes (despite having blue/green contacts in herself).
In the final bit where they boot folk out, Tyra's flab was there for all to see, she's done the Courtney trick of squeezing it all into something very tight, but nothing can hide those bingo wings.
Practice what you preach, Tyra. Or how long will it be before the empire crumbles, and a thousand skinny models go flying?