Friday, 31 August 2012

Celebrity Big Brother 2012: Samantha, you swore you never turned that trick before

Oh my God! I'm drunk. I just watched the most exciting veto episode of BBUS yet. Absolutely FUCKING AMAZING. The drama! I know it's fake, but it's just so, so good. I implore you to start watching it if you're not. Watch the whole lot, every series, from series 2. It's better than Breaking Bad. I'm not joking.
Anyway, here we are. I just need to come back down to earth. So you couldn't do as I suggested and save Danica and Coleen, as it's a double eviction. My boyfriend thinks it's unfair to have a double eviction when there's three up. I suppose, but what are they going to do, there's a lot still to get out.
The Situation's punishment of not being able to nominate for the rest of the series isn't that serious if you think that there's probably only two rounds of nominations left. I don't think his nominations are that vital anyway; he's quite floaty.
The Sitch: 'I don't like being punished.' I think he means, 'Sorry I cheated.' Sitch; you've let a lot of people down, Grandma J-woww, Snooki, and that other one. He doesn't even know Snooki's named her baby Lorenzo, yet. Awkward. All I know about Jersey Shore, I've learnt from Beavis and Buthhead.
Julian bonding with Lorenzo; I don't think it's hurting his game to tell his story of coming out. And I'm sure he knows that.
I feel a bit sorry for Coleen, especially as it's likely she'll leave tonight before Julie.
Is Danica bending over in the Diary Room with a bow tie on? LOL.
Samantha; yeah, you are the underdog. You haven't been 'playing' anyone, because no one is the slightest bit interested in you.
My boyfriend voted too late because we started watching it 20 minutes late! He's one of those people Brian has to patronise about the plus 1, lol.
Who said 'fucking twat' after that leopard print conversation? OMG it was Julie. What a cunt! Coleen will get a lot of sympathy votes for that, and rightly so.
Ballet task. The quotes are absolutely inspired.
Who does Samantha Brick thinks she is, Dannii Minogue, swapping seats to sit next to Simon Cowell?
Where's the titties in this ballet? If the quote mentions titties, you should at least mime 'titties' in the dance.
'He's totally lost his balls.' Sitch knows how to do a good handstand. They all seem strangely athletic. Is ballet this easy? I liked the eating of the balls at the end - hilarious.
This task is quite surreal. What do they win? Nobody ever knows. Are Julian and Martin doing devil horns for Julie? Where was the pie?! That ballet task was a vote rig if every I've seen it.
'Get the bitch out - Danica.' That's a nice sign. Should those people be allowed crayons? I reckon those signs are handed out as the crowd come in, don't you? Jamie East probably colours them in. The crowd are chanting 'get Julie out' lol. Makes a change for the crowd to be on target. I wonder if Julie heard it?
They should play 'Brick Shithouse' by Placebo when Samantha comes out. 'Don't you wish you never met her?' Or 'Journalists who lie' although it's got no tune, so that might not work.
I like Samantha's dress. She's not getting that badly booed. I think indifference is worse, really, isn't it? You can see with people like her and Rhian why they're not celebrities, because they don't have much presence.
My boyfriend is timing Sam's interview as he doesn't think she's going to get more than four minutes. He's just offered me a title of 'Sam-blander.'
Samantha's hair looks worse than mine when I go to work in the morning. Does she not have a straightening iron? A hairdryer? Yeah the troll Samantha just sits behind a keyboard. She has no game. 'I put on my work hat'. That's one of my most hated expressions ever; I've got this 'hat' on. No you haven't. Fuck off.
A Daily Mail journalist talking about a 'moral compass'. Funnies. Like when Peter Hitchens tried to take down Russell Brand and failed.
Samantha is a 'kindred spirit' with the Sitch? Rilly? GET JULIE OUT. GET JULIE OUT.
Why isn't Samantha getting more shit from the crowd? Fuck her. 'Coleen is a manipulator' - no, she was genuinely upset. Brian is telling us what the crowd is thinking again.
She's had like a ten minute interview! I don't care what she has to say. Fuck off back to France. I don't care about your cooking. LOL to Julian calling her 'common' in her best bits. Sweet.
Samantha wants Ashley to win. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? Ha, her husband is there. Has he got his shotgun with him?
Are they booing Brian's 'if you're watching on +1 speech'?
Sitch's pec dancing was quite funny. His body is not nice, in my opinion. Nor is his face.
Lorenzo smokes, too. They're all chuffing like chimneys in there.
I hate people who judge other people for their dietary issues. What's it got to do with you what Coleen eats? All the more for you, isn't it? Leave her be.
Oh no, Danica's out. That sucks. I thought Coleen would get a big sympathy vote tonight. Coleen is not that interesting, though.
So how rude is Brian going to be to Danica? My boyfriend guessed they'd play 'Maneater.' one second before they played it. I thought it was going to be 'Gold digger.'
Danica is cool, calm and collected. I don't think she's going to let Brian make her shit-eat. It's not her fault if two people fancy her. Yeah, she did encourage it, but so fucking what? SO WHAT.
Danica's 'beautiful boyfriend' didn't look too happy. He also had an enormous nose.
Brian: 'do you ever think you crossed the line?' STFU. That's up to her boyfriend, not you.
Don't apologise, Danica, don't let them slut-shame you! OMG you're giving them everything they want.
I just like her spirit. Don't let them break your spirit. Interesting that Danica wants Coleen to win.
OMG, Brian digging her out about her wishlist! LOL someone bought her the 'multi-gym'. Jasmine was carping about that multi-gym. Her boyfriend looks livid!
Yay, get Julie out! And Julie heard it. I'm absolutely thrilled. I'll be sad not to see Danica in the house anymore, though. She didn't force those people to spend 6K whilst she was in the house. They just did. So there.

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