Thursday, 30 August 2012

Celebrity Big Brother 2012: Happily ever after

Ooh I just can't resist! Because I know I'll have something to say and I can't go on Twitter because it's midnight and I'll spoilerise myself. Patrick Wolf was... interesting. The people behind us were complaining loudly, so I told them to 'fucking go home if they weren't enjoying it' and they did. Win! It was kind of a win for them too, as the rest of the show was a bloody shambles. We had a good giggle, though. Anyway, on with the show, as the man himself says.
Note Martin Kemp stepping in to tell Ashley and Harvey (King Tut-tut-tut) to watch their shit-stirring. He's stirred up that hornet's nest and now he's backing away slowly. I remember him doing all the 'hook/line/sinker' mimes, he was stoking that fire along with everything else. This task has run its course. Sup up and fuck off.
Are you telling me the housemates can't tell that it's the others doing the BB voiceovers? They're not idiots!
Harvey and Ashley are really shooting themselves in the foot here. 'Your boyfriend allows you to hug other men!' I hugged 'another man' twice tonight. Fair enough, he was gay, but so was everyone at the Patrick Wolf gig.
I don't really like this new bit where they do a plea to stay in the BB house. It kind of gets on my nerves. I don't like it BBUS and I don't like it here. 
The Situation's speech was more like it. None of them can do 20 seconds. Another Big Brother fail.
'Danica is foraging in the bedroom'. With her arse out. I hate them all watching and passing judgement more than I hate Danica stealing their sweeties. So there.
Samantha Brick: 'that woman is poison.' Well, you are, too, and at least Danica's got a nice arse. I like Danica's hair colour, too, I wonder if it's real.
I haven't seen much of Julian Clary tonight. Why is Martin telling them he saw everything? He's game-playing. They could have kept that up their sleeve. Is he trying to look like the 'good guy' doing that? I can't work him out.
Why is Rhian selling Danica down the river because Ashley is saying he's 'seen stuff'. I've seen, I've seen, I've seen stranger things, man. Pathetic.
I HATE Julie now. Her mask has COMPLETELY slipped. Coleen is worried that she's said something, obviously. This is really unfair, actually, and making me feel sorry for Coleen.
Julian has galvanized the new 'outsiders': him, Danica, Prince, Coleen. But the interesting part is Julie is on the opposing side.
What is this 'mixing' Julie speaks of? Can we have an example? What does it mean, mixing, going from group to group? Where is the accusation exactly? I'm not sure Julian is buying it.
I think Coleen has been wearing that dress for two days now.
Sitch is twitching. He's apologising to Danica. Aw, she apologised back. Right after the voting closed.
FUCK OFF, Julie! It's YOU mixing, not anyone else. Put the wooden spoon away.
The Situation to Danica: 'we really had something in this house'. He's living in fantasy land. Still, bless him. 'Can we have a hug?' Only if you pay for it.
Samantha: don't tar all young women with the same imaginary slut brush you've pulled out of your arse. Stick your article.
Danica wants to go for a meal with Prince Lorenzo. 'The steam coming off the tub... that moon.' Do people always talk in these fairytale riddles to her? No wonder she's so cynical! I'd find it hard to stop myself rolling my eyes. This music they're playing is like something out of Twin Peaks.
Is that Samatha's best hairdo for the night?  I like Danica's gold glittery eyeshadow.
YES! Danica is safe. I knew the horrendous edit they've been giving her would save her. And I voted for her today. Take that, sexism. I knew it would be her and Sitch safe.
I do feel a bit sorry for Rhian. She's been treated like crap in that house and overlooked in favour of Danica, because Danica has had stronger 'storylines'.
Danica can't 'physically believe we've saved her.' I bet Julie can't believe it either, lol. Hope Brick goes so it's one in the eye for that side of the house.
So more people voted to save Samantha Brick than Rhian? Er... why? You think just totty-wise she'd have been thrown a few votes. My boyfriend is agog.
Rhian looks good, I like her Barbie-doll dress. She must be gutted to be gone before the DMJ (Daily Mail Journalist). At least Martin Kemp, chief shit-stirrer, will be happy.
Rhian should have stuck up for herself over the Ashley situation, but this clip says more about him than it does about her.
Brian, stop slut-shaming, you fucking prick. Feely touchy! She has a boyfriend! Boundaries, shmounderies, no means no. Get it, got it, good.
WTF: 'your boyfriend has declined to come here tonight, how does that make you feel, [you slut]?' (Brian's thoughts in brackets). How judgemental is that?!
Brian has treated Rhian about 50 times worse than he treated Conor when he was interviewed for this show. I'm utterly disgusted. He basically told her she was dumped and then 'interviewed' her for another ten minutes i.e. dug her out for being a slag.
I'm getting sick of this show and it's hatred for women. It's really making me angry. Another fail for Big Brother. Let's keep voting Danica to win as one in the eye for them. I'd like to see Brian have to be nice to her, and I'd like to see Julie's and The Situation's face.  
Over and out.

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