Wednesday, 8 August 2012

Big Brother 13: Shite at the Museum

I've started listening to another Big Brother podcast now, Big Brother Couch Potatoes on Spreaker (which you can download a free app for) and it's quite decent. Not as good the Big Brother Gossip show, but again presented by a cynical American, which is always good, and they've had Lauren and Benedict on and stuff. Both shows are more entertaining than actual Big Brother, anyway and I can listen to them at work, and no one gets censored so it works for me. I'm so tired of hearing 'I'm only following orders' from Emma Willis.
My boyfriend has suggested a title for my blog: 'Shite at the Museum, Poo.' That's how low we've sunk.
This task is boring. Museums are boring. Tasks that involve making the contestants not allowed to speak seem somewhat redundant.
I'm trying to think of a play on 'exhibit'. I've got nothing. I've got less ideas than the BB producers.
Scott kind of suits the security guard outfit and the power going to his head.
Luke S's got some crabby little hands going on there. Do I like Luke S now? I don't know how I feel about anyone anymore, and I normally have quite fixed ideas about people, so I think that says something about how wishy washy these people are. I don't know who I want to win, or who I want to go. Once Ashleigh is removed, I don't really mind. I don't even mind seeing Luke S have a pop at it.
Adam and Ashleigh are having a 'how to read like a 3-year-old' competition. I think this task is even more dull than yesterday's show.
Oh there's a twist to it. It involves pyramids *illuminati*. Are BB in a deal with whoever makes onesies? They're almost as obsessed with them as they are with plugging the Queen. I suppose it's quite a funny twist. If I still cared. They did something like this before one series, but I can't remember what it was.
What the hell is an 'oxygen bar'? Does it involve drugs? I think it must be like that shisha thing. What's the point of smoking something unless you're going to get high? If I want a nice flavour, I'll eat some sweets. I don't even smoke and even I can work that one out.
Are Sara and Scott stupid for falling for this? I reckon.
No food fight will ever match Jedwards'. Therefore, might as well not bother.
Sara's on bollitics again. Postmen don't get paid a fortune! £8 an hour? Fucking hell, who does Sara model for, Everything £5? £8 an hour is not a good salary for getting up at 4am! I hope her postman starts nicking her mail.
'Who decides who gets paid what?' asks Sara. I think it's the Illuminati. I don't think bin men get 25K a year. Mine definitely don't deserve that; they're geriatric and walk along puffing on fags but can't lift my bin if it's got too much cat litter in it cos it hurts their backs. Boo woo.
I'd rather stand still for 15 hours than have to listen to 'play that funky music white boy'. Totem fools.
This whole episode is a made up storyline because there's no storylines in the house.
Would you ring Scott's sex line? Uh oh, don't anger the Sara! She must control everyone's every move. Maybe Scott will end up being in one of Benedict's pornos? Lauren's already got naked for Nuts.
They like winding Sara up. He's got a 2:1! Big wows. Every cunt's got a 2:1. And everyone I know who hasn't got a degree earns more than everyone I know who has.
Deana, when are you going to repay God for these favours? He'll only do so many housemate saves on tick before he sends Chris round to nick your TV.
PS: You will notice I basically went with my boyfriend's title. Not a good sign. Time for Banged Up Abroad.

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