Thursday, 2 August 2012

Big Brother 13: David Dimblebully

So WTF happened with the White Room yesterday? Wasn't there meant to be some live twist on BOTS? That was the weirdest BOTS ever; cobbled together crap (and I mean more so than usual). Paul Ross is always a a treat, though. So I read on Digital Spy they were gonna give one of them 25K but couldn't risk giving it to Conor because of his racist family's Facebook page. I don't know if that's true though, but we didn't get the show that was billed last night. And I don't trust BB producers as far as I can throw them.
So far the white room has been a damp squib. It's like a toothpaste commercial. What's the difference between the white room and the rest of the house? Just the wallpaper.
There's not much suspense as we already know Sara walked, as we knew the second she arrived.
I just wouldn't even bother showering if it was cold. I could go three days without. Sara's make-up thing is tedious. Who cares about her white face? She has no stamina. She doesn't deserve to win.
God, this series of Big Brother is depressing. And I've got tomorrow off and I'm drunk. And it's still depressing. Walk, Becky, walk. Walk away. Power walk. There's the door. Go seek out your mint banter.
£5 for a whole chicken is quite dear, especially from Morrissons, you can get three cruel battery bleached ones for a tenner.
I love the word 'cahoots'! Oh Deana, shut up. Stop moaning, FFS. They're all humourless pricks. Hold on, where is Scott? He's the only funny person in that house. I don't like 'agreeing to disagree.' I prefer to disagree, loudly.
So Lauren was a chav and Scabby isn't? They don't even have chavs in Jersey. Don't say you hate chavs, Scabby, as they're the only people voting for you. I hate the word chav. It's just classist bollocks.
Who would trust Becky to cut their hair? Scott looks best with his Eminem cut. Anyway, filler. Is Scott allowed to say 'soldier' without getting into trouble with the scum alliance?
If I was in the white room I'd try and think of as many songs as I could with the word white in the title. We just thought of about 20.
Anyone who fancies Prince Harry is blind. End of conversation. How does Scott know about the Queen's sleeping arrangements? Why are they ALWAYS going on about the Queen on Big Brother? Fucking illuminati BULLSHIT. Rodrigo I could tolerate but not this crap. I could go a whole year without ever mentioning that dried up old bitch. Why are these supposed young people so obsessed with her?
Conor is brushing his teeth with shower gel. Hope it's anthrax flavoured; that's white, isn't it?
If Becky says LITERALLY one more time I'm LITERALLY going to eat the rest of these fruit pastilles I have sitting here. Nom.
Most of the boys Ashleigh knows can't get it up? Oh, no, sorry, I think she said most old people can't stand up. Nice.
This dancing task is actually quite good and at least amusing. LOL to Adam's dancing. This task is hard! I can't believe Conor got that! How does Luke A know the dance routine to Love Machine?!
Jump around! 'I'll serve it up like John MCEnroe, if the bitch steps up I'm smacking the ho.' Conor will like that song as it's about VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN.
Deana's was hard! LOL to Becky doing the Beyonce move! That was the funniest thing she'd ever done in the house.
Scott should know his Kylie. Conor is a bit disproportionately angry about this. Mind you, it's a bit out of character, as he's normally such a polite chap. That task was good. We just did three or four Morrissey song mimes to celebrate. I did November Spawned a Monster, obv.
I think Sara's got moany-itis. She's not exactly Damien Echols in solitary confinement; just press the button and leave, you muppet. Mind you, at least Damien Echols didn't have to put up with Conor.
Luke S just made me laugh by answering the phone and going 'the Bucket residence.' Yes, I said it. Luke S just made me laugh. PRESS THE FUCKING BUTTON, SARA, YOU DICK. Is her button broke? She's just worried about vanity. It's not a torture camp.
I'm LITERALLY bored out of my BRAIN. Oh the tension. Who will leave the room? I literally can't guess. So they forced her to stay in that room to do that fake bit of tension? Pathetic. Conor and Luke S must be thrilled Sara's leaving. Annoying bint.
At least Scott's calling it like he sees it. I think he almost did a 'boo woo'. That was such a load of gash. I hope whoever invented this task has been fired. I hope Luke S and Conor stay in there forever and they throw away the key. Conor's doing a bit of gameplay here, saying he needs it more.
This onion cutting up task reminds me of the Beavis and Butthead I watched the other day when Butthead started crying cos he got a bit of onion in his hotdog. That was about 5000% more entertaining than this. It was literally just one joke: 'you were crying - you were moved'. Brilliant. It's making me cry with laughter just thinking about it. I AM drunk.
Sara watches Question Time every week! How come she's so thick? I hate people who are cagey about who they vote for *obviously a Tory*. HAHAHAHA then she admitted it! Her votes are going out the window. Sara is so stupid. LOL, why is she being so touchy about it? Politics fail. She won't give us one reason why she voted for them. Deana won that one. Even Ashleigh mucked in! Amazing. I'd love to have heard her whole hour long politics rant where she specified no particular policy she was interested in.
Well done Sara for using your vote so wisely. I'll be using my vote wisely this week, too. Is she drunk? What paper do you think Sara reads?
Ha, are they going to turn around and blame this on Deana now? For realz? Cos she called you out because you've got nothing to back up your argument? How did you vote: ip, dip, doo? Did you use a crayon?  'Tell me one thing about why you voted Tory' is a FAIR QUESTION. OMG! The injustice. Even Scott is joining in with the witch hunt.
My boyfriend person saying a Scottish person voting Tory is as bad as admitting you're a paedophile. Any questions?

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