Thursday, 30 August 2012

Celebrity Big Brother 2012: Too much food, not enough cigarettes

Fucking hell, just watched yesterday's BOTS and they might as well have renamed it the 'Danica is a whore' show. Well known morality oracle and uber-doofus, Paul Ross was calling her a bad person as if it's some scientifically verified fact. I would have thought he'd support talentless people riding on coattails; after all, he's made a career out of it. Emma Willis was also sticking the knife into Danica all night long. Tragic. I honestly think they do it to make us vote more.
Julie and Samantha bitching! Bitch bitch bitch, it's just like Ashleigh slagging off Lauren all over again, when she did nothing to warrant it.  'Isn't it horrible?' Yes, isn't it! Two haggard old witches, stirring the pot.
Julie, you haven't been yourself, because you had me fooled you were a nice person for about three days. Now your real self has emerged. And it's ugly.
What is this 'emergency dental appointment' for Julian?! That shouldn't be allowed. He doesn't look in pain.
Martin's polishing his halo in the Diary Room, whilst being just as much of a backstabber as Julie.
This God's task has really messed up all those who were Gods' though, because they think they know EVERYTHING and they've become too smug.
Samantha's fringe is really upsetting me. When your fringe goes on the wonk, you go for the side fringe. Simple.
Shopping list times! £50 on fags. I wouldn't allow that! Julian: 'too much food, not enough cigarettes.' Rhian just wants a pack of cigarettes and some face wipes. Is that part of a balanced diet? Most of the celebrities smoke, don't they? Smoking is cool, uhuhuhuhuhuhuh. RIP.
OMG Julie is so FAKE. 'I can't imagine it without you, I love you so much.' Give that old bitch an Oscar, because she really deserves one. At least Big Brother edited that fairly, showing the contrast. Coleen had her sussed since Day 1. Danica has not lied to someone's face like Julie has. Julie should be ashamed of herself. Imagine how Danica will feel when she comes out and sees that?
Julie would seem like the perfect housemate if you were in there, because she literally just agrees with everything the person she's speaking to is saying. Her word means less than nothing. Trouble is, you can't fool the public playing that sort of game.
How did Julian's trip to the dentist go? I hope he was escorted better than on Rhian and Jasmine's trip to the supermarket.
Why does everyone hate Coleen so much? I mean, I find her boring and mumsy, but I'm on her side just because I don't get the vendetta against her. Face to face nominations ruin Julie's gameplan, don't they? It's unfair because 'the Gods' will nominate for things they saw on the TV.
My boyfriend just said exactly what I was thinking; the only reason they mentioned Julian went to the dentist was because he mentioned it then right before the 'live' nominations and they couldn't bleep it out. So Lord knows what other appointments they're going to during the day; chiropractor, masseur, brothel, betting shop.
Nominations: Harvey might as well have just said 'bro's before ho's' for his nomination.
Julian nominated the DMJ and The Occasional Table as usual.
Coleen nominated Samantha and her rat-teeth, and Sitch. Why no nomination for Julie? Oh, cos it's F2F. Coward!
Prince Lorenzo nommed Julian and Julie. Brave. He'll pay for that.
Ashley: *Unintelligible mumbling* They shouldn't be allowed to nominate because of things they saw on the screen, I don't agree with it whatsoever.
Julie: Danica looked shocked at Julie's nomination. Coleen did not. I still don't get the 'moving from group to group' thing.
Interesting that Martin nominated Sam 'because she wants to go home' and Julian because he had a tooth removed. Cop out noms! Those aren't the real reasons. Where's the 'BUT WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?' woman when you need her. You're worried Julian is going to beat you at the end, more like.
The Situation: Julie's obviously been in his ear about Coleen. Ooh, and he nominated Danica to her face. Ouchy.
Sam: Nommed Coleen and Danica. 'We don't respect men the same way'? You have no respect for women.
Danica: Nominated Sam and Ashley. At last a nomination for Ashley. Called Harvey, Ashley and Sitch out for being bullies. LOL. The 'b' word. Gotta love it.
Stop bullying Danica! It's hardly Conor and Deana again, is it? She's just upset she's up.
Martin: 'The whole 'bed club thing'. The first rule of bed club is you stick to the one bed. Martin's.
I think Danica is right to be upset with Sitch, and I believe she would never have nominated him. He's just cockblocked and on the attack. Gold glittery eyeshadow tears. Careful, you'll get a shard in your eye. Don't waste any (joke!)
Hold up, The Sitch isn't allowed to switch nominations halfway through! That's cheating, isn't it?
I actually feel sorry for Coleen. She got stitched up with that task. The others had an unfair advantage watching her conversations; what about that conversation Julie had with Samantha at the start of the show?
Coleen is RIGHT: Julie IS 'so fucking two-faced.' Spot on, she does not love those people. I felt genuinely upset for Coleen then.
Aw, that conversation was cute between Sitch and Julian. Sitch was very cool about that nomination; gracious.
Ashley and Harvey aren't bullies but they sure are pricks. Actually, Ashley did try and bully Rhian into having sex with him. Forgot about that.
Harvey: your earring makes you look like a tool. 'How she's acting is wrong.' Is he a fucking vicar or something now? Two-time love cheat wifebeater Harvey? How can him and Jasmine judge others with a straight face, seriously?! You are ARSEHOLES.
Harvey on Danica's flirting: 'It's not fine.' IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. IT'S NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS! You're not her boyfriend, what's it got to do with you? SHUT THE FUCK UP! Argh, just shouted at the screen. Not good. Scares the cat. It's up to DANICA'S BOYFRIEND what he puts up with, not HARVEY, not the British public, and not anyone else. Drop dead, Harvey, you hypocritical little fucknut. You sexist little weasel.
Brick has to go. The power has to go back to Danica and Coleen's side, or Julie and her ASBO alliance are going to win this fucker. Do the right thing. Save Danica AND Coleen.

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