Monday, 16 June 2008

Film Review: Teeth

Two films in one weekend? That's a big commitment if you're me and have the attention span of an idiot. I downloaded Teeth after hearing about it's 'unusual' storyline- namely that of a girl with a vagina that bites bloke's dicks off. Yummy!
So it was part horror/ part comedy. It was quite slow to start I thought (maybe a bit of dick-chomping action to kick off might have been nice) but once things started happening (in the cave!) it picked up. I liked the boyfriend! He was cute. But he got what he deserved! Hehehe. The special effects were pretty good, his severed penis looked extremely realistic (puke!)
I did want to SEE the teeth in the vagina, sick as I am. And why did she peel that sticker off the drawing of the fanny in her science book when she could have just looked at a diagram online?
There was a weird subplot with her brother (stepbrother, I hope) doing girls up the arse because he was scared of fanny (since hers bit his finger when he was little). He was a very unpleasant character, and not in the slightest bit realistic. But there you go. Why was he touching her bits in the first place? I definitely did NOT play tha game when I was a nipper.
It did raise some interesting questions. Why was virtually every bloke she encountered a rapist or sex offender (including her doctor!)? Are all men potential rapists? Was the film written by a radical feminist? It seemed a TAD harsh! But I must admit, it would be pretty cool to bite someone's dick off with your vagina. It is the ultimate self-defence.
Definitely worth a watch if you're not squeamish, if you are, I wouldn't want to be eating when she shags the ugly guy with the long hair. My eyes! That was revolting. I'd have nightmares about that if I was a bloke.
So yeah, vaginas and penises! Cool, if I put loads of sex words in my blog, I get loads more hits! *tags lots of naughty words*


* (asterisk) said...

I must say I'm intrigued, despite my better judgment, cos I just know it'll be shite. Maybe when it comes to magical silver disc of joy.

Fascinating fact: About 12 years ago, I used to have a postcard on our fridge showing a vadge with teeth.

lightupvirginmary said...

I think it's worth a watch. It's silly and gross but fun.

lightupvirginmary said...

pps. vadge! :-0 haha.

* (asterisk) said...

Is "vadge" funny?

Anonymous said...

I think the massage was that all men are potential rapists just because they can. Her toothed vagina changed things: now she's the one to fear from. At first, she felt awful about what happened to the guys, even though they deserved it. Later she used it to hurt someone that hurt her in a non-sexual way. She realized she has power, and she is not hesitating to use it. She becomes the potential rapist! (well, the potential peniscutter). The beautiful thing is that her potential victims are not aware of their weakness, therefore giving her plenty of reason to bite them. But could she really give it up if they wouldn't?

(You can always trust me to find a depressing message in a stupid comedy film:D)


lightupvirginmary said...

you're spot on, 5am. I think it did have a deeper message, too. As well as a bit of gore. :-)