Saturday, 21 June 2008

Big Brother 9: Hot Juicy Tea (blergh!)

I'm a day late but here's my verdict on the anti-eviction. Rex 'I've cooked from anything from thousands to four' (never a ready meal for one?) is the new enemy in town: 'I'm just giving them what they want' even though they don't actually want it. I still like him though. Kat- not as stupid as she looks, warning Rex to play it down a little. I suspect he won't listen. Everyone seems to like Kat in the house, good for them, but I think she's a div.
Mario: 'I'd be good at most things in here.' whilst Lisa fawns at his feet. Keep Mario in, he's endlessly entertaining.
I love the fact they overspent on the shopping by £102! Just a slight error: you couldn't get away with that in Tesco.
Rebecca in jail was funny but you shouldn't be allowed to write things in BB *solemnly remembers Nasty Nick and his note passing*. Jail doesn't seem that bad if you can have beer in it.
Straighters! YAWN. Is Sylvia in training as a mini-Alex? I feel increasingly sorry for Mo. And I find it highly unlikely that he asked her to pretend to be a celebrity couple, why didn't they show it? If she made that up, she's proper devious.
Mario and Lisa's voyeristic underwear-clad dancing to 'turn around, Bright Eyes.' (that's what is should be called) was so revolting it almost became good. I honestly felt like I might vomit. I can't even comment on the looking in the mirror/ arse-slapping/ custard-cream horrorfest. Their poor children! They are made for each other though, aren't they, a perfect pairing of cringeworthy vanity.
Alex interview: good, I'd glad she didn't do the whole Jade Goody-bullshit 'I'm so sowwy' card. I wouldn't have bought it if she'd been dabbing her eyes and apologising. You don't get over such severe cuntitis in the space of a couple of days. Davina went pretty easy on her; she was probably scared. Lovely to hear from you Alex, now just fuck off.
Now housemate Stuart. Awful beard, closet gay, 25 going on 40, probably quite obnoxious. Just what we need, a metrosexual scunt (scarf-wearing cunt). At least Dale looked annoyed because Jennifer looked a bit starry-eyed. I wish I could care but it would take a lobotomy.

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