Monday 9 June 2008

Big Brother 9: Disability Chic

Let's get one thing straight. The argument in the kitchen was not about Michael. The only person who dragged him into it was Mario, who is trying to be so PC he's coming off like Richard Madelely patronising a dwarf times a thousand. Mikey must be torn: it's obvious that he must dislike Mario, but Mario helps him around the place so he has to keep him onside. It was awful when he cried: it must be so confusing for him being in that house. It's bad enough when you can see the bloody thing.
And so the wedding, which like all weddings became boring after about ten seconds, but the discussions surrounding it seemed to go on for an eternity. I can't believe Alexandra actually objected; I'd also like to object to her disgusting forehead and face like a slapped arse.
I hope Steph goes: she made bugger all effort in the task. Lisa conducted herself with brilliant dignity, she genunely seemed bemused by it all and I loved it when she grabbed the bouquet. She IS a big girl though, isn't she? As is Rebecca, who had a Goody/Kinga moment in the garden, but it didn't have the shock value of either. The resident fat bird taking off her clothes is almost obligatory now.
On my boring list: Jennifer (so boring it took me ten seconds to remember her name), Mo, Dennis.
On my borderline boring list but might do something interesting: Darnell, Sylvia
On my shit list: Alexandra
On my 'these people are vaguely human' list: Mario, Lisa, Luke, Rex, Rachel
Mikey is a weird one; but his presence in the house does bring out interesting things in people (Rachel for example, is masterfully kind without being patronising), Rex I think I like but I've not seen enough of, and Dale? Is he trying to catch flies with that mouth? You can see his brain clicking into gear about forty years later than anyone else. God help them when they have to do a task, they'll spend a weekend explaining it to him. And for god's sake, don't let him write the shopping list; it'll read: Nuts magazeen, beer, sossiges... and that's before the adding up takes place. Thank God he's not being let loose on our unassuming children.
I think it was quite telling when they found out the results of the task and cheered that their fellow housemates were up for eviction: you don't normally get that on the UK BB, it's normally pussyfooting around and 'oh, it should have been me.'
So yeah, this lot are grasping, selfish bastards, basically. Hurrah!

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