Thursday, 1 September 2011

Celebrity Big Brother - We're not taking beep from no one

Am I getting fed up with Big Brother? A bit. I've just got Sky and I feel myself being drawn to crime documentaries instead. And that's a shame. This should be amazing. And it's just mediocre. And that's partly the celebs, but partly the format.
Do I think Darryn really scares Tara? Maybe, but the kettle probably scares Tara. The trees probably scare Tara. It means very little.
Today is Kerry's daughter's birthday. I don't give a fuck.
If Jedward used my eyeliner to tattoo themselves, I wouldn't be happy. What eyeliner is that? It looks good, like marker pen.
Pamela got arrested for drink driving: 'they treated me like a criminal!' No shit. Drink driving is one of the grossest crimes you can commit. You could kill someone, buttercup.
Do you think Big Brother set this 'punk rock' crap up? My boyfriend pointed out the other day that Jedward don't swear. I want to see Jedward gobbing on people, smoking fags and calling Darryn a motherfucker. 'I hate you, chair! I hate you.' Oh, no, I just realised their single is called 'Bad Behaviour'. I feel cheap now. This whole thing is just a stitch up, isn't it? Don't tell me, Amy Childs knows how to spell antidisestablishmentarianism as well (nb. I spelt that right first time, woop) and Paddy is teaching proper enunciation in his spare time.
Jedward are being quite annoying today. Yet, even as punks, they are respecting the carpet.
Kerry's shouting brought back flashbacks of her shit reality show. 'Maaaaaaaarkkkk!' *shiver*
I like a contrite Jedward and Bobby telling them it's OK. Basically whatever the opposite to popular opinion is, that's Bobby's opinion. It's not really a personality, but it works as as housemate.
Amy is crying over an eyeliner right now. But I've cried over worse. She's probably on the rag. SORRY, couldn't resist. Bad buzz!
I don't want Kerry to get her phonecall home. They might as well give them all a fucking phone card and access to Twitter. I DON'T CARE ABOUT THESE PEOPLE'S FAMILIES.
Fuck the stars and fuck the moon and fuck everything else, it's just a fucking OK DEAL. Stop insulting my intelligence!
Then she comes out going 'I was ONLY allowed to speak to Molly.' ONLY? You're in fucking BIG BROTHER, you arsehole! You should only be allowed to speak to STRANGERS!
I know it might not matter to SOME PEOPLE but I actually care about this programme, and the boundaries that make it GREAT. It is the erosion of those boundaries that are making this show suck. Broken Big Brother!
Paddy showed his real personality a bit then when he couldn't understand how Bobby could hang out with Jedward in the real world. Paddy is so quick to take offence.
Do you think anything's ever come out of Lucien's mouth that's not crass or misogynistic?
Hiccup song. One way to cure hiccups.
Lucien is such a letch! Kerry should stay as far away as possible, because that's got unhappy ending written all over it. Lucien is drunk. Oh, now he says he's got a girlfriend! Oh, he's hedging his bets. Honestly, he behaves more immaturely than Jedward, it's all bluster and bullshit. Oh, Kerry turned away straight away. He looks twitchy now.
I will say one thing for Bobby, I think he would have been good on the live feed. I think he would have stayed up a bit. But we'll never know.
PS. Believe it or not, I cut about ten 'fucks' out if this blog. Just in case Jedward's 'mammy' is reading.

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