Friday, 2 September 2011

Celebrity Big Brother - (Don't) get the meat

Whassup? The cats are running up and down the hallway, I've got a can of diet Pepsi on the go, let's get ready to rock and roll.
I voted to save Tara, yes, actually rang up and voted for the first time, because I'd hate to see her go over some of those other arseholes.
If even Amy has twigged Kerry and Lucien fancy each other, it must be true. I think 'they deserve each other' might be about right, but not for the reason she thinks.
Shopping task! They're finally getting them to do a bit of endurance! In BBUSA they make them hang off a hook for 48 hours to see who wants it most. I can't see that happening here. Wimps! Paddy, I thought you were meant to be a hardman?
I think Darryn or Bobby might go tonight. I mean, who would ring to save them? I doubt if their own mothers would bother jotting down the number. If they have writing implements in the house.
LOl to Kerry's screw face when Lucien was checking out Amy. He's what's known as a cunt tease. Oh, no, I forgot, that phrase DOESN'T EXIST because we live in a patriarchy.
Jedward vs Kerry and Bobby, or Kobby, as I like to call them. Jedward: 'you're going down, further down.' I can't see that one catching on.
LOL at Jedward being sent out to do the shopping (except the contact with the outside world, obv). I see it like the Common People vid. But with more crashing. Fuck me, Jedward probably don't even know who Pulp are.
Ha, Jedward can get their revenge for Darryn being the Tell Off Man whilst he was doing the shopping list. Paddy asked for shoe polish?! Is that really his top priority?
LIDL! LOL. Hope they don't want anything in particular, except Polish chocolate.
Get the bread! No, get the MEAT. *vom* Urgh, Lidl's meat is fucking rank. I couldn't eat that. I like the fact one is just issuing orders with a megaphone rather than helping.Lidl bread is horrid. The only thing I ever used to buy from Lidl was their £12.99 champagne. It was ace. But then they put it up to £15 and that was the end of that. Plus they always ID you in there. It's boring. I'm 31, ffs.
LOL to Jedward waking people up at 3am to tell them they didn't get any biscuits. Hilarious. They got some good sweets. They do have excellent sweets in Lidl. I like the giant pack of cola bottles they do.
Darryn is safe! WTF. Why? Lucien! Urgh! Tara better not go. WTF! She did! Why? This vote to save is bullshit. I always thought it would be good. But it ISNT. I'm quite mad now. This is entirely the wrong result. I never thought I'd say this, but if the 'normal' BB goes like this (ie. unfairly) I'm not even going to bother with it. Yes, I did just say that. C5 have driven me to it! Something is rotten. And I don't think this would have happened if we had live feed. I hate being out of touch with the BB audience. It makes me feel out of sorts. Well done, viewers, you just evicted the nicest person in the house.
The truth is, the only good thing about this Big Brother is Jedward. On launch night my phone was buzzing with texts. Launch night I watched it twice, once repeated when my boyfriend got in. Now: there's silence. My boyfriend said he aint going to watch it tonight. No one cares. It's a shame. Didn't we almost have it all.
Tara: 'It can get clicky in the house.' And that's just Kerry Katona's knees. (sorry)
I don't like them setting up Tara as this paranoid/ game player etc. So what? That's the whole point!
LOL to her having a go at Brian, that was pretty funny. Ooh, she looks mad. I don't know why she's so mad. She wasn't stitched up, she did go on like that. She was also pretty cool when she wanted to be. Her being annoyed is entertaining.
Wow, I actually don't like one person in that house, except Jedward, and they're not really a person, more of an invention. Paddy, OK, decent guy, but something bad lurking underneath and boring housemate. Amy: nothing between the ears. Bobby: no heart. Lucien: no spine. Kerry: no integrity. Darryn: just no.
I've got a sinking feeling! This isn't how it should be. My friend said she misses the human decency and boredom. It's true, we're not allowed to breathe for a minute. We have to be 'entertained', told how to feel. Please, C5, have a rethink. If you have the equipment to think it with.
PS: They put Million Pound Plop on at the same time as BB! I'd love to see the viewing figures.

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