Wednesday, 7 September 2011

Celebrity Big Brother - The Dull Monty

Do Jedward have friends? Do they even like their own brother? Have they even kissed a girl? I want to know these things.
Kerry is 31. I am 31. Can I imagine having four kids? No. Would I get off with a 19 year old? If I was single I would. Why not?
To be fair, the only time Amy WAS all over Lucien was when she was pissed out of her head. If you sleep with a very drunk girl, the law says she can't consent and it's technically rape. So her snogging him when she was out of her tree, is hardly an indication of undying romance, just severely impaired judgement, which he was happy to take advantage of.
Is Kerry embarrassed of the things she's done in the house, or out of it? Hard to say. This is an Oscar winning performance here in the DR. You're going to have to kill Jedward first, kiddo. What's the prize on this show anyway? Another thing I don't know. I'll add it to the list.
Why is Jedward doing Big Brother's voice in a German accent? A dig at Lucien. Nice.
Paddy, stop hating on the Haribo and talking about your mummy.
I didn't pay attention to the task because I was looking at cat trees. Darryn bragging about the women he's allegedly bedded. Gross.
Jedward in hotpants was quite sexy. I like his thighs. Even my boyfriend fancies Jedward now. It's pretty much compulsory on the current reality TV curriculum.
Big Brother should not kowtow to demands to play music into the house.
Kerry does look better now she's not totally clad in knitwear. Interesting how Amy reacts when Kerry dolls up, and it's not just fantasy, she does get competitive. She's a bit of a spoilt brat, really. That strip was whack, I preferred Jedward's one.
Just some retrospective filler at the end. Come on now, it's hardly been a legacy year. This aint the dream factory, more like the snooze shoebox.
VOTE JEDWARD. And if you vote for Lucien or Bobby I'm gonna come round there and stamp on your fingers. And your phone. And your BABIES! You have been told.

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