Sunday, 1 July 2012

Big Brother 13: The lowest of the low

Good evening. Looks like Becky's the new dog to kick. Oh well, suits me fine. They're all as bad as each other and the 'outsiders' need a break, even though all my favourite outsiders have already gone.
Fuck off Becky, giving it 'who is she?' in the DR. Don't make me pine for years when there were actually decent contestants. 'Shev is old enough to be my mother.' Really? I don't think so.
Becky doesn't give two shits. That's why she's bawling. Sara is saying sorry to you, you idiot. Take it in the spirit it's intended. 'I'm 19!' What does this even mean? Excuse me for being an idiot, I'm 19? At 19 I was doing my degree and had written two novels! STFU. At 18 you can legally do ANYTHING. You're an adult. You don't hear Harry Styles going 'but I'm 17!' before he gets into bed with all those older laydeeeeez, do you? Shev to Becky: 'you're bubbly.' Yes, about 18 stone of bubbly.
This desperate plea for airtime - sorry, 'romantic picnic' - is beyond comment. What does Luke see in her? A friend of mine said Luke S does have his good side, and it's true, given a different set of friends maybe he'd come over a bit better in the house... I mean, he does have half a braincell. But even so, he is still ultimately a douchebag of the highest order and his showmance is about as believable as that alien landing in that woman's back garden on Beadle's About* (*old person's reference).
I'm actually feeling embarrassed for Arron every time he speaks now. What a sad, sad character. 'Smoking hot birds'. What a little prick. He's going to be so embarrassed when he grows up a bit and he watches this back.
Cooking task... zzz. BB isn't trying to shit stir the Lauren, Ashleigh and Luke situation, is he? I think Luke said 'crisps' about 1,000 times. I like crisps, much more than the next girl, but it's not that exciting.
It would be better if Lauren couldn't see who was cooking what and had to choose blind. I don't think she'll dare choose Luke S. And she didn't. I'm glad Luke and Lauren have seen through Luke S being nice to them. He's such a gameplayer.
I'd rather have money than flowers, too. Luke S is trying to tie Deana up in knots. She gave her his opinion. He doesn't like it. Deana: say it to him about the fake relationship! You'll instantly become my favourite housemate.
Look at Becky shit-stirring; what a horrible person. She'd do anything to 'get in with the gang.' Scott is actually showing he's got balls a bit lately, refusing to rat on Deana. Good on him.
Ashleigh: Deana is right about your relationship; it is the lowest of the low. No feelings, just sex, patronising and desperation.
GO DEANA! At last, someone gets off the fence. 'Your fake relationship is disgusting'. Wicked. Luke S's body language was brilliant. Yeah we will see when you get out! He'll drop that rat-faced little thicko faster than Becky dropped Deana after that 'favourite housemate' challenge. It's not ideal to start a row right before nominations, but at least someone's speaking the truth at last.
What is Caroline TALKING about? Yes, Deana, play down the fact you're successful to fit in with the thickos; they've already got rid of the two most 'famous' people in the house.
This show is soooo boring right now. It needs a kick up the arse right now. Sort it out this week, please.

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