Monday, 5 July 2010

Big Brother 11: Matress Reloaded

Why is BB on at 8? Now I can’t watch Corrie or Enders! Badness. I have no internet or freeview at the mo so had to try and get my video to work! I didn’t like it. Old technology; you defeated me. New technology: you defeated me.
Is Big Brother even going to work without the swearing? My reality TV buddy JOTV texted me after work to say Shabby had gone walkies. She must have been missing Uncle Biffa. RIP Shabs. You made your mother proud.
So they’re going to buy Steve a new leg, as his current one is on loan. Some seemed keener on that idea than others, didn’t they, Dave. Leg gate! Who did Steve borrow the leg from? The legbrary? I know I wouldn't want to stump up for it! Hohohohohoho.
I liked Mario explaining history to Corin with the use of the ‘big hand’ and the ‘little hand’. Is he going to make sure she eats her dinner with the choo choo train? Mario thinks the Loch Ness Monster is '20 to 30 meters long'. Unconfirmed reports are coming in that Mario's winkie is 3 centimetres long.
Which cause does Ben want to give his imaginary winnings to? Probably restoring Windsor Castle. Or the Raef from The Apprentice benevolent fund. I don't think it's something he needs to worry about too much as he's going to be out this week anyway the way he's behaving.
Do you think we would have got to see the girls flash if it was after 9pm? Or would it have been hidden from us, just like Mario's dinkle? Conspiracy.
God, I hate Ife. She's a total div. Keever and Shabby are 100% tool, don't get me wrong, but the whole situation just stinks of teenage angst. Shabby and Keever being bitter because someone is having fun? No shit. It's a national cunt disco.
Bedgate! Ooh, Corin is getting angry. Back off, she's radioactive.
John James looked like he wanted to be in the bedroom rather than at the party with proud-to-be-a-moron Corin, Neanderthal Nathan, idiot Ife and Saint Steve. Who can blame him? (And this line-up, by the way, is what you've got to look forward to in the final three weeks, mark my words).
Ife's idea of a 'wicked time' and mine is something different. I think Ife thinks she's coming off as some sort of renegade who we're all sitting at home cheering on when actually we just think she's a whingey little turncoat dullard.
Ife STOP BEING SO SANCTIMONIOUS. Careful, Ife, your dignity is getting compromised. I wish Ife was in a fishbowl, being held under. But to be fair to her, she did say quite clearly 'I don't want to talk right now'. So why not just leave her be?
Keever's neck vein looked ready to pop.
Shabby and Keever looked genuinely depressed in the diary room. At least Shabby actually meant it about leaving this time. So what will Keever do when she's gone? Wage war on Ife? Make friends with Ife?
I felt a bit sad watching her go. I don't know why. Oh yeah I do. It's because as much of a dimlo as Shabby was, at least she had a personality. The rest of the house can barely scrape together one between them.

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