Thursday, 15 July 2010

Big Brother 11: I can't bear Bisto

Sorry I'm late, I went to writing group tonight, and now I'm using those skills right here. Aren't you lucky? Corin's waist is TINY! None of them know what cougar is a euphemism for. I don't think Josie is much bigger than a 14, she's just pear-shaped. Dave is idiotic to say that to her. I don't think he said it with malice but he should know better.
Keever, why DIDN'T you put Dave up? Epic fail.
Who is the cougar? Davina, I reckon.
Corin's outfit makes me ashamed to be female. Superhero? Super sexist, more like. This task is perverse. I liked her stopping to put lipstick on. 'I don't give a shit if my eyebrows wipe off' as she snogs an ice-sculpture's waist.
Did Josie just say 'what's the matter with you, cunts?' I certainly hope so. They shouldn't put this dangerous shit into Josie's head about John James fancying her. It can only end in tears.
Since when did Corin like Ben?! I feel like I've missed something.
Love the fact Ben gets out first. He is so camp in those tiger pants.
Keeley HAS got a good arse. Wow. Four foot eleven! That's smaller than me. Loved Josie's comment of 'I wish she'd bugger off'. Funny! I'd like to drive that little blue car.
Mario: 'I'd better get back to my hos!' He needs to jerk off, for real. He's getting out of control. He'll be straight within the week.
Ife is such a shit stirrer. She is the one who pushed Shabby into telling Keever, and started that shit snowball. She's like Cilla Black gone wrong.
Alloy vera! That's what Desperate Dan uses for face cream.
Oh god, this whole Josie thing makes me feel terrified. She's going to get so hurt. The second she confesses she fancies him, he holds all the cards, and she loses her appeal. It's going to end up in a bloodbath.
Rachel looks quite good in that purple wig.
Urgh, that food looks like vomit.
As predicted, Ife sticks her claw in. Oh God, now Keever's going to tell him. John James isn't saying no! His crab eyes are on overtime.
Look at John James's bling! DOES he fancy her? Maybe it's one of those situations where he doesn't want to admit it because he's embarrassed to admit it in front of his friends. He could easily have shut that conversation down, but he prolonged it! Curiouser and curiouser...

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