Tuesday, 27 July 2010

Big Brother 11: My whites are boiling over

Jo is whipping out the old 'I'm not being funny'. She's like a badly written Eastenders character. I know that doesn't narrow it down.
Is John James still giving it the 'brother/sister' nonsense?
Ben having a go at Josie trying to be sexy! Bad. Naughty Ben. I don't think John knew what he was saying; or he pretended not to.
I like Mario's multicoloured nails! I'm going to try that. Online game chat. It's all a bit IT crowd but without the lols.
Ah, Dave automatically up; the producers are obviously trying to get shot of him this week, and not before time. I don't think John James would get that punishment, do you?
NOMS! I'd love to see Rachel go this week. No wonder Andrew is scared of Steve; Steve could crush him with his thumb.
Corin is in Ben's pocket with that nomination for Rachel, methinks.
Perhaps John should have said to Ben what he said in the diary room about Ben. I wasn't even sure he'd understood it at the time. He should have stuck up for Josie to Ben's face.
Josie nominated Ben to clear the bed next to her and John James, basically.
Mario is really getting on my wick right now. The mole thing seems a long, long time ago.
Rachel just nominated the two biggest characters in the house. Dur.
Steve nommed John and Josie! He's probably worried they're getting more airtime than him.
Ooh, all males up this week! I really hope Dave goes. I'm glad Steve's up, that'll give him a little shock.
Big Brother, how about just not including 'inaudible' bits in the highlights? Or just make something up. Uh-oh, tantrum time again! ANGUISH! Oh, the agony. Just snog, idiots. I think John James is worried about what other people think. That's about it.
John James's heart to heart with his new BFF forever was so dumb. OMG did you check out his necklace? JJ2 is a failed boy band member, dressed by Cromwell's Madhouse.
JJ2 looked more bothered that John went walkies that Josie did. DON'T DO IT JOHN! HE'S NOT WORTH IT! Josie unphased: 'he'll be back in a minute'. LOL!
As if they'd let John James walk. He's our leading man.
JJ1: 'please understand!'
JJ2: 'I can't understand!' Moving stuff. Who are all these people in the runs? They look like ghostly figures; apparitions. There's strange people in Big Brother every day this week. I'd be concerned it's going to go all Dead Set.
John James tortured in a tunnel, crying. This is the stuff teenage girl's dreams are made of! Who needs R-Pattz?
Poor Josie. The pain is written all over her face. Make no mistake; John James is concerned with how this looks to the outside. I'm not saying his feelings for Josie aren't real; but his feelings for himself run stronger.
God, can you imagine these two in a real relationship? Bags would be packed and clothes thrown from windows on a daily basis.
John should back off from her if he's really not interested. And I already know they snog tomorrow. So it's clearly the most mixed signals ever. And Corin said those exact words as I wrote them.
Aliengate! Don't deny Roswell, Ben! I saw the film.
Pinnochio ought to try and carve out a role for themselves in the house that's not Littlejohn's bitch.
What is up with Mario? I think he's lost his mind. He comes in and stares Ben out. Poor Ben. He's right, Mario is being a total shit right now. I think he's realised he's not going to win it and become unhinged as a result.
Did John James just kiss Josie and then go 'don't say anything' like a child molester?
What's up with Laura? Did Mario's psycho act just push him over the edge? Corin gave good advice then. I think she'd be good to turn to in a crisis. She must have been through the mill herself, she's younger than me and she's been widowed and gone lesbian. I barely leave the house.
Oh, Laura, just walk already. Get Tubbs in! You're not adding one single thing. In fact, you're taking away, as on the last live feed I watched I had to listen to yours and Jo's inane conversation instead of seeing some red-hot John and Josie whispering. Oh...

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