Big Brother 11: Davina of Devastation

TOOHOT!
Davina's going to be talking to Shabby? What's the point, she's old news. I know there's new housemates going in. I wasn't impressed with their photos.
Vote out the man-chimp!
Oh god, not more robot bullshit. Someone take the batteries out, please, Johnny five.
That was creepy when the robot gave Dave a message from his wife.
I liked Steve's joke about Ben being little Lord Fauntleroy. Hitler! Ben loves to defend the indefensible. I like that about him. It's nice to hear them talk politics in the Big Brother house. Oooh! Steve giving it to Ben was quite good. He's had his legs blown off, so he is entitled to have a strong view on war. Ben should appreciate that.
Dave vs Keever! Ding ding. The devil and the deep blue sea. Keever is just starting on him, to be fair. But I don't blame her.
Steve attacked that task with gusto. Nathan criticising the egg whisking- zzz. Read it and weep, battery man.
SO MANY ADVERTS. I wonder if Raoul Moat will be dead by the end of this blog?
John James's impression of Corin was pretty spot on.
Urgh Dave don't talk with your mouthful whilst talking about your wife's skintight catsuit.
Can't believe Ife let Nathan shave her head like that. I wouldn't trust him. It looked cool though.
Aw to Mario and John kissing. I bet John kisses girls like that too.
Part two. Moat's not dead but Gazza has gone to join him. It truly is a loopy old world. It's been a funny week for slebs, what with Ronaldo becoming a single parent, and the People's Princess catching malaria. Only the psychic octopus can save us now.
FUCK SHABBY! Why is she getting an interview of Davina? She should get George Lamb and be damned.
Why did they never show Keever proposing to her boyfriend? Too embarrassing! Saw her boyfriend on BBLB. He wasn't bad.
John James; putting his coat on was the lols. BYE NATHAN. Why are they cheering him? He was one of the most rubbish housemates ever, and that's saying something. they sent him out to Richard Ashcroft; enough said.
Nathan got 89% of the vote! Love it! Long live misogynistic psychopath John James!
Nathan's attitude is disgusting, he speaks to people like dirt but without a hint of a sense of humour. Not sorry to see the back of him. Even callers ringing up to slag him were boring.
New housemates! Keeley. Confident blonde, so no doubt John James will brow-beat the fuck out of her.
Andrew. Enjoys being articulated. He's not lost his virginity, let's be honest.
Rachel (the 2nd). Oh, God, a Liverpool accent. It always makes me think of Sporty Spice. is this really the best they had to offer?
Davina slagging off Keever's hair! I think Keever's hair is cool. Back off.
Mario will like the new housemates going in in a spaceship. Ben won't.
Ife needs to ditch that raggedy old wig fast.
It would have been better if they hadn't used that Bob Righter thing and just sent the spaceship in. The spaceship looked blue peter stylee. Still, they are spending a few quid this year.
Is Mario so desperate he would want THIS guy? ARGH they fucking KNOW THEM! Bullshit.
Sorry this blog sucked. I'm too sweaty to be funny. I just need to chisel myself from the sofa. Slurp!