Friday, 30 July 2010

Big Brother 11: Change your taste in Ben

So did Laura let the cat out of the bag? Is Sam going in over Tubbs? Good, I want someone hateful to go in, not like all these other dullards.
That model has a nice bum. Why can't he be a housemate? I've never seen so many people in the bathroom all at once!
Davina in the house was quite funny. Better than when she went in in that ridiculous farmyard garb. Ooh, John James looks hot in that eyeliner! Davina licked his face and he RECOILED!
Ben is disgusted by new Tampax IN A PACKET! Never go to a festival, Ben. I can't work out if he's being sexist or just ignorant. Still, why do BB have to show that right now?! SOB (Save our Ben).
YES! Dave saying 'make-up is helping ugly women get laid for centuries'! That was the sound of a thousand phones being picked up.
This conversation between John and Andrew is cringeworthy! That was entirely for the benefit of the cameras as far as I'm concerned. He is playing that game!
Why is Gok Wan having his picture taken with Steve? *racist*
It makes me feel physically sick when Dave says he's got stuff bubbling up in his belly. It makes vomit bubble up in my throat.
I couldn't not cuddle my boyfriend if he was there. Was Dave's wife the blonde one? She looked a bit nice for him! That task is a headfuck.
Corin, 'you can never be too brown'. True, but you can be too orange.
How could people hate Ben!? He is the LOLS! Get that fat CUNT Dave out NOW!
JEDWARD! I saw Jedward on Live From Studio Five earlier, they were AMAZING. I also read an interview with them recently where they said the following: 'People only throw tantrums and storm out of rooms slamming the door BECAUSE THEY'VE SEEN IT IN A MOVIE.' Just stop to consider that for a second. Imagine if you learnt my entire emotional range from 80s films. They are quite special little things, aren't they (Jedward, not extra terrestrials).
I wish Mario would get a grip, he's unravelling in that place. Dear Mario, stop being such a DOUCHE. You were a hero once. You didn't talk to your granddad because you didn't NOTICE HIM!
Ben has got nuff makeup on! He looks 80s. OMG! DAVE IS SAFE OVER BEN! This is fucking bullshit! What the fuck is wrong with people? Seriously, does Dave provide more entertainment in that house than Ben? I am DISGUSTED.
I am literally screaming at the TV. Dave is SCUM! Ben looks scared. I don't like anyone else in there!
It just feels like the end of Big Brother for me right now. My Big Brother heart feels broken. The show is ending this year and there's no one I love in there; Ben is the only one I cared about. I BLUBBED.
Why the fuck did John James get such a big cheer? I seriously want Andrew to win now. Fuck John James. FUCKING RACHEL IS IN THERE AND BEN'S NOT. ARGH!
What Ben brought to the table was panache, Davina.
Ben looks nervous. I hope they don't let the public abuse him. Don't crawl to Rachel, she's a complete tool.
My God, Ben got 52% of the vote. How is that possible?
Ben: 'my mum's in exile in Switzerland'. Oh, I will miss him. Idiot fucking public, I despise you. Cheers.
Sam Pepper! Please spice things up. A massacre would probably hit the spot. You could become my new favourite so very easily right now. Especially as apparently he upset Ife in the auditions. They should make him evict one housemate of his choice in front of them.
Can you imagine being in Jedward's backing band? I'd rather do that than be in Scouting for Girls. Or be anywhere near Joss Stone.
I think I love Jedward. They are not quite human, but they'd be good to play with.
Jedward are like mad imps trashing the place! Ooh Jedward got in trubs. LOL! Jedward just set the fire alarm off! Quality.
Jedward are shiny. Perhaps housemates shouldn't ignore the fire alarm. It might set a dangerous precedent.

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