Wednesday, 22 July 2009

Big Brother 10: I didn't come to this show to be called a cunt

I'd gone off Bea a bit but as soon as Lisa said 'I don't trust her' I changed my mind. She wants someone 'spiritual who plays the guitar'. Urgh. I couldn't think of anything worse.
I have no clue who or what Stavros Flatley is, so I doubt if Charlie knows, as what he does know wouldn't fill up a colouring book.
Hmm, what stupid shit has Karly done in the past? Shall we take a guess *porno*? Sophie going 'aww' at Kenneth's tales of making girls wait outside the gym for him. Retard.
Another Charlie/Rodrigo fight edited to make no sense. Zzzz. I watched a fair bit of live feed last night and Charlie trying to unauthentically matchmake Rodrigo and and the pig-thick David was just pathetic. Charlie's got it bad, make no mistake about it.
Hmm, this kebab task reminds me of something... ooh, the ice cream task! They really need to take a leaf out of Big Brother's book and ship in some rave juice. These tasks are unimaginative. Ooh, Charlie showing off. Great. Rodrigo looks under 12 with his shirt off, and that disturbs me.
Hira and Tom aren't getting much of an edit (because they're dull as fuck, I presume).
Urgh, Bea lecturing Kenneth on going out and having fun on £30 worth of cider was as patronising as him with his crocodile shoes bragging about buying Karly's latest sweatshop trinket. Yeah Bea, he's going to love hovering over a shit-filled portaloo whilst listening to some sub-par Jules Holland-style 'world' music whilst necking magic mushrooms with you, Freddie and Moonraker. I'll take the champagne and coke, if that's really the choice. Odious all round.
Anyone would think Bea was a supermodel the way she says Freddie's not her type. She looks 40, and a bit froggy, let's be honest, now.
Christ, Hira and Charlie crushing terrorism singlehandedly made Bruno's trip to Afghanistan look both wise and educational.
Karly asking BB for her contraceptive pills was inspired, and getting Kenneth to fetch them, even more so. I wonder if Karly or BB plotted it? I mean, it's not that hard to just go to the chemist, is it? And contraceptives aren't something women forget in a hurry, as a rule. It's not quite like Kenneth asking for condoms as you do have to continue taking the pill even if you're not having sex for it to carry on working. But even so, it's bloody funny.
'I could have any girl in the world I want'- does he really believe that? Does he REALLY? He makes that 'comprende' dude of yesteryear look well balanced. What does Kenneth try and convince himself he is instead of human? The terminator? Half-man, half-twat?
I saw some of this Siavash/ Noirin thing kick off last night, and was genuinely shocked. Siavash admitted he fancied her! What will Marcus say??? She will be the undoing of Siavash, mark my words. His poor girlfriend, watching her boyfriend fall into Noirin's flytrap/ hoodie-hole!
It was quite cheeky of Siavash to try and pull Noirin when the attention is all on Tom. This explains why Siavash always puts himself out for Noirin when she offers him little loyalty back.
God, Marcus coming in was cringy. It's actually frightening! Is Tom calling an Irish person a leperachaun racist?
God, Freddie is so creepy in bed, mmming and ahhing.
Marcus's controlling tactics are actually frightening to watch; especially on TV. Can you imagine what he's like behind closed doors. Noirin: 'can I just go talk to the diary room?' Does she need his permission now?! Marcus HAS to back off. He really has to.
Has something happened between Noirin and Siavash? He seems to be hinting at it. Noirin is going to get gang-raped in that house at this rate (and Davina will say she asked for it). Oh my god, she was even calling herself stupid in the diary room! Marcus will be checking how long her skirt is next and scrubbing her make-up off before deleting her parents number from her phone. She sure knows how to push his buttons!
David, you have about as much chance with Rodrigo as Marcus does with Noirin. Forget it, mate.
Are Siavash and Noirin going to have the first affair in the Big Brother house? How can they have an affair, she is not Marcus's belonging! Even I'm falling for it!
Bye bye to your hopes of winning now, Siavash. You're just another victim of the Noirin-virus.
Marcus is going to smash that place UP!

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