Saturday 27 July 2013

Big Brother 2013: The independent boojudicator

Oh, Dan. What a rubbish twist, with a crap payoff, and a worse outcome. Get rid of vote to evict, please, or the celeb version is going to be a non-starter.
Oh please, no, not a Dexter and Callum episode. I can't bear it. This series is tanking badly. It's sad, because it has been brilliant.
Ha, Dan dreamt he got evicted. He's even cracking cases in the land of nod.
I'm starting to like Hazel more and more and it's not just because she's an underdog. Everyone just keeps saying she's being evicted and she doesn't bat an eyelid. She IS titanium.
I can't even bear to look at the twins anymore, and knowing they outlasted Dan is quite soul-destroying, actually. It's funny that they're on a task about boos because they're obsessed with them.
Ugh, Sam, please don't go back to the stiffy talk, it makes me feel ill.
What bright spark thought of this task? Words that sound like other words. Spare me. Must be those posh little twits off BOTS.
Callum's leg is going like the CLAPPERS at the mere mention of Dexter's name. I heard Dexter ask Callum to live with him on the LF. Can't see that happening somehow.
Tanning task. They're obsessed with tanning in that place. Brown E's? Is that one that's been up your bum? Sam: 'Have you got a boner?' Ugh.
Interesting that they cut the bit they showed on BOTS of Callum and Sam trying to cuddle/ spread fake tan on the two outside people. Sexual assault, etc. Yawn. I do think Sam is capable of crossing that line, he just hasn't really been given the opportunity to hang himself.
Lettuce from home, har de har. What's Charlie crying about, she only saw her mum a week ago. Grow up, oxygen thief.
Did Callum really just say 'it smells so nice' about some brownies that don't exist?! That would make me VERY nervous about his possible gameplan/ trusting him. I thought he was 4realz! That was either worrying (ie. he's kidding himself) or he's really a fake. A big one.
Are those lettuces REALLY from home? If not, I'm calling trading standards. At least Sam is laughing. Dan is stabbing the fixtures and fittings.
The twins: 'who knows what they're going to throw at us tonight?' Rocks, I hope.
I don't want to watch this eviction again. It all left a bad taste in my mouth; 'get Hazel out', Sam not even understanding what was going on, Jack and Joe getting cheered, and of course, the result.
Sam looked so serious when he realised he was up. Callum is right to be mad about this twist; it does stink.
Charlie: 'There was a lot of boos tonight.' And didn't we bloody hear about it later!
Ha, they're chanting 'get Callum out' and 'get Sam out'. Harsh.
Funny that Marcus called Dan 'Daniel' over the loudspeaker. And so Dan skipped away. Aw.
Hazel: 'That was supposed to be me.' Oh, it should have been me. Everybody knows. Everybody says so. Hazel, if it was your time to go, you would have gone. Don't beat yourself us about this, cos this definitely isn't your fault. Much like that other thing. It's annoying that the other housemates are kind of blaming her for it. Like she's just acceptable to be in that position now.
I agree with Gina, this is the only eviction I'm unhappy about, too. WHY is everyone saying it was Hazel's time to go? Who decided?! It's pissing me off.
I think Hazel will really miss Dan. It's not like Charlie is a real friend to her. I love the fact she won't even cry and finds tears embarrassing. She's a tough cookie! I wish I was like that, strong and emotionless, it would make life a lot easier. I thought Hazel would walk, but now I don't think she will, she's too tough. She won't let that house break her. I admire her, actually.
I like Gina and Sam's relationship, they are such an odd couple. I think she really cares for him.
To clarify about boogate, which was on the LF, Callum said Sam got no boos and Charlie said he got 30% boos. Watching that back, I don't think Sam got boos, it was a hangover from Dan's boos. I'll be the independent boojudicator. There was an hour long conversation last night about the percentage of boos to cheers ratio for each housemate, which I can't believe even partly made it to the main show as it was so TEDIOUS. I want to find out what an average day for Gina is. I want to know more about sugarbabies. I want to hear about Sam's life (fat chance). Can you name one fact about Sophie? Instead, all I hear is about 'the public', the auditions, how they felt when they walked in, what people are saying about them, Emma Willis and their imaginary future careers. It's AWFUL. I wish they'd ban them from talking about the game full stop, as it's not even a game of strategy. Who ARE these people? Callum and Charlie can talk for an hour, and I still have no clue. Either they're as shallow as an egg cup, or they're just not letting us find out. So either way, fuck off. At least Dan would talk about life and show some humanity. Gina shows humanity when she chats with Sam. The twins don't talk about ANYTHING except public perception of them. They even mentioned a career in the 'entertainment industry' last night. You can't even fucking entertain us when you're given your own platform for seven weeks! GOOD LUCK! This is not what Craig 'plotting a very devioush plan' and Nasty Nick fell on their swords for.
Funny that Gina and Hazel both care about Dan but hate each other. Gina, Hazel wasn't up. It wasn't a choice between Hazel and Dan.
I didn't like it when Dexter said 'Dan took one for the team'.
I can't believe there's only a year between Hazel and Gina and Sam. It's crazy.
Dexter on Callum's cooking: 'Good attempt'! What a prick. I wouldn't 'attempt' to cook for that little shit again. I'd serve it to him in his lap.
Don't Sophie and Sam feel bad about Dan going? I'd feel mortified if I were them. Oh, Sophie did say she felt like it was her fault.
Callum: 'the love of Sam's life is me.' What IS he on about? I actually think he's cracking up. He's not quite right, you know. Must be those delicious brownies going to his head!
Callum, leave Hazel alone. 'I'd love a catch up with you.' You're not at work, Callum! Oh, Callum, just stop talking. I really hope he watches this show back and wonders, 'who the fuck am I?'
Hazel just said the same thing, he doesn't know who he is. He DOES try to hard, way too hard.
Dexter, Callum is NOT aggressive. He's weird, but not aggressive. And why are you inviting an 'aggressive' man to live with you? Dexter could push Callum over the edge, and is probably trying to. I'm glad Gina stuck up for him.
Oh God, did Dexter really just say 'opinions are like arseholes, we've all got one.' Twat. Dexter's really getting on my nerves at the moment. Gina has come on leaps and bounds from him and is leaving him for dust as far as winning's concerned.
Callum needs to relax and not let Dexter get to him. Take the glove of negativity and go get some help. Because Dexter WILL beat you. Because he's a fucker. So the best thing to do is ignore him. I think Callum might end up laying him out. Which TO BE FAIR, I'm only being honest and taking everything on board, would be GRRRRRRREAT TV.

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