Sunday, 28 July 2013

Big Brother 2013: Fakes one to know one

Cucumbergate! It was bad enough on live feed and now I have to witness the highlights of it, of which there were none. Here are the facts: Charlie is a dull, repetitive drunk who provokes people and shows no remorse. Dan would have sorted that argument out and stopped it going on for hours on end. Remembering Dan: the house rock.
Dexter: 'Alpha characters are going to have to rise up through the ranks.' Shut up! You're driving me nuts.
Callum will 'stick to what he does best.' What is that, exactly? He's 'man enough' to admit cooking's not one of his strengths. How manly.
I think Gina is targeting Hazel because she knows the public don't like her and she's capitalising on it. Her calling Hazel fake is a bit rich, to be honest.
Callum to Charlie: 'what do you see when you look in the mirror?' Is it... bad highlights? If that's a 'deep chat' God help us.
Home grown cucumbers! How lovely, I certainly hope nobody gets poked in the eye with one, lol.
Charlie is being a cow not even committing to seeing Callum in the outside when she's always hanging out with him in the house. Why doesn't she just say 'I don't fancy you, but yeah we can go out for a drink as friends if you're ever in [wherever she and her bitch mother lives].' DONE! Otherwise, if you're really not interested in even being friends, stop talking to him.
Art attack. I like the red lippy and the berets. Sam drew Dexter kissing Charlie's arse. Gina drew herself as a white person. Charlie mentioned her JOURNEY. I'd like to journey my fist down her throat and shit her up. Dexter mentioned his journey, too. Is it journey tourettes today? JOURNEY! Callum has drawn a big black dick.
The twins, 'I'm not being funny...' we know you're not!
Oh, they're getting real letters from home. Remember when Dexter said he didn't want photos from home because it was a sign of weakness? I liked that Dexter. My boyfriend hates the letters from home. They make me blub because I'm a sap.
Couldn't Charlie have got a letter from a family member who wasn't mad Jackie? 'Learn from your mistakes.' Take no advice from this old bitch is my advice.
I wonder if Hazel had pertinent parts of her letter blacked out like in prison? Hers seemed very generic.
Gina's letter was nice from her mum, very personal and genuine.
Nice of Sam's parents to invite Callum over. It's more than Charlie could muster. Dexter's mum bigged up Gina! Strategy.
Hazel, don't show signs of weakness! It's against your ethos.
Gina is telling Charlie to think before she speaks. I guess Charlie is not listening. Callum: 'It's going to be good every day from now on.' If you say so. Cue cucumbers.
I thought cucumber was good for the eyes. I wish Hazel could get Charlie evicted for poking her in the eye with a cucumber. Charlie is interminable. The whole thing was a joke and not worth arguing about. Callum said, 'yeah she was aggressive, but there was no malice there.'
Charlie, I suggest you stop drinking. Hazel, milk the eye injury! Get her an eye patch.
It's not Hazel's fault that Charlie got called to the DR. Hazel AND the twins face was PRICELESS when Charlie said, 'it's like how Daley felt.' In fact, Hazel went through several faces in the LF.
Charlie proceeded to make the whole thing about how she'd been wronged for the next hour and a half; believe me, I watched it.
Charlie's defence of 'I don't think before I speak' is wearing thin, and if she can't control her mouth when she's drinking, then stop drinking.
Dexter and Sophie were both slagging her off at this point, so the fact she went to them for solace was quite funny.
Why is Charlie going 'Daley's a nice person.' She's drunk and talking shit. Callum is such a little scrotum sticking up for Charlie in this situation. He's pathetic. Also at one point Charlie said she was drunk and had drunk a bottle and a half of wine, then she backtracked and said she wasn't. Get your story straight!
I'd love to see Charlie go this week, I can't fucking stand her, and I think Hazel stayed classy during that pathetic argument. Unfortunately, the brainless masses are still intent on getting Hazel out for... what was it again? Oh yeah, her getting attacked. Good stuff.

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