Thursday 6 October 2011

Big Brother 2011 - I'm going to kick the life out of every fucking banana

Bothered about Mark! He's done. Next. I seen him on BOTS and OKTV and he was acting like the imbecile he is. Fake, fake, fake. Fuck off. They should play 'I Know It's Over' over all this crying, it's jokes! His parting speech was bullshit, also.
WTF he didn't even pack his own bag? Who does he think he is, Jackie Stallone? He was there all yesterday evening.
Oh Maisy, like hell you don't think it matters about you now. The only thing you care about is you. Harry: voice of reason. COULD Harry win this? Even with the fox hunting under his belt?
Jay: a dream hero/ thug. How romantic.
Faye: 'I'm this sort of person/ I'm that sort of person.' No, you're NOT that sort of person. You'll find out what sort of person you are tomorrow... booooooo!
Why are the men always doing the shopping list (sexist)? 'You'll get what you're given': that's probably what Jay says just before you have sex with him.
Jay: 'I like a good roll about.' No kidding. Louise: 'If you're with someone you'll do anything'. Like what? What is she referring to? I would do anything for love, but I won't do that.
Ugh, Aden and Anton simultaneously glugging juice from the carton. Anton: 'I'm here to be the cleverest person who's ever played the game.' You're less clever than fucking Dale, who was a shaved chimp, or Bonnie, who couldn't even pronounce her own name.
What's with Harry and the bananas? Is he trying to get nominated?! He's going to get fucking lynched.
God, I hate Aden. He's just so pathetic in every way. Try hard dullard, baby, he doesn't know himself.
I actually feel nervous for Harry right now. I don't think he realises what people can be like. Especially about food. This is pure boarding school behaviour! Harry's gone all red in the face with excitement.
OMG imagine if he hadn't got the tobacco as well. There'd be a fucking murder. I've not seen so many bananas in the Big Brother house since Jedward trollydashed round Lidl.
Uh, oh Jay is unravelling. I can't STAND aggressive men. I can't stand men who throw things or hit things, because the next thing they throw or hit is YOU! Give him a warning!
Notice Anton instigating! He knows this is bad news for Harry and he's going to milk it for all it's worth. I could live on chocolate and bananas very easily. That would be a healthy improvement on my diet.
Jay is going to 'kick the life out of every fucking banana'. Are you going to tell him, or am I? Oh, he really fucked those bananas up good. Proper hard man, he is. I thought apes liked bananas?
Now Maisy is upset that they didn't get alcohol. They're going to get even more pissed if they have alcohol on empty stomachs.
Jay's getting seriously mad. Is he going to shit in the freezer again (which they never showed?) Fuck Jay, I'm really starting to hate him. Why haven't we seen him getting told off for being aggressive? Jokey non-racism is bad, but throwing things is OK?
LOL to the green butter and the blue milk. I think the food colouring was the final tyrannical touch. At least Harry can make them milkshakes. It's not even Frosties they got. It's Frosted Flakes! Own brand anger.
Jay is an aggressive cunt. I can't stand him now. I would personally be scared if someone was punching the shit out of an inanimate object in there, I don't find that acceptable at all, it's threatening. You can say 'oh he's getting his anger out' but I don't want to be anywhere near someone who can contain that much anger. No thanks. Honestly, just give him a club and a caveman outfit and be done with it.
Faye seems to think that's OK. It isn't. Louise thinks it's sexy. Yeah, it's so sexy until you end up with a broken nose or in the morgue as another statistic. Interesting she said he's making her nervous. Satiate his need! Geordie caveman cannot survive without food or fucking!
Jay's happy now he's got a beer in his hand, now. Aaron must not believe his eyes that Louise is so besotted with Jay. I'm totally perplexed by it, but my only conclusion has to be, she's thick as shit. Shame, as I like her.
Jay looks like he's wearing a dress. All that snogging and moaning under the covers is gross! This is Britain! Show some decorum. Nah, not really, go for it, why not? 'It felt natural so i'm going to do it.' says Louise. Faye: take notes.

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