Saturday, 7 January 2012

Celebrity Big Brother 2012: That's Al for you

Oh, they are still putting the names up on the screens! I take it back. We are still being patronised.
I've gone off Natasha Giggs already. She's quite blasé about everything. I liked MM digging her out. He was asking some very personal questions. 'My sister wouldn't do that'. Well, that's what we'd all like to think, isn't it?
Andrew: 'When I perform, I completely forgot I have a profile.' Yeah, right. This is a dude that probably masturbates into a mirror. I've decided he's quite good entertainment, though. He's so ludicrous you just have to go with it. Plus he's going to give me all my blog titles. Oh, he's from Kettering. I used to know a nutter from Kettering (I'm from Northampton). It figures. 'I was born in 1972...' Who talks like this about themselves? Only someone who's making up their age.
Michael Madsen's skin looks like old leather today. I can relate to Romeo feeling upset about wearing silk pyjamas. Silk sheets are gross, you slide all over the place. I bought silk sheets once thinking they'd be romantic and knocked my drink flying three nights in a row. Binned them after that.
I feel sorry for Frankie begging for an invite to the Playboy mansion. What a narrow, sad little world view he has and what a low opinion of women. I watched Jamie East's show and those twins seemed like absolute horrors. Yeah right, they never slept with Hugh Hefner. 'We always had to be smiling.' Yeah, through gritted teeth, right before they sucked the Twiglet of Doom.
What have those twins been arrested for?! Bet it was drunk driving, lol. Denise took so many class A's she thought she'd made an award winning film.
Those twins are wrong 'uns. Hit someone with a beer bottle? They're soulless! This IS like the Priory. LOL to Andrew's X factor story. They should have kept Romeo's suitcase longer.
Andrew Stone's delusions of grandeur are a joy to behold. He truly is a one-off. Argued with his girlfriend indeed! Was he reading her a fairy story at the time?
This task is quite smart as it's encouraging people continue to to dish the dirt on themselves after it finished. Cunning.
It is cowardly writing a letter to tell your husband that you're cheating. But I don't really want to pass judgement too much as that makes me the same as all the misogynists queuing up to lynch her.
The conversation: 'Were they really expensive, your boobs?' 'Ten grand.' makes me weep.
I've been informed the evil twins have bum implants. They should have had personality implants at the same time.
This geography thing makes me ashamed to be human. The fact that he doesn't know where America in is actually disturbing and embarrassing, and a matter for national humiliation. I can't stand this kid. American's are known for their geographical ignorance; we shouldn't be. What a dimlo. If there's one thing I can't stand it's people who are proud of being thick, and that's this Towie lot's currency. That Kirk is so fucking ugly. If he honestly believes that Georgia is going to get off with him, then his next career is teaching geography.
Natalie: the principle characteristic of being a gay guy is sleeping with men, so if he says he's not, then I guess we have to take his word for it, if it makes him happy. Maybe he's gay but he's never had a gay experience. Who knows?
MM's name dropping was legendary. He's so stand-offish and then he just needles secrets out of people or has a brag-fest. Nice.
What is with Nicola digging the dirt on Natasha? I thought she was appalled by the morality, seems like she wants to know every single detail like some sort of pervert.
Kirk: 'are your eyelashes fake, are your boobs fake?' What a way to chat someone up! My boyfriend says whenever he sees someone called Kirk he thinks of Kirk from Corrie. So just think of Kirk from Corrie every time you set eyes on Towie Kirk. Except Kirk from Corrie is more handsome. He's making SUCH a dick of himself. Does he HONESTLY believe she'd get off with him? When he looks in the mirror, what does he see? Because I see a pasty-faced little Crazy Frog lookalike. Bit duff tonight. More booze for the housemates, please.

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