Thursday, 1 August 2013

Big Brother 2013: How do you like your embryo in the morning?

'This is Big Brother, training time has began.' I think you mean 'begun'.
I can't watch people eating raw eggs. That's not for me. I've just been out and I'm not feeling right anyway. This isn't helping.
Someone posted Callum's bio on DS today and it was like 'I'm confident, I like belittling people.' Ha! Who is Callum to go in the DR and say Dexter can't talk about 'his whirlwind life in London'? It's not Dexter's fault he's got more money than you. Why does someone having a good life (or talking up having a good life) make you feel bad? Envy is an ugly quality. In fact, it's quite pathetic. Is Callum envious of Gina's money?
Dexter and Hazel: 'We're made of different stuff.' You can insert whatever punchline you like here. Dexter is finding the banter not so mint in the house.
Sam to Callum: 'You might get a lot of respect for sticking up for yourself.' And maybe not.
I just fast forwarded through the twins' battle which was good as I'm a bit behind so it saved me a few minutes. Twins in Lycra? No, ta.
I don't get this Jackador and Jaded Joker thing. Why didn't they call them Jack Smack and Joe Blow? Actually, that makes them sound more exciting than they are.
I hate all this smutty talk the guys all do, especially Sam, it's really childish and borderline offensive.
Don't worry, Sophie, I don't think you're sweet. Nice attempt to give you a storyline, but the fact is you're not loud and confident, you're dull.
I like Sophie's fuchsia blusher. Sam suits the porn star 'tache. He looks about 15 years older. Sam: 'I've seen an eclipse brighter than that woman.' Sophie: 'what?' Point proved.
Whack a mole. Sophie: 'You beat a girl.' Self sexism!
I don't like the iPad for the shopping list as they can't add it up wrong. Harry could never order 500 bananas again! Boo to that.
Is Sophie welded into that dressing down? There's always one each year who can't be bothered to get dressed each day and just sits around smoking in terry towelling.
Charlie: 'I need to be put in my place.' Callum: earwigging. This conversation is disturbing.
Hazel wants half the money! She deserves it more than Conor did. I hate it when they give away some of the prize money, but they always do it. Charlie wouldn't take half the money if it was offered. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Test her! Argh, she wants acceptance. I'm surprised she didn't mention her journey.
Is Gina cooking? Whatever next! Washing up after? Why is Gina trying to poison her housemates? Ah, an easy way to win, I suppose.
Callum: 'I don't want to go before Dexter.' Good luck with that. Dexter ISN'T a villain. Stop comparing yourself to him, you desperado. People aren't keeping Dexter in because they hate him, but because they like him!
Dexter fans: evict Callum for his own sanity. And the twins for mine.

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