Big Brother 2013: Lord have mercy

Is this shit over yet?
Mean of them to show Sophie puking in the loo, even if it was just for a second.
Oh God, Dexter, please get off the Charlie thing, this is what fucked your chances last time. Doesn't he get that? I thought he was a master strategist.
If Hazel is a hobbit, what does that make Gina? Gollum? No, she's more ET when he dresses up like the old lady.
Oh ok, for this task Marcus is telling them what to do. That's cool. Dexter: 'we need the eggs!' That's not in the spirit of the food fight. Cue an egg whistling past his ear. Ooh, someone's got hurt. It's only one of the twins, though. I love the fact the others just carry on. Ha, Gina's gone mad cos someone's put flour in her hair. She's gonna have to shave her her head at this rate.
Ha, Gina has to clean up the kitchen by herself. Serves her right. It's good for her soul to clean up. Remember when she washed up that cup and the nation was proud?
Sam and Jack's romantic stroll - lol. I think both of them are glad of the attention to be honest.
Jack doesn't know what intimate means. 'I don't have many deep thoughts.' That must be what makes you such a stellar housemate. Jack is pulling out the gay card. Don't think it trumps the deaf card, though. And neither top Dexter's JOURNEY card. That's the toppest of the trumps.
Sam: 'Do you find wasps sexual? If you could have sex with a bee or a wasp, which would you have sex with?' What goes on in this boys head?
Who the fuck is Sophie to say Hazel won't stay friend with them 'because she's a model'? Even if you did THINK that, you wouldn't say it, because it's hurtful. I think I preferred her when she was mute.
LOL that's so good making Jack and Joe tell Gina what they thought of her reaction to Gina's eviction. Zing!
Charlie to Dexter: 'You're one of my best mates.' That must make him feel really special. So they're going to force Charlie and Dexter to get off with each other? Really?
Twin worried he's not funny anymore. You were never funny.
What is Levi Roots plugging? Sauce, probably. Why am I having to watch the housemates cook? Isn't there enough cooking on TV? Lord have mercy, indeed.
Levi Roots: lovely man, doesn't really say anything. Mind you, it's better than when they sent Mohammed Al Fayed in.
If you really didn't want to kiss someone, you just wouldn't kiss them, Charlie. If Big Brother told you to jump of a cliff, would you? Actually, she probably would.
Sam is losing the plot, I think. 'I will rule the world... you could burst a balloon with that nipple.'
Why is Charlie asking about Dexter being bi? Look at Dexter twitching when she asked if he was gay. This is pure gaming on his part here. He's trying to think of what's best for his JOURNEY. Do you think Sophie and Gina are listening to this conversation? I would be.
Dexter, what is Charlie meant to do, if she doesn't fancy you, she doesn't fancy you? God, they're both talking in circles, it's unbearable.
Is Levi Roots really having a Chinese takeaway? Really?
Jack/Joe loves his job. He works in a supermarket! Aim higher, as Jeremy Kyle says.
Oh, Dexter, save it. It's the last week, stop scheming and just relax.
Face to face noms tomorrow! I hope Charlie and Gina are up. I've given up on the twins ever going and Sam and Sophie are virtually available to buy on Very they're such fixtures. So let's have one last big shock before the show ends.