Friday, 23 August 2013

Celebrity Big Brother 2013: What is Newcastle, is it a club?

Well some of my friends seem more enthusiastic about this lot than I do ie. they've heard of some of these people. 
I hope they edit this well, especially the cult bit, as it was a complete car crash last night. Is it right to trivialise the serious matter of cults? Oh, who cares. 
That was convenient that someone mentioned The Green Mile that Courtney's husband was in.
Lauren is so weird. I can't bear her. She must be on some meds. Why is she doing roll eyes at everything everyone is saying? Wouldn't you be excited to be in the BB house at last? 
It's so obvious that Courtney is going to go up! They should have put HER in the safe house. What's the point in paying big bucks (presumably) for yanks, then putting them at risk? I've heard it's vote to save again now, so that should help.
Ooh Janice is tearing a strip off Charlotte. She downed a glass of champagne and then poured herself another one. What an arsehole. Don't fuck with Janice! Is she going to do a Vinnie Jones aka take control the kitchen?
My friend agreed that Carol looked coked up. OMG Louis Spence is being transphobic! And so it begins.
Charlotte is just pure crass. I think being obnoxiously crass is more offensive than pretending to be thick.
Who's the most famous? Courtney: 'the Americans!' 
Wow, Charlotte is SO rude. RUDE. ARROGANT. DISRESPECTFUL and so on.
Janice was smoking in that bed in the live feed! Keeping it proper Corrie style.
Can someone poke Lauren with a stick? I'm not sure she's got a pulse at this point. 
What does 'she's so porn' mean? Courtney: 'Where's the pool?'
I like the way that Charlotte idiot has latched on to Ron. 'Just tell us if I ever annoy you.' OK. How about now?
I love the 'aren't we all getting on great' talk after an hour. Funny, that.
I don't mind Sophie, even though she's an arsehole, at least she says what she thinks. I think Louis needs to watch his mouth or he could get kicked out.
Courtney's voice is SO annoying the way it goes up at the end. I'm trying to work out who's more annoying out of her and Charlotte. I think I'd less like to be stuck in a lift with Charlotte. 
Ron is being a gent about the beds. Courtney is waiting for someone to designate her a bed. Ha, she picked a double. Bad move.
Is Lauren crying? Lucky she's not been paid per word. 
Don't put the bunny in the mangle! He's going to come out like roadkill. Oh, dear.
The dolphins called, they want Courtney back. There's two Screeches in that house.
Oh, the rape suite has been turned into a bathroom, but we remember! We remember.
Louis is cruel laughing at Lauren saying her body is perfect. At least it's good she feels that way, even if no one else does. 
LOL to Charlotte saying she thinks Janice is a stupid cow (behind her back, of course).
I've never heard about this 'international media storm' around Courtney, so I highly doubt if Ron has. He looks like he's falling asleep.
So here's who the housemates are going to put up. Well, one of them. OK, there put up three possibilities (my boyfriend doesn't understand this part). Louis wants to put Ron up! Good move. Sophie put Courtney up as a potential. Why has Lauren got it in for Carol? Has she had a run in with her in the past? She described Carol as miserable and not very forthright! WTF. Lauren and Louis are trying to take out the big fish. 
I like that woman's pug onesie. Well, I like the print, I hate onesies.
Where has Abz's hair gone? Abz doesn't like Mario. DID Mario blank him? It would have been good to have a flashback on that. 
I don't like this 'boys will be boys' talk, it's grim. Cheated 'seven times'? Lovely.
Abz is one of these 'spiritual' idiots, isn't he? What's he been smoking?
Talking of smoking, I'm not sure you should smoke in those robes, they look highly flammable. Why is Sophie being so prudish about Courtney? Charlotte is not 'intriguing'. She's gross.
OMG! Did Carol REALLY just comment on someone's age gap?! What a MASSIVE hypocrite! 'I'm not judging her, but...' Fuck me, Carol is rough. What has it got to do with you, what other people do? Mind your own business!
Mario is eyeing up Carol's legs! Hilarious. I can just imagine Carol's boyfriend throwing his shoes at the TV. Carol seems quite keen on Mario, too. Danielle: 'that's not relevant to us.' I think Carol will make her own mind up. 
Lauren's entrance was amazing! The way she staggered out of that cupboard was ace. Carol quizzing Lauren immediately! Sophie's in. 'Hi, nice to meet you x 10.'
Louis' entrance is understated as ever. Cool, they put Ron up! That's what's best for the show, as far as I'm concerned. A Judas kiss from Louis! LOL to him going 'great tits' to Courtney. 
I just realised I might be spelling Louis wrong. Is it Louie? Oh, fuck. Never mind. This is what happens when you have a Twitter amnesty. You don't know basic spelling.
This story about the public voting doesn't stack up! They wouldn't put Ron up anyway, not with all the football idiots in this country. Plus people don't just arrive and then there's a vote, that's not how it works. Very fishy! 
I want one of those chocolates. Good night.

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