Wednesday, 13 June 2012

Big Brother 13: Just say LOL

Shev is getting on my nerves a bit now, she's coming off a bit contrived. Saying you hate clowns is like saying you hate hospitals, or like breathing. We've all seen IT. Not exactly a revelation. Did she just get groped by a cuddly toy. Gross. She's playing up to the cameras today.
So the shopping task is no laughing or smirking. I think Adam smirked already. It's a bit cruel not being allowed to laugh because it means you basically can't be happy. I know this because I got told off for my laugh at work once.
Chris is getting clown rage. Lydia doesn't look too happy, either.
Luke S has got can't-laugh-tourettes. I do like Luke. I just don't like the company he keeps.
Good idea to talk about Schindler's List to stop the giggles. It IS a bit of a buzz kill (so i've heard, I can't watch things like that, I cry at pictures of LOL cats).
Arron's toilet roll outfit makes a change from looking at his weedy body. Chris is like a bear with a sore head, a sagging, flabby chest and an inferiority complex. 
Here's a good antidote to laughing; having an argument. Becky: 'I've smelt the coffee.' Gross, isn't it? The smell of coffee is one of the most disgusting smells on the planet. I can't go within 500 meters of a Starbucks.
Anyone would look 'this big' next to Chris. Even Becky. Becky just laughed at him, whoops. Basically Big Brother just makes up whether they've failed or passed at the end. Unless they tell you at the beginning how many fails they're allowed and unless it's about a thousand, they've failed. What a farce. Where's Deal or No Deal's independent adjudicator when you need her?
Becky: 'he's incredugly.' Leave the laboured puns to me! Scott's perving over Arron is another good reason to get rid of Arron. And get rid of Scott next week.
Are they REALLY digging out the electric shock costumes again? Fucking hell, man, they've been recycled more than Sugababes members' heads. Adam and Luke S really can't do it, can they?! They keep having to cover their mouths or bite their fists. Chris. Put a top on, please.
Arron loves the attention of wearing the PVC pants. He's actually being quite a good sport. The problem with this show tonight is that because they can't laugh, I feel we can't laugh. It's a downer.
Why is Arron starting a row when he's wearing that outfit? Why is he telling people what to drink? If anyone needs to be told not to drink it's Sara #godsavethequeen.
I could easily not laugh at comedy. More contact with the outside world. Sigh. I recognise this comedian. I think he might have tried to have sex with my friend, but that might be someone else. It's one of that sort.
I laughed uproariously at 'you're not a well, you're a person.' That's my level. What accent is that? Is this racist or not? This is the strangest stand up ever.
Should be quite easy not to laugh at Keith and Orville. Clapping instead of laughing is really weird; like a Gattaca-esque future. It's like us after the proper microchipping. Moon control!
Arron is going to get thrush from those panties. I can't hear the words 'the joke's on me' without thinking of Stephen Baldwin. Now, HE was a housemate.
Lydia: 'if ASL was here now, he's just be chatting with us normally.' Well, I should think so, he is your boyfriend! What's he going to do, sit there throwing £50 notes around and doing a falsetto?
Does Schindler's List have a 'theme tune'? I have no idea why Arron picked on Deana either.
Why didn't they show Like and Ashleigh's kiss? They've showed people in the toilets before. Maybe one of them was weeing at the same time. That's the ultimate way not to get your BB sex romp showed on TV: do it in the toilet and involve scat.
Adam has got Becky SUSSED. This is going to get back to Becky. Ah, she just walked in at the end.
Why has Luke permanently got his gob open? He's catching flies. I think he could have a situation on his hands with Ashleigh if he's not careful.
Lauren doesn't listen, and Shev isn't real. Deana has shown her teeth a couple of times, but I still find her quite drippy.
Not a sterling show tonight. I'll be a little late blogging tomorrow as I've got to go to dreaded central London to get handed £50 in a sealed envelope. No I'm not a drug dealer, I'm doing a focus group. See you around midnight...

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