Monday, 18 June 2012

Big Brother 13: Ejacul-gate

Oh Christ, are we going to have to talk about ejaculation all day again? This music they're playing over Benedict's DR speech is funny. I think Benedict could be crossing the line from intriguing to creepy. Peeing on yourself doesn't keep you warm! That's like Bear Grylls levels of survival tactic rationale.
Arron has really got a stick up his arse about Deana, hasn't he? Why does she annoy him so much? I think it's because she's inscrutable and he doesn't even know what inscrutable means.
If it's not love... then it's the bomb that will bring us together. Or not. Are they just doing this task so they can play that naff Kylie song (probably her worst in two decades)?
LOL to Caroline saying she wanted the timebomb and then finding out she had to eat a fish eye. Couldn't have happened to a nicer person. Just think of it as caviar, you horsey cunt. Boo hoo.'I don't think it was a real fish eye.' Well, what the hell was it? A really rotten gobstopper?
It's quite telling that Arron and Caroline ate Deana's chocolates as they're the biggest dickheads in the house. Who else would take something that belongs to someone else? Looks like Arron is actually bullying Deana now. Are you glad you saved this little twonk over Chris? Are you???Arron is a terrible liar. Lydia; 'two can play that game.' Quite.
I'm really worried that the idiot-contingent in the house is going to get the upper hand this week, especially with Benedict not being able to nominate. Did Benedict call Ashleigh a 'spoilt brat' or a 'spoilt rat'? Never mind.
It's big of Queen Lydia to want to give Arron a chance, isn't it? She's right though, Arron's gotsta go.
How's Adam going to go to the loo with those massive hands? I hope they make Sara use that toothbrush afterwards. Luke: not in the least bit sexy to me. Just dull, dull, dull. I don't even dislike him! How dull can you get?
Benedict wants a 'quiet word with Caroline later'. Always ominous. Oh, grow up, Caroline, you stitched up little idiot. Someone is trying to talk to you like an adult and you're tittering like a 6-year-old who's just seen 'boobies' written upside down in a calculator for the first time. I hate her SOOOOOOO much. Please let her be up this week. Please. Please!
We ARE conditioned to be prudes, and it's something that should be challenged. Put her on a course of 200 Dan Savage podcasts and she'll be sorted. It's almost like Becky and Lydia are PROUD to be repressed. What are you shocked about Lydia? Lydia is trying so hard to be non-sexual and non-threatening and it is so FAKE. If you do nominate Benedict, you'll be more vulnerable than ever, so use your head, Lydia, because the giggling little ninnies are NOT on your side, and nor are the general public, and nor will I be if you don't watch it.
Scott's moment of revelation: 'I look like a sordid creep.' Well, I didn't like to say...
Benedict; listen! Deana says she's offended, so she's offended, you don't get to decide that. Even so, Lydia and Deana are wrong. No one is asking you to be 'part of his message.' You can't control what comes out of his mouth; or out of the end of his dick, actually.
I'll take you to the candy shop! I'll let you lick my lollipop. I don't think I could eat that many sweets without being sick. Like maybe three bags or so but no more.
Benedict strikes back! His drawing attention to the other side of the house was quite good. It's like the nomination timebomb and he is passing it on. I can't really call the nominations because there are so many twats in that house. It could be three or four up this week if people vote smart.
Caroline: 'you mean well.' You patronising, spoilt little madam. I'd really like to punch her in the face, and I don't advocate violence (ha).
They're all running amok in the bedroom! Do you think Lydia talks to ASL like that? Course she does! Arron, way to get nominated, you little div. Sweet dreams!

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