Big Brother 11: Hickory Dickory Cock

Nominations announced. Shabby, dear, it's not all about you. If you can't be bothered to save yourself; there's the door.
Ooh, who will be saved? Who will go on the block instead? There's only one way to find out.
CHEESE task. Is the prize a date with Alex James? Or a sculpture of Alex James, made of cheese. Either would be fab. Bored of this task now. Let's have some action.
Dave is off the block. Great, some more homophobic banter to come. Ooh, he has to pick the person to go up. How to make friends and influence people. GOVAN GOVAN GOVAN! Do it, you fucking coward.
Ooh, he picked Rachael! Harsh. What a wasted opportunity. He should have picked Govan. He'd have been a hero. I don't think he dared. Women hate. Vagina hate. You could have said no if you wanted to. You could have walked away... couldn't you. He should have put Steve up. As they say on BB USA; you got a target on your back now.
I know why Shabby's carping about the noms, because she knows she will go over Fiancee. I want the bitch clique to get picked off one by one. Their late night baths are boring. More Ben and Mario, please.
Govan, you survived that by the skin of your teeth! You could at least be gracious, you little troll.
Urgh, Shabby is such a prat. Ben does have a knack for insulting people but they definitely deserve it. Shabby's having a tantrum! That's decided. I'm going to vote her out. I'm done with her bullshit.
OMG did Dave just claim he cured someone's cancer? Crikey.
Ben, stop apologising to that dickhead. 'I'm often accused of being a ham'. Hehe.
Dave's punishment wasn't exactly major, was it? Favouritism. He read that speech in a very sombre tone.
I noticed Fiancee pulls the exact same confused face as John James. that must be why he likes/hates her so much. I think the problem with her is that in real life people are obviously crawling up her arse 24/7, yet in that house no one respects her. (Ah, she just admitted what I just said two seconds later!) I don't like her little girl act either; I find it very cloying.
John James's attitude STINKS. The way he acts and the games he plays is the kind of stuff you think when you're 15. He's not exactly the Pick Up Artist. He goes on and on and on and on. He talks so much about how he knows himself; he doesn't know shit.
Corin acts like her sun-damaged skin is a shock to her. She must have sat on those sunbeds.
OMG what is up John James's arse. He has got ISHHUUUES. Someone must have given him a dirty look at a sensitive time in his life and it's left a mental scar. It's not that he doesn't like you, Rachael, it's just that he fucking hates you/ wants to fuck you.
Some people just naturally look snooty half the time. I've known loads of people with that habit. FACE POLICE. Don't tell him you fancy him. He's an idiot. Her apologising to him made me cringe. He's rude, aggressive, ignorant.
Oh, and you've got a wedgie.