Tuesday, 6 January 2009

Celebrity Big Brother 2009: 1st Live Show

Oh fucking hell. Tina. Shut up. Stop going on about how 'fookin' good you are in bed, or how you're 'fookin' this or that. I don't want to KNOW. Here's what you are; an obnoxious, loud, arrogant, unpleasant foghorn of a person. You're the kind of person who goes 'no, that's not the kind of person I am' when the evidence of your petty existence is laid out in front of you as if it were a mirror. Do people actually LIKE her? Who? Why? Also, I'm of the entirely medical opinion that if you're going to smoke, you damn well better eat healthy, and if you eat crap all the time (like me) you'd better not smoke. Otherwise you're just a heart attack in waiting. But far be it from me to stop you, love. Wanna light?
Did you get the feeling Terry had to do 3 nominations because Big Brother didn't like his first two? Because I did! The integrity thing was a bit mean; I felt a bit sorry for Terry. I wish he'd put Coolio up.
Big brother translation corner: 'he is a big character' equals 'he's an arsehole.' Against all my previous convictions I'm actually liking Michelle Heaton. I used to absolutely despise her when she wrote that fucking awful column in OK, it used to make my blood boil. But I guess it wasn't her fault she just took the cash. I just don't have the energy to feel angry with her at the moment.
Verne talked very eloquently about Heath Ledger, it was quite moving. La Toya's tale seemed more like a tale, even though I know a lot of it is true. Are you glad you asked, A3 dude?
I liked the fact that the task where they pretended to be each other just enabled them to rip the shit out of each other and be dead sexist. I was wondering if the Coolio orangutan comment was racist, but my boyfriend assured me as a midget Verne gets 2 racist remarks per episode free, so that's OK.
Coolio's deplorable 'you wouldn't knock that off?' comment to Ben about Michelle illustrated exactly what kind of man he is. I think Ben had been hero-worshipping Coolio up until then and it went a bit skewiff at that point. Michelle protested TOO much though; if there's nothing to go on, I'd just tell him where to stick it and leave it at that.
Terry's task backfired somewhat as all the people he chose said lovely things about him! Oops. He chose wisely I think. I think Ben will understand.


* (asterisk) said...

I want to fuck Tina. Everyone does, don't you know? Cos she looks like she's filthy.

Sorry; talking horseshit. Just like Tina does 24/7.

Anonymous said...

I like Derek from A5 the best, he rocks. I hope he don't go but if he does the only thing that might fill the void is Abs from 5ive or Lee from 911. Tina is the biggest cunt I have seen on TV this year, and I've seen a few so I know what I'm talking about.