Saturday, 16 June 2007

Big Brother 8: Diary Room Uncut

Bring back the Saturday highlights, you fuckers! I'm SOOOOOO bored!!! My boyfriend has gone to see MUSE at WEMBLEY and I've been stuck here watching loads of rubbish telly.
Anyway, I have an important update for you. I now LIKE Seany. His John Macanroe headband. His hyper-colour T-shirts and Bermuda shorts. His diary room requests are genuinely imaginative and funny. Ziggy just made one of his stupid speeches in the Diary Room and Seany said 'Bored is what you are after listening to Ziggy.' That should definitely have made the highlights. Seany doing up Carole's bra strap, however, shouldn't. He certainly did appear to be gay by the hash he was making of it.
I'm really starting to hate Carole. I never liked her in the first place but I now fucking hate her downtrodden, miserable face, squashed into swimming costumes. She's self-pitying. Just fuck off back home. You're not a rebel. You're a housewife. Congratulations.
Tracey. 'It's all Bisto.' Why are you saying these stupid things? it's just annoying. You're nearly forty. Stop talking like a teenager. I demand it. I do like you, but you try my patience. Must try harder.
Still loving the twins, everything rolls off them. They are really funny. It's nice to see things through simple eyes at times. Similarly with Gerry, he doesn't have a side to him. If you were in there, you could go get a cuddle off him.
I do like Ziggles, but he doesn't half like to moan about 'being the only straight man in there'. Why do I feel, now there are four others, he'll find something else to complain about? He really seems to see men (and gay men) and women as different species. He also says 'very much so' too much.
Listening to Charley in the Diary Room is like when you're stuck on a bus and a thick teenage girl speaks loudly on her mobile to a friend, oblivious to the world around her. Then her phonecall ends and you and all the other unlucky bastards on the peasant-wagon breathe a sigh of relief. Then it goes off again, and she repeats the same stream of rapid-fire nonsense. Frankly, she needs booting off the bus. How Laura and Tracey can sit there saying nothing in the face of that abusive bullshit is beyond a joke. Get a spine and tell her to shut the fuck up. It might shock her into silence.
Chanelle. There is something creepy about adults with teddies. Lose it.
Finally Seany calling the Diary Room chair 'an evil throne'. I love it! Could... Seany... win??? Maybe I'll put a couple of quid on him, his odds are 23-1!

No comments: