Big Brother UK 2016: What do Draculas eat?

Fuck you!

So 'annihilation week' was a resounding failure, with three of the house characters evicted, while more deadwood floats around the house than the aftermath of this week's latest shot-down aeroplane. Ouch, it was painful to see Ryan go last night (nearly as painful as that analogy I just did). I feel partly responsible as I didn't vote. Note Ryan was the only one who got cheers, ie. a reaction, ie. was providing entertainment, so he HAD to go. STUPID to let the housemates choose, it was our golden opportunity to get rid of Sam. SO MUCH HATE for these housemates. The only genuine relationship in the house is over. I will miss Rughie's romps under the covers.
Also, I don't like the way Emma treated Ryan in his interview. Haha what he said about taking 'ten vallies' in his interview. 100% drug addict. He was good TV, get off his back. He did nothing wrong. She treated Daley better, and I know this, cos I read my blog about it on my Timehop this week. Shame about what he said about 'birds not being funny' in his interview but her going 'you need to think before you speak' was worse. WE DON'T WANT HOUSEMATES WHO THINK BEFORE THEY SPEAK. We want 12 Marcos, dumbass.
I did think it was going to be a double eviction, but I thought it was going to be called 'The Massacre.' Actually, it still was on Virgin. The only thing Big Brother massacres is it's own viewing figures, week on week.
OMG Sam's hairy chest is so gross. I'm a fan of a nice hairy chest, but his is NOT. He's like a walking pube.
Alex teaching Jayne slang. Ugh. Alex, you're too old for slang. Also, it seemed to be 80s slang he was teaching her. 'Phat?' I think that was uncool in the 90s.
Ryan is having one final retch before he leaves. Ryan: 'You smell of garlic clovers! What do Draculas eat? Is it garlic?' Hughie: 'I think it's blood.' Ryan: 'Go get some deodorant and spray it in your mouth.' I'll miss these moments.
I actually like Jackon's haircut, god forgive me. Jayne: 'It looks different.' That's what my mum said to me when I had my haircut, and also that I look like a lesbian and a gay man. Thanks mum!
What are these derogatory comments Ryan has been making? Oh, a flashback! Ryan: 'Get pummelled... Cannon (Alex) is going to fuck you up the arse' to Evelyn. Jason is on his soap box about it. Has he never fucked anyone up the arse? Only Lateysha this week, I guess.
Tattoo talk... Hughie has a tattoo of someone called Emily which Ryan is obviously jealous about.
Jackson's tartan trousers are shooting up the eek list. He's been institutionalised by Big Brother. I'm surprised he knows what 'institutionalised' means.
Aw Ryan and Hughie talking about leaving together, how romantic. That would have been cute.
Laura looks cute today, I like her knitted grey two piece.
I liked Ryan's Brandon Flowers/ Patrick Wolf-esque bin bag eviction outfit. 'Take out the trash' would have been my blog title had I done one yesterday. But I didn't.
Jason is wearing patent shoes with no socks. His feet must STINK. Jason says next week is the final week. Is it?
So they're doing the eviction quite early so there must be fall out. Emma is in the garden. They are recycling the podiums.
I still don't get how Evelyn and Alex got more votes than Ryan. Makes no sense. Laura's outfit is TERRIBLE (with the stripes). She has Jade Goody eviction dress-itis.
I hate Laura being booed. On the live feed she said she had 'rhino skin' and I loved it. Sam getting booed, yay. He's lucky there was any noise at all.
It was a close vote, wasn't it. Jason, Alex and Jackson (ie. the bros) and voted to evict Laura (why has Alex never had a one to one chat with Laura? They've been in there nearly two months). Have you noticed how Sam and Ryan seem very friendly these days? So much for all that manufactured fake rivalry crap.
Hughie muttering: 'This is fucking brutal.' Aw. Interesting Hughie didn't vote off Sam either.
Evelyn, Jason and Andy voted to evict Ryan. Ryan: 'I'm going home!' Aw. Jayne was the deciding vote.
Ryan was hoisted on his own petard by going in the rich garden! Aw, he didn't even get his 5K.
Hughie to Ryan: 'You're the best housemate that's ever been on this show. You're amazing, do you understand that? That was gameplaying if there ever was one. You're absolutely incredible.' Some people die without ever hearing words like that. Honestly, it brought a tear to my eye, the strength of their feelings for each other. And no, it may not last. But in there, it was 100% genuine and no one can take that from them.
Hughie to Jason: 'You're disgraceful!' YESSSS! I love Hughie. I liked Ryan's 'Jason, you're a dickhead, mate' goodbye.
Jason is trying to explain himself to Hughie.
So Jason is annoyed he can't talk about bumming women because of his height? OK then. It's just a joke. Don't tell women what is derogatory for them. Good of Hughie to shake his hand. 'I don't agree with your principles and how you go about tings!'
Jackson is saying Laura doesn't deserve her boos. Laura is confronting Hughie over his choice. He's not going to kick Ryan out, is he? Oh, she's annoyed cos he saved Sam. I love Laura's hair colour, it's gorgeous.
Sam: 'Was I booed a lot?' I heard all the cheers/boos ratio chat on the live feed last night. Sam doesn't remember being booed as 'it was all a blur.' HE'S ABSOLUTELY FINE. Don't shoot the messenger, Sam. You did get booed to fuck.
It's like they expect Laura to get booed but not Sam so Laura should just suck it up. Sexist. Sam is so entitled. Just because people like you in the house... it don't mean shit. At least Sam and Laura made up quickly.
Andy and Jason will never speak again once they leave the house.
Hughie in the DR: awww. 'I'm so proud of him and I love him with every part of me.' on Jason: 'He's dug his own grave right now. He's a two-faced prick, a massive gameplayer, a complete and utter fake and fraud, a bullshitter, and number one, grade A, 24-carat, 100% liar and fucking twat.' YES! I love how this shit just trips off Hughie's tongue.
Risky pranks coming up! What's that going to be? Razor blades on the toilet seat? Bleach in the Weetabix? There's no Captain Camo in there house so there can't be any women getting assaulted (BBUS reference there).
I LOVE Laura saying 'fuck you' to the idiot general public in the diary room. Really, what does she have left to lose? 'You are SO MEAN.' Haha. Not nice when people are mean.
Laura: 'Seriously, fuck the people who are booing. I think they're horrible.' They are. And ugly as sin, too.
Laura to Alex: 'I wonder why it is we haven't bonded?' I love her saying that, just bringing it right to him. He said, 'I can't articulate it.' So what's new, thicko pants? He probably thinks she's a slag from her fun times with Marco in the sex chamber and cos he's too uptight to even snog someone.
OK, so Evelyn is putting herself into a suitcase as a present for Alex. I'm a fan of confined spaces in the right context, but you have to consider it in the light of that spy who was found in the bath in a gym bag.
Alex wants to take advantage of Evelyn straight away. He probably prefers her in the case where she can't actually touch him. Hughie: 'You can't do this! You'll smother her.' Aw.
Ah then Alex picked her up and cuddled her! I saw that last night on the live feed but didn't see the suitcase bit as they were obviously running it past their lawyers.
Alex is carrying Evelyn around showing off her fanny. Alex to Jayne: 'Is this one worth keeping?' Stop talking about women as if they're FISH you're considering throwing back,  FFS.
Laura 'wants to hate Jackson, but really doesn't.' That's exactly how I feel about Jackson, tbh. He's such a dick, yet still there's something I like about him, and it's not just the cheekbones.
I love it when Jackson had his hand on Laura's neck in the traditional 'psycho boyfriend got you in a headlock' pose, and then Laura turned it round him him and grabbed HIM round the neck. She's definitely a top.
Jason is 'questioning his values.' He knew 'he was a bad person four or five years ago.' What was he up to then? He was also a bad person to Charlie, and that was only X number of months ago (it changes depending on the edit.) Jason says, 'I'm not as thick-skinned as I may appear.' No, but you are as thick. And your time is coming! Hopefully in the dreaded two-person Janice-Battersby-and-Mario-Falcone eviction with Sam on finale night. You deserve no LESS!