Big Brother UK 2016: Exit music (for a reality show)

Oh hello. I've come crawling back to my own blog. I'm watching yesterday's at the mo, so you may get some bonus notes. I love the Big Brother Corp task. Putting Chelsea in charge is the best, except he can't pronounce the word dethiscion. Hahaha! Actually, that makes it even better. Chelsea would make an AMAZING call centre manager.
Georgina: 'Being unhappy is just my natural face.' Ha. Ripped trousers gate. Who has rips in their jeans these days? Except BBUS/Canada housemates. Georgina: 'I've wasted a month in the Big Brother house.' Charming. The BOTS audience members who didn't get cast this year will be apoplectic.
Charlie is upset about some night Jason had out months ago where he drank two and a half litres of something. Isn't he a little old for the Sugar Hut? And what about when she kicked his dog, lol. Jason is such a gameplanner. Charlie deffo kicked the dog. If I'd done a blog last night, my title would have been 'Battersea dogs moan'.
What's with Alex's socks and sandals? Thought he was meant to be sexy. Barf.
When Sam starts on Hughie with his old craggy face. He doesn't know who he's dealing with. Fan favourite! Hughie shouting is THE BEST. Hughie is loopy. He will not go to the DR quietly. I like Hughie's post meltdown cool offs in the DR.
Hughie calling Ryan and Hughie bum buddies. Self hating homophobe. He started that row and then ended up crying. Ha, and indeed, ha.
Charlie 'could say things about Jason that would do him no favours.' Obviously a massive cokehead then.
I'm onto the main show now. Charlie is upset about being called a dog kicker. Rather a dog kicker than a dog, right? Oh. Their airtime must end. I so don't care. BORING.
Hughie and Alex are apologising but did they even row? Wasn't it him and Sam? Alex: 'You can't just blow up at people like that.' No much better to be a boring lump like him. NOT.
Self proclaimed avocado gate. Evelyn: 'I've never heard the word avocado so much'. Me either. Except at work.
Sam has still got a cob on. Probably cos he looks about 50.
Ooh I like that lamp that's like a monkey holding a lightbulb. Cute. Sam hating Ryan is so boring. At least Ryan is fun and vomits in his hands. What does Sam do? Bitch and moan and sit with his mouth agape. And we've got Georgina for that.
Charlie: 'I really don't want to be seen as a dog beater.' TOO LATE. Hughie has the measure of the situation. Charlie was jealous of the dog. Simple.
Haha Andy bringing up 'daughter' gate. Jason should be proud of his daughter, like Devin. Andy: 'I don't want to create arguments.' HAHAHAHA. What a fucking shit stirrer. Andy: 'I think you have a right to know.' I actually LOVE Andy as a housemate. He is soooooooo sanctimonious.
Jayne has had no airtime. She's never going to go tonight.
Andy: 'The one thing I didn't want to do was hear things and then go and say them to other people.' That is the ONLY THING you do in the house! Do you think he even likes Jason? I don't.
Jackson: 'There's only a certain amount a man can take to make his missus happy.' Hahahaha.
Andy: 'Charlie's just called me a prick.' You are one. Jason: 'You could call you a telltale.' You could do that.
Andy: 'I have a false reputation as a shit stirrer.' What's false about it? You're up to your neck in it!
The housemates are mixing... their drinks again. Cue the vom hands. Please!
Andy: 'Believe you me, I took no pleasure in telling Jason that.' You fucking liar. Shit I'm worried Andy is gonna go cos he's getting so much airtime. 'There's intrigue, gossip and rumour.' I love to hate Andy. SSSSSSNAKE! He's gonna come unstuck soon on a vote to evict though.
OMg Andy is safe. I'm shocked. Jayne is also safe. WHY! So either Evelyn or Georgina is going. It's gonna be Georgina. Hundred percent. Quite clever the way the did the vote cos it made me vote again. SUCKER. I always vote wrong.
Jackson is drunk and gone gangster. Georgina is calling Jackson 'Bob Marley.' Racist. Quarter Jamaican! Ha. He wants to 'go have fun with Evelyn.' Haha. Oops. 'Things not to say to Georgina' 101.
Alex doesn't want to get too deep, which is lucky, cos he's shallower than my contact lens case.
MY MISSUS. Georgina and Jackson are quite tragic. And not in a Romeo and Juliet way. I do find it entertaining, though. Georgina: 'work harder.' Jackson will give her 'all of him, but he wants all of you.' I can feel a song coming on.
I love Ryan and Hughie's showmance. Wish we could see more of it.
Georgina is gonna go cos she is getting pure airtime. For some reason Big Brother wants the most entertaining housemates out. God knows why. Show ruiners.
Aw Jackson admires and adores Georgina. I wanna, I wanna I gotta be adored. YOU ADORE ME. Etc. And tings.
Alex is sharing a secret with Lateysha. Is it where he keeps his personality hidden?
Aw, Georgina is not used to someone looking after her. That's cute. Why is she pushing him away then? That's sad. Jackson: 'If you go tomorrow, I'm gonna die.' Aw. Nice to love someone so much you wanna die. Until they go and then you forget ten mins later.
It's Georgina out. Oh no Georgina is crying! But I thought she'd had a wasted month! Jackson is gonna walk with her. OMG all the crying and wailing. It's like an opera. 'I love you, Jackson.' How long before Jackson is having 'an ickle flirt' again? I give it 20 minutes. VOTE TO EVICT strikes again. I like Georgina. All my faves gone so far. Wood floats down to the final.
Georgina: 'I've not been involved in any drama.' Nor has Evelyn. I would be like Georgina if I got evicted. Bawling and moaning.
Georgina: 'What is this energy bullshit?' Emma: 'Do you think you're negative?' Georgina: 'Well, yeah.' Ha. I think Georgina is a good housemate. She HAD to go with this dumb voting system. Worse than Brexit. Here are your best bits: 'Oh no' is the correct response to that.
I don't know why Georgina hates her smile, she's really pretty and was a good housemate. She just needs to go hug a tree, lol.
Have you noticed Emma has not told anyone they're a great housemate yet this year?
Oh so they're bringing new people in. Ugh. Mind you, at this point, does it really fucking matter? No. BRING BACK MARCO. EHEHEHEHEH. And Andrew. OK, thanks.